by Penelope Sky
“Back to Scotland?”
“Yeah. If you need some time to wrap up things with your job, I can wait. I can do most of my work from my laptop.”
He expected me to drop my life and take off with him again—typical. “I have a life here now, Crewe. I have a job I like, and I’m starting classes again in the fall. I said I wanted to start over, not go back to how we were.”
His gaze turned searing, pregnant with disappointment. “Then how do you expect to do this? You know I can’t move here.”
“And I can’t move there either.”
His eyes narrowed even further. “You were prepared to live there when you stayed in Scotland.”
“I know. But you let me go. I meant what I said, Crewe. That was your only chance. You had four weeks to change your mind, but you didn’t.”
He pulled his hand off my thigh, his gaze turning hostile. “Now look who’s stubborn.”
I let the jab wash over my skin. “I’ve already sacrificed enough for you, in case you’ve forgotten. How would you feel if I asked you to walk away from your business, your home, and your friends just because I said so? I know you, Crewe. You couldn’t give up your life the way I gave up mine. You would never be happy.”
“Well, I won’t be happy with you living all the way here by yourself.”
“I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about me.”
“Now that I’ve seen you walk home alone at night, I don’t believe that.”
“If you attacked me, I would have stabbed you in the eye.”
“And I would have taken you just like I did last time,” he said coldly.
This conversation was taking a steep nose dive. “Those are my terms, Crewe.”
“If this is a relationship, we both get terms.”
“Yes, you’re right. But I’m not leaving. I’m finishing school like I planned.”
“And how will we see each other?”
“When I have breaks, I’ll fly out and see you. When you have time, you can fly out and see me.”
Now he looked like he wanted to strangle me. “Is this a joke? I’m not doing a long-distance relationship. Those never work. I want you in my bed every single night. I want us to be together, not on different continents. Your stubbornness is annoying.”
I scoffed. “You’re one to talk.”
Crewe clenched his jaw tightly. “You’re a bright woman. You know your plan is unrealistic and unattainable. That’s not a relationship. That’s a long-distance booty call. I’m always down for a hookup, but not like this.”
I wasn’t stupid. I knew what I was offering was a little ridiculous. But I was tired of being the one to sacrifice everything for the relationship. I gave up six months of my life for this man. I wasn’t giving up anything else. “I don’t have a better idea.”
He leaned back into the couch and sighed, his annoyance filling up the apartment like the heater on a cold day.
I didn’t look at him because I didn’t want to see his anger. I’d looked at it enough times.
He sat up again. “What do you need, exactly?”
“What?”
“What are the specific things you need? School, right? What else?”
“Independence. My own apartment. My freedom…”
“Okay, you can have all of that in Scotland. We can enroll you in a medical program there, we can get you a flat, and you can do whatever you want. How about that?”
It was the only reasonable compromise I could think of. But it still wasn’t what I had planned. “That would mean I’d be living there forever…because then I can only practice medicine in the UK. I can’t just transfer that back to America. I’d have to retake a few classes.”
Crewe stared at me with an unreadable expression. “We’re both making sacrifices here.”
“What sacrifices are you making?” I demanded.
“Everything. You think I want you to live alone? You think I want you to be at school all day? If I had it my way, we would go back to exactly how we were. So yes, I am making sacrifices.”
“But this isn’t going to last forever. I’m moving all the way there and going to school, and then when you get married, I’m going to have to move back and redo a year or two of medical school.”
“Who said anything about marriage?” he asked.
“You told me you have to marry someone of your stature. I’m obviously not the right match.”
He rubbed his fingers across his chin and sighed. “That’s the last thing on my mind right now. Let’s not worry about what’s gonna happen down the road. Let’s just focus on now.”
“That’s kinda difficult for me to do…”
He rested his hands on his thighs and brought his hands together. He bowed his head and stared at his hands, the corded veins extending up his forearms and across the back of his palms. “All I know is…I’ve hated being without you. And if I feel that way now, I’m sure it’ll be worse as time goes on. I really can’t picture myself with anyone else right now. So I say we don’t worry about it.”
It was nothing concrete, but it was sweet nonetheless. “Okay.”
“Okay? Does that mean you’ll move to Scotland?” He didn’t keep the hope out of his voice.
I couldn’t believe I was going to make the sacrifice, but there were no other options. I could stay here, but the city didn’t feel the same anyway. I wanted to have my life the way it was before Crewe took me, but that wasn’t possible. So much had changed. I wasn’t the same person I used to be. “Yeah…it does.”
He grabbed my hand and gave me a squeeze. “It’s gonna be an uphill battle for us, so at least we figured that part out.”
“Uphill battle?”
“Ariel will never approve of this.”
I respected her as his business partner, but I didn’t understand why she had so much power over him. “This is your personal life, not hers. I don’t understand why her opinion matters to you.”
“It matters because she warned me about you—and she was dead on about it.”
I looked away.
