“I sincerely hope that, after the wedding, things will slow down, because I can’t take much more of this. This business about the Spencer reputation and how it has to be met is driving me crazy.” Joe adored his Katherine, but he would be satisfied with fewer bridal showers, which had to be given and/or attended. The bridesmaids were too tall or too short; the ushers were not thin enough, etc. The church and the banquet hall had to be decorated to perfection. The bride herself went through a few temper tantrums over the dress design. However, Katherine’s mother soon took care of all that. After all, her baby had to have it all.
Joe Jr. tried to bury himself in his work but he had his pride, too. After all, he, too, came from a decent, respected family of good standing, not to mention owning a business.
“I don’t know why there is such a fuss about the Spencers. My father has worked very hard to achieve what we have. I might not agree with him on certain things, but that is our private business.” Of course, no one needed to know that his father kept telling him how he would regret ever marrying “that girl.” One wonders if he had a premonition about the whole thing and looked for an exit in the wrong place. If these were supposed to be happy times, then why was everybody so miserable?
Anna just hoped to survive the whole ordeal. She wanted to be supportive to her son and wished to see him happy. Had she been aware of the whole truth, she might not have survived the wedding. She made her own dress for the occasion, and the girls looked beautiful and proud. Ivan felt honoured to be his brother’s best man. After all, they were a handsome-looking family.
The one offended by the whole situation was Joe Kramer Sr. He could hardly walk and really tried not to upset his son. He found this whole thing very difficult to bear, but tried nevertheless.
Lucille had a feeling that she was not only losing her brother to Katherine. There was more to this event than most people knew; but she was unable to place the real reason for her uneasiness.
“Mama, I don’t think Joe is happy today. Why is he so different today?” Lucille wondered.
“What makes you think he isn’t happy? This is his wedding day and he wanted to marry Katherine. So I can only assume that he is happy.” Anna felt faint.
Despite the tension, the wedding, a glamorous event, went well, as did the reception, which was held at a fancy club that the Spencers belonged to. The newlyweds sped off to Austria for their honeymoon.
After their honeymoon, the couple lived at the Spencers’ home for the time being. Joe had hoped to resume working on their visas with the Emigration Office, but Katherine chose to look for a house to buy. It was obvious that they were not thinking along the same lines. In fact, there was a total lack of communication. Both of them were being a little selfish. The Spencers had for years rented a particular house for their summer retreat, which only the rich could afford. Katherine had long hoped that someday she could live in that house. Joe, however, was not at all interested in that proposition. He had a one-track mind: he was going to America. Once he made up his mind, there was no turning back. He would succeed or else.
In the meantime, Anna was warning her husband about Joe. “You are going to lose your son unless you start treating him as an equal. You know very well that you should have done so years ago. Remember when he proposed some changes for the shop and you flatly refused to even listen? That was the time when you should have made the change in your attitude.”
“Anna, you should never interfere with the business. You don’t know how things work when you have responsibilities to the customers to get the job done right and on time. Don’t interfere!”
“You think that you are always right. Go ahead and yell at me, as you have done so many times; this time it is going to be you who will be sorry!”
“Father, I wish that you would stop yelling at everybody. I get bad headaches when you yell at people.” Lucille was pleading, tears running down her cheeks. She was shaking and standing beside her mother in defiance against her father. “Mama is right, you know. Joe is not going to come and work with you if you don’t stop yelling at him, because he gets these headaches, too. He told me so a long time ago. I love you and him, but I can’t stand this anymore. You love him too, don’t you?” By now, she was unable to stop shaking. As tiny as she was, she was mighty.
At this point, the newlyweds found out that they were going to become parents. This was supposed to be the happiest news ever, and to some members of the families it was. This baby was to bring the two families closer together. While Mira and Lucille were overjoyed, Father Kramer thought of it as another of Katherine’s tricks. But deep down, he was happy for his son. He just couldn’t bring himself to admit it to anyone.
When Katherine approached her husband with the news of the baby, she was very careful not to sound overly happy, so that he wouldn’t misunderstand the situation. At first he panicked about having to postpone their trip, but then he was happy about the baby. Katherine, on the other hand, knew exactly what she was doing. The Spencers had offered to help them buy the old summer retreat, plus the vast property that went with it so that Joe could start his own business right there. But Joe continued working with his father. He knew that he could never set up in competition with his father. At the same time, Joe was still unable to open up to his father and tell him that he wished to go away to America. The two of them were never able to talk and work things out openly. They were too much alike.
Little Ksenia was born prematurely but did well once she reached about two months of age. She delighted all her grandparents. She resembled her mother. She was a healthy baby, but the first year was a difficult one for Joe and Katherine.
“What is wrong, Katherine?” Her father asked her. “Is there anything that we can do to help?”
“No, Father, there is nothing that you or Mama can do to make it better. This is between Joe and me, and I am not sure that buying that house will help. Yes, it would be fine with me, but Joe has other things on his mind, and that is the problem right now. I know that everyone expects us to be deliriously happy, having a healthy baby and all, but things are not always as they seem.”
