Without Compromise

by Riker, Becky

  “He’s having an allergic reaction to mushrooms.”

  Brandon’s eyes shot to the woman, “You poisoned me?”

  “You were trying to kill me,” she reminded him rather weakly as she moved further away.

  “Subject unarmed – going into anaphylactic shock,” Tag hurried to the door and opened it.

  Brandon fell, gasping, from his chair.

  Harry came running up the stairs with a first aid kit from the car. He pulled an epi pen from the side pocket, uncapped it, and shoved it into Brandon’s thigh.

  Brandon was breathing normally within a minute. Harry left to go direct the emergency team to the apartment.

  Josie was in the door as soon as Harry moved out of the way. Molly flew into her arms. Lowell gave them a moment to hold each other before ushering them over to Tag’s apartment.

  “This wasn’t exactly how I anticipated spending my evening,” Jeremy crawled in the window.

  Tag helped Brandon to the couch, “How’d you even get up here, Granger?”

  “Josie and I worked on it a few times over on the other side. She should come and teach a class.”

  Tag laughed as he went to secure the weapon that still lay under a small desk, “I’d like to see you try to get funding for that.”

  “Maybe she’ll do it for free,” Jeremy suggested. “She does have a vested interest in keeping the department safe.”

  Tag felt a twinge in the region of his heart.

  “No,” he scowled at the sandwich he was bagging . “She doesn’t.”

  CHAPTER SEVENTEEN

  Josie sat on Tag’s couch, holding her sister. She felt guilty for not seeing the truth three years ago. Her sister had been pregnant, and Josie had never known. Molly had suffered an abusive relationship, and Josie had accepted the explanation that Brandon was just too aggressive.

  “I can hear your thoughts,” Molly leaned away from Josie.

  Josie handed her another tissue, “You cannot.”

  “The first time he ever hit me was the time I lost the baby. It was after I broke up with him.”

  Josie was confused.

  Molly sighed. “I told you the truth about why I broke up with him, Josie. I thought he was too aggressive, and I was sure he was going to hit me eventually. I found out I was pregnant after we broke up, and I thought he had a right to know.”

  Josie grasped her sister’s hand, “Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “I didn’t want your pity, Jo. Or your judgment.”

  Josie didn’t know how to respond.

  “After he came to my house and beat me up, I went straight to the hospital. I lost the baby right away.”

  “What did he do to you?” Josie was sure she didn’t want to know.

  “It doesn’t matter anymore.”

  The sound of a cough brought the women’s attention to the doorway.

  “Hey, Tag,” Josie didn’t rise.

  “The team just needs to get some things out of here, and then you can have the place to yourselves.”

  The men filed in and began gathering some items.

  “You’re going to have to come down to the station tomorrow to answer some questions,” he sat down across from the sisters.

  Molly sniffled, “They aren’t going to make me come now?”

  He shook his head, “Until they test the sandwich, there’s no proof that he was even reacting to that.”

  Josie figured he was taking it easy on Molly.

  “Just don’t leave town, right?”

  Josie’s quip was intended to lighten, but Tag’s nod gave it a new gravity.

  Molly bit her lip, “Will I need a lawyer?”

  He expelled a rush of air, “Couldn’t hurt.”

  “I know a couple who wouldn’t be expensive but would be good,” Tag offered as he stood up. “I’ll get you their names.”

  Molly nudged her sister, so Josie stood and went to Tag.

  “I . . .thank you, Tag,” she felt the tears threatening again.

  He squeezed her shoulder, “You’re welcome, Josie.”

  She wanted more than the hand that rested on her shoulder. She wanted to throw herself into his arms and bury her face in his chest. She wanted the security of Tag’s arms wrapped tightly around her.

  Josie met his eyes, wondering if he still loved her or if he had moved on to someone else. He seemed to understand what she was asking.

  “I’m going to be here, Josie,” he whispered. “If you need me to take down a gunman, open a window,” he leaned closer, “or if you just want to talk. I’m going to be here.”

