A Touch of Light

by Cilika Kunovic

  “Anna, you are a foolish woman to think that this marriage could possibly last or do any good to any of us. The girl is wrong for him, even if she is not aware of it. You will mark my words someday!”

  As Joe was saying these words, Anna was having some thoughts of her own. “There is potential ruin facing all of us unless you and young Joe manage to grow up before this marriage takes place. This could very well be the end of you unless you start making sense. You know your son and know that he takes after you in every way, so therefore you’d better start giving him some better examples or else! Say what you must to me, but watch what you say to the two of them. One thing that I am sure of: there isn’t enough room for two stubborn egos in that shop!”

  Once she said it, she had some reservations as to whether should she have said it at all.

  Anna hoped that someday her children would all be happily married. She even dared to hope for some grandchildren — although, secretly, she knew that her time was getting shorter and shorter. Her legs were giving her more and more trouble, and the stress did not help. She was unable to relax and she had lost the zest for house improvements. Things took on a different direction. She was dreading the upcoming day when her firstborn child could be making the biggest mistake of his life. But how to convince him or warn him of a possible mistake, when she could just as well push him away more than his father already had? There is always the danger that the more you oppose, the more they pull in the other direction, out of sheer foolishness. One can only hope for the best outcome.

  No wonder Ivan so infrequently came home. Who would want to listen to all that was going on? He wished to come on many occasions but then changed his mind, as it was too hard to avoid his father and his brother without some form of confrontation and with one complaining about the other.

  Pepper made a real fuss whenever Ivan showed up. “One of these days, I am going to take him away with me,” Ivan teased.

  Lucille would never have consented to any such idea and always replied that he could take Molly, the cat, but not Pepper. Then Mother replied, “Ivan, I sincerely hope that, after all this, you will come home more often. I appreciate your not wanting to interfere between your father and Joe, but you mustn’t forget that there are still four other members in this family who are not responsible for the trouble around here. Try not to let us down.” Then she thought further and stopped nagging him about it.

  “Mother, you worry too much. You know very well that neither Joe nor Father ever listens to you when it comes to who is going to win an argument. You would be wise to spare yourself. You may not be aware of the fact that you have a little politician right here in the house who has it all figured out. She has been a peacemaker for quite some time without anyone noticing — not you or even the guys themselves. Why do you think Lucille spends so much time at the shop?”

  “Ah, Lucille happens to be quite a nuisance to them at times. You know how she is. She never stops talking, and it gets on your father’s nerves at times. She is forever defending her brother.”

  “That is exactly what I mean! She is well aware that Father is being unfair to Joe, and so she sometimes tries to stop the bullying in her own way. Joe has been more of a father to her by being gentle, while Father never learned how to show affection. I know that he loves us, but he is going the wrong way about showing it — you of all people know this. Lucille is suffering more than you could possibly know. Can you not see it? Everyone thinks of her as a little child who knows nothing, and nobody gives her credit for seeing it all and suffering silently without being able to do much about it. Pepper sees it and tries to comfort her his own way. He has been chasing the chickens and everything in sight lately to work out his frustrations. But he sees his best friend suffering right beside him.

  “Mother, you are so preoccupied with Father and my brother lately that you don’t see Mira or Lucille suffering. I could walk away and try to forget some of the things that are going on here, but Mira and Lucille are being forgotten in a not so nice way. Mira sees it, Pepper sees it, so why can’t you see it as well? Father can take care of himself and so can Joe. They are both selfish enough to look out for themselves. And let me tell you, Mama, Father is using you for the wrong reasons. He knows how much you love Joe but he is trying to keep you on his side, which is not fair to you.”

  Ivan was becoming irritated. “You see, this is why I don’t come home often, because I see things as they are.”

  The Spencers were happily awaiting the wedding of their daughter to take place, having it in mind that after the wedding, their future son-in-law would open his own business. Little did they know how determined young Joe could be when he had made up his mind about something. After all, as they say, the apple does not fall too far from the tree. Like father, like son, and never was that more true than in this family. These two men hardly ever talked or listened to one another. Each man had a plan and, without ever discussing it with the other, just assumed that the other was of the same mind and had the same dreams regarding the business.

  Eventually, they both found out the hard way how wrong they were. It could have worked out for the better, had young Joe been allowed to take over the business and advance into modern times. That would have been at the cost of hurting his father’s feelings, which in turn would have destroyed their relationship anyway. The two of them had reached a point of no return! Whatever happened to this family? There was a lack of communication and understanding that so often overcomes some families, and it had a lot to do with time.

  Joe Kramer Sr. was a good man, living in the old world, where he felt safe. He was frustrated with himself and at the same time afraid of not only losing his son but also of losing his beloved wife. He knew that she had been content when the children were small and happily prancing about. She was devoted to him as well as the children. However, she often pleaded with him not to yell so much at young Joe.

