A Touch of Light

by Cilika Kunovic

“Things happen for a reason beyond our control.” Lucille was trying to be supportive. She knew that she had no reason to be afraid of losing him. “We need time, and that we have.”

  At times, young Magda exceeded even her mother with her attire at some parties. While that did not go down well, this was her baby and she was beautiful. As long as the best stayed in the family, there was no real harm. But now that Magda couldn’t stay at home to carry on with the family tradition, it was important for Mother to find the right girl for Mark, who would carry it on.

  But then, there was never enough time to dwell on anything too long. There was simply too much challenge and confusion in the house.

  Mark was certain that he was going to lose his mind before too long.

  Father Zanton enjoyed going to the vineyard, where he met with his old cronies and had a glass or two of wine. That always helped him soothe his mind from the everlasting commotion at home.

  Mother would say, “Martin, why you can’t control your own son? You ought to teach him what is proper for a family such as ours. The two of you get along well, so talk some sense into him.” Mother also blamed Monika for always doing her own thing and saying that she didn’t care about the family traditions.

  Father preferred the company of his good friends without being nagged by his wife.

  The vineyard was also where most of the good times took place. It was there where the whole family enjoyed being. This was a home away from home.

  Mark was doing some more analyzing. “Helena is always trying to please Mother, but in vain, and she always ends up agreeing with her. It is mostly to keep peace in the family. I don’t blame my father for keeping a long distance from trouble. However, when he says something in order to keep the family together, he stands firm, and nobody, not even Mother, dares to contradict him. I just wish that he would put his foot down on spending.”

  Mark was worried. He was happy to be able to tell someone and, by this time, Mark was spending plenty of time at Lucille’s place, which was why they were able to talk so freely. This was mainly after the work was done at his home. Lucille would cook him a fine meal, and he was able to eat in peace.

  Mark also often joined his father at the vineyard. There was always plenty of work to be done. They always had hired help, but the two of them worked the hardest. Father, while gentle with people, still had the final say about running the farm. Mother’s main mission was to stay on top of social matters, although she had quite successfully brought up their five children with some assistance from the hired help. The family reputation had to be upheld at any cost; all other things were her husband’s problems. She quite enjoyed seeing the children turning to him for stories and treats, as well as the grandchildren later on.

  Magda, who married Eric Kelsen, made sure that she married well, mostly so that she could compete with her mother regarding social status. It worked for her, and as much as it bothered her mother in some ways, she still preferred it this way. It was interesting how these striking beauties could clash one minute and then pool all their resources together when it came to socializing.

  Magda’s children also loved Grandpa and were quite involved with the other children when they were small. Once her son Karl and daughter Nesta started school, there was a change. Magda insisted that it had to be a private school, and when that entered the picture, it spelled the end of their childhood as they had known it.

  “No wonder they both ended up weird,” Mark stated with a heavy heart.

  “What do you mean?” Lucille inquired.

  “They were told that they were better than their cousins. They were different, yes, but far from better. Even Bruno, the family dog, was suspicious of them. Magda didn’t appreciate the children being licked by a dog with germs,” Mark continued. The rest of the family more or less overlooked her comments but Monika finally had enough of that acting. As it happened, the more she disliked things at home, the less she came, and that suited everyone just fine.

  “Martin, you are slowing down!” At the vineyard, his buddy Tom was being observant and in a teasing mood.

  “I don’t see you jumping around, come to think of it,” Father Zanton answered.

  “Now that we are on the subject of slowing down, when is Mark going to get married? He needs a wife, and I am sure that Veronika has a few girls lined up for him,” Tom added jokingly.

  “You know Mark. He is quite capable of finding himself a wife. In fact, he’s been seeing Lucille Kramer for quite some time. She is a fine girl with common sense and a good heart. Her sister Mira married young Mat Brune, and they are quite happy together.”

  “No kidding,” Tom replied.

  “What?” Stan burst into the conversation. But then he added, “What about Veronika — is she going to go along with this or is she getting all riled up as usual?”

  “Now, what makes you think that my wife would object to the union?”

  “Because I know her, that’s why.”

  “Yes, yes, she is quite unhappy about it. I don’t know why,” Father Zanton confessed.

  These were his best buddies, with whom he was able to talk about Martin, and they helped him deal with his loss. Therefore, he was more at ease with reality than his beloved wife, who was never the one to deal with pain. She had spent most of her life in denial about matters with which she didn’t agree. She loved him, all right, and the children as well, but all her life she was afraid of competition of any kind. She felt that she had to be the first and the best. He was the only one who understood the woman.

  “Mother is set in her ways more than she is ever willing to admit. Everyone gets fooled by her behaviour. Her competitive nature keeps her trapped. She is always competing for the top position, and at the same time she is missing out on all the good things. Father has explained this to me time and time again.”