“What is wrong, Joe?” asked Lucille. “Why don’t you and Katherine bring little Ksenia to our house some time? Mama is dying to hold her, and I would like to look after her when you want to do other things. Why are you not happy now that you and Katherine are married and you have little Ksenia?”
“Lucille, you couldn’t possibly understand, so try not to interfere. You are much too young to deal with my problems, so don’t try!”
After a year, Joe’s persistence paid off, and he finalized the paperwork needed for them to emigrate. After some non-stop bickering, Katherine finally gave in and agreed to go. She could not imagine going to an unknown land where she would have no family or friends. But now she would at least have the baby to love and to look after, while Joe worked and supported them.
“Once in a while, I want to go home and show off the baby; you have to promise me that much.”
“Once we get on our feet, you can go as often as you wish. But let’s not talk about that right now.” Joe was not just saying these things; he honestly believed that things would work out great. “America is a very prosperous country, and you know that I want the best for you and Ksenia.” Most of Joe’s stress was actually centred on the fact that he had not been able to approach his parents and tell them of his wishes and his dreams.
Finally, one day, Joe got the courage and asked to speak with both parents. “I have been longing to share my real dreams with the two of you. You are my parents and I love you, but I am not happy with my life.” He then proceeded to tell them all about his dreams for his and his Katherine’s future. “Now, before you say anything, I want to make it clear that this whole thing was my idea! I don’t want any accusations against Katherine. You both know me, and I might add that Katherine is not crazy about this at all. The reason that we have had pro
blems lately is because of my plan.”
No words could possibly describe what a catastrophe this presented to the Kramer family. They were in awe. On the other hand, Katherine wrongly assumed that Joe would go to America ahead of her and, when he was ready and settled, he would send for her and Ksenia to join him.
“You don’t understand. I want you to come with me, and Ksenia can stay with your parents for the time being. I am sure that they won’t mind.”
“Yes, my parents would take care of her, but what about me? What makes you think that I want to go to another country without my daughter?” Surely, Katherine was not accustomed to working for money, much less having to struggle, even if only for a little while. And not only was she upset about the whole thing, the Spencers were not happy about losing not only their daughter but their granddaughter to a faraway land. So Joe was not at all popular at the time. But Joe, like his father, was being stubborn.
In the meantime, the situation at the Kramers’ house was nearing some sort of volcanic explosion. Father Kramer was unable to function properly and was taking his frustrations out on everyone in the house. As far as he was concerned, everyone but him had known about this new development. That was not the case at all, but no one could convince him otherwise. Mother had health problems before, but nothing hurt as much as having two of her loved ones in this horrible conflict. It appeared as though Father had instantly aged more than ever before and was quite unable to concentrate on his work or, for that matter, on anything else. He had always felt that he was in control but now he began to realize how much he had relied on young Joe ever since he joined the business. Now, he would go to the shop and cry quietly, making sure no one knew about it. His world was falling apart, and he was unable to stop it. The Kramer family would never be the same again, and he blamed himself for it. Nothing seemed the same or important anymore. He thought about Anna: How could he make it up to her?
Joe and Katherine left on their long journey in late 1905. In those days, people did not travel a lot, and the journey itself was long before they reached their destination, the city of Philadelphia. Once there, they ran into difficulties. First, it was finding a place to live, and second, it was finding a job for Joe.
“Don’t worry. I will do whatever I need to do until I find a better and more suitable job.”
“But how can you get a job without being able to speak the language?”
Not having any connections also didn’t help. Soon they found out that Katherine had been right about Joe’s going ahead first. The jobs that he was able to get were quite degrading, so he chose construction, while Katherine washed dishes in a small restaurant. She was so homesick that Joe found it hard to even look at her.
“Hang on, Katherine, please! I will work two or more jobs in order to get ahead. I miss Ksenia too, and as soon as we can, we will go home and get her. In the meantime, let’s not write home about what we are having to do to get there, all right?”
“I agree! No one is to know about Katherine Spencer, who never had to worry about providing for herself until she married Joe Kramer, the guy who knows everything and listens to no one!” She felt beaten to the ground and alone without Ksenia.
Philadelphia was not a bad place to live, and after a while they started to explore it. The city had a lot of history to offer, and they were curious to find out all they could. Times were not exactly good, but for the two of them it was a novelty, and they were ready to explore their horizons. For the time being, Katherine seemed to be distracted, if only for a short time, and she was giving him less trouble. Needless to say, those moments were rare and not long-lasting. If only he could convince her that everything was going to be all right as soon as he got his first break at a good job! Once that happened, Katherine would not have to work, and things would get better.
To save money for their trip home, they economized by renting a third-floor apartment and sharing a bathroom with the second-floor tenants. As well, they sold their jewellery and borrowed some money for their upcoming journey — they were confident that the Spencers would make good on the loan for them.
