U-Turn

by Maren Lee

  Damn, dude. You sound desperate.

  “Ryan,” Katie sighed.

  Sighing isn’t good.

  “I’m getting married, Ryan. You and me? We’re done. Just stop. Don’t complicate things, please.” Ryan could tell she wanted to sound like she was giving her final answer. But she was hesitating.

  “Is the sex as good with him?”

  Katie flinched. She looked surprised that he would ask a question like that. She threw her shoulders back. “Even better,” she said defiantly.

  She’s a bad liar.

  ➰

  Fuck you, Ryan. No, the sex isn’t as good with him, you fucking asshole. It’s vanilla, easy, sufficient. Not nearly as much or as wild. But it’s perfectly fine sex.

  Katie was pissed. How dare Ryan interrupt her quiet thoughts, the thoughts that were very close to convincing herself that she was making the right decision in marrying Brian.

  “Even better,” she lied.

  Shit, you’re a bad liar, Katie!

  “Remember when I fucked your ass while I had your pink vibrator in your pussy? Fuck, I still think about that night. Is the sex better than that?”

  Of course he was going to mention that time. No, you fucking asshole.

  “Way better.” She glared at him. Damn it. Why did he have to be so handsome? Dark hair. A little bit of salt and pepper around his ears. A seemingly perpetual five o’clock shadow. Kind blue eyes that didn’t seem capable of the dirty words coming out of his mouth. Katie remembered exactly how he looked under his clothes, too. And he was…magnificent.

  “How about that time we drove up that forest service road and I fucked you while you bent over a log backwards? Better than that?”

  Asshole. Katie’d had scratches all over her back for a week from that interlude. It may have been fucking painful but it was hot and she came more than once. She usually always came more than once with Ryan.

  Fuck. Stop thinking about this.

  “Yes, better than that.”

  “You hesitated.”

  “No, I didn’t.”

  “Yeah, you did.”

  “Whatever. Yes, the sex with Brian is better than any of the crazy shit we ever did.”

  “You’re a bad liar, Katie.”

  “No, I’m not.”

  Ryan smiled. “You’re not a bad liar? So you admit you’re lying?”

  “Fuck off, Ryan. You know what I meant.”

  “How about that time I laid you out on your kitchen table and stuffed your pussy with whipped cream and then literally ate you out?”

  Katie’s vaginal walls clenched. That had been very sticky but very, very hot.

  She put her hands on her hips, trying to look matter of fact. “I didn’t actually enjoy that,” she lied. Badly. Again.

  Ryan laughed. The laugh lines around his eyes perked up. He no longer looked sad. Annoying.

  “What about when we role played? You pretended to be the high class call girl and showed up at my hotel room with a menu of options? Jesus, fuck, Katie. Nothing has ever been hotter than that. You can’t possibly tell me that sex with the boring doctor is better than that.”

  Katie cleared her throat. “Well, I can. Because it is. Definitely. Brian isn’t boring.”

  Ryan laughed again. “I don’t believe you for a second, baby. But I’d love to remind you why you should leave him and come back to me.”

  “I would never cheat on my fiancé, Ryan. Never.”

  “I would never ask you to cheat. I just want to remind you of what we had.” Ryan shrugged.

  “You and I want different things, Ryan. I’ve moved on.” She lied to herself this time. Had she moved on? She thought she had. But when he was standing right in front of her…?

  This shit needs to stop. Shut it down, Katie.

  “I’m not leaving my fiancé. I’m getting married. It’s final. Why am I even explaining this to you?”

  Ryan’s shoulders slumped. For a second, Katie felt bad for him. Fuck, he’s handsome. Don’t let his sexiness trap you! Katie needed to get the fuck out of there before she did something reckless.

  She stomped past him and walked inside. She hoped her face didn’t show her frustration. She didn’t want to tip anyone off that it was Ryan who had her completely flustered. He followed in closely behind her. Too close for Katie’s liking. Particularly because Molly was giving her a strange look as they walked in.

  “Ryan! Get over here!” Sierra yelled.

  As he stepped past Katie, he gave her a smirk.

  “What’s up, Sierra?”

  “My friend in Billings. She’s free next weekend. Are you off? Can I set up a date?”

  Katie stopped moving. Every muscle in her body froze. She was anxious to hear his answer.

  Holy shit, Katie. Why do you even care? He’s allowed to date. You’re marrying someone else.

  Ryan looked back at Katie. She didn’t have muscle control yet to even glare at him, so she just stared. Blankly.

  “I’m working next weekend. How about the one after?”

  No.

  “I can check with her.”

  “Why don’t you just text me her number and I’ll set it up?”

  No.

  “Awesome. Okay. I really think you’re going to like her.” Katie hated Sierra in that moment.

  No? Shit.