  “Like, for instance, why not relax and accept your choice of who you wish to marry, right?” Lucille was trying to help. “Mark, we don’t have to rush into anything. Sometimes I feel safer being in my own home, rather than being somewhere where I am not welcome. I will always love you and no one else, but this situation is not helping anybody. I don’t want you all torn up and hating your mother for not allowing you to marry me. She is a mother and mothers can be pretty stubborn when it comes to their children. I can recall my own mother being much the same about Joe marrying Katherine. She didn’t forbid it, but she suffered quietly . . .”

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  Helena

  MARK’S SISTER HELENA STILL LIVED AT HOME, working hard and putting up with Mother and Magda. When she was a little girl, she had enjoyed spending time alone. She would pick flowers and bring them to her mother, hoping that she would appreciate the token, and the flowers would soften her up. Or she could be heard singing while feeding the chickens in the morning. Cooking was another one of her favourites. She was good at school and enjoyed the company of her classmates. As a teenager, she felt awkward around other boys once she realized that they were not all like her brothers.

  There was a big difference between the sisters in how they dealt with the boys. Monika acted as if she were one of them, Magda wanted their undivided attention, and Helena . . .

  “I was so used to having boys around the house that I never paid much attention to the difference between my brothers and the other local boys; that is, until later, when I became a teenager, and the boys started looking at me in a different way. It took me a while to acknowledge the difference even to myself, but there it was, and I soon accepted it as one of those things,” Helena laughed later on. “I liked them, all right, but there was so much going on at home, and there were always parties and socializing.” People were coming and going to and from the house all the time, so nobody had time to be lonely.

  Shortly before Helena finished school, she started seeing someone. His name was David. Knowing that David was qu
ite a bit older than her, she postponed telling her parents about it.

  “You realize that you will sooner or later have to tell them about David, if you wish to even have a chance of a relationship with him,” Monika said, alarmed. She was not at all impressed by him. However, she had her own problems, and none of them wanted to present the news to Mother, much less to Magda.

  During the war, when everything was in an upheaval, and people worried more about the outcome of the war than other problems, Helena mentioned David to her parents.

  Mother’s response was predictable: “Helena, I have no time to investigate your boyfriends, much less worry about your dating, and possibly dating the wrong one. You have always been wise and patient, so leave us out of it for now.”

  Everything was being centred on Martin and the war. Mother was getting more and more irritated with everybody. On the one hand, she was proud of Martin, but on the other hand, she was petrified of losing him — and rightfully so.

  Then, when tragedy struck, nobody had any time for private reasoning. The feeling of such loss was hollow and painful, which led to sadness and resentment.

  Shortly after that, Helena felt that Mother was complaining compulsively. There was a non-stop echo in the house, and they were all aware that she would not last much longer if she continued in this way.

  “Mother, you have to stop this constant complaining and self-destruction or you will end up with a stroke, insanity, or both,” Monika warned her. “You are pushing all of us aside and forcing yourself into the grave. You are not alone in grieving, but you are alone in demanding attention and you know it.”

  Father Zanton stood by her with a lot of understanding. He loved his wife and let her know it.

  Mother Zanton eventually met David and she disapproved of him.

  “Helena, the man is too old for you and he is flamboyant, arrogant, rude, dishonest, and, in all probability, unfaithful. You must be out of your mind.” Mother was furious.

  “Mother, you say that about people 75 percent of the time,” Helena protested. But things went from bad to worse. This brought Mark and Helena much closer, since their mother said bad things about Lucille as well, starting when she found out that Mark wanted to marry her. These young people were so used to their mother’s criticism that they discarded her opinions even when they should not. So, first it was Lucille, and now David. Helena loved her brother, but she had been previously coached by her mother and sisters against Lucille.

  “First it was Lucille and now it is David who is not in your favour. Mother, we are not your possessions. We are people and we can think for ourselves.” Helena was determined to win this one.

  “Why don’t you both give it some time and see what happens?” Monika stepped in.

  Unfortunately, their mother had been right as far as David was concerned.

  Mark tried not to get involved, as he happened to agree with his mother on this one. This went on for quite some time, back and forth. Neither Helena nor her mother would give in. In the meantime, David enjoyed his escapades, without Helena having any knowledge of them. Mark was told by people he knew to warn his sister about this womanizer who was pretending to be her boyfriend and was at the same time being seen with other not-so-nice women. Unfortunately, love can be blind.

  Helena and David usually went to church on Sunday morning. Then after that, they would go to the vineyard or somewhere else for a picnic. While at the vineyard, they often met up with Mark and Lucille.

  Mark said to Lucille, “I have such a bad feeling about David. I can’t sleep, but I can’t bring myself to talk to Helena about it.”

  “This is totally unfair to Helena; and yet, you should be the last person to say anything,” Lucille said.

