A Touch of Light

by Cilika Kunovic

  In the meantime, Ivan took some time off from his work to help Mark in any way he could.

  “What are you doing here, dressed like that?” Mark asked Ivan.

  “I am here to do some decent work for a change. And if you don’t think I can do it, just watch me.”

  “What about your shop?”

  “You just mind your own business and let me worry about mine, all right?”

  “As you wish, but don’t complain if things get to you.” At which point they both laughed.

  “You know, you wouldn’t have as many problems if you didn’t hurry so much — it makes you accident prone. You create more problems for yourself than you can handle,” teased Ivan.

  “Helping us doesn’t give you the right to boss me around, you know.”

  “You think this is bossing? Just wait till Vera gets a bit older; she will do all the bossing around here.”

  “Oh, I already know that. She is busy bossing her brother and sister for the time being.”

  “I know. Lucille made me watch them. She is a born leader. Poor Mark and Marie.”

  Lucille was feeling more and more comfortable as a Zanton. Why not? She had earned every bit of that privilege. As far as she was concerned, her children were perfect. Especially, since they were so healthy. “I know that I am getting on, as far as childbearing years are concerned, so this is enough for me. How do you feel about it, Mark?” She was trying to ease the pressure.

  “Oh, Lucille, the children have nothing to do with my clumsiness. I am just me. Unfortunately, little Mark seems to have taken after me, and that is a bit of a worry.”

  “Yes, and Vera is his biggest obstacle, trying to prevent him from killing himself!”

  “We do have great kids, and I promise you we will be all right. Father has been reprimanding me for putting so much pressure on you. I will ask Dr. Loncar what can be done,” Mark added.

  If only world affairs were more stable. The big Depression was still at its height, and the mood of the world was at its low point. It made one feel quite uneasy.

  But Lucille had little time to worry about that. “Marie, you are going to get yourself killed if you don’t stop climbing on anything and everything. And don’t pull Bruno’s hair. He will bite you one of these days.”

  “I think it is out of love,” Helena observed. “I have seen Bruno moving out of her way in order to avoid her. So therefore, you don’t need to worry about him biting her.”

  “Helena, I am more worried that she will bite him. Have you seen how the cats are hissing at her? She is afraid of nothing. The cats swat at her, and she gets a bit bewildered at first but then she proceeds to do it again.” They both laughed, and Helena felt a connection between the two of them that she never felt before. She had always wanted to be like Lucille.

  “I am sure none of it is done in menace. She is a sheer delight,” Helena defended the little one.

  “Yes, I agree . . . those little darlings are all delightful, especially when Vera gets them all on the ‘stage’ to perform, don’t you think?”

  Mira and her family often joined the Zantons, and Ivan never hesitated to pop in to surprise them. He would pick up little Mark . . . not that he had a choice — the boy simply jumped up like a spring and gave him a big hug. Ivan was crazy about the boy.

  “Father is going to put me on a horse again and we are going to ride him.” Mark’s eyes simply shone even talking about the two of them working with the horses.

  Grandpa Zanton would watch these episodes, and tears would fill his eyes. He wished that Mother had lived to enjoy all of this. So, in his own way, he told her all about it.

  But there was a great deal of unrest in the world. It seemed almost certain that there would be another war.

  “I worry about the possibility of another war,” Grandpa warned his son. “I still have a void in my heart from the first war and I’m sure you do, too.”

  “I consider us fortunate. We have food and shelter here at home, and our children are healthy. Let’s just hope that things will settle down and this talk of war will stop,” Mark said gently.

  “I don’t believe this,” Lucille announced.

  “Believe what?” Mark was worried.

  “Don’t take this the wrong way, Mark, but I think I am pregnant again, and with a possible war coming, what are we going to do? Besides, if there is a war, then I most certainly won’t hear from Joe ever again.” She was in a total panic by now. Joe did send a letter to Mark and Lucille shortly after they were married, but with no details about his life.

  “He did send that letter after we were married, remember?”

  “He never was a good communicator but at that point he likely didn’t want anybody to know about his miserable life. I hope I am wrong about that.”

  “I wonder how much he ever knew about you. Do you think he got your letters?” Mark added.

  One day, out of the blue, Ksenia came to visit.

  “Ksenia, I hardly recognized you.” Lucille was shocked. “What brings you here all of a sudden?”

  “My grandparents have passed away and I decided to move into the city.”

  “Yes, well, that still doesn’t answer my question to you, my dear.” Lucille had a hard time standing on her feet. She had to sit down in order to be able to talk calmly.

  “Life in the city is not for me. I had some extra time and decided to pay you a visit. I see you are expecting again?”

  “What do you mean by ‘again’? I wasn’t aware that you knew anything about us. So tell me a bit about yourself.”

  “I know that you always wanted to communicate with me regarding my father. At first, I wasn’t allowed to get in touch with you; and later, I didn’t want to have anything to do with my father. So there was nothing to tell you.”

