3 Granny Snows A Sneak

by Julie Seedorf

  Penelope pulled up in front of the house. Granny checked to make sure she had her pocketbook, cell phone and shovel. Mavis had dropped the shovel off along with the snowmobile. Franklin had insisted that Granny couldn’t take it with her to the police station.

  “I’m glad you brought your shovel cane, Mom,” said Penelope. “You have such unique canes. That nice Silas Crickett mentioned all the cute canes you have yesterday when he stopped by the hardware store. Such a nice man.”

  Granny slammed the car door and turned up the radio as she mumbled an answer.

  “I’m sorry I didn’t hear you,” said Penelope. “Where shall we go for your dress? Do you want to drive over to the Bridal Shop in Taffeta? It’s a little longer drive, about an hour. This is going to be so much fun!” Penelope clapped her hands in excitement, swerving the car when her hands came off the wheel.

  “Do you want me to drive?” Granny asked, as she held onto the dashboard for support. She might need her crypt sooner than she thought.

  The trip to Taffeta was uneventful. The Bridal Shop was aptly named The Taffeta. Granny eyed the gowns in the shop with a skeptical eye. They certainly didn’t look like what Granny had in mind for her wedding dress.

  “So, what are you looking for?” the tall, buxom blonde sales girl asked.

  “Something, possibly in beige, with a high neck, possibly a belt around the waist and below the knee in length,” Penelope answered for her mother. “Maybe soft wool, since it’s winter?” she added as an afterthought.

  “I was thinking red silk or possibly velour and to the floor, with sparkling red beads around the neck and on the bodice. I’ll know it when I see it,” Granny informed the two, as she walked to the back of the store where there were racks of red dresses.

  “Don’t you want something a little more sedate for your wedding?” Penelope held out a soft beige and white wool suit trimmed with black velvet.

  Granny reached into the rack and pulled out a long slim-to-the-floor silk skirt with a panel of red velvet in the front and the back. Hanging with the skirt was a short red velvet tapered jacket, lined with red silk to match the skirt. The front had little patches of silk sewn over the velvet; with red sequins shimmering on the edges of the lapels and collar. With a stubborn look on her face, Granny announced, “This is my wedding dress.”

  Seeing the look on Penelope’s face, the sales clerk turned and pulled out a matching red sequined top made out of a sheer silk. It was fully peppered with sequins to hide anything that might show underneath.

  A look of triumph lit up Granny’s face. “That’s it!”

  Penelope swallowed and said slowly, “Well …. if ...you’re …sure.”

  “I’m sure. I was going to wear my red high tops, but did you see those sequined red boots over there? They look like me. Do you have my size?”

  After Granny got fitted and arrangements were made to pick up the dress, mother and daughter decided to stop at The Pink Percolator when they got back to Fuchsia and order the flowers for the wedding. Though the forest was no longer part of Delight’s shop as it had been at Ella’s Enchanted Forest, Delight and Ella still did special arrangements for weddings and funerals.

  Ella served Granny and Penelope a Twisted Hot Caramel Fuchsia Latte as they waited for Delight to bring them some flower options for the wedding.

  Nonchalantly, Granny inquired, “So did you and Butch settle your differences the other day?”

  “No, and we won’t until he comes clean,” replied Penelope.

  “Comes clean about what?” asked Granny.

  “Comes clean about what he wants to forget that he knows that he wishes I didn’t know,” said Penelope.

  Granny laughed so hard she almost spilled her latte.

  “What are you laughing about? It’s not funny,” Penelope informed her mother in a miffed tone.

  At that moment, Delight joined them. “What’s so funny?”

  “Watching myself across the table.” Chortling, Granny could barely get the words out.

  Delight looked at Penelope. “By the way,” Delight said, “when I see Butch helping out at Graves’ Mortuary, it brings back memories of when he used to work there. I remember he was so young, just out of high school, but he had a way with those bodies. He should have been a mortician instead of in security.”

  Penelope, seeing Silas Crickett come in the door, jumped up and called Silas over. “Silas, I just remembered, I have to leave. Can you take my mother home? Thank you.” Penelope made a beeline for the door, calling back to her mother, “It’s been fun!” and practically ran out the door.

  “Something I said?” Delight asked, confused, “We didn’t do anything with the flowers.”

  “I have a feeling it was something you said, Delight, but I’m not sure what,” Granny answered in a thoughtful tone. “And she left with my shovel.”

  Silas sat down across from Granny. “Good, I’m safe.”

  With a withering look at Silas, Granny turned to Delight. “We’ll talk about the flowers later. Delight, did the police question you?”

  “Not so much question as much informed me of what really happened to Delbert. He was murdered. They said he was stabbed and then pushed off the curb, hitting the motorcycle which threw him onto it and then into the tree. Who would do something like that?”

  “Where was your husband when he was murdered?” Silas joined the questioning.

  “He was in a town in northern Minnesota on business. I think it was called Fish.”

  “That’s where the money that was in Ferdinand’s grave came from!” Granny brought her hands down hard on the table in discovery. “Would your husband have robbed the bank?”

  Delight started sobbing.

  “Now look what you’ve done,” Silas chastised Granny. “You’ve made this poor woman cry.” He handed Delight a napkin to wipe her tears while glaring at Granny.

  Granny changed her questioning. “What were you saying, Delight, about Butch being good with dead bodies? I knew he helped out when he was a kid but ….”

  Delight looked around, making sure none of the other customers could hear what she was about to say. “I remember that he sometimes had to dress the bodies and see that the inscription plaques were put on correctly. Gravy was a little, um, discombobulated, if you know what I mean.” Delight winked as she said the word discombobulated.

  “No, I don’t know what that means. Can’t you women talk English?” Silas shook his head in disgust.

  Delight’s whisper became quieter. “It means he liked the moonshine a little too much.”

  “So, don’t we all from time to time,” Silas grouched.

  “But at that time he liked it all the time. Most people didn’t know that there was a reason Gravy was always so happy. That all stopped when he got married.” Delight’s tone got quieter yet.

  Granny pondered that thought for a few moments.

  Silas got to his feet, “Let’s go home. I need to talk to you.” He held out his hand to help Granny up.

  Looking at his hand, Granny turned to Delight. “I never take handouts. I’ll call you about the flowers, Delight. I have a special request for my bouquet.”

  Silas laughed, withdrew his hand from Granny’s reach, and turned to Delight, taking her hand. “I’m sure you would take a handout.” He leaned down and kissed her hand. Delight giggled and blushed like a schoolgirl.

  Granny took one look at Silas and the giggling Delight and stomped out of The Pink Percolator. She was halfway to the hardware store when Silas caught up with her in his car.

  “Where are you going? Home’s the other way.”

  “I need my shovel. Penelope’s car is parked in front of the hardware store.”

  “Get in; I want to talk to you about Felix Smart. We’ll get your shovel.”

  As Silas parked in front of the hardware store, they could see Penelope and Butch having an argument through the window. It appeared to be pretty animated, accompanied by frantic, gesturing arms.


  “I’ll get the shovel; I think it’s best we don’t disturb them,” Silas suggested. “Do you know what they might be arguing about?”

  “According to Penelope, it’s something someone needs to know, that they don’t know, that they should know, that they maybe will never know.” Granny shook her head matter-of-factly.

  “Never mind, I shouldn’t have asked.”

  Silas retrieved Granny’s pink shovel cane out of Penelope’s car and drove through the streets of Fuchsia, eventually coming to a stop in his own driveway. “You need to come in.”

  “Your house? Why?” Granny asked suspiciously.

  “I have some information I want to show you.”

  “This better not be a trick, Silas Crickett.” Granny warned as she got out of the car.

  Silas unlocked the door to his house and ushered her in. He indicated that Granny should proceed to the living room. When he joined her, he had two glasses of wine in his hands. He held one out to Granny.

  Granny hesitantly took the glass in her hand. “Are you planning on getting me drunk?”