  Now, things were different, and it worried him. Amazingly, Ivan never approached him one way or another. He simply stayed away from the whole pitiful situation. Ivan often consoled his mother and gave her hope. The two brothers had been close when they were small, but young Joe had a temper like his father, and Ivan wanted no part of it. Ivan also kept his private affairs to himself, for fear of ever having to deal with his father.

  Mira had no time or energy for any input at this time just before the wedding. She could barely handle everyday life amongst the family problems — and there were plenty.

  “Can I help in any way?” Lucille asked Mira.

  “Lucille, I have too much on my mind right now to be telling you what to do. You don’t understand what these people are like. Mama is trying to keep Father out of trouble, and I am trying to keep our brother in line before he makes even more of a mess out of this already troubled wedding.”

  “I know that Joe will listen to me if I ask him nicely.” Lucille was pleading with her sister. She also had had her life changed forever by the same problems, only no one would listen to her. Pepper was the only one who never let her down. She was able to trust him completely.

  “Why are you so upset?” Mother intervened.

  “Oh, it’s nothing — I just wanted to help.” Then Lucille turned and went her own way so as not to add to the problems.

  The house was surrounded by plenty of beautiful trees and one could hardly ignore the tranquility of it all. Lucille was probably the only one who recognized and appreciated it. She took full advantage of it with Pepper, and those had been very close-knit times for both of them. The two of them also spent a lot of time down by the creek, where she could sit at the edge of the water and chat with Pepper, who would answer back by barking or jumping right into the flow just to impress her. It is no wonder that all through Lucille’s life, there had always been a dog in the family.

  CHAPTER THREE

  Mira and Mat

  MIRA LIKED THE BOY ACROSS THE ROAD; she had known him
all her life. There was quite a difference in their ages, but she liked to spend time around him when he was with her brothers. Having known each other for so long, it was easy to start a relationship. Mat was handsome and was quite responsive to her; however, it was quite a long time before they considered going steady.

  Mat said, “I want to tell you something. I have had a crush on you since you were in Grade 1.”

  “Then why didn’t you ever tell me about it? Ah yes, I was too young to know, right?”

  “That is true. But then, I had this feeling that you would always be there for me.”

  “So what changed your mind? I am older now, and you didn’t exactly rush into telling me.”

  “Suddenly, I realized: What if somebody else beats me to it and asks you out? What will I do then? One never knows what life brings. Just look at your brother and Katherine.” Mat and Mira were good friends and she felt that she could tell him anything. They were both in love with one another and they knew in their hearts that they would one day get married. This made Mira very happy.

  Mira had been content with her life even before she fell in love with Mat. He, being much older, had seemed to her to be off limits. She had assumed that he would not even notice her, much less think of her as a good-looking young girl. He, however, had had it in his mind and his heart for some time that she would hopefully someday become his bride. “Someday I will marry this girl.”

  She would tell Mat about the problems with Joe, but Mat had always known Joe and knew what Joe was like because they went to school together. There were many worries and responsibilities weighing on her shoulders, but she was smart and she knew her own abilities and limitations. She was a natural nurturer, and Anna often stated:

  “I hope that someday you will have many children to love and care for.”

  Their home situation had not improved. The women hoped that Ivan would step in and deal with the two Joes, men-to-men. He, however, flatly declined their wish, stating: “That is never going to happen. I have washed my hands of both of them a long time ago. There are things in life that are meant to be and there is nothing that we can do about it.” That was Ivan’s point of view, and he was right. Everything happens for a reason.

  Mira had managed to achieve a reasonable relationship with Katherine for Joe’s sake. During the preparations for the wedding, Mira served as a go-between for the two families. Anna had enough to deal with, just keeping her husband out of trouble and preventing him from causing any further tension. So things were quite frustrating, and Mira had very little time for Mat. He understood the situation and figured, if he stood by the family and stayed loyal to them, that would help the most. He also had his own responsibilities at home, and there would be plenty of time later for him and Mira.

  Being the older of the two girls imposed a heavy burden on Mira, so she decided to include Lucille in the wedding preparations, without getting her too involved with the problems that were mounting. It is never easy to tell people what to do or how to feel, when many future years could depend on those decisions. However, Lucille was way ahead of her.

  “Don’t bother. Joe will not listen to you or anyone else. Mama tried, and he wouldn’t listen.”

  In later years, Joe may have regretted not having listened to what Mother tried to say to him. She wanted him to see that he was making a big mistake in marrying Katherine, but was afraid of coming right out with it for fear of sending him right into Katherine’s arms.

  Mira was anxious for the wedding to be over with but wondered, will it happen at all? Things were so touchy that it could blow out of proportion.

  The fall always depressed Mira. Her life was so full of ups and downs that she didn’t deserve. Young Joe hardly noticed much of any day-to-day activities and was oblivious to life in general. He never liked the winter, unlike his younger brother, who devoted his life to nature whether it was winter or summer. The two of them could not have been further apart in their ways. As Ivan planned his winter activities, Joe was busy gathering more and more information regarding emigration. Katherine began to notice his daily preoccupation and detachment from her activities. Things got so bad that Joe had to tell somebody, and Mira was the chosen one.

