First of the First

by Andrew Maclure

  “So why do you want to lay in the sun?”

  “I’m cold. I’ve just come out of the sea. Like most reptiles, I’m ectothermic so I need to warm up in the sun. Don’t you know anything about physiology?”

  “Not about yours. Alien physiology wasn’t on the curriculum at my school in Romsey. You know, Earth not knowingly having any aliens on it.”

  “You’re the alien here, mammal boy. It’s lucky I haven’t been wounded in action and had to rely on you to treat me.”

  “You’d have been OK. My AI would have told me what to do.”

  “Yeah, I was forgetting. There is some intelligence inside your head. It’s just not your brain.”

  “Just a thought, do you get any benefit from sunshine?”

  “Yeah, it helps me see where I’m going.”

  “No, I meant, health benefit.”

  “Just because I’m green I’m not a vegetable. Oh, my AI has just told me that your species photosynthesizes vitamin D in sunlight, like a plant. That makes sense. I always said if you were marginally less intelligent we would have to water you.”

  “If you fall asleep in the sun, I’m going to bury you alive.”

  “If I have to listen to much more of your crap, I’ll help.”

  Mark lay back and closed his eyes, enjoying the heat of the sun on his body. He smiled as he thought that a year ago, back on Earth, if someone had told him that in a year’s time he would be laying on a beach on a planet god knows how many light years from Earth, swapping insults with an alien soldier who had become one of the closest friends he’d ever had, he would have thought they were crazy. Not to mention him fighting and killing a psychopathic reptile hell-bent on ruling the galaxy, and having his own star ship. And yet, it all seemed quite normal now. He was drifting off to sleep when his AI spoke.

  “Mark, wake up. Sally wants to speak to you.”

  “Tell her I’m busy.” he said sleepily.

  “Do you think that’s a good idea? The request is flagged as urgent. You’re connected.”

  “Hi Sally. You OK?” he asked.

  “Drop what you’re doing and get back here right now, and don’t let Mike out of your sight. Keep her close and have weapons ready.”

  Mark sat up, fully awake now. “Why? What’s she done? Should I restrain her?”

  “Don’t be an idiot. Make sure she’s armed too. Get back here now!”

  “But…” his voice trailed off as he realized that Sally was gone.

  Mike jumped up beside him and leaned down, grabbed his arm and pulled him to his feet. “Come on!” she said, “Get back to the lander. Run!”

  Swimming, and laying on the beach in the sun naked was one thing. Being dragged at a run across a beach two hundred meters to the lander by an overgrown lizard while completely naked was another. “Can’t I put my jumpsuit on first?” Mark pleaded.

  “You can get a fresh one when we’re on board. Come on!” Mike said digging her claws into his wrist.

  Mark could have stopped her, but she seemed to think it was important to get back quickly. “Set a course to Sally’s location please Kate.” he asked his AI.

  “Already done Mark, and I’ve ordered new boots and jumpsuits for both of you. They will be in the synthesizer when you get on board, but we will be making an emergency take off, flight and landing, so you might want to get strapped in as soon as you get inside.”

  “Oh great.” thought Mark. “Now I’m going to have to explain to Sally and her friends why I have been on the beach with Mike and haven’t got any clothes on.”

  Chapter Six

  Urgent Return

  The lander thudded down in front of New Government House just a few meters from Sally, Touren and Bekkreshan. As soon as the landing ramp extended, Sally ran up inside. Mike and Mark were getting up from their seats as she entered.

  “You’re both OK, good. What happened to your clothes? Never mind, you can tell me later. Come on, Touren and Bekkreshan are waiting outside.”

  “I’m going to get dressed first.” Mark said. “You might want to get dressed too.” he said to Mike.

  “I’m more interested in the weapons locker. Are you going to arm yourself or are you going to rely on your concealed weapon?” she replied.

  “Umm, I guess I’ll take a Mark Eight, but why do we need weapons? What’s going on?”

  “I’ve ordered up body armor too. I guess you won’t need any.” Mike answered as she ran to the back of the lander.

  Mark shook his head. “I suppose someone will tell me eventually.” he said, but there was nobody there to hear.

  “Get a bloody move on!” Sally barked from the door. “The First Minister is waiting for us!”

  “I’m not in your army now, you can’t order me about like that anymore. What are you going to do, put me on a charge?”

  “No, but if you want to have sex with me again in the foreseeable future you’ll get going now!”

  Mark snorted in contempt at the threat, but hurried to the synthesizer to get his jumpsuit and boots out.

  Mike was already dressed and pulling on body armor. Mark quickly pulled the fresh jumpsuit and boots on. By the time he was finished, Mike was standing by him with two Mark Eight particle beam weapons. As he pulled his second boot on, she thrust one of the Mark Eights into his hands. “Come on.” she said, leading the way out.

  “Kate, we left our discarded jumpsuits and boots on the beach. