Lovers' Lies

by Shirley Wine

  Keir didn’t want to let her go, or lose this precious newly awakened memory.

  He held her shoulders and looked into grey eyes swimming with tears.

  "You never hated me, or abandoned me—" his cracked voice broke and he was unable to continue.

  "I've never, ever hated you. You idolized your father; I couldn't take you away from him. But I loved you so much, sweetheart. More than you'll ever know." She wiped tears from her cheeks. "At first Caine was bitter—

  "And then he married Muriel." Keir pulled his mother into his arms and as he held her, Muriel’s poison leeched away, setting him free. "You smell the same."

  "I’ve always used this perfume." She managed a shaky laugh.

  "I’ve just come from Darkhaven," he said roughly, "and finally asked the right questions. Dad had no right to lie to me."

  Elizabeth lifted a gentle hand and stroked his face.

  "Let it go Keir," she said softly, her palm warm against his cheek. "One jealous woman has caused us both far too much sorrow. Your father has not had it easy. And his future doesn’t look bright."

  Now, that was something he understood.

  "I’ll try," he promised softly. "What brings you both here?"

  "Victoria rang and asked us to come," Garth spoke for the first time. "She wanted someone covering her back. Someone she could trust."

  The wealth of accusation in those words sent fresh guilt spiking into Keir's conscience.

  Guilt piled on guilt, and shame rode him hard.

  He should have been the one person Victoria knew she could implicitly trust.

  Not two strangers.

  What did that say about him? That he was a rotten prospect for a husband and father. That he was judgmental and cruel.

  And he’d scorned Muriel for using just such tactics.

  "I see." He looked from his mother to her husband. "We’ll talk more, but first I need to speak to Victoria."

  "You’ll have to use some fancy footwork to get her to listen to anything you have to say," Garth said with no small measure of satisfaction.

  Keir grimaced and raked an agitated hand through his hair. "Tell me something I don’t know."

  "Garth you promised," Elizabeth chided softly. Keir saw the look they exchanged and wondered just what promise she’d extracted from her husband.

  "Can I come, Daddy?" Connor tugged on his hand.

  Keir crouched down and held the child’s shoulders. "Can you stay here with Granny Elizabeth and Grandpa? I need to talk to your mum. Alone. Okay?"

  "I s'pose," he said with a put-upon-sigh.

  Keir dredged up a smile and tapped his nose. He rose nodded to the adults and then walked across the room. As he reached the door Ellison spoke. "Donovan?"

  He looked at the man an eyebrow raised in question.

  "I hope she gives you hell. It’s no more than you deserve."

  "Garth! Stop it!" Elizabeth protested with a little laugh. "Go Keir. You have a jewel in Victoria."

  He winced. Victoria was a jewel. One he had treated carelessly at that. He took the stairs two at a time. Outside her room, he paused unaccountably nervous.

  His first mistake with Victoria, he realized with stark grimness, was not insisting she share his bed right from the start.

  And it’s too damn late to start over.

  Was this how she’d felt at Darkhaven? Had she been flummoxed meeting him and when started on a deception, hadn't known how to correct that first mistake?

  Had she too wanted desperately to go back and start over?

  Impatient, he knocked and opened the door.

  His heart stopped and then raced. Victoria, her back toward him was placing folded clothes in an open suitcase on the end of the bed. For timeless moments he stared, winded with guilt and sorrow.

  That glorious mane of hair had been ruthlessly cropped. Now its short waves, barely brushed her chin.

  He clenched his hands as he remembered destroying her hairdo earlier. Guilt wracked him afresh.

  And without that mass of hair, she was as vulnerable as a newly shorn lamb.

  Was her control as tenuous his?

  He breathed deeply, trying to summon his usual rational calm, but it proved far too elusive. His whole future rested on this moment and it scared the heck out of him. This interview scared him more than any of the multi-million dollar deals he did every day.

  They only concerned money.