  “But Ksenia, I still want to talk about your father. I have a million questions about him, because he didn’t write to us. Can we talk about him now?” Lucille felt faint.

  “Well, I don’t. I’d better be going. It was nice seeing you, Lucille.” And she was gone. She never asked about Mira or Ivan. No wonder she was a loner.

  As Lucille stared at Ksenia, looking so much like her mother, she felt uneasy and speechless. But she was happy to see her and she soon discovered what a well-educated girl she was, thanks to her grandparents, who had the money to do that for her. But somehow even that did not bring her happiness.

  She was unwilling to listen to Lucille or talk about the whole situation. Had she co-operated, she might have heard the Kramers’ side of the story. Who knows what her grandparents had told her when she was small. Children are likely to believe anything while they are at a vulnerable age.

  Lucille felt ill after that meeting. Helena was the one to comment on it.

  “Are you feeling all right? You look like you have seen a ghost.”

  “I have. Guess who was here a minute ago and left just as quickly?”

  “I am sure I have no idea.”

  “Ksenia showed up to pay me a visit. At first, I almost didn’t recognize her; but then, before I got a chance to talk with her in a relaxed manner, she refused to listen to anything I had to say and she left. I am telling you, if this had happened when I was alone at home, I would probably think that it was some sort of hallucination.” Lucille was still shaking.

  She was getting weary and big with this pregnancy, and her back had been bothering her for quite some time. It was high time to have this baby and get organized so that everybody would be back on track once again. It was springtime. The month of May is full of blossoms, plenty of sunshine, green grass, new beginnings, and hope. Little Marie could not understand why her mother wasn’t running after her much these days. The hired help were totally in charge of chores such as running after the children and keeping them safe. They were a handful, and Lucille was hoping for her time to come soon.
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  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  Leni

  IN MAY OF 1935, LENI WAS BORN. She was chubby and remained that way for most of her life. She was a healthy and very good-natured baby. Needless to say, she was now the one who was getting the most attention.

  “What happened to another boy, my dear?” Mark teased his wife. “Were we not supposed to have another boy? I guess we missed on this one.”

  “If you know what is good for you, there will be no further comments on that subject,” Lucille replied.

  “But I am sure I ordered a boy from the stork.”

  “Jagica, if you don’t hit him, then I will have to.”

  Mark lay beside his beloved Lucille and gently kissed her on the cheek.

  “Oh, well, I guess we are not perfect after all. I love you!”

  Mat and Mira had three children by now, and the youngest was one year old. The two sisters remained close and enjoyed comparing the children. There was a lot of work for both of them but they still found time to socialize between the two families. After all, what good is life if you can’t pull yourself away from work long enough to enjoy your own children? Lucille often sang to them.

  Vera appointed herself in charge of the children whenever she could. Little Mark sort of tolerated her; Marie couldn’t figure out why she no longer came first; and Leni enjoyed attention from all of them. Even Bruno took to Leni and would guard her crib as often as he was allowed to.

  “I just wish that I could lift her and hug her, but she is a big girl and I am scared of dropping her.” Grandpa would stand by the crib and watch her smiling. He would clap his hands and she would try to do the same, missing at times. They were quite a sight to see, and this happened often.

  “When will the christening take place?” Grandpa asked Mark.

  “As soon as we can get most of the family together, as usual,” Mark replied.

  On those occasions, Grandpa watched all of them, and you could see that he was slowly saying goodbye in his own way. He seemed content. However, it was evident that he was not willing to go through the war that seemed to be looming on the horizon. He was visibly aging right in front of them.

  “There is one thing that I remember with the fondest of memories, and that is the singing in the summer outside in front of the house, under the tree. It didn’t matter who was there or what age they were, all were welcome and all ended up singing. Your singing voice and your willingness got all this started,” he told Lucille.

  “I never knew you enjoyed singing that much, Grandpa.”

  “Keep it that way, will you?”

  “I promise! And you can help us as well. I know that the children feel happier that way.”

  The Zantons had become the so-called “singing family” in the village. Other people often joined in, either in the evenings or on the weekends.

  Grandpa always encouraged those occasions, and the children always joined even if just to clap to the beat of the songs. Little Leni wanted to be on her mother’s lap during those times and tried to clap. She could not do it right just yet. There were hits and misses, but she loved the good times. As soon as the singing stopped, she would ask for more by clapping, and everyone laughed. She would cling to her mother. Even Mark didn’t qualify. This was hard on Lucille, but somehow, things like that must not be stopped, as they bring the best of times in people’s lives.

  As much as Lucille was bubbly, her sister Mira was the opposite, very quiet. Lucille had many ideas for both families and was full of enthusiasm. With her children in tow, she could do anything. However, after Leni was born, she could not shake her back problems and so she became more housebound.

  “Lucille, have a coffee with me, will you?” Grandpa would offer.

  “Oh, Grandpa, I have so much to do, and it isn’t going to get done if I don’t do it.”