“It matters because you distracted me from what’s important. It matters because some of my men died because of you. It matters because everything changed the second you walked into my life. They don’t trust you, so they don’t trust me. That’s why it fucking matters.” He pulled his hand away.
I didn’t know what to say. I’d already apologized for everything that happened, and I didn’t see the point in doing it again. Now we needed to concentrate on moving forward. “Then how is this gonna work?”
He didn’t respond for nearly a minute. “It’ll just take some time. She’ll get over it—eventually.”
“And Joseph?”
“What about him?”
“I can’t have my brother and the man I love hating each other.”
He stared at his hands, his shoulders straight but heavy. “I don’t know what you expect me to do about that. It is what it is. He’s not gonna change, and I’m certainly not going to change.”
Maybe a reconciliation would come in time. Joseph stole money from Crewe and then shot him. It would take Crewe a long time to let that go.
He leaned back against the couch and looked at me, his brown eyes no longer annoyed. He stared at me the way he did on the sidewalk, like he’d rather be doing something other than talking.
I knew what was coming next, but I didn’t know how to circumvent it. We couldn’t sleep in my bed, not when it was covered in Roy’s cologne. “Where are you staying?”
His eyes immediately narrowed. “With you.”
“I mean, what hotel?”
“It’s down the road. Why?”
“How about we go there?”
“Why would we go there if we’re here?” He patted the cushion of the sofa. “This place is comfortable enough for what I have in mind.”
I missed sex with Crewe, along with all the other perks of our relationship. I would love to get lost in him again, to feel that heavenly stretching his body caused. B
ut the sex wouldn’t feel so good if he figured out a man had been here less than twenty-four hours ago.
Like the universe was out to get me, there was a knock on the door.
At this time of night, it could only be one person.
Crewe’s eyes darted to the door, and that typical look of threat grew in his features. His eyes turned dark and empty, hiding all of his thoughts like he’d just erected a wall. His arms flexed in reaction, and his shoulders rounded in preparation for the problem that just emerged. “Are you expecting someone?”
“Uh…yeah.” I had nothing to feel bad about, but this was still the most awkward situation in the world. I knew Crewe had been with other women, but at least I didn’t have the displeasure of looking at them.
His eyes narrowed in a sinister way, understanding the implication of words immediately. “Would you like me to answer the door?” His jaw was clenched harder than I’d ever seen it. It was a miracle he could make out words at all.
“No.” I jumped out of the chair and headed to the door, wishing the couch wasn’t so close to the entryway. The couch faced the opposite way, but all Crewe had to was turn around if he wanted to get a look at Roy.
This was bad.
I hustled through the doorway and shut the door behind me.
Roy was in gray sweatpants and a t-shirt, his hair still damp from a shower. He’d just gotten off work and probably stopped by on the way. “Hey. You’re still up?”
“Yeah, I got off work late.”
“Cool.” He smiled, one dimple forming on his cheek.
“But…I’m gonna have to take a rain check with you. A permanent one. I told you I just got out of a relationship…but now I’m back in the relationship.”
“Oh, really?” he asked. “The guy finally got his head on straight. Good for him. You’re a serious catch.”
I’d just blown him off, but he had a great attitude about it. “I’m sorry about this…”
“Don’t be. I knew it was too good to be true.” He released a hollow chuckle. “Well, good luck.” He extended his hand.
I shook it. “Thanks. You too.”
He walked away and disappeared from the hallway.
When I walked back inside, I was surprised to see Crewe where I left him. He had an angry side to him, and I was surprised I hadn’t witnessed it. He was possessive and jealous, but he kept his rage under control. “He’s gone.”
Crewe rose to his full height, over six feet of muscle and man. His jeans made his ass look great, and the sleeves of his shirt were tight on his arms. His body was just as sexy as his face. When he faced me, he still wore that grim expression of anger. “Let’s go to my place.”
He must have figured out why I didn’t want to stay here. At least I didn’t have to spell it out for him. “Just let me grab a few things…”
We got out of the car and stood on the sidewalk of the hotel he was staying at. Hardly anyone was on the sidewalk at this time of night, but to the left stood a man in a black trench coat with a black beanie over his head. He was taping a paper to the pole of the streetlight.
Crewe whispered something to the driver and slipped him some money.
I kept watching the man, wondering what he was posting at this time of night. When he was finished with the paper, he walked toward me and held out a sheet. “I’m sorry to bother you…have you seen this woman?”
I took the paper and examined the woman’s features. She had dark brown hair and a pretty face. She was an engineer for the city but went missing a few weeks ago. Her name was Pearl. “I’m sorry, I don’t.”
Crewe emerged from nowhere and placed his body between the two of us. “Can I help you?”
“He’s just trying to find his friend,” I said.
“Have you seen her?” The man held the paper out to Crewe. “She’s a really good friend of mine…disappeared on a trip to Mexico. I keep thinking she might turn up, but there’s been no luck.”
“Sorry, man.” Crewe pulled me into his side and guided me to the entrance of the hotel.
“I hope you find her,” I said over my shoulder before we walked inside and took the elevator to the room.