“I can’t believe that we are finally going back to get Ksenia! I want to see her face and hug her forever.” Then she broke into hysterical sobs.
Joe had more than that on his mind. How could he face his broken-hearted parents? He hadn’t been writing to them, since he had nothing much to write about. Nothing good, that is. He was so wrapped up with keeping his wife happy, or at least trying to, that he had totally neglected writing.
Lucille, who had been defending her brother about not writing, found herself deeply hurt and never complaining. She would talk to Pepper about it, only to find him bewildered.
“How can he do this to us? Mama is getting weaker all the time, and Father has no one to yell at. Now you know that I don’t mean that, but I am just so frustrated with both of them I could scream. I will never get married so that I won’t have to put up with a husband who will refuse to understand me or my children.”
The reunion with Ksenia was happy but strange. She did not recognize her parents, but that was to be expected. After getting in touch with the emigration office, they found out that they would not be allowed to take their daughter out of the country without her consent. But she would have to be twenty-one years of age to qualify for that. Now the Spencers stepped in and used their so-called “influence” to try and help Joe and Katherine. Every possible attempt was made in order to bypass this law and obtain the necessary papers, but nothing worked.
The Kramers, on the other hand, hoped that such documents would not be available, for not only had they lost Joe, they had lost all connections with their granddaughter once Joe and Katherine left for America. The Spencers had cut them off from all privileges regarding Ksenia.
Father Kramer had given up on the business due to poor health but he told everybody that it was time to retire. The business had suffered a lot after young Joe left. Joe had his youth and therefore more energy to spare than his father. So the business soon slowed down, and orders were not getting completed on time. When your long-time dreams do not materialize, it is not only the dreams that are shattered, you fall apart with them. Every father hopes to have a son who will follow in his footsteps and make him proud. It is perfectly characteristic in most families that their first-born son is expected to do just that. Sons born later were spared that responsibility. On the other hand, the youngest daughter often becomes daddy’s little girl. But that was not the case here. Joe Sr. had room only for one, and now that one had let him down. He was kind enough but he lacked the ability to express himself; for there was no question that he loved all his children. This was simply a case of foolish pride and lack of consideration on his part. A sense of abandonment took over, and he was scared.
“Anna, I have been watching you lately. You are in mourning over Joe’s absence. I know that you blame me for his departure. How can I ever make it up to you? Even Lucille has been avoiding me ever since Joe left. She used to come into the shop and talk our ears off. Now I wish that she would talk to me about anything, only she politely avoids me. I would turn things around if I could, but now it is too late.”
“That is something that you alone will have to figure out. Some things are simply irreversible. They say that things happen for a reason, but I can’t think of even one that makes any sense anymore. As for Lucille, she is older than her age, so don’t try to fool her with any small talk; you might not like what she has to say. One thing is certain; she will not lie, not even just to be polite. There is a thing about that child that scares me and I know that you share my feelings on that one. If she can’t convince young Joe to stay, then no one can.”
After long and lost court proceedings, Joe and Katherine returned to America without their daughter. Hopefully, they would be able to work, with the help of the Spencers, on achieving some sort of compromise to finally get their daughter to join them. It was dev
astating. The Spencers hated Joe for taking their Katherine away from them and they missed her very much. They also made it very clear that it was not her idea to immigrate but they knew she would stand by Joe, even though he would not admit that it had been a big mistake to leave. However, the already strained relationship between the Spencers and the Kramers was by now hopeless.
After his son’s so-called “desertion” the first time, the responsibility bounced back on Joe Sr. and he went blank — panic set in, and darkness fell over him. It was bad enough then, but when Joe left for the second time in early 1907, there was nobody left to work at the shop: When one walked in, there was an aura of abandonment everywhere. In the house, there were now only Mother, Mira, and Lucille. Ivan came often to cheer them up and he always had something positive to say. Joseph Kramer Sr. passed away in late 1907.
When Joe and Katherine returned to America, they had to find a place to live because they were not able to keep paying the rent on their apartment during their stay abroad. This time it was easier, but having left the country, even though it had been for only a short period of time, it was harder for them to acquire their permanent landed status. Their spirits were crushed, and this caused them to argue quite a bit. They continued to keep in touch with their little daughter, but Joe rarely kept in touch with his family. This hurt them. Only Lucille remained hopeful.
Katherine argued, “So this is what your land of opportunity is all about? I used to dream of living in a home that my parents even offered to help us buy, but you had to bring me to this hole, this crummy, unfriendly little hole that is suffocating me day in and day out! So why couldn’t we have stayed there and admitted that it had been a mistake coming here? Even your brother has more sense than you and he begged you to reconsider about returning here. What is it that has such a hold on you? I thought you loved me enough to stay for my sake but you have to win no matter at what cost! Oh, yes! You didn’t want to embarrass your family by failing and would never admit even to yourself that you’ve made the biggest mistake of your life. Look, Joe, where it got you. It killed your father and it has most definitely killed our marriage!”
A Touch of Light Page 4