  Unfortunately, Mark’s premonitions were soon proven to be right. No one wanted to hurt Helena’s feelings but they all knew that David had been seen in the company of another girl very recently. However, trying to tell someone who is in love that she is making a big mistake is a certain way of making enemies on both sides. She will become even more determined about that person, even if only to cover up for her own suspicions or to hide her embarrassment. This case was no exception. But Helena deserved better. She had the looks and personality to attract other suitors who would treat her with respect. She loved children and was crazy about Monika’s — she spoiled them whenever they came to the house, which was often. If it wasn’t Grandpa Zanton, then it was Auntie Helena. They were taken sleigh riding in the winter and horseback riding in the summer.

  “I dream of having lots of children when I get married,” Helena often said.

  “Just you wait till you have children. I have every intention of spoiling them,” Monika warned her.

  Helena had dated before, but mostly acquaintances from neutral parties at home. At the Zantons’, it was easy to meet people from all walks of life. But when she first met David, he was handsome and was not interested in her at all, as he was with someone else. He appeared to be charming and worldly. He knew how to mingle with people. She also noticed that he danced well. He left an impression on her that she was unable to shake. They had met very briefly, but she hoped to see him again. The second time she saw him was at the church.

  Then, when the firefighters had their New Year’s dance, she wore a nice dress in case he showed up. “I hope David is coming to the dance!”

  Boris tried to warn Monika. “I am telling you, this guy doesn’t know what he wants and he never sticks around long enough to make sense. If she is that smitten with him, I hope he doesn’t show up. He is bad news.” But he showed up, and, as expected, he and Helena danced a lot that night.

  “I am in love!” Helena pulled her sister aside and she was ecstatic. After that night, she saw him only occasionally but hoped to see him more often . . . Somehow, he always claimed to be busy. Work and family kept him away a lot. So things did not go as well as Helena had hoped. She could not understand why the man wasn’t more interested in her.

  “Helena, you are wrongly infatuated with this man. I sincerely hope that you are not going to be hurt by this guy, whom you don’t know very well.” Monika had heard about David from Boris, who knew more about the man, and it wasn’t good.

  At first he had kept saying, “Your sister deserves better.” Then he finally told Monika what he meant by that.

  Helena came to her own defence. She was getting angrier by the minute. “What is it with you, Monika, that you seem to have quite a dislike for David? What has he done to you?

  “I think Mother has something to do with this. Perhaps David was a bit intimidated by her, or she is meddling as usual,” she complained to Monika.

  Mother had him checked out and did not approve of his reputation as a philanderer. In fact, she didn’t think that he was good enough for her daughter. The question was how to tell Helena in such a way that she would accept it.

  Mark managed to arrange a meeting between him, Lucille, and Helena the following Sunday at the vineyard. The intention was to make Helena feel better about the whole affair, since they all knew what was going on. However, as Sunday approached, Mother announced, “I want you all to come to the house on Sunday after the church service.” That was fine with Helena, since she had not been feeling well lately and blamed it all on the situation with David. Something was not right, there.

  On the one hand, she wanted to break off with him because her common sense told her that she should tell him to take a hike; but her heart told her different. Therefore, she was in a real turmoil. She just didn’t feel well and she was experiencing severe headaches.

  “I want all of you to be there, and that includes Lucille as well as David, so we can clear up some things.” Mother was adamant.

  “I wonder what that is all to be about.” Monika was trying to soften the blow ahead of time.

  With them all seated around the table, Mother Zanton began, “Now that we are
all here — ” And before she could continue, Helena excused herself, claiming her headache was too severe to sit and listen. Mother Zanton exploded in a rage. Only this time, she failed to be the centre of attention, as Helena collapsed on the floor and went into convulsions. Needless to say, everyone soon forgot about the so-called “meeting.”

  Helena had suffered a massive stroke. She was to be hospitalized for a long time and was paralyzed on one side of her body. Not much improvement was to be expected. That being said, no one was to be blamed for it, as these unexpected things, as tragic as they might seem, are meant to be.

  “Mrs. Zanton, I am Dr. Lenard and I have been on this case right from the beginning. I am sorry about your daughter’s unfortunate situation. However, we are hoping that she will come out of her comatose state soon. Her body is responding quite well, but it will take a while for her brain to remake the necessary contacts in order to trigger any physical movements.”

  “Are you hopeful that she will succeed in coming around to that?” Mother was pleading.

  “At the moment, we don’t know just how much damage has been done. As I said, we are hopeful.”

  “Can you tell us what the first signs of improvement would be?”

  “It would help if her eyes started showing some signs of awareness; but that is not the only — and not always the first — sign of improvement. It is hard to say. We are doing all we can.”

  “This can’t be happening to our family. Haven’t we suffered enough?” Mother was saying.

  “Mother, you must go home for your own sake. Father and I will stay with Helena, and as soon as there is any news at all, we will let you know.” Mark was gently prodding her to go home and get some rest.

  “I thought you might want some company.” Lucille arrived and offered them coffee, or whatever they might wish for. “I can stay with you for as long as you need me. Ljuba is giving me time off.” They all knew that it would be a long struggle, and it affected them all. This time, they pulled together as a family should.