  “Mira, I want to talk to you about something, and you must promise not to freak out on me.”

  “Are you in some kind of trouble? What have you done this time that you need protection from it?”

  “No, it isn’t anything like that — and what do you mean I need protection? Don’t you be jumping to any conclusions! I just want to talk so someone about this. Promise me!”

  “Yes, I promise. So, what is it? Is everything all right with you and Father?”

  “I want to immigrate to America and take Katherine with me, but she refuses to even think about it.”

  At first, Mira refused to even listen to him, as it seemed unbelievable to her that her brother would even contemplate ever leaving. I must be hearing this wrong, she thought to herself.

  “How dare you even consider imposing that much sorrow on both families? I am not sure that I heard you right. You must be out of your mind!” She was sad that he should want to go so far away to an unknown world; and sad that she might never see him again if he left. How dare he even think about it?

  “Mira, you must know what I go through on a daily basis with Father.”

  “Yes, and I also know that you cause plenty of it. You and Father are alike, and I know you both well.”

  Mother would be heartbroken to lose her firstborn son to a foreign country, not to mention Lucille. Surely she would react strongly about his leaving. That poor child has devoted her whole young life to keeping peace in the family at the risk of making a complete fool of herself in order to keep the two stubborn men from killing each other. While Mira often disagreed with her father’s definitions of life in general, she knew that this blow might even kill him.

  “But Joe, listen to me. Once you and Katherine are married, and you will no longer live at home, things will turn around for all of us. You must be aware that while Father would likely die if you leave, Mother would be wounded beyond repair. I don’t quite know if I should slap you in the face to wake you up, or hug you goodbye! I promise you, things will change. Don’t do this.”

  “Mira, you are not helping things. I was hoping to have you on my side, but you are anything but that. I can’t stand working with Father anymore. And there is another reason why we should leave: Father can’t stand Katherine, even though she has tried to warm up to him and make him change his mind about her.”

  “You are forgetting that Katherine is not in agreement with you on this move, and I can’t blame her. In fact, she is the one who is being mature in this case. It is you, again, who is causing all the trouble.”

  But Mira was struggling with what she knew and every time she considered telling Mother about Joe’s intentions, Pepper would give her a look as if to reprimand her for even thinking about doing so. Pepper was very protective of Anna, and it was at times like this when Mira wished that Pepper would go and chase the chickens instead of giving her a hard time. Pepper was always the reasonable one. Molly would be in Mother’s lap before he could even think of it. But then, Pepper was the loyal one. He tried to protect her from Father Kramer whenever he decided to use some choice words, his ears popped up in an alert mode. Animals are quite a bit smarter than we give them credit for. If things got really heated, Pepper would bark at Joe Sr. and defend Anna. He was always on her side, as animals can sense tension. While Joe Sr. would never lay a hand on his wife or the children, he did not refrain from verbal abuse, most of which applied to young Joe or to Anna regarding her son.

  Mira had very little time for Pepper; that privilege was usually reserved for Lucille. She often watched Pepper and Lucille through the window, playing. She wished that she could be as carefree as the two of them. She’d had to grow up much too soon.
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  The years before Joe Jr. joined the family business were the best years of their lives. Family meals were enjoyed, and the school years provided social as well as intellectual benefits. When they arrived home from school, Mother would greet them happily. The kitchen smelled good and inviting, and there would be snacks and discussion about school activities. One takes things for granted when one is small.

  On a positive note, Mira was in love by now. Mat was very attentive, kind, patient, and always there for her. He assumed that since Mira knew what his future plans were and felt the same, he could relax and wait until she was ready and able to concentrate on their future together. As for his parents, they would have preferred that he settle down as soon as possible. After all, he was entering those years when a bachelor needs to settle down, marry, have children.

  “Mat, you know that we need a woman in the kitchen. I can’t do this anymore. Your father and I would like to spend some time resting and watching you and your children mingling and enjoying your young years. You know that we like Mira. We have known her from the time she was born and we are certain that she would like to get married.”

  “Mother, you don’t know the situation at the Kramers’. There is more than meets the eye.”

  “You mean she doesn’t want to marry you? But we thought that she loved you. We certainly love her. So what is keeping the two of you from getting married? Can’t you tell me what is wrong?”

  “One of these days I will bring Mira here and the two of you can have a woman-to-woman chat.” That was all he managed to say to his mama.

  CHAPTER FOUR

  Joe and Katherine

  BY NOW , JOE AND KATHERINE’S WEDDING DAY had arrived with a lavish fury. The Spencers made sure that one and all were informed of their precious daughter’s wedding to Joseph Kramer Jr. Cost was not an issue. The gown that had been purchased for Katherine, needless to say, matched the Spencers’ reputation. The fact that she was so beautiful also attracted a lot of attention. Young Joe was nervous but proud. However, those pre-wedding issues had taken a toll on him.