  Victoria was his life and his soul. And he faced her as nervous as a teen on his first date.

  "Victoria?"

  Finally, she glanced his way. A surge of color swept up her neck and throat and her hands crushed the delicate silk fabric of a garment she held.

  And he just knew she was remembering her humiliation at his hands. Shame seared him through and through. Had he hurt her beyond forgiveness?

  Garth was right. He didn’t deserve a woman like Victoria.

  He crossed the space, gently took the maltreated blouse from her hands and laid it on the bed.

  "You cut your hair."

  Victoria risked a glance at him, and then wished she hadn’t when she saw his expression. Her heart beat triple time and the boulders now permanently lodged in her stomach grew larger.

  "It was time."

  A fierce expression flashed through his eyes, increasing the trembling in the pit of her stomach. He tilted his head to one side and studied her intently. "I like it but—"

  "But?" She struggled dismally for calm.

  "I’m sorry you felt the need to have it done."

  Victoria gnawed at her lower lip feeling naked and exposed. "It was more than time, Keir. It was a burden. One I’m not prepared to carry any more."

  Guilt spiked and he flinched at her harsh words.

  "Your hair. Your choice." Aware of the fine tremble in his hands, he buried them in his pockets. "You’re leaving?"

  "What did you expect?"

  The silence stretched as they looked at each other. Her vulnerability increased his guilt. He caught both her hands in his. "Have I put myself beyond forgiveness?"

  Her lower lip trembled, she caught it ruthlessly between her teeth and blood bloomed in her mouth.

  Every instinct screamed to stay strong and to finish this now. But facing him, she discovered that the decision wasn’t so easy.

  "Why Keir?" She struggled to keep her tone even.

  "Will saying I’m sorry help?" He increased the pressure of his grip.

  "No." With a moment of clear insight she knew that unless he lowered those barriers and opened up, there was no way forward.

  She was no longer prepared to settle for less than his total commitment. It was necessary if they were to have a meaningful future. One thing was certain, they could no longer continue as things stood.

  "I’m sick of being played for a fool," he muttered.

  Anger curled through her apprehension. She lifted her chin and looked him squarely in the eye. "And I’m tired of being judged and made to pay for some other woman’s sins."

  A dull red crept up under his tan.

  The subtle acknowledgement gave her the courage to demand answers. "Why that phony engagement to Davina?"

  Why had he contracted that cold-blooded alliance? Knowing what she did now, she knew love never entered into the equation.

  Keir winced and raked an agitated hand through his hair. "Donovans wanted their CEO to be a married man."

  It was all she could do not to give a derisive snort.

  He’d have to do better than haul out that lame excuse.

  She watched as he began to pace, his agitation obvious, every line of his body taut with tension. Would he allow her to know the man behind the mask? Or were his protective barriers too deeply entrenched?

  "Why her?"

  His frantic pacing stopped. And the look he gave her made her breath backup in her chest.

  "Davina was a mistake."

  Talk about stating the obvious.

  "Who did this to you, Keir?" she asked q
uietly, determined to discover the cause. She willed him to open up.

  Intuitively, she knew only someone or something he’d cared deeply about could have the power to inflict such hurt.

  "Who was the woman who played you for a fool?"

  She watched Keir struggle with his entrenched reserve silently willing him to break that barrier. She deserved and needed total honesty if they were to salvage anything from this mess.

  "My ex-wife," he said on a rough sigh.

  Jealousy jarred her as he spoke of the woman he’d loved and asked to share his life.

  Victoria couldn’t shake her resentment.

  A resentment born from knowing he’d left her and moved on. While her life had narrowed as she supported and cared for their child. She’d sacrificed so much for this man.

  From here on in, she demanded equality.

  Do I really want to know about the woman he’d loved and married? The woman who’d hurt him beyond bearing. The woman whose sins I was asked to pay for today?

  Victoria wanted to strangle that inner voice before it completely destroyed her self-confidence.