  Ryan turned back toward Katie.

  Gotta get outta here. Can’t let anyone see this.

  She walked through the kitchen and into the garage. She exhaled as a tear slid down her cheek.

  You’re marrying someone else. Why are you sad about this, Katie?

  She heard the door open behind her. She knew it was him. Why is he doing this to you?

  “Katie. What the hell? Why are you upset? You literally just told me to move on and leave you alone.”

  Katie turned to look at him. She wanted to yell. She wanted to scream. She wanted to punch his broad, hard chest and cry in his arms. But she didn’t. Because she didn’t want anyone in the house to know they were out here together. And she was afraid if she touched him she’d lose all self control.

  “I don’t know. I don’t know why I’m upset. You’re allowed to do whatever you want. I have no say.” It was the truth. She didn’t know why she was so upset.

  “I won’t go out with her if it upsets you, baby.”

  “No. I’m not your baby. Go out with her. I don’t care.” Saying it out loud felt wrong, but she pushed it down.

  “Just come back to me, Katie,” he said as he walked closer.

  No. Keep your distance.

  “Sex isn’t enough for me, Ryan. It wasn’t enough for me then. It’s not enough for me now. And you made it clear that was all you were ever going to want.”

  “No. I never once said that. It wasn’t just about sex for me. Don’t forget, Katie, you’re the one who made me leave!” She could tell he was getting angry, but he was still being careful with his volume so as not to arouse the suspicions of anyone in the house.

  “Why couldn’t you have just fought for me, Ryan?” she asked, another tear making its way down her cheek.

  “I didn’t think you wanted me to,” Ryan responded, quietly. He approached her quickly and put his hand on her cheek, his thumb wiping away the tear. Fuck. His touch sent a shockwave of shivers through her body. “I was convinced I wasn’t good enough for you. I’m still not good enough for you.”

  “If you’re not good enough for me, then why are you even here?”

  “Because… I guess… I’m a selfish bastard. And I just miss you, Katie.” Ryan looked at her lips and then back to her eyes, searching for permission to kiss her. “So much.”

  “Ryan.” Katie inhaled deeply and then sighed, her breath heavy with regret. “You were too afraid to tell my brother. You were too bothered by our age difference. You aren’t interested in getting married again. You won’t even entertain the idea of having more kids. What’
s changed?”

  “Everything.”

  “What does that mean?”

  Ryan pushed a stray tendril of Katie’s hair behind her ear. “It means I’m ready to get my ass beat by your brother. I’ll marry you right now. I’ll make a baby with you right now if it means being with you.” He grinned and licked his lips.

  Holy. Fucking. Shit.

  “What?” she asked. She could hear the astonishment in her voice. It didn’t sound like her own. Like her utterance was somehow involuntarily controlled by another organ in her body.

  Your heart, maybe?

  “I want to be the one give you everything, Katie. Choose me instead.”

  No. You love Ryan. Brian! Dammit! You love Brian!

  Get out. Now.

  “Stop, Ryan. Please,” she pleaded. “You’re too late. I’m sorry. I can’t. Just. No. Please leave me alone.” And on that, she turned and ran. She couldn’t look back and see his reaction or she knew she’d run back into his arms.

  Holy fuck.

  Chapter 7

  The next morning was brutal.

  Ryan barely slept last night. He kept replaying his conversation with Katie in his mind. The surprise he saw register on her beautiful face when he promised he’d give her everything she wanted. But still she refused.

  She doesn’t want you back, man.

  His nightly routine of masturbation and self-pity would have to continue. Everything sucked.

  Ryan ran his fingers through his hair, frustrated. He knew Katie was stubborn. And, no, he didn’t actually expect to be able to talk her out of her engagement in one five-minute conversation. But fuck. Despite what he’d seen behind her eyes, he’d heard what she said.

  Katie was getting married. She didn’t want him.

  More than likely, she didn’t know what she wanted. But that was almost worse. Ryan knew he wanted Katie.

  The fact that she wasn’t sure?

  Better than nothing, man.

  Maybe he’d planted at least one seed of doubt.

  He slammed his locker shut. It was about time for his shift to start.

  “Hey, gramps. Where’s the scooter?”

  Fuck. Wesson.

  “In the shop, fuckface. What do you want?”

  “I need your help today.”

  Wesson had made detective a few months back. Since then, the guy had been busting his ass trying to draw links between the drug problem in Bounty County (shit, all of Montana) and the Sinaloa Cartel run by the notorious Cesar Ruiz. But there were all sorts of complications. It was the biggest mess he’d ever studied. It wasn’t just the Sinaloa Cartel. It was also Russian Bratva, the Ukrainians, the Outlaw Nation motorcycle club, the Skinheads, and others. It seemed like everyone was in on it. And if they weren’t cooperating, the fact that they were all pushing product? It was like drinking from a fucking firehose. It was insane the amount of product flooding the market. And they couldn’t stop it. In the meantime, people were dropping left and right from drug overdoses.

