Metal Boxes - Rusty Hinges

by Alan Black

  Stone said, “Peebee, would you ask Shorty and Sissie to guide Agent Storovitch —”

  “It’s just Ivan now that I’ve retired from being an EMIS agent.”

  Stone gave a quick nod of acceptance, “Please ask Shorty and Sissie to guide Ivan down to the beach and keep an eye on him for me?” He grabbed Danielle’s elbow and guided her to the military reception.

  Stone introduced Admiral Temple to Danielle as the emperor’s representative. In turn, they introduced her to the crowd of officers behind him. Danielle took in the ceremony with good grace, meeting this and that officer and saying hello, until she reached the marine contingent. She even smiled when Peebee came bounding back, enthusiastically bumping into her, causing her to lose a couple of layers of skin on an elbow. She hugged Numos and Hammermill like old friends, but refused to go any farther, claiming her feet hurt and the sun was too hot.

  Temple said quietly over his shoulder to no one in particular, “Formation dismissed.” Dozens of non-commissioned officers picked up the phrase and bellowed it across the tarmac.

  Stone tapped open his dataport and ordered a floater for him, Danielle, and Temple. When it arrived, it was driven by S1C Dollish. Normally, he would have driven the floater himself to show Danielle around, but he didn’t want to send Dollish away. Despite their difference in ranks, he looked at Tim Dollish as the only friend he had close to his own age.

  He surprised them all when he said, “Danielle, this is my friend, Spacer First Class Tim Dollish. Tim, this is Commander Danielle Wright, retired and the emperor’s representative.” Helping Danielle into the back seat of the four-seat floater, he punched Tim lightly in the arm as the young man stared google-eyed at the woman. Temple vaulted into the back seat with athleticism that belied his age.

  Stone laughed, “Come on, Tim. Don’t stare. You’ve seen a pregnant woman before or is it an admiral that fascinates you?” He climbed into the front seat next to the driver.

  Dollish nodded, but couldn’t tear his eyes away from her. “I’ve seen admirals far too often, Boss. And I’ve seen a pregnant woman before, but I’ve never seen an emperor’s rep before.” He lowered his voice to a whisper, but no matter how quiet he was trying to be, it carried to the back seat. “She looks normal, Boss. Kind of pretty, but still normal.”

  Danielle laughed. “Of course, I’m normal, young man. What did you expect? Wings and a halo, maybe?”

  Dollish drove slowly along the tarmac, heading toward their main building.

  Jay and Peebee bounded in front of the floater, chivvying people out of the way.

  Dollish kept his eyes on the road, but couldn’t help glancing at Danielle in the rearview mirror. “I don’t know what I expected, your grace … er, your majesty, highness?”

  Danielle laughed harder. “You can call me Dani, if I can call you Tim.”

  Dollish looked at Stone and glanced over his shoulder at Temple.

  Stone said, “It’s okay, Spacer Dollish. It’s strange since she never let me call her anything except commander, but if she says Dani, then that’s okay.”

  Danielle said, “That isn’t exactly how I remember our conversations, Mister Stone. Speaking of strange, what the heck are those?”

  CHAPTER FOUR

  Stone put a hand on Dollish’s arm, signaling him to brake. They eased to a stop next to the perfectly formed rows of piglets. There were hundreds of them, all standing at attention, still wearing their mismatched handmade strawhats. Their mirrored sunglasses reflecting the bright sun.

  Stone said, “Jay, would you introduce Danielle to our friends?”

  Danielle looked at Stone in surprise. “Jay can talk to them? I mean, I’ve gotten reports that they understand a good bit of the standard language, but nothing I read indicated drascos have a means to talk.”

  Stone said, “The drascos do understand us when we speak to them, but they can’t communicate back to us.” He glared at Dollish, ignoring his snort of disbelief. “Still, if we tell the drascos something, they have some way to communicate with the piglets. The piglets seem to understand us as well, but we can’t hear them when they speak. The drascos apparently do. So they work well as interpreters — sort of.”

  “Wait.” Danielle said, “Those things, piglets you called them, are intelligent?”

  Suddenly, they were surrounded by a mob of piglets. Jay said, “They want to look at the emperor’s representative. They don’t know who the emperor is, but I said he was the most important human in all of space except you, Mama, so they want to see her.”