  She swallowed. How could loving this man be wrong?

  “Josie,” Molly’s hand touched her sister’s shoulder. “I’m going home.”

  Tag turned to her, “Are you sure? You’re welcome to stay here – both of you. I’m going down to the station to fill out some paperwork anyway.”

  Molly shook her head, “I need to go home. I’ve got a breakfast tomorrow.”

  He let her pass.

  Josie turned to clean up the mess of tissues.

  Tag helped his guys get their stuff out of his apartment.

  “You wanna catch a ride with me?” Jeremy asked as he stood in the doorway with the last of the equipment.

  Tag looked at him and nodded.

  Josie started to follow Molly to the apartment across the hall, but Tag grabbed her arm to stop her.

  “You okay?”

  She nodded, “A little shaken, but I think I’ll go help Molly clean up and cook for her catering job tomorrow.”

  He didn’t let go. Josie felt a bubble of panic rise up from her belly to her throat. If he didn’t release her soon, she was going to burst into tears.

  “Josie,” he glanced at Molly’s door, “I’m going to be back in a couple hours. Will you be okay until then?”

  She needed to tell him she would be okay, and he didn’t have to worry about her, but the words wouldn’t come out. She just nodded.

  Tag leaned down and kissed her on the cheek and then left.

  Josie knocked on Molly’s door.

  “Come in,” she didn’t look like she had been crying more. Josie wasn’t sure that was a good thing.

  “Did you call Mom and Dad?”

  Molly nodded, “I left a message that I had to talk to them.”

  “Oh, that’s right. They’re at the benefit tonight.”

  “You wanna help with some egg bakes?”

  Josie washed her hands as an answer.

  They worked mostly in silence. Finally, Molly turned to her sister.

  “Go ahead and ask.”

  Josie shook her head, “There’s nothing to ask. It’s pretty much all been spelled out.”

  Molly wiped her hands on her apron, “He’s the only man I ever slept with.”

  Josie kept chopping peppers, “I didn’t figure you slept with Dave.”

  “Because he was too good to do something like that?”

  Josie stopped and looked at her sister, “I didn’t say that,” she went on quickly, “and I wasn’t even thinking that. I’m sure temptation comes to both believers and unbelievers.”

  She resumed chopping, “I think Dave would have told Dad, though.”

  Molly went back to the dough she was rolling, pensive.

  “Is this why you won’t date Dave? You don’t want him to know?”

  “He knows,” Molly didn’t look up. “I told him I couldn’t date him because I had slept with another man.”

  Josie wondered when that had occurred.

  “He didn’t care,” Molly shook her head. “Well, he did at first, but then he came back and told me it didn’t matter to him.”

  “That was. . .” Josie didn’t know how to finish.

  “I know,” Molly sniffed. “And he even apologized for being so harsh when he found out.”

  “So, what’s wrong? You just don’t love him?”

  “I do,” Molly turned quickly, “but he’s too good for me.”

  Josie
shook her head, “That’s not the truth. You made a mistake, Mol. Don’t let it ruin your life. And Dave’s.”

  Molly sniffled again and went back to what she was doing.

  “Can’t you just go and, I don’t know, just date him for a while, Molly. Maybe see a counselor.”

  “I don’t know what good that will do. He deserves a pure wife, and I can’t be that for him.”

  Josie sat down heavily, “I don’t think you can be the judge of that, Molly.”

  “Yes, I can. He’d always look at me that way – like I was tainted.”

  “You know that is your own perception of your sin. It isn’t how Dave sees you, and it isn’t how God sees you.”

  Molly placed a towel over the dough, “I hear what you’re saying, Josie. In fact, it’s what I’ve been telling myself for three years, but I can’t make myself believe it. And no matter how long I dated Dave, I wouldn’t change my perception. I can’t get his hopes up like that, Josie. I just can’t.”

  Molly fell silent then. Josie decided not to push her.