  Heroin.

  And the even scarier thing? Headed their way next was heroin cut with carfentanil - a fucking elephant tranquilizer. They hadn’t yet seen that in Bounty County, but it was only a matter of time. It was spreading west. Fast. These guys needed to be stopped. And they needed to get the fucking death penalty for their role in it, in Ryan’s opinion.

  “Awesome.” Ryan knew he didn’t sound genuine. He really didn’t want to hang out with Wesson today, even if it was for a good cause. Ryan knew he would get an earful about Katie. The last thing he needed was to be scolded by Wesson.

  “Don’t sound so excited, old man. I don’t want to have to reset your pacemaker.”

  He really wanted to make a joke about Wesson’s mom getting his heart rate up before he left her house this morning – she was a huge flirt and would have loved the joke – but Rachel Campbell was the sweetest lady, and in a wheelchair on top of it. Definitely off limits.

  “Thanks for the concern, bud.” Ryan knew playing into Wesson’s age discrimination comments was pointless. At last mention, Wesson had Ryan pegged at 87 years old. He was pretty sure Wesson knew his real age, but the guy just wouldn’t let it go.

  “Wanna head out with me after the briefing?” Wesson asked.

  “Sure.”

  Ryan hoped he wouldn’t land a seat in the conference room next to Wesson, but as luck would have it, Tattle Tits sat right next to him.

  Wesson settled in, setting his phone down, screen side up. A picture of Molly holding that damn cat of Wesson’s was his screensaver.

  Kobe Michael. The cat was a complete asshole. He looked really fucking pissed off in the picture. Like he couldn’t believe Molly would dare to touch him. But Wesson fucking loved that stupid-ass cat.

  “So…after everything we talked about in the bar last night, you were still following Katie around at the party last night. You need to walk away for good,” Wesson said before he slurped his coffee. “Everyone noticed, dude.”

  Well. Fuck.

  “Can we not talk about this now?” Ryan whispered.

  “Talk about what?” Smitty said from across the table.

  Ryan stared at Smitty, hoping something would come to mind. Think, asshole!

  Wesson interrupted his slow thinking. “I was asking Ryan if he was still interested in volunteering some time in the next few weeks to help us with the football team this year. He didn’t want to talk about it just yet.”

  Goddamn him!

  Smitty looked at Ryan. “Seriously? That would be awesome, bro.” Smitty held up his fist in invitation to bump.

  He bumped Smitty’s fist back. “Yep… that was it.”

  Ryan leaned in close enough that only Wesson could hear him. “Wess, I want to punch you in the throat right now.”

  Wesson laughed quietly. “You aren’t going to do shit, old man. Now quit bullshitting me about what’s going on with you and… you know.”

  Fine. Ryan decided to make Wesson wish he hadn’t asked. “If you really want to know, I’ll tell you.”

  Wesson nodded.

  “Last night, when we were on the back deck, she told me she didn’t want me anymore. She said Brian was just a cover and she was switching teams.” Ryan shrugged.

  Wesson looked confused. “What do you mean switching teams? Like not a Broncos fan? Holy shit, Jake will lose his mind!”

  Jesus, this guy.

  “No, dummy. Like, she’s a lesbian now.” Ryan looked at Wesson like he was crazy to not understand what the fuck ‘switching teams’ meant.

  “What?!” Wesson shouted. Smitty sat up straight and gave them a look.

  Ryan nodded. “Keep it down,” he whispered.

  “Why would she do that?” Wesson asked.

  “It’s not like it’s a choice, Wess,” Ryan quietly defended the imaginary closeted Katie.

  “Yeah, but...this doesn’t make sense!” he insisted.

  Everyone in the room was now noticing the disruption.

  “You better be quiet about it. She doesn’t want her family to know. Her girlfriend is a nurse at the hospital, too.” Ryan was trying his hardest to contain his laughter. If he could pull this off, maybe Wesson would back off the Katie situation and Ryan would be able to win her back without any interference.

  “Oh my god. I can’t… too many secrets!” Wesson’s voice started to rise again.

  “Well, if you let this one out of the bag, you’ll upset all of the Hamiltons. So get it together, bro.” Ryan raised his eyebrows at him, giving him his best “dad look.”

  Wesson began to sweat. He was clearly anxious. Mission accomplished.

  Brenden cleared his throat. “If you ladies are done with your conversation, we can get the meeting started.” Brenden looked back and forth between them.

  “I’m good. Are you good, Wess?” Ryan nudged him with his elbow.

  “I’m fine.” Wesson’s voice cracked like a teenage boy.
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