Chasing_Bliss_Google

by Lexi Blake, Sophie Oak

  A hint of a smile showed up on Jesse’s face. “She’ll think I should have had a better lawyer. She was quite mad about it, but not because she looked down on me. She thought the sentence was overkill. I kind of think so, too.”

  “You told her?” He’d only met her hours before.

  Jesse took a step forward. “I did. I like her. I would rather get all the crap out of the way. It’s better to be honest up front. Go knock on her door and talk to her. Ask her flat out what she thinks about blue-collar guys. Tell her that you’ve been hurt before and would prefer to avoid it. Just talk to her. No bullshit. And when she tries to avoid questions, top her.”

  Holy shit. “You got into the discipline stuff with her? Damn it, you haven’t even asked her out. Or did you? The way you’re going the engagement should happen sometime next week.”

  Jesse’s whole body stiffened. “I was honest with her. I didn’t ask her to marry me. I have no idea if we’re even compatible, but I would like to try. I’m tired, Cade. I’m tired of constantly being on the move. Since we turned eighteen, we’ve been like gypsies.”

  “We had a job to do.” He wasn’t going to be ashamed of it.

  “No. I get that. I’m talking about before. Always moving on to find something new. The next town, the next party, the next woman. I want to settle down.”

  That was Jesse, brutally honest, even when it fucking hurt like hell. “And she’s the one?”

  Jesse’s frustration rolled off him in waves. “How will we know if we never fucking try? I’m not saying anything except that I want to try.”

  And Cade didn’t. He just didn’t. She was beautiful and kind of crazy, and she scared the fuck out of him. “Then you should try. You should ask her out.”

  It had been years since they’d dated a woman separately, but maybe the time had come. Who the hell was he to hold his friend back? Jesse was his ride or die. He had been since that day they met fifteen years before. Jesse had followed him, even when Jesse’s instinct at times had been to lead.

  “I don’t want to date her without you,” Jesse said evenly, obviously holding on to his emotional state. “But I will. You have a week to think it over. I’m going to get to know her a little. Nothing formal. You can work with me or you can think about it. If you can’t even try, then I’ll ask her out myself.”

  The idea of watching Jesse settle in with a woman stirred an odd jealousy. He would be jealous of Jesse for finding something that might work. He would be jealous of Gemma for taking his friend.

  God, he did need to think. His first impulse had been to tell Jesse to ask her out right away, but maybe he owed Jesse the courtesy of time. “All right. One week.”

  But he still turned and walked away from the party. If he was going to think, he’d better start now.

  * * * *

  Gemma watched them. She couldn’t help it. She had been reduced to peeper status.

  Jesse and Bare-Chested Ape…Cade…seemed to be having some sort of argument. Over her, almost certainly. Cade wasn’t interested. That much was obvious. He couldn’t stand her. She had that effect on some men, a lot of men. She wished she knew why he’d decided she was trouble. What sort of rumors were already going around?

  The door to her cabin opened after a single brisk knock. Naomi walked in, peeking around the door. “You have been holding out on me. Who was the sexy cowboy you were hugging?”

  She didn’t look back. She’d gotten used to Naomi’s nosiness. It was almost comforting. “He’s not a cowboy. He’s a kinky mechanic. And he’s an ex-con. Sort of.”

  Naomi sidled up to her, their shoulders touching as she looked out at the place where Jesse and Cade stood talking. Jesse had a beer in his hand. They were so gorgeous. Cade looked like a male model, all perfection and cheekbones and classic good looks. Jesse was the embodiment of a bad boy. She would bet he had a few tattoos. Damn, but she would like to see them.

  Zane Hollister stood between them, watching the two like he was observing a tennis match.

  “How is someone a ‘sort of’ ex-con?” Naomi asked.

  Cade was frowning, that lean body of his taut with obvious tension. Jesse’s shoulders moved up and down. She wished she could see his face. “Juvie.”

  Naomi snorted. “Baby con. If he didn’t go back, it doesn’t count. Those are two beautiful men. What do you think they’re saying?”

  She could guess. “Well, Cade is saying, ‘why do you want to date that crazy city girl?’ And then Jesse says, ‘because she’s pretty and I’d like to spank her ass when she spits bile.’ Then Cade’s all ‘let’s find a nice girl to spank.’ And Jesse says, ‘all the nice girls are taken. We’re stuck with the beyotch.’ I don’t know. He might not say beyotch.”

  Naomi laughed. “Spank you? Are you kidding me?”

  “Nope. He said he would spank me when I was rude.” And her whole body had gone on full-scale alert, praying he would start right then and there. Damn it. She’d read one too many erotic romances. It was her only guilty pleasure. She was crazy about over-the-top alpha males, but she knew they were fantasies. She’d been ready to try some role playing with Patrick in an attempt to amp up their sex life, but that had gone spectacularly wrong.

  Naomi bumped Gemma’s hip with her own. “Hmmm. That explains it. If he’s into slapping ass for violating courtesy, you’re going to be his dream woman. He might never have to stop smacking your ass.”

  Gemma growled a little Naomi’s way. “Like you would know. Oh, shit. That’s not good.”

  Cade strode away from Jesse, his face a mask of irritation. Yep, he wasn’t happy. Not at all. He was damn pissed. What had put that look on his face? Jesse followed, clutching his beer. She would have to remember he liked beer. Maybe she should buy some so she would have it if he came over.

  Damn it. She didn’t need to remember anything because she wasn’t falling for his line of crap. It was all an act. No one was that honest. And she wasn’t going to even start thinking about pleasing another man. She’d done everything she could to make Patrick’s life next to perfect, and he’d taken advantage of her. She wasn’t going to do it again.

  Naomi turned from the window. “I don’t know what’s going on with those two. It doesn’t look good. Do they have names?”

  Gemma forced herself to turn away. She didn’t want to. She probably would have watched them until she couldn’t see them anymore. But it was for the best. She didn’t need to get involved with anyone. Even if she really wanted to.

  He’d talked about spanking her. He hadn’t said the words, but he basically meant he wanted to top her. She’d read about it. Thought about it. Dreamed a bit about it. She didn’t honestly want it. It was only a fantasy, and fantasies weren’t meant to be lived out. Disappointment lay down that road.

  But he’d seemed sure of himself. It had been a truly shocking moment. When he’d said he would spank her if she got out of line, her whole damn body had responded, and not in a bad way. She’d wondered what the relationship would mean. Could she depend on him? Could she tell him all the problems she had and expect him to help figure out how to solve them? Her brain went a million miles a minute. Sometimes it was hard to concentrate on just one thing. She struggled, but she persevered. And it would be easier if someone was checking up on her. It was like the gym. She needed accountability. But no one cared enough to put up with her shit.

  And they shouldn’t. She knew she was hard to handle. Focus was the key. “The one who hugged me is Jesse McCann, and he’s apparently a bit of a pervert. The one who’s running away is the man formerly known as Bare-Chested Ape Man. His real name is Cade. Sinclair, I think. Apparently he likes to be naked. Like a lot. This place is weird.”

  Naomi grinned. “This place is awesome. So you’re being pursued by a nudist and a Dom?”

  “I don’t know if he’s a Dom. We didn’t actually get into that.”

  “Oh, if it looks like a Dom and quacks like a Dom, it’s a Dom, and that man would look good naked. Both of them
, actually.” Naomi sighed. “Are you still not over your ex?”

  She laughed at the thought. She’d been over Patrick about two seconds after she’d caught him with Christina. What she hadn’t gotten over was the loss of her career. “Not at all. I can’t believe I even wanted to marry him.”

  “Why did you?” Naomi’s gorgeous brown eyes went from laughing to calculating in a single instant, and Gemma was reminded of how intelligent the nurse was.

  And she was spurred on by Jesse’s honesty. Of all the things that had happened to her today, his flat honesty was the most affecting thing of all. “He was a safe bet.”

  Naomi sighed and crossed to her small table, looking down at the box there. “That doesn’t sound romantic.”