  “I guess that’s all I can do tonight,” Molly slid a tray into the fridge. “Besides that, it’s almost ten.

  She sighed, “Thanks, Josie.”

  “I didn’t have to be anywhere.”

  Molly laughed, but it was not a happy sound, “So you may as well help me get away from my crazed ex-boyfriend, find out that I was in an abusive relationship, discover that I’m not a virgin, and then whip up four breakfast casseroles.”

  “Anytime.”

  “You’d better get over to Tag’s place.”

  Josie snorted, “I’m not going to Tag’s place, Molly. In fact,” she slung a purse over her shoulder, “I need to get out of the neighborhood before he gets back.”

  “Speaking of giving a guy a chance,” Molly smirked at her sister.

  “Yeah,” Josie turned the doorknob, “because dating a guy who wasn’t a Christian worked so well for you.”

  Molly folded her arms across her chest, “Tag is nothing like Brandon.”

  Josie knew that, but it didn’t mean that she had any business dating a man who couldn’t share her faith.

  “See ya.”

  She walked out into the hall as the front door was opening. Disappointment and relief warred within her when she realized it was Al.

  “You been here all this time, Josie?” he watched her come down the stairs.

  “Yeah. They had me holed up in Tag’s apartment in case they needed me for something.”

  “That Tag – he’s quite the guy, huh?”

  Josie raised an eyebrow.

  “You just meet him?” Al was trying so hard to sound nonchalant.

  “A few months ago, actually. I think we didn’t meet before that because of our work schedules.”

  “And you were in California for a while,” Al supplied.

  “Yeah.”

  “So, you dating him now?”

  Josie sucked at her teeth, “Goodnight, Al. Hope you can sleep after all that excitement.”

  She hurried into the entry and ran into a solid object.

  “Hey,” he didn’t set her back from him, but wrapped his arms around her. “No need to bowl me over.”

  “Tag,” she pressed her palms to his chest. “I didn’t see you there.”

  “That’s what they all say,” he released her.

  She stepped further from him. “I’m sorry, but I need to get home.”

  He dropped his head and rubbed a palm over the back of his neck.

  “It’s not that,” she began but then looked at Al who was watching the interchange with great interest. Josie grabbed Tag’s elbow and dragged him outside.

  “Tag,” she slid her hand down his forearm to grasp his fingers, “you were amazing today, and I am so grateful for you.”

  He studied their joined hands, “But you haven’t changed your mind?”

  “I’m so confused, Tag.”

  She thought a moment and then shook her head.

  “No,” she squeezed his fingers and then let go, “I’m not confused. I’m conflicted. I want you despite what I know is best.”

  Tag looked past her, “And I’m definitely not what’s best.”

  “Not for me.”

  “Because I’m not clean and pure,” there was a little more bite to his voice than Josie had heard before.

  “Because you don’t have any desire to become clean, Tag. Because you don’t see your need for a Savior.”

  He made eye contact, “Molly isn’t a virgin either.”

  Josie felt like throwing up. She had suspected that Tag had been with other women, but the subject hadn’t really come up. Assuming it and hearing it stated definitively were two very different things.

  “Isn’t it hypocritical to expect one thing of her and another of me?”

  “This isn’t about . . .that, Tag. It’s about how clean your heart is.”

  “Right.”

  “It isn’t about what you’ve done or haven’t done, Tag.”

  He sighed, “I hear what you’re saying, Jo, but I’m not buying it.”

  She frowned.

  “If you felt about me the way I feel about you, it wouldn’t matter what my beliefs were.”

  “Tag,” she grasped his face, “I’m only going to have a chance to say this once, so you’d better listen.”

  He tightened his posture.

  “I love you. I tried not to, but I just couldn’t stop myself.”

  His scowl shifted to a grin.

  “But I am not going to date you. I’m not even going to hang out with you. I’m just going to walk away, because you and I don’t share the same faith, and I’m afraid I’d eventually give in and let you take first place in my heart over God.”