  Temple frowned at the press of bodies. “What do they want? I’ve never seen this many at the same time. Ensign Stone, should I call for security?”

  Stone shook his head, “No, Admiral. They’re just interested in seeing an emperor’s rep.” He gestured for Danielle to stand up. “Go ahead, Commander — I mean Mrs. Wright — er, sorry … Mrs. Storovitch.”

  Danielle struggled to her feet with a delicate grunt, propping a hand in the small of her back. She laughed at Stone. “You better just call me Dani, too, you goof — or should I say Governor Goof?” She waved at the crowd, who waved back enthusiastically. “How intelligent are they?”

  Stone said, “According to Whizzer —”

  “Who?” Danielle interrupted.

  “Whizzer is Doctor Emiliano Wyznewski. He’s the head scientist here and —”

  Temple interrupted with a snort of derision. “Putting Whizzer in charge of anything is like putting the monkeys in charge of the zoo.”

  Stone shook his head. “A what, Admiral?”

  “A zoo, Ensign. Surely, you know what a zoo is. You’re in charge of a whole planet that’s little more than a zoo without cages.”

  “No, Admiral,” Stone replied. “I know what a zoo is. I saw one once, back on … Altiveise Station, I think. 3D holograms of animals from all over —”

  “No,” Temple interrupted. “I was thinking of one of the old style zoos with actual live exhibits.”

  Stone nodded. “Yes, Admiral. I didn’t know there were such things, but what I meant was what are those — what did you call them — monkeys?”

  “Ah, a long tailed animal that just sort of looks like a human.”

  Danielle added, “Actually, they’re a primate from Old Earth. From the ones I’ve seen, their main pastime seems to be throwing their own feces at any observers.”

  Temple laughed, “See? That sounds like Whizzer. The man is more menace than scientist.”

  Stone thought of defending his friend, but didn’t want to contradict a four star admiral selectee and an official emperor’s representative. Instead, he said, “Anyway, Whizzer says the piglets are more intelligent than they’ve a right to be. He ranks them somewhere above politicians, but only slightly below humans. Dani, ask Jay to ask the piglets something.”

  Jay swung her neck around until she was nose to nose with Danielle. There was barely a mouse breath of space between them. Jay said, “Mama, of course the piglets are smart. They just aren’t big and strong. They shouldn’t have to prove themselves.” She glared at Danielle almost as if daring her to ask.

  Danielle said, “Um, Stone? Did I do something to make Jay angry?”

  Stone shook his head. “No, Dani. I did.” He gestured for her to sit and once seated, he pointed with his chin to have Dollish continue driving. “The drascos and the piglets are protective of each other. As the only intelligent non-humans around here, they’ve bonded. Jay was upset that I thought the piglets should have to keep proving their intelligence to us.”

  Jay and Peebee were running along with the floater. Danielle reached out and gently patted Jay on the head. “I’m sorry, Jay. Your friends are obviously smart and I didn’t mean to suggest otherwise. I was just surprised at seeing them. Why don’t you give them dataports? They have filangees — um, fingers — to type. I’ve seen laboratory rats typing out commands to talk to researchers. They only ask for food or water, but with an intelligent species, they just need an avatar t
o talk back, so you wouldn’t need an interpreter to quantify their intelligence.”

  Stone slapped his forehead with his palm and shook his head. Dollish just nodded, his forehead furrowed in thought.

  Temple said, “Giving human technology to a relatively unknown alien species might not be a wise idea. I know of a dozen navy regs and civilian laws that prohibit such a thing. Still, their formations have proved their intelligence to me. You know, no one ever taught them to stand in rank and file at attention. I’ve seen human clusters who can’t line up that straight and perfect. They’ve learned it just from watching us. I don’t believe it’s mimicry. I just wish their stupid hats matched better. It makes them look like they’re out of uniform. The sunglasses are a nice touch though.”

  Stone nodded. “I know they make their hats themselves. I’ve watched Shorty make one. He’s sort of my assistant, or aide, or maybe my liaison officer to the piglets—I don’t know what he is really. He just shows up every day and does things. Anyway, I know about the hats, but I’ve been wondering about the sunglasses. He showed up with a pair one day and now they all have them. I don’t know where they’re getting them.”