  “That is not so. The girls will take care of it. Right, Anna?” That always worked for him. Everybody wanted to please the old man and their master. They adored him.

  “Anna, where is Leni, do you know?” Lucille asked. “She was here a minute ago and the next thing she is gone.” As she was saying that, she walked outside and found Leni in front of the house, surrounded by chickens and helping them eat their food. “Never mind, she is here.”

  By this time, Anna was there as well, and Helena heard Lucille speaking, so she also looked outside.

  “Oh my goodness, Leni, what are you doing? That food is not for you, it is for the chickens.” The women laughed to tears. The child had helped herself to the food, and everybody knew that Leni had no problem eating anything.

  Ivan often held the little girls up in his arms and made them laugh. “Children have this magic — they make you feel so good. I often think that they are the best therapy.” But little Mark Jr. was by far his favourite. That little boy had charm and willingness, much like Ivan himself.

  Ivan continued skiing and climbing. His ambitions seemed to escalate as if he were trying to capture something. He was trying to reach for the stars as if to make up for the void in his life. He married a woman from a nearby village. Her name was May. He seemed reasonably happy with her, but because of epilepsy in her family, they had decided not to have any children.

  “Ivan, don’t forget to take some goodies with you,” Lucille reminded him before he left.

  “Oh, yes, I certainly will.”

  “Give me a minute and I will get it all together.”

  “Oh, no you won’t. I will get it ready. Just tell me what to give him, as he brought the nicest shoes for the children again,” Anna interrupted. She was always available to Lucille.

  There were many exchanges between Lucille and Ivan. On the other hand, Mira never had that kind of relationship with him. Not that they didn’t get along; but Mat and his parents would never have allowed Mira to give her brother gifts such as the ones Lucille exchanged with him. And Mira, being who she was and what she was like, kept up the Brune family tradition.

  She knew that she had a good life and wanted to leave it at that.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

  Worse Things to Come

  MIRA WAS KNOWN TO COMMENT that Lucille lived in Gradsko Selo, in a castle of her own. The two sisters always complimented each other. However, if the truth be told, the house that Mira lived in had a more solid appearance with its own history, whereas Lucille’s home had more character and a greater family history. The girls had grown up in a very small but pretty bungalow, which had to be sold after Lucille and Mark were married.

  “With all due respect, I have some good memories of our home, but there were more bad ones at the end,” Mira reminisced. “But home is home and it remains just that.”

  “My bad ones keep drowning the good ones. Don’t take me wrong, but I can live with the memories of our family easier than with the house itself. I sure miss Mother the most,” Lucille responded.

  Mark would tell Lucille about some things that were quite comical about the villagers. He would start by telling her what used to happen. “In the olden days, when the guys were dating girls, they would often go under their window and sing to them. And for the most part, this was quite harmless. But on some occasions, the father or even a brother would distract or even scare the lover away, if the parents didn’t approve of him. This was embarrassing, and he got teased about it, or he and his friends would take revenge on the father and go and turn his outhouse upside down.” There were a lot of those around on the farms back then.

  “I remember hearing about that but I didn’t believe it. Don’t forget that it was Ivan who told me about it and I felt that he was just trying to be entertaining.”

  “Knowing him and your brother Joe, it wouldn’t surprise me if they were in on that at times,” Mark teased. “Joe especially needed some sort of release, while working with your father, don’t you think?” They laughed.

 
These talks were always good and deepened their bond.

  But all around them, there were speculations of worse things to come. Hitler and his Nazis were getting stronger, and the Jewish people were by now becoming quite the target. The Nazis were determined to eradicate them. The hounding of them began way before the war started, and those who were able to left the country, taking with them as much as they could or were allowed to take. Many fled to different countries; they were the fortunate ones. Those who were forced out of the country later were not as fortunate and could take very little with them. This went on for years. The uncertainty of the war lingered and threatened them all, and deep down, they were all aware that things had not looked good for some time now.

  “The Depression years have left a bad mark on us. I dread to think what is coming next.”

  “I know, Mark. I am just as afraid of what is next as you are,” Lucille added.

  “As you know, this village got its name after the castle that is set just a bit higher, on a hill overlooking the village. We must go there if you haven’t seen it yet. There are four houses right by the castle.”

  “Did you ever meet any of the people who live there?”

  “No, but Martin and I often went near it as kids.”

  “Did you ever ask anyone about them?” Lucille was curious.

  “I know that after the First World War, some far descendants of the Austrian Royalty lived there.”

  “You guys were quite brazen as young boys, weren’t you?”

  “Yes, we were, I suppose. Helena and Magda were more feminine. There was a fancy carriage available for their use if needed in the summer; in the winter, we had a wagon sled. So that transportation was never an issue. As for Monika, she preferred to stick with us boys and she enjoyed the outdoors with us. Country life can’t be compared to city living.”

  “I know about most of these things from others but I enjoy listening to you telling me about everything.”

  “Were you not allowed to go and see these wonders?” Mark asked.