  Josie dropped her hands and spun away from him. She was a little concerned that he would chase her or call after her, but he didn’t. He just let her walk away.

  CHAPTER EIGHTEEN

  Tag felt like punching something. He hadn’t been this frustrated since back when he was put on administrative leave. The woman told him she loved him, but all he could do was stand there like an idiot. She had walked away, and he couldn’t think of a thing to do or stay to stop her.

  Tag went back inside and knocked on Molly’s door.

  “Just wanted to know how you’re doing.”

  “I’m good. Did you see Josie before she left?”

  He didn’t bother answering.

  “I’ll take that scowl as a no,” Molly spoke to his back as he unlocked his own door.

  Tag went in and cleaned up his apartment. His team had mostly ignored the beer bottles on the table, but Lowell had, at one point, picked one up and raised an eyebrow in question. Tag had just turned his back on his sergeant. The bottles were still sitting on the table as a reminder of his wasted afternoon.

  In truth, Tag would have to admit that he was drinking more than he used to. He didn’t think he was verging on becoming an alcoholic, but maybe all alcoholics felt that way in the beginning. He dumped the remaining contents of his third bottle down the sink.

  He decided to lay off the booze for a couple weeks to ensure he was not really dependent on it. If he found himself craving it, he determined he would get some help.

  He knew he would not be able to sleep, so he grabbed his gym bag and headed down to the station.

  To his relief, Tag discovered that he did not need the beer. He hardly thought about it once he shoved the bottles to the back of his fridge. A couple weeks after beginning his experiment, he decided to get rid of the beer altogether.

  “Thanks,” Al was happy to take them off his hands.

  “Giving up the bottle, Tag?” Molly walked by on her way into her apartment.

  He turned and realized she was holding onto two coolers. He took the larger one from her.

  “Were you already out on a job?” he followed her up the stairs.

  “A pre-wedding brunch,” she set down her cooler to open the door.

  He c
arried her cooler in and set it down, then turned to go.

  “You can’t just change stuff and be good enough for her.”

  Tag stopped and looked at Molly, “What do you mean?”

  Molly sighed, “She doesn’t want you to change your behavior, Tag. She isn’t turning you down because you aren’t good enough for her.”

  He didn’t have to ask, because he was certain Molly was going to enlighten him on Josie’s reasons for rejecting him.

  “You know what you’re missing, Tag. You don’t need me to outline it for you.”

  “I get it,” he agreed. “Sitting in church once or twice a week will make me a better person.”

  “No amount of sitting in church is going to make you a better person, Tag. The change has to come from your heart.”

  Tag couldn’t say he didn’t see that coming.

  “I gotta go, Molly.”

  “Catch you later, Tag.”

  He was glad she didn’t seem upset by his dismissal of her faith – again. He would have been willing to go to church for Josie. She was worth it. But, despite his ignorance on matters of religion, he knew she was looking for something more than that. He wasn’t sure exactly what it was, but he knew it was more than that.

  He doubted it was going to make a difference, but he was going to try to be the man he knew Josie deserved.

  CHAPTER NINETEEN

  Josie allowed Hudson to check her harnesses. She still wasn’t completely comfortable with guys messing around with her backside, but she’d rather deal with a little embarrassment than a fall because of faulty gear.

  “Looks good, Josie,” he pulled her a little tighter. “How does it feel?”

  “Snug. Has Brent said when we’re going to start shooting?”

  Hudson muttered something under his breath about the ad company and walked away.

  Josie was grateful for the work, but she always found commercials to be a bit aggravating. She never knew from one job to another what to expect. Even if the director was the same, the ad company or client could make a mess of the shoot.

  Half an hour later, Brent was ready to begin. Josie easily completed her leap from the building to the car. She was about to jump from the car to the building when she felt an unexpected tug on her lowest line. It sent her off balance. She attempted to regain control, but whoever was handling her lines must have noticed her disequilibrium and attempted to compensate. She was spun upside down and thrown to the pavement alongside the car.