  Dollish hesitated, but spoke up. “Sir, they make them sunglasses themselves.”

  Danielle leaned forward. “Really? Do they get the parts from a kit or something?”

  “No, ma’am — I mean, Dani. They make ‘em from scratch, sort of. They’ve got a little factory set up in their main village. They smelt their own glass from sand, and then a bunch of them sit around cutting and polishing them until the lens fit the frames.”

  Stone looked surprised. “Tim, I don’t know what shocks me more about what you just said.”

  Dollish pulled the floater to a stop in front of the VIP visitor’s beach bungalow. “Um, here we are folks. Maybe Dani would like to rest up a bit before she sees the rest of the planet. I had some guys collect all her luggage and bring it down here.” He pointed at a team of six piglets standing by the front door. “Spacers Adams and Chuzzhouli were assigned to act at stewards for the Storovitchs, but Shorty and Sissie chased them away and assigned some of their own, um … people.”

  Stone shook his head. “That’s all well and good, but you can’t just change the subject, Spacer Dollish.”

  Dollish sighed, “Yes, Governor. Sorry. Whadda ya want to know?”

  “First, Tim. They are smelting glass? Who taught them that?”

  Dollish shrugged. “I don’t think anyone taught them. Shorty read the directions about how to do it on his personal assistant and he just told the others.”

  Stone said, “Wait. This is just getting deeper. Maybe you and I should talk about this later. Dani, would you like to go inside and put your feet up?”

  “Yes, I would, but I’m not going anywhere. I want to hear this.”

  Temple nodded, “I must admit I’m more than a little curious myself. Does Shorty have a military grade dataport or a civilian p.a.?”

  Dollish said, “He has a used civilian model, sir. I don’t know where he got it for sure, but I think Whizzer gave it to him as an apology for some poking and prodding that one of the scientists did without asking Shorty’s permission.”

  Temple grunted, “That man is a menace, giving human technology and information access to an alien species.”

  Stone said, “I’ll talk to him about it, Admiral. But, how are they smelting? What are they using for an oven.”

  Dollish looked down at his hands and wouldn’t look up. “I sort of, um, gave them one.” He turned his face away from Temple. “I didn’t think giving them old scrap was against the rules or something. We had an oven in the kitchen that was acting a bit glitchy, so I ordered in a new one. I gave the old one to Shorty and Sissie. They fixed it and have been using it since.”

  Stone said, “What about their sunglasses frames?”

  Dollish said, “A bunch of them catch shuttle rides up to Rusty Hinges every now and then. Commander Butcher let’s ‘em rummage through the scrap piles that accumulate due to the retrofit.”

  Temple glared a warning at Dollish. “Enough about the Rusty Hinges, Spacer.” He glanced at Danielle. “Sorry, Mrs. Storovitch, but please forget about that. It’s classified navy business and it’s best you never mention anyone said anything about it.”

  Danielle said, “Admiral, I may have retired from the navy, but my brain didn’t go to mush. I don’t care that you’ve captured an enemy spaceship and your tearing it apart for intel. My husband is a retired EMIS agent. He heard all about your retrofit of an enemy ship on Brickman’s Station when we stopped off there and he heard it from a bartender. What he couldn’t find out was why. I’m not curious about it. I’ve had all of the navy business I care to hear about.” She glanced at Dollish. “Tim mentioned the piglet’s main village. I want to know more about these villages.”

  Dollish looked up in surprise. “Sure, they got all sorts of little towns and villages scattered all over by Cyrus Bay on the leeward side of the island.” He looked at Stone. “Where do you think they live? No one ever built them their own barracks, so they built their own. They’ve practically turned the whole valley over there into one big garden. Where do you think all our fresh vegetables come from, sir?”

  Stone shook his head. “Maybe I’ve been locked up in my office too long and need to get out some.”

  Peebee wonked. “Mama should go over for one of the piglet’s parties.”

  Jay lay her head in Stone’s lap. “They play games and give us lots of food. They do it a lot.”