  He crossed to the window and stood staring out. His posture rigid, hands thrust deep in his pockets. This was obviously very painful territory. When he finally turned to face her, she was shocked by his pallor.

  "Who was she?" She struggled to get the question past dry lips.

  "Katrina D’Audley." He shrugged meeting her eyes steadily. "She was a junior prosecutor in the Seattle District Attorney’s office." He rubbed an agitated hand along his jaw. "She was beautiful and ambitious. But then so was I."

  His ex was a professional woman? Victoria digested that unwelcome information watching Keir for any betraying subtle nuances. Does he still love her?

  "Her father was a Judge and she made no bones about her ambition to join him on the bench one day."

  A Judge! And I'm merely a humble florist. Victoria struggled under the weight of the unfavorable comparison.

  "She was offered promotion to senior prosecutor." He raked an unsteady hand through already disheveled hair.

  "I was pleased for her but—" he broke off swallowing hard.

  The glitter of tears in his dark eyes shocked her. Keir wasn’t a man to wear his heart on his sleeve. "What happened?"

  "Her promotion coincided with her pregnancy."

  The bald statement hit Victoria hard.

  He'd made another woman pregnant—and then left her?

  "I was delighted at the prospect of being a father." The words seemed to be torn from him.

  "You have another child?" Icy dread coalesced in her chest. Had he abandoned a child along with his wife?

  The glance he cast her way was tortured. "No."

  It took every ounce of self-control she possessed not to go to him and offer comfort. "What happened?"

  "All charm, Katrina asked me for money. To equip the nursery she said. But—" his voice faltered.

  Victoria remained silent, willing him to continue. She sensed this was akin to tearing his heart out.

  He heaved a burdened sigh then said bitterly, "She flew to Mexico for a late term abortion, a procedure illegal in America unless the pregnancy is life threatening."

  Horror clawed at Victoria. "How late?"

  "The end of her second trimester."

  A pregnancy that far along was almost viable. Bile gushed up her throat. Unconsciously her hand splayed across her abdomen as she grappled with nausea.

  Small wonder he’d had such an extreme reaction to her request for money. Unwittingly, she’d struck a vicious blow to a very painful wound.

  "She returned, unburdened by an inconvenient pregnancy, and unrepentant," he said his expression grim. "She claimed there would be plenty of time for another baby, her promotion couldn’t wait."

  "I’m so sorry, Keir." Compassion swamped Victoria and she crossed to his side and gripped his arm in silent support.

  Intuitively, she knew he still grieved for his unborn baby.

  "I’ll regret being unable to protect my daughter to my dying day. But I’ll never regret ending my marriage."

  Victoria watched him, her heart aching. That he knew the sex of his baby made it very real and his ex-wife’s actions, more incomprehensible.

  He’d been so protective of her and Connor during the press siege and she just she knew his inability to protect a defenseless unborn baby girl from the ultimate type of child abuse would've dealt a terrible blow to his honor and pride.

  And Keir was not short on either.

  "Was that why you returned home?"

  He gave her a strained smile. "Not immediately. I transferred to New York. I needed a hell of a lot of distance between me and Katrina."

  Having faced his blind rage, Victoria could well imagine his need. It also explained his recent engagement.

  "And I’m sorry." He gripped her hands tightly. "I expended some of that rage on you today. You didn’t deserve it."

  She glanced up at him through her lashes.

  The memory of that encounter in his office sent a shiver of desire ghosting through her.

  Driven and angry as he’d been, his fierce lovemaking had also been the most incredibly exciting experience she’d ever known. Just thinking about it had heat pooling in the pit of her stomach.

  A tiny smile quirked at the corner of his mouth, as he shook his head, his expression tinged with amusement.

  "What’s so funny?"

  "I’ll never be able to view my desk as just a work space again," he said ruefully.

  Heat surged up her neck and into her cheeks.

  Something intense and vulnerable flashed through his eyes and with a soft imprecation he hauled her into his arms crushing her close.

