A Touch of Light

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A Touch of Light Page 8

by Cilika Kunovic


  Annie had the same special affection toward her brother Stefan as Lucille had for Joe. Then, Ivan and Jason sort of fell into the same category, even though Jason was to become a doctor and Ivan was a shoemaker. The middle child always falls into a somewhat awkward situation.

  Lucille was sixteen years old when her ordeal began and now she was nineteen and almost completely cured. “I have no idea how I can ever repay you for what you have done for me,” Lucille suddenly one day said to Ljuba. “I would probably have died before Mother if it hadn’t been for you and your family.”

  “Now, you know very well that I couldn’t have done it by myself. First of all, Dr. Lang is a good doctor and knew that you needed help. Furthermore — ”

  Before Ljuba could say anything more, Lucille interrupted, “It was the love and understanding that helped me the most. There was too much going on in my family and everybody was too preoccupied with themselves to realize that I needed help. As for me, I was too tired to even care about asking for help. All I wanted to do was sleep.”

  (There was some speculation about how Ljuba helped Lucille back to health, but no one ever questioned her about it.)

  Shortly after the Christmas holidays, Mother Kramer passed away. As much as Mira and Lucille missed her, they were relieved to know that her ordeal was finally over, and she was at peace. Needless to say, Joe and Katherine were not present at the funeral. Ivan, as usual, came to join his sisters. Anna Kramer was respected within the community, and her funeral was well attended.

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  The Absent Son

  BY NOW, JOE AND KATHERINE HAD TWO MORE SONS, Martin, and Joe, III. They had promptly informed the Spencers about Martin’s birth, but when little Joe arrived, they were really struggling. No one knows what it is to live in another country and be poor unless they find out for themselves. As the saying goes, you don’t know it unless you live it.

  The biggest blow came to the two of them with the outbreak of the First World War. The fact that it started in their own country (during the Austro–Hungarian regime) made it even more difficult for them to even think of returning.

  The First World War started in July 1914. Austria–Hungary declared war on Serbia. They used the assassination of the Austrian Prince (Archduke Franz Ferdinand) as an excuse to start the war.

  “I don’t believe this!” Joe came storming in, outraged. “Just because I was born in Europe, I am considered a villain. What have I got to do with the greed for power between those countries? But I am now without a job, while they are getting their way, and we are going to starve!” Joe was beside himself. Prejudice against the immigrants became high, even though the leaders of the country might not have agreed to it. The next thing, Katherine was dismissed as well, for the same reason.

  “So this is your country of prosperity!” Katherine sneered at him. Needless to say, she was out of line — but that was nothing unusual for her. After all, he had nothing to do with the prejudice that was all around them; they had indeed become some sort of enemy to some people, and they were not alone. Things like that are not unusual at a time of war. “You realize, of course, that we may never be able to go back again. I hope you are happy about that.”

  Before long, Joe started drinking excessively. The whole world was in a state of panic, and the two of them completely lost touch with the family back home. Joe found out that he could never please his wife, no matter what, and he lost hope. In drinking, he found numbness that helped the pain to go away, if only for a short time.

  Food rationing began, and with Joe out of work — or working and getting paid under the table when he could — there was not much food to spare. The boys were young and liked to eat, so Joe and Katherine were by now arguing non-stop. It was hard on the boys, listening to all those accusations day in and day out. As far as they were concerned, there was no peace at home, none in the world, and their own world was falling apart.

  Eventually, Joe and Katherine hardly ever talked anymore — especially about their homeland, as this only brought more arguments and unpleasantness, and in turn, more drinking.

  “You ought to go and see a doctor. That cough is suspicious,” Joe started to worry.

  “The sooner I pass, the better for me. This is not the way I was accustomed to living, and you know it,” she cried, totally disregarding the fact that it wasn’t Joe’s fault there was a war going on.

  There is always that risk during any war that certain people could be a potential threat; consequently, some employers were simply being cautious as to whom they kept as employees.

  “I have never been involved in any politics, so why must I be the victim of them? I have a family to feed. How can anyone justify this? The children don’t know and don’t care about the war; all they want is food on the table. And don’t you give me your usual nonsense about this whole thing being my fault.”

  Joe recalled the time when his father told him that he would one day regret leaving home: “You could continue running the family business.” Now he wished that he had. It was by now quite evident that he was losing his wife one way or another. She had become a shadow of herself as she continued to lose a lot of weight and the will to live. She totally ignored the boys. All she lived for was her beloved daughter Ksenia, whom she knew she would never see again. In February 1917, she was gone.

  This only finalized their journey to destruction. Joe and the boys were devastated. He plunged himself into more drinking, and before long, the boys became Wards of the State.

  “This is just great! How can I look after my own family without a proper job?” Joe was a lost soul. Now he had no family, and the three boys were putting all the blame on him because of what their mother used to tell them. The agency tried to place them for adoption, but Rudolf wanted them to stay together. That did not always work. Some foster homes did not want more than one or two at a time.

