Alexa O'Brien 05 - Death Wish

by Trina M. Lee

  That was it right there. Shya’s angle. I was the perfect mix of monster and human. Just enough monster to give me the power he desired, and just enough human for him to exploit my emotions to control me.

  “No,” I ground out through clenched teeth. “We’re not lovers.”

  “Kale’s devotion to you suggests otherwise.” With a raised brow and a pointed look, Shya made it painfully clear that he knew he had me on this one.

  I was uncomfortable with so many sets of eyes on me. I let my wolf stare out, into Shya. If I looked at Arys or Kale, I’d fall to pieces. “There must be another way. I’m not making some shady deal with you.”

  Slowly he shook his head. The depths of his red eyes were void of any emotion. Did Shya even feel true emotion? Doubtful.

  “I’m afraid those are your only options. Don’t worry, Alexa. I promise not to kill you. You are far more valuable to me alive.”

  My temper flared. I had underestimated Shya. I had fully believed him to be capable of such cold, calculated manipulation. Yet, I never gave him credit for how clever he was. I was backed into a corner, forced to commit to a choice that I would regret either way. Condemn Kale to death for doing the right thing, or owe Shya in his place.

  “Alexa,” Kale said my name like it was glass in his mouth. A cough racked him, and he spat blood. “Don’t let him do this to you. Let him kill me. It’s my choice.”

  “You heard the man,” Arys’s murmur was so faint, I wasn’t sure if it had been said out loud or something he whispered in my head.

  I rounded on him with a deadly glare, all fangs and claws. Neither of them was making this decision for me. I shoved past Shya and knelt before Kale where he sat broken and weary on his knees in the grass.

  An uncharacteristic dullness shaded his beautiful brown and blue eyes. His energy was weak as if it had been stripped from him. Not only was that unbearably painful, it was psychically dangerous. He needed blood.

  For the first time in weeks, I breached the unspoken wall we’d built. With a shaky hand, I reached to smooth the blood soaked hair off Kale’s forehead. I lingered, running my fingers gently down his face.

  “I’m not going to let you die. Not because of me. Don’t ask me to make that happen.”

  “You need to walk away right now and let me go.” He reached to touch the cross around my neck, and I jerked at the ice-cold caress of his fingertips as they grazed my flesh.

  I felt Arys’s light touch on my mind. He said nothing, but clearly made his presence known. I hated that this moment had to happen in front of him. I hated that it had to happen at all.

  “I’m not doing that.” I shook my head sadly. I wasn’t ready to face these feelings. “I won’t.”

  Weakened as he was, Kale still had no problem getting mad. “Dammit, Alexa. Don’t kid yourself. We’ll both regret it, you more so than I. Walk away.”

  His tone was firm. Serious. He just might hate me for what I was about to do. There was a good chance he wouldn’t be the only one.

  “I’m sorry, but your death can never be by my hand.”

  “I fucked up, Alexa. It’s not your problem. Walk away.”

  “Stop saying that!” I stood quickly and clenched my hands into fists. My long claws cut into the palms of my hands.

  I turned to Arys, finding him closed off. With arms crossed, he fixed me with a disaffected stare. He gave the impression that he didn’t care. It was a lie.

  ‘I have to do it.’ I pushed the thought to Arys. ‘I can’t live with his blood on my hands.’

  Arys merely stared, silent and grave.

  Falon feigned a dramatic yawn. Checking his non-existent watch for the time, he loudly declared, “At this rate, the sun will rise, and there won’t be a decision to make.”

  “Feel free to leave,” I snarled. The pressure was mounting, and I was buckling beneath it.

  “And miss this? Not a chance. I want to see you cave.”

  Shya held up a hand and gave Falon a look. To me he said, “Alexa. Your choice?”

  One last try. I had to. “There has to be another way. You’ve made your point, Shya.” I wasn’t going to beg, but the temptation was there.

  He moved fast, a blur of black. He grabbed Kale in a bone-shattering grip, holding his head at a dangerous angle. That was the only answer I was going to get.

  “No!” My shriek echoed through the night. For a split second, all I could hear was the pounding of my heart in my ears. The fallen body of the dreamwalker was a very real example of how ruthless Shya was. I still didn’t know the poor kid’s name.