  It wasn’t. “Think of it more like a merger. Patrick and I wanted the same things. We understood the same world. We didn’t hate each other.” The sex had been bland, but she wasn’t absolutely sure that wasn’t her fault. Christina hadn’t had the same problem. Another reason to stay away from Jesse and Cade and their ridiculously hot sexuality. “It was an easy relationship. Well, except for the part where he was a cheating, job stealing weasel. Other than that, I was almost completely in control.”

  Naomi shuddered. “That sounds horrible. Why would you do that?”

  She’d asked herself the question about a million times and could only come up with one answer. “Because the love thing isn’t real.”

  “Your momma would disagree.”

  She would. Her mother would tell her how much she’d loved her father, but now all Gemma could see was how much she’d grieved. “I was young when he died. I mostly remembered how horrible it was. We didn’t know he had cancer until he went into the hospital. We thought it was a cold. Pneumonia, maybe. And then they told us it was stage-four lung cancer. I watched him die. I watched her watch him die. I don’t see anything great about love.”

  Naomi’s eyes filled with tears, and she walked to Gemma. “Then you weren’t looking hard enough, hon. I’m glad you didn’t marry that man. It would have been a mistake.”

  Damn straight. “Especially since he was fucking Christina Big Tits at the time.” Gemma got out a letter opener. She should at least open the package. Jesse had brought it for her. What if it was actually from him? Her heart rate sped up. Another good reason to stay away. She was serious about the love thing. She didn’t want it. But he was too tempting. And Bare-Chested Ape Man was, too. Damn him. “Patrick and I lived in the same world.”

  Naomi sat down. “Your world is narrow from what I can tell. And not particularly pleasant. Why aren’t you joining the party?”

  Because those people scared the crap out of her with their babies and happy lives and small-town world. Everyone knew everyone else. Everyone seemed to accept everyone else. It was a façade. She wasn’t a dumbass. If she scratched the surface, she would probably find out that Callie hated Rachel Harper and had affairs with half the town, and sweet-faced Nell was really a horrible person. At least Max Harper was honest about his assholiness. “I don’t have anything in common with them.”

  “Did they give you a class in self-delusion at Harvard?” It was a rhetorical question since she didn’t wait for an answer. Naomi held up the package, studying it. “Who knows you’re here?”

  “I left a forwarding address, but that was to Mom’s place in Chicago.” The package looked to be tightly sealed. Gemma started to slice through the tape. “It’s probably from someone at my old firm. They could find me pretty easily. I didn’t exactly get a chance to clean out my desk. After Christina Big Tits pressed charges, they fired me and wouldn’t let me back in the building.”

  A single eyebrow arched. Naomi wasn’t past thirty-five, but she had the motherly attitude down. “I suspect that is not her real last name.”

  Someone had been damn serious about the package staying closed. The whole thing was wrapped in thick tape. “It might have been Fake Tits. Not sure.”

  Naomi leaned forward, her dark eyes sympathetic. “You know this wall you’ve built around yourself is going to have to come down someday.”

  “I don’t see why.” She freed one side and went to work on the other. She’d worked hard to build those walls. Taking them down would be a poor use of her time.

  “Because you’re never going to find happiness if you don’t.”

  “Happiness is overrated. Ask my mom.” Her mom was the reason she didn’t believe in happily ever after. Her mom had done everything right when it came to picking her husband. And he’d died anyway. No forever for her mom. No joy. Just an aching sadness and a hole that couldn’t be filled.

  “Honey, you should ask your mom. I think you would find she wouldn’t have changed a thing about her life. She’s worried about you. I am, too.”

  She finally pried the box open only to be met with a layer of plastic. What had she left behind at the office? No pictures. She hadn’t had any. They’d sent her expensively framed degrees to Chicago, and they now sat in a box on the kitchen counter. Would they send all the office supplies she’d kept? “Don’t be worried about my love life. Worry about my career. I haven’t gotten a single callback.”

  Naomi was like a dog with a bone. “Jesse seemed like a nice man. Why didn’t you stay and talk to him?”

  “Because I don’t want to get my heart ripped out.” She pulled back the plastic and gagged a little. Fuck. She hadn’t left that in her desk. “Looks like someone else had their heart ripped out.”