His hotel room looked like more of a penthouse. It was bigger than a home for a family of four, with more amenities than he would ever use, but dukes seemed to travel in style. It had a full kitchen, two living rooms, and three bedrooms.
What did he need all of that for? “It’s nice.”
He carried my bag into the master bedroom and set it on the edge of the bed. I would have carried it myself, but he insisted on handling it. He slipped off his shoes and immediately began to undress. Once the shirt was off, his perfect torso was revealed. It was lined with grooves of strong muscle, delicious skin, and the large scar that sat above his heart.
I stilled as I stared at it, seeing the strange lines that stretched out around it. The scars were more noticeable because of his white skin. It contrasted like white font on black paper. It was difficult to look at because I remembered exactly how it had appeared when the blood was soaking into his shirt as he lay on the ground. I’d ripped his shirt in half to stabilize the wound as much as I could, but nothing could stop the profuse bleeding.
I was surprised he hadn’t bled out and died.
He undid his jeans and pushed them to his ankles. When he was in just his boxers, he walked to the bed and yanked the sheets back.
I couldn’t look at him anymore. Tears formed in my eyes when I remembered the horrifying night. When I got him to the hospital, I didn’t know if he was going to live. I thought the love of my life was going to fade away before we even had a real chance to enjoy each other.
I hated to let anyone see me cry, especially Crewe. It was an act of weakness, and I never let anyone see me that way. I moved into the hallway and found the bathroom. I darted inside and shut the door behind me, getting a moment of privacy so I could let my tears fall. Even though Crewe made a full recovery, I would never erase the memory of the moment his body jerked and fell to the floor. The strongest man I knew had been crippled by a bullet, and when he lay there dying, he had no motivation to get up again—because of me.
I sank to the floor and leaned against the wall. I hadn’t even turned on the light, and only the crack under the door gave me illumination. Instead of letting myself sob my heart out, I controlled my breathing and steadied my tears, knowing Crewe would check on me if I took too long.
His bare feet appeared at the door a few seconds later, and he lightly rapped his knuckles against the door. “Lovely?”
Another tear escaped when I heard the nickname. It’d been so long since he’d called me that. Lately, it’d only been London—and it wasn’t the same. “I’ll be out in a minute.” I did my best to keep my voice strong so he wouldn’t realize I was sitting on the bathroom floor with tears in the back of my throat.
Crewe opened the door and invited himself inside. He didn’t do a double take when he noticed me on the bathroom floor, as if he already suspected I was there. He kept the door halfway open so some light could come into the room. His thighs were muscular and toned, looking athletic as he moved in his boxers. He moved to the spot beside me against the wall and sat down, his long legs stretching out before him. Naked or clothed, he looked just as beautiful.
I stared straight ahead, not wanting to look at his scar again.
“Talk to me,” he whispered. He placed his arm around me and pulled me into his side, letting my face move to his shoulder.
I closed my eyes when I felt his warm skin against my cheek. My face automatically turned, and I pressed a kiss to his shoulder, tasting the skin I used to devour every night. My arm hooked through his, and I closed my eyes, comforted by his presence.
The bathroom had beige tile with matching sinks. A large walk-in shower stood in the corner, and a nice display of towels hung on the rack. The sounds of our breathing echoed in the enclosure, and the light from the hallway stretched across our feet.
“I just…I wa
s so scared I was going to lose you.”
“I’m right here, Lovely.”
“I know. But when it was happening, I’d never been so scared. It was like losing my parents all over again, but worse. It was worse than when I thought I was going to Bones. It felt like the end of everything.”
“It’d take a lot more than a bullet to kill me.”
“But it almost did kill you. And seeing all the blood…and the fact that you wouldn’t get up.”
“I was devastated,” he whispered. “But you got me up.”
“No, Ariel did.”
“Because she threatened to kill you. I had to get up. I had to do the right thing for you. I’ve always put you first…even if you don’t realize it.”
“I do.” I kissed his shoulder again. “I’m so sorry about everything, Crewe. I never wanted you to get hurt. If something happened to you…I wouldn’t have been able to go on.”
“But nothing happened to me.” He turned his head and pressed a kiss to my forehead. “I’m here—with you.”
7
Crewe
I got the best night of sleep in a long time.
My arms were locked around her body so she couldn’t slip away from me in the middle of the night. I wasn’t afraid of her slipping away, but my subconscious was. I was tired of the loneliness, tired of the nightmares.
She was my cure.
I woke up the following morning and saw her wrapped tightly around me, clinging to me as if she had the same fear. She was in my t-shirt and her panties, her long and slender legs brushing against mine under the sheets. I didn’t move because I didn’t want to wake her up. I entertained myself by watching her sleep, watching her chest rise and fall rhythmically.
When I returned to Scotland with London in tow, I knew that would cause a rift between Ariel and me. None of my other employees cared for her, not when she was the reason some of the men lost their lives. The only person who did like her was Finley, and that was because he hardly interacted with her.
Honestly, I had no idea what I was doing.