  Shya released Kale and held his hands out in expectation. This was it, now or never. Kale stared up at me with a silent plea. I couldn’t bring myself to give him what he asked for. If I didn’t act now, I never would, and Shya would make my choice for me.

  “Fine. I’ll do it.” My fate was sealed the moment the words passed my lips. “Now let me help Kale. He needs blood.”

  “By all means.” If Shya’s smile got any bigger, it was going to become the scariest thing I’d seen all night.

  I watched him cautiously, unwilling to take my eyes from the demon. I reached for Kale, and he tried uselessly to push me away. It took great effort in his weakened state.

  “No, Alexa. Leave me. I’ll be fine.” He slumped over on the grass, unable to stay upright.

  I knelt close and pulled him into my arms. Anger flashed in his eyes, but he didn’t have the strength to do anything about it. Shoving my hair aside, I bared my neck and offered it to him. His hunger sparked to life. Still, he resisted.

  “Do it, Kale. You’ll never make it out of here on your own if you don’t. I’m not leaving you for the sun.”

  I had watched a vampire burn in the sun, and it had instilled a deep fear within me. When I rose as a vampire, as I was bound to, I’d vowed to never screw with sunrise.

  His hunger was palpable. His reasons for refusing were likely personal, none of which mattered right now. I reached out to drape him in my heady power, luring him in like I had so many times before.

  Kale’s eyes widened, and I saw accusation in their depths. I might as well have been forcing a syringe filled with heroin on a junkie. Kale had a weakness for my blood and the power within it. What had weakened him before would strengthen him now, and I wasn’t going to feel guilty about using my influence over him.

  My eyes locked on Arys. He had moved closer, drawn by the power I’d encircled Kale with. The expression he wore was hard to read. The fire behind me was reflected in his blue eyes. I held his gaze, waiting for him to do something, anything to stop this. He only watched in silence as I offered my neck to Kale.

  With a ravenous hunger, Kale pulled me roughly against him, exerting the strength only bloodlust commanded. He was lost in my thrall, a victim to my influence.

  With that vicious hunger, he bit into my neck, tearing a cry from me. He pulled back and bit again, fast and deep. Panic thrilled through me in response to his animalistic assault.

  I couldn’t tear my gaze from Arys who watched with a hard set to his jaw. He didn’t make eye contact with me. Instead, he watched Kale spill my blood. Arys’s expression was guarded, and he had withdrawn his touch from my mind.

  Kale drew on my blood and energy, which I freely gave. Pain throbbed from the wounds like fire racing down my neck into my back. As much as it hurt, there was a gratifying element to his bite. My power had wanted Kale for some time. In that moment, he was mine.

  The chill of his mouth on my injured skin swept me up in a storm of desire. I didn’t want to react to him like this, and certainly not in front of anyone else. His lust for me sprang to life, and I feasted upon his desire, responding to his hunger for my blood and body. At least Arys’s presence kept me grounded; I was grateful for that.

  Kale pressed against me as he fed. There was no mistaking the evidence of his growing arousal. The power swirled around us, taunting us with the promise of more. A delightful tingle started in my groin. I ached to ha
ve him nestled between my thighs again.

  I was shaking and breathless. We fed upon each other in a sordid little tango. He drained my blood, and I feasted on his response to my power. However, blood loss had my head spinning; I had to stop him.

  With both hands on his chest, I braced, ready to physically throw him off. “Kale, stop.” My words were a lie. Even as I said it, I was entertaining thoughts of throwing him down on the grass beneath us and taking him the way I longed to.

  Applause broke the spell holding us entwined. Kale jerked away from me as if my touch had burned. I collapsed on my hands and knees, digging my fingers into the earth in an attempt to ground my energy and get control of myself.

  Falon clapped, slow and dramatic. My vision swam as I tried to focus on him. I was thrumming with the heavy charge of what I’d just done. Surreal.

  Blood dripped from the bites in my neck as well as from my nose. Great. I’d never hear the end of this from Arys. I was afraid to look at him. Did he hate me for this? He had to understand that I couldn’t simply let Kale die.