  The war ended in 1918, but the misery of countless lives continued. Needless to say, things don’t improve immediately after any war. There is a process through which all people must go in order to regain a sense of stability.

  Lucille hoped that her brother would contact them after the war. In the meantime, the Spencers were lashing out at them.

  “Not only did Joe let Katherine die, he also wouldn’t or couldn’t keep the boys with him at home,” they were saying. They knew much more of what was going on because Katherine had written home, and Joe hadn’t. Not that the Spencers ever told them about what she wrote, except that when she died, it all came out in the worst way.

  Mira, Ivan, and Lucille were shocked. They had never received any reasonable explanation regarding Katherine’s death, nor about Joe having lost control for a while.

  “Why don’t those boys get in touch with us?” Ivan was saying. “Or the authorities, for that matter . . .”

  “Ksenia, you must tell me what has happened!” Lucille was pleading with her. Lucille had had a hard time getting to see her. Ksenia wanted nothing to do with her father after Katherine died and while she was hard to reach at any time, it was now even harder.

  Ivan was the one who finally convinced the girls not to dwell on Joe. “If Joe doesn’t want to be reached, you must give him the privilege to be alone if he so wishes.”

  “What do you mean by that?” Lucille demanded.

  “I mean, you must go on with your lives. For one thing, Lucille, you don’t have the energy to spare on a brother who couldn’t care less if you are all right. Furthermore, if he ever decides to get in touch with us, he will do so. As for you, Mira, it is time that you paid more attention to Mat and less to Joe.”

  In the past, Ivan had tried to get in touch with Joe many times without telling his mother or his sisters. He cared very much about Joe. Had it not been for Katherine, and his dislike for her, he would have done more in that direction.

  “I am not at all sure that Joe received many or
even any of our letters in the past. I could be wrong — in fact, I hope I am wrong — but she might have withheld our letters to and from Joe so he would think that we hated him for leaving home. In her desperation and frustration, she may have done some real damage.” The girls were shocked, but after a moment, Ivan’s words seemed to make more and more sense.

  “Do you honestly believe that?” Lucille whispered.

  “I never believed that Joe would not write to Mother, at least once a year, had he known that Mother wrote to him so faithfully.”

  “How come you never mentioned this to us before?” Mira was by now almost hysterical.

  “Joe must have been convinced that we had rejected him after he abandoned us not once but twice,” Ivan kept dishing the words out as never before.

  “He must have known that we suffered with him, don’t you think?” Mira pleaded.

  “Mira, I don’t know what he thought or what he knew. Something tells me he got lost in his problems and never looked beyond them. I never mentioned this to any of you, but I tried to contact Joe on many occasions and received no reply. This brings me back to Father, who once insisted that Katherine was going to destroy Joe, due to her selfishness. It would appear that he was right!”

  “Father must have had a premonition about all this,” Lucille added, deep in thought.

  “Joe never cared much about anybody, but he never showed disrespect to Mother. Not ever.”

  “I have been telling you for years that Joe had his reasons for what he did. There is a good chance that he wanted to go away to avoid further family friction. I realize that he had a selfish side to him, but not all of it was directed to the family. Everything happens for a reason.” Lucille always tried hard to analyze many things that had happened in the past for which nobody had answers at the time.

  CHAPTER EIGHT

  Mat and Mira Wed

  MIRA AND MAT’S WEDDING WAS FINALLY APPROACHING. Sometime after Mother Kramer passed on, Mat gently approached Mira about their wedding. “Mira, don’t you think we have waited long enough to be together? It is our time and we deserve to have a beautiful wedding.”

  “Yes, it is time! However, I don’t think we should have anything elaborate. It hasn’t been very long since Mother’s passing, so out of respect for her memory, we should do with less,” Mira stated.

  “If that is what you wish, it is fine with me,” came Mat’s reply.

  Lucille said, “Mira, you should get the best, for you deserve it, if anyone does.” Lucille knew how much time and energy Mira had put into everybody else’s benefit; and now she was being humble when it came to herself. But Mira meant it. Besides, she had a tendency to be kind of frugal, much the same as Mat.

  Mira answered, “I consider myself very lucky, after all we have been through, not to mention the war that affected everybody. There were times when I wondered if we were ever going to get married. But Mat has been very patient and waited until the time was right for us to get married.”

  Ljuba said, “Mira, you need to get out of that house where so much tragedy has taken place.”

  “On one hand, I would agree. But I am not going very far away from my home and I feel lucky for that.” Mira loved her home and her family, so there was no need to run away. “Ivan is giving me away and he is very happy about that.”

  By now, Lucille was not only looking well but she herself was in love. For now, it was supposed to be a secret, but it was definitely love. So there was an aura of excitement in the air all over the house. Ljuba was cooking and baking at the house, as well as answering questions and giving advice if asked.

  Ivan approached Lucille with a sheepish question, “Are you all right?”