  “I think better when I’m more relaxed, and you might listen better if you’re more relaxed.”

  Silas took out some papers and spread them on the coffee table before them. “These are all the companies that are subsidiaries of the Amelia Corporation. They are a big conglomerate but you never hear about them. For some reason, they prefer to fly under the radar. We just happened to get lucky finding those papers that your detective stiff left.”

  At the word Amelia, Granny blanched. Seeing this happen again, Silas challenged Granny, “Spill it. Who is the Amelia Company, and why are they investigating you? Do you know they also own the land outside of town under the name Foofidleyfah Fortunes? There’s a rumor they’re going to build on that land. Again I ask, what does that have to do with you?”

  Granny took a drink of her wine, draining the glass. “I have to go home; I feel weak, and I’m not feeling so good. Where’s my shovel cane?” Granny tried to stand up, but Silas grabbed her hand pulling her back down next to him.

  “That doesn’t work with me. You’re fine. Now spill it.” He looked deep into her eyes.

  “Why should I tell you anything, Mr. Supercilious!”

  “Because if you don’t, I’m going to find out what you’re hiding and tell Thor and Franklin.”

  “Unhand him! Robbers! Unhand him!” Radish screeched as he flew in from the kitchen window. At the same time, they heard a commotion across the street. Baskerville was howling, the cats were hissing, Little White Poodle was barking and barking, and Tank growled loud enough to be heard in Silas’s house. Granny and Silas ran to the kitchen window just as they heard George and Mavis yelling, “Stop or I’ll shoot!”

  The sound of a gunshot interrupted the barking, growling and meowing that was coming from across the street at Granny’s house.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

  Hearing the gunshot, Granny grabbed her coat, along with her pink shovel cane, and ran out of the house. Silas ran after Granny yelling, “Hermiony, stop!” concerned at what danger she might be headed into.

  The first thing Granny saw was George lying on the ground with the large Christmas tree from his roof planted firmly on top of him. Mavis lay in the snow too with her shotgun in her lap.

  Alarmed, Granny ran to Mavis while Silas, taking in the scene, ran to George. At the same time, the noise across the street abated as Baskerville, Little White Poodle, Tank and Mrs. Bleaty headed into the woods by the side of Granny’s house, giving chase to what looked like a man in black garb and a black stocking cap over his head.

  “Mavis, Mavis, speak to me! Are you dead?” Granny asked in alarm while gently slapping the sides of Mavis face.

  “Enough,” Mavis answered, swatting Granny’s hands away. “I think I shot George. I was trying to wound the guy, or maybe it was a gal, running out of your house, but when I let the shot go, my shotgun kicked back and knocked me on the ground. I heard George yell. Did I kill him? I can’t bear to look.” Mavis covered her eyes and burrowed deeper into the snow with her back.

  “You didn’t kill him, wound him or maim him,” Silas barked from behind them. “You treed him.”

  “Treed him?” Mavis quickly sat up and turned around. Granny, too, turned in the direction of the voice.

  “Next time you decide to shoot that thing, Mavis, you’d better lean against the house so you actually hit the thing that you want to hit,” George advised, extricating himself from the evergreen tree.

  Silas walked over to Mavis and took the shotgun from Mavis’s lap. Granny gave Mavis a hand and helped her up. “You shot the tree, Mavis.”

  “I’m confiscating this. You’re dangerous. You’re all dangerous!” Silas blathered in a loud voice. “Someone should have warned me before I moved in. At least, I know how to shoot a gun.”

  The sound of a snowmobile starting up and taking off in the woods diverted Silas’s attention. The dogs were still barking and a faint bleat could be heard under the roar of the snowmobile. “Do you mind telling me what this is all about?”

  Mavis looked at Granny. “What were you doing in Silas’s house?”

  “Mavis, focus! Why did you try and shoot someone?” Granny clicked her fingers in front of Mavis’s face to get her to focus on Granny’s question instead of her own about Granny’s little sojourn to Silas’s house.