  White noise roared in my ears. I stared at the ground and concentrated on the earth. Sharing power and blood with Kale was nothing like my union with Arys. They were worlds apart. Arys was part of me, but Kale was mine.

  I shook my head, hating myself for feeling that way. It didn’t matter now. Shya had made an agreement. He had to hold up his end. Kale was safe and that was what mattered right then.

  The familiar touch of Arys was welcome when he picked me up off the ground. He held me upright until I was steady on my feet. Without saying a word, he smoothed the hair back from my face and swiped a gentle hand through the blood trickling from my nose. The dismay was heavy in his eyes.

  Kale leaned back against a headstone, about as far as he could get from me without leaving the property. His eyes were wide and his pupils huge. Already most of his wounds from Falon’s beating had healed.

  “Impressive,” Falon commented lazily.

  I turned my attention to Shya. He was staring at Kale with interest. His gaze darted to me, and I knew by the intrigue on his face that my eyes were Arys’s startling blue.

  Shya stepped up close with a sweep of wings. He peered into me as if searching for something specific. I glared hard, biting back the nasty remark dancing on the tip of my tongue.

  “I’d hate to have another incident with the two of you. In all honesty, I’m fond of you both.” Shya referred to Kale with a dismissive gesture. “When you start being more trouble than you’re worth, things get ugly. I’ll consider this matter closed. However, I expect you will supply me with a dreamwalker, seeing as I am quite obviously still in need of one.”

  Staring into the cold red eyes of a ruthless demon, I was left between a rock and a hard place. This wasn’t the time to argue his terms. It was ludicrous of him to demand that I find him a dreamwalker but refusal would get me killed.

  Against my instinct, I nodded. “Fine. Whatever. Can I leave now?”

  In a swift motion, Shya grabbed my hand, sealing the deal. His touch burned as flames rose up to engulf my arm. I shrieked. The pain was intense and unbearable. He released me quickly, and the fire vanished. Smoke rose from my arm. I stared in shock at the dragon burned into my skin. It wrapped around my wrist with its tail curled onto the back of my hand and its head rested on the inside of my forearm. It appeared to grip my arm with its clawed feet. Reptilian wings flared out from its back.

  “What the friggin hell did you do to me?” I demanded, yelping again from the searing pain. It was leaps and bounds worse than Kale’s vicious bite.

  Shya stepped back, his expression grim. “I merely sealed the deal with my sigil. Bring me a dreamwalker, and I’ll remove it. Try to cross me, and it allows me to find you and deliver justice. Don’t worry. It won’t burn for long.”

  He turned his back on us all and returned to the sordid party taking place around the fire. Cloaked by his massive black wings, he looked more like a monster to me now than he ever had. Falon had disappeared in silence. Good riddance.

  I was left shaken and horrified. Staring at the burning, swelling dragon, I was torn between bursting into tears and raging after Shya in a fit of wolf’s fury. Neither would bring me satisfaction, and the latter would leave me next to the dead woman by the fire.

  Kale was gone. He was little more than a shadow moving through the graveyard.

  Arys examined my arm, careful not to touch Shya’s mark. With a frustrated sigh, he pulled me close and pressed his lips to my forehead. “Oh, my reckless wolf. And, you say you don’t have a death wish.”

  Chapter Fourteen

  I stared up at the sign above the front door of The Wicked Kiss and sighed. Every night, every new twist in the chaotic tale of my life led me back here. Fuck it. It had whiskey.

  It was late. The club was closed to the public for the coming day – sunrise was just a few hours away – but the building was by no means empty. The party never really stopped; it just changed.

  I could feel the energy pulsing inside. I knew Kale would come here. He wasn’t going to be content with what he’d taken from me. Before he was lost in a blood-drunk haze, I needed to see him, if only to make sure he wasn’t going to do anything stupid.

  Arys was furious with me in that severe, quiet manner that reveals a far deeper anger than if he’d just yelled. His refusal to accompany me inside served to emphasize further his seething rage. Despite my attempt to assure him I would be fast, he had muttered obscenities beneath his breath and slipped off into the dark to prowl for a victim to take the edge off.