  “If you know what is good for you, then you will get out of here before we make you bake,” Lucille answered jokingly, for she knew what he meant by asking her that question. She hit him lightly on the arm and told him to mind his own business. Lucille was more than happy for her sister and that the wedding had finally happened. That also made Mat’s parents happy, as they would now have Mira all to themselves. They knew that Mira was the right girl for Mat and they would get along well.

  Lucille was finally able to devote her life to the animals and her future. Being in the house alone did not bother her at all. “I find comfort in having my memories of my childhood right here. I miss having Pepper around, but I sense Mother’s presence all over the house. Going to work is like going to my second home.”

  “You and Ljuba are very close, that is understandable,” Ivan was happy to confirm. “But I have been hearing some other stories about my little sister. I would be more than willing to be your best man.” Ivan was determined to tease his little sister.

  Lucille had gotten to know Mark Zanton, who she felt was very handsome and certainly very friendly. She knew him through her brothers but she got to know him better while working at the clinic. At the beginning, he would bring some animal in for medical treatment, but he soon started coming more and more just to talk to her. Lucille had a feeling that he probably liked her a bit, but she liked him a lot. Mark was from Gradsko Selo, located about a kilometre from the clinic. Since it was only walking distance away, it was quite convenient for him to stop by and see her. At first, they just talked and really enjoyed exchanging news and ideas; but soon they knew that they were attracted to one another. This had actually begun at a time when Lucille was battling her illness and before she was getting any treatment.

  One day, Ljuba approached Mark, saying, “Mark, I would like to speak with you, if you don’t mind.” Ljuba took a chance on Mark, hoping that he would be willing to help.

  “Yes, of course, Mrs. Dolanc. What can I do for you?” Mark replied.

  “I have noticed that you have taken an interest in Lucille and I am happy that you have, but I need some help that concerns her. You asked me what you can do for me. Please come in and I will explain.” They both went into the house. Steve came in and greeted Mark with approval.

  After Ljuba explained the situation to Mark, he took it as a direct order and approached Lucille seriously in a different way than before.

  “Lucille, I enjoy talking to you and I would like to get to know you better, if you are interested.”

  “What exactly are you talking about, Mark?” She was puzzled and scared that Mark might know about her health problem and would therefore stop coming to see her. “What is this all about?” She could hardly stand across from him, holding her hands around her waist as if to hold herself up from falling. “Is there something wrong that you are trying to tell me about?”

  “Yes, I am trying to make sure that you follow your doctors’ and Ljuba’s instructions if you wish to live. Ljuba has explained everything to me and she is worried that you are not taking the situation seriously enough. I have noticed that there was something going on with you and I have been trying to figure it out, unsuccessfully; but when Ljuba approached me about it, I knew that we must talk about it.”

  By now, Lucille had a good reason to get better, even if it meant just to be with him; and Mark was falling in love with her. So if the two of them were to have any future together and to hopefully get married someday, then Lucille must follow Ljuba’s advice seriously. This was a serious matter and it was to be dealt with accordingly.

  “Mark, I know that I can overcome this. I must! There is too much going on in my family for them to have to look after me as well.” But what she didn’t say was that with his help she could overcome anything. She knew very little about Mark or his family, other than that the Zantons were a very prominent family in Gradsko Selo. She had been too preoccupied with her own problems, her family problems, and her own lack of health. She had no time or energy to inquire about him or his family. The one thing that she was sure of was that she was in love with him. Her self-esteem was low, and rightfully so, for her whole life had been a continuous nightmare as far back as she
could remember — a nightmare of the sort from which people don’t often successfully recover. So in her own young and naïve mind, she felt that there was very little hope of any future between the two of them. But then, one can always hope and dream, can’t one?

  Lucille strongly believed that Ljuba was her guardian angel. The animals were also a spiritual support to her, as she had a connection with them. They helped her to relax and sometimes helped her to detach herself from family problems. There were times, when she was so ill, that she could easily have succumbed to dying; but Pepper would give her a look that only she and the dog understood. She would then perk up and for his sake ruffle the fur on his head as if to say, “What do you mean, ‘don’t die on me’? Yes, I know how much you need me, and I need you just as much, so let’s go and sit by the creek.” He would then scurry ahead of her with happiness.

  Mark was another story. As much as she loved him, she was at the same time afraid to even think of him as a future possibility or a future serious relationship. She had very little experience in dating. Besides, this gorgeous young man probably had all kinds of girls running after him, and soon he would forget to show up at the clinic. Naturally, that kind of thinking scared her plenty; but she still preferred to believe that Mark was the one for her.

  She would say to him, “Are you sure you want to put up with a girl who is not your type? Or let me put it this way: a girl who is not of your standing?” Then she would study his expression. Mark saw that Lucille was quickly gaining strength and was blossoming into quite a young lady.

  “Do you see me coming — or do you see me running away? Make up your mind, and let me make mine up. Okay?” Now it was his turn to study her.

  “Well, I have thought a lot about that, and since you keep coming, I have no complaints. But what about your family?” This was hard to say, but it had to be said sooner rather than later. “Will they be against us dating, or will they simply tell you to forget about me? You have to consider them — as your family they must come first.”

 

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