  "God Victoria! I’ve been so stupid and I love you so much. Please say you’ll forgive me." He held her away and looked into her eyes. "I need you. I need your love, your passion, your compassion."

  Joy trembled as burgeoning hope spread its luminous tentacles. These were the words she’d craved to hear. Did he mean it or were they an expedient necessity?

  Did she dare take them at face value? Or was she setting herself up for more heartbreak?

  "I love you, Keir, I always have," she said quietly not quite ready to drown in euphoria. "But you knew that didn’t you?"

  Guilt flashed through his expressive eyes and he nodded.

  Of course he’d known she loved him. And she was as incapable of disseminating now as she had been that long ago summer. Keir had ruthlessly played on that knowledge.

  Victoria refused to give in. She needed answers.

  "Davina?"

  He grimaced and ran a finger around inside his collar as if it was suddenly too tight. He was clearly uncomfortable.

  "We did a deal," he admitted. "She’d be my hostess and give me an heir. I would make no further demands on her. Neither of us wanted love or commitment. After Katrina I wanted nothing to do with love or any other messy emotion." He gave her a strange look. "Then Logan brought you to Darkhaven."

  She looked at him through the veil of her lashes as nerves skittered up and down her spine.

  Did he know Logan had bribed her to visit Darkhaven with the sole intention of smashing Keir's engagement to Davina?

  "I was shocked rigid," he admitted gruffly. "You were the one woman I’d never forgotten and it seemed to me you were set to marry my brother."

  "That was never going to happen. Logan guessed you were Connor’s father and engineered that meeting."

  "I’ve since realized that was what he was about."

  "Why did you never seek me out?" It was the one question she burned to have answered.

  He looked at her his expression sober. "You were so young. I should not have touched you that summer, but the temptation proved impossible to resist. I left that letter for you in case you needed to contact me. When you never did, I thought it wiser to leave you alone and give you time to enjoy blossoming into adulthood."

  Victoria watched him
, head on one side, as she weighed his words.

  "Look," he said impatiently gripping her hands. "Your father was right. I was too old and hard for a gentle girl like you then."

  "And now?"

  "I’m still too old and hard for you."

  Victoria couldn’t help it. A trill of laughter escaped. He frowned blackly, and she laughed harder. He looked so put out and so like Connor in a sulky mood, she couldn’t help it.

  So he thought he was too old?

  "What’s so damn funny?"

  "You are." Her hands slid up his chest and she buried them in his sable hair whispering provocatively, "Granddad."

  "You little wretch," he crushed her close, burying his face in her cropped hair. "I’ll never let you go."

  "I’m counting on it." She traced his lower lip with a trembling finger.

  It was all the invitation he needed. He kissed her and the incandescent passion they generated flared between them.

  At last Keir tore his mouth hers and looked into her eyes. "Can you forgive me for what happened earlier?"

  "On one condition," she whispered softly.

  His obvious apprehension made her smile. "What?"

  "Don’t wait too long to do it again. It was so exciting and you did promise me more."

  "Witch," he muttered on a fierce predatory growl.

  He crushed her close and her response was instantaneous as she surrendered to the tumultuous passion only Keir ever evoked.

  Afterwards, entwined in his arms, the dew of passion cooling on her skin, she stirred and tried to pull out of his embrace. "Your mother, I forgot—"

  Keir curved his arm around her and tugged her back against his chest. He lifted a hand and stroked it down her cheek; the tender gesture set her heart fluttering.

  "I’m sure she’s figured out we’re otherwise engaged," he said grinning mischievously.

  He looked so like Connor her resistance dissolved.

  "She’s very astute. But I guess we should go downstairs."

  With great reluctance, Victoria sat up and reached for her discarded clothes and began dressing.

  Keir gathered up his clothes and began to dress. He looked across as Victoria his expression sober. "I’ve just come from Darkhaven."

  Victoria refused to look at him afraid of revealing something she’d vowed to keep secret.