  I understood that need now. It was the only time I found peace anymore. Every time my world started to come apart, the promise of freedom in the kill taunted me. The pull was getting harder and harder to resist, and I was starting to ask myself why I bothered when madness held the promise of liberation.

  The crowd had thinned down to a dozen or so. Those who would pass the day screwing and bleeding were already in the den of debauchery in the back. I did not intend to go back there.

  The darkened atmosphere was welcoming, inviting me to slip through the shadows like so many others had tonight. We all sought something here. Escape from pain, hunger, loneliness. What we would never find was solace. Mine stood across the room, nuzzling the throat of a convenient redhead he had pressed against the wall.

  Kale’s head snapped up as he sensed me. I turned away quickly, cowardice quickening my pace. Sliding in behind the unmanned bar, I helped myself to a bottle of whiskey. Sure. Why not? Who needs a stinkin’ glass anyway?

  As the first swallow of whiskey burned its way down my throat, I risked a glance around. Kale’s lady friend rubbed herself against him provocatively. I didn’t want to watch, didn’t want to feel the bitter bite of jealousy. He wasn’t mine. I knew that on a conscious level, but deep within me, I didn’t believe it. Wrong. So wrong.

  Feeling my gaze upon him, Kale turned in time to catch me staring. Shit. With a stony expression, he grabbed the redhead’s hand and led her through the club to the back hall. They disappeared beyond, and I burned with misplaced envy.

  A few scorching shots of liquor hit me with a pleasant buzz. With the heat of the booze warming my insides, I embraced the false comfort it offered. Maybe it had been a mistake to come after Kale.

  I was about to leave when he returned. He stormed up to me with anger burning in his brown and blue eyes. I greeted him with a raised bottle and a cynical grin.

  “That didn’t take long. Don’t tell me you killed her. I don’t even want to know.”

  He glared at me with darkness in his gaze. “You walk in here like my favorite blonde nightmare and expect me to even be able to think about someone else? What are you doing here, Alexa?”

  The power sparked between us, lively and hot. I felt Kale’s anger burning through me, and it brought a naughty smile to my lips.

  “What does it look like I’m doing? I’m having a drink.” I followed that with another swig of golden l
iquor. “If you’re expecting me to apologize for saving your ass, then I’m afraid you’ll be disappointed.”

  I fixed him with a steady stare, daring him to let me have it. This had been building for weeks now, since our night together. What happened tonight had pushed it too far, and now came the inevitable backlash. I was ready for it.

  “You didn’t save my ass,” Kale fumed, his tone low and deadly. “You made an arrogant decision based on Shya stroking your ego. He’s trying to appoint you as some kind of vampire queen, and you’re letting it happen. You’ve gotten too power-crazed for your own good.”

  “That’s bullshit.” I was stunned by his allegation. “I couldn’t stand there and watch him tear your head off, Kale. He put the choice in my hands, and I chose not to watch you die.”

  “Selfish.” He spat the word in my face. Wild emotion fed his energy until it reached out to me with a stinging slap. “You don’t want me, yet you think you have a right to decide my fate. It doesn’t work that way.”

  His rejuvenated power smacked me, and I gasped. The surface sting gave way to a low burn that tickled its way down my spine.

  “Is that what you want this to be about? Us?” I forged ahead with my defense. “It wasn’t about us. It was about not letting Shya hurt you.”

  Kale leaned in close, his face inches from mine. “It was about us. I saw it in your eyes, that fear for me. A fear that only stems from love. And, love is nothing if not selfish.”

  “I did what I had to. I saved your life. I won’t be sorry for that.” My temper was starting to flare. His accusations were hitting some nerves that made me uncomfortable.

  “I would rather have died.”

  At his confession, I went cold inside. My gut reaction was to shield tight, to block him from sensing how much his words had hurt me. Keeping it from showing in my eyes wouldn’t be so easy. The best way to hide my pain was to allow it to become anger. The whiskey coursing through my veins helped.

  Through clenched teeth, I snarled, “I’m sorry you’d rather be dead than have me show affection for you. If you need to hate me to make this easier on yourself, fine. But, I will not feel bad because you’re not dead right now. You have no right to expect that of me.” I pinned him with a reproving stare. “If you’d been the one to decide my fate, would you have let me die?”