  Stone didn’t want to publicize he and the drascos regularly conversed and he’d gotten quite good at answering them without directly speaking to them, “Well, Tim, maybe we should take a drive over there soon. Maybe you can drive me over if they have a party, or a cookout, or something soon.”

  Danielle said, “That sounds like a fun trip, but first I have a private, encoded message for you from the emperor. I don’t know how he knew Ivan and I were going to make a trip here, but he sent me a message to give to you. I’m anxious to get rid of it, so you should listen to it before you do anything else.”

  CHAPTER FIVE

  Stone couldn’t contain his grin when he came back into his sitting room. Storovitch was still at the beach, Dollish had rushed back to his kitchen to put together snacks for Danielle and Temple. The two were relaxing in Stone’s overstuffed chairs. Drinks sat sweating on small wicker tables. Danielle had one of Shorty’s specialty fruit smoothies and Temple had one of Sissie’s alcoholic wonders on ice, but neither of the piglets was in the room.

  Jay and Peebee lay in their usual spot, surrounding his chair. He plopped down and propped his feet up on Peebee. She twisted around and pulled his shoes off, putting his feet back up on her knee.

  Jay said, “We’ve been listening, Mama. Dani and Admiral Temple just talked about traveling and going places. They both like Risa, but neither of them liked Qiinder.”

  Peebee said, “I like it here, but I want to travel too. Can we go travel, Mama?”

  Stone had been so anxious to take a vacation with Allie he hadn’t even thought about taking his drascos with him. Their plan had been to leave them in the care of 1LT Hammermill and Corporal Barb Tuttle. He didn’t know if the drascos would enjoy Peach’s Rest, but he should have at least thought to ask them. Maybe now he could take them. He was going to miss his cattle hauler out of Brickman’s Station, but he was sure he could make some connections that could accommodate him, Jay and Peebee. He stopped and realized that if he took Jay and Peebee, he would need to take their daughters as well. Traveling with eight drascos would be a challenge, but nothing his family money couldn’t overcome.

  Temple asked, “Well, Governor Stone, did you review the message? Anything you care to share?”

  Danielle said, “Anything you can share? Let’s not be giving away any emperor confidences, Governor Stone.”

  Stone laughed. “I’m sorry, Dani. I don’t mean to laugh at you, but that is the crux of the matter.
”

  Temple said, “Out with it, Ensign. What is the crux?”

  “Yes, Admiral. I’m no longer the governor of Allie’s World and the surrounding system. I’ve been relieved of my position by emperor fiat. I’m just a normal navy ensign now.”

  Temple snorted. “You may not be governor, Ensign Stone, but you are far from being a normal ensign. You and your family still own sixty-five percent of this whole solar system, not to mention being the chief heir to the largest privately held fortune in human space.”

  Stone shook his head, “Excuse me, Admiral. I don’t want to contradict you, but the chief heir is my mother. I’m in line behind her.”

  Both Temple and Danielle made rude noises, expressing their disbelieve.

  “Anyway, Admiral. I have been set aside for a new appointee. That means I’m at your disposal for whatever duties you assign me.”

  Danielle said, “Before you two discuss your next deployment, I have a question or two. I may only be a minority owner of Allie’s World, but I do own twenty-five percent of this planet —”

  “And the surrounding solar system.” Stone added.

  “And the surrounding solar system. So, I have a personal interest in who the emperor is appointing to run things. I don’t want my fortune in the hands of some political hack who’ll give away the goats and the barn door to boot.”

  Temple said, “I’m being reassigned soon, but I’m sure my replacement will be able to work quite well with whoever the emperor appoints.”

  Dani rolled her eyes. No one believed Temple’s politically correct statement, knowing that rarely did the military get along with civilian authorities. “So, who is going to be running things?”

  Stone grinned. “You are. However, according to the emperor’s message, you’re not going to be Governor Storovitch. He’s been after me for quite a while to upgrade the appointment in a manner that takes control of the planet out of the hands of politicians.” He tossed the message crystal to Danielle. “You check this for yourself. I’ve decoded it and removed the password protection. What Emperor Garza has ordered is for you to take over as — well, right now — as queen. So, may I be the first to say, long live Queen Danielle Elizabeth Wright Storovitch, queen of Allie’s World and the system surrounding her. May your reign be long and fruitful!”