  Tension prickled along her spine. There was no blood in the box, only an organ that had been surgically removed, if the neatness of the incisions was any indication. Someone had sent her a message. A heart. Dead and unmoving. A useless thing, a bit like her own.

  Naomi put a hand over her nose and looked inside the box where the brownish-gray heart lay. Nothing else. Just a heart. “Okay, gross. I’ll be right back.”

  “Don’t get my mom.” She followed Naomi to the door. “You don’t need to get anyone. It’s a prank.”

  Naomi shook her head. “It’s a threat. Calm down. I’ll be discreet.”

  Naomi strode off the porch and made a beeline for Nate Wright. He waved a hello to her as he cuddled his baby close. Gemma frowned as Naomi discreetly whispered something to the sheriff that caused him to hand off his son and start walking toward her cabin. As though he had sonar hearing, Cam Briggs perked up and started following, too. The rest of the party continued, but the two lawmen had laser focused in on her.

  Nate had a fierce scowl on his face as he climbed her steps. “Seriously? You’ve been on the job for less than twenty-four hours and you’ve picked up a crazy?”

  Gemma shrugged. She hated to admit it, but she actually would feel better if Nate knew about it. It was a heart. A freaking heart. She buried the fear deep. It wouldn’t help to show it. “You know how to pick ’em, boss.”

  Cam smiled, the buttons of his shirt open and showing off tanned skin. “I’m excited. It’s been boring around here since Hope killed her ex. What have we got? Creepy letter? Voice mail threats?”

  Nate looked into the box. “Heart in a box.”

  Cam, the asshole, actually fist pumped. “Awesome. Who’d you piss off, Gemma?”

  Honesty. It was the word of the day. “Pretty much everyone who’s ever met me.”

  Nate turned to Naomi. “You’re a nurse, right? I’ll have Caleb take a look, but I would appreciate your input. Is that thing human?”

  Naomi took another look at Gemma’s present. “It’s too small to be human. I think we’re probably looking at a canine heart.”

  “Someone killed a dog?” That was horrible. A sweet puppy had been murdered so some asshole could scare the crap out of her?

  “You were okay when it was human?” Cam asked.

  “No. I’m not okay with any of it, but I like dogs more than most people.” Dogs didn’t sleep around on her and take credit for her work. Maybe she should get a dog. She’d never been able to have one in New York.

  Naomi sh
ook her head. “It’s a cadaver heart most likely. It might be a swine heart. You can buy them pretty easily. Or sneak one out of most teaching hospitals. It’s been preserved. Formaldehyde. Ick. This is why I didn’t go into research. I hate the smell. Who would send you a heart in a box?”

  “I don’t know.” She suddenly felt weary. She’d been forced to walk away from her job, but it looked like it had followed her to Bliss. She turned away. She meant to keep up the tough-girl attitude, but she didn’t have to stare at it. “I’ll make a list of the cases I’ve worked on. There are a few where I was either lead or secondary counsel, but I almost always had face time with the clients or the opponents. Some of them were pissed off.” She hated to beg, but she felt the need. “Could we please keep this quiet? I would prefer to just be the bitch, not the bitch who gets hearts in the mail.”

  “I have to talk to Caleb, but he won’t mention it.” Nate pulled a set of latex gloves out of his pocket. Gemma could only imagine how much he must love his job. “Who gave this to you?”

  Fuck. She did not want to bring him into this.

  “McCann. I saw him walk up with it.” Cameron Briggs was way too observant.

  “He said the mail carrier was asking Long-Haired Roger about it.” Had she called the man Long-Haired Roger?

  A long look passed between Nate and Cam.

  “He didn’t do this,” she insisted. “Did you check and see where it was posted from?”

  “It looks like it came out of St. Louis. But that doesn’t mean a thing,” Nate replied as he started to tape the box back up, carefully making sure he had every bit of packing material. “And I didn’t say Jesse McCann had anything to do with it.”

  “But you thought it.” She’d seen that look pass between them.

  Cam took over. “Jesse’s new in town. And he’s had a run-in with the law.”

  Gemma felt her fists clench. “That was stricken from his record the moment he turned eighteen. It is absolutely unacceptable for you to use that charge against him.”