  “Someone must have broken into your house, Granny. Your animals came home, ran into your house, and then a man with a black mask came out of your house. The animals were trying to stop him so I had enough time to get my gun.”

  “Did it ever occur to you that you might have hit the shysters or Baskerville or Mrs. Bleaty?” Granny scolded. “They would have got him if you wouldn’t have scared them with your fabulous Annie Oakley routine.”

  “Catch that crook! Catch that crook!” Radish shrieked, flying out of the house from the door that had been left open by Silas in his haste. Baskerville, Little White Poodle, Tank and Mrs. Bleaty exited the woods and headed toward the shrieking bird. Radish saw Mrs. Bleaty and flew to her head. “Gotcha, Gotcha, Gotcha.”

  At that moment, Thor drove up in a Fuchsia Police cruiser. Seeing the group in the driveway of Mavis’s house, he and an officer jumped out of the car and joined them. “We had reports of a gunshot.”

  “It’s fine; Annie Oakley here tried to hunt her Christmas tree on the top of her house and she bagged George,” Granny explained.

  “Crazy people!” Silas shook his head and answered Thor, “Someone broke into your mom’s house, the animals chased them, but the crazy guy had a snowmobile hidden in the woods. We haven’t checked the house yet.”

  “You all stay here while we check out the damage,” Thor advised.

  “Check out my cats too. They seem to have disappeared. They didn’t follow the others into the woods. On second thought, I’ll check.” Granny started across the street.

  Silas grabbed Granny’s arm and held her back, “I’ve got this, Thor. You check out the house; I’ll keep your mom in check.”

  “George, Mavis, I’ll want to talk to you after I’ve scoped out the house. You’re the only witnesses, besides Mom’s menagerie––and I don’t think they’ll talk,” Thor said, and proceeded across the street along with the policeman who had accompanied him to the scene. They both drew their guns before entering the house.

  “Why would someone break into my house? Maybe I didn’t lock the back and basement doors. What do I know Silas that I don’t know?”

  Soon, Thor waved the all clear and gestured to all of them that it was safe to enter Granny’s house.

  “Did you find my cats?” Granny questioned as she entered the house, only to stop and view the scene before her. “I guess my question is answered,” Granny remarked as she saw Fish and Furball lapping up a broken carton of milk that had spattered all over her kitchen floor. Looking further, Granny saw that all her drawers had been ransacked and her chairs turned over. Walking into her bed
room, the scene was the same.

  “Don’t bother to go any farther, the family room and exercise room in the basement look the same. Second floor wasn’t touched. Your back door lock was broken. That’s how they got in,” Thor explained. “Do you have any idea what they might be looking for? Have you been doing anything that I don’t know about?”

  Granny looked at Silas. Silas gently, in a tiny movement, shook his head no, “Haven’t even been locked in the cemetery lately,” Granny said innocently, shaking her head no.

  “I’ll get the crime scene guys to go over this. You have to stay somewhere else tonight, Mom,” said Thor. “Mavis and George, I’ll follow you back to your house and take your statement.”

  The door opened and Franklin strode into the room and scooped Granny up in a big hug. “Hermiony, are you all right? Ephraim called me and thought you might need me. Thor, he said to tell you he’ll catch you back at the station. He didn’t find anything new after visiting with the former caretaker of the cemetery.”

  “She can’t stay here tonight, Franklin,” Thor informed Granny’s fiancé, pointing at the destruction all around.

  “Maybe she can stay with Silas,” Mavis piped up, “since they’re friends now and Granny visits him. That way she’ll be close to home if the investigators need her.”

  Granny stomped the umbrella that had been sitting by the door down on the floor right next to Mavis foot. Mavis jumped as Silas said, “You misunderstood, Mavis, Granny was apprising me of my rights if I so much as touch her animals again. I was just ready to call the police when we heard the shot. I didn’t see anything. It’s been nice––as nice as crazy gets.” With a shake of his head, Silas closed the door that Franklin had left open, but not before turning back to have the final word once he was safely on Granny’s front porch. “She needs taking care of. I’d advise the Wrinkle Farm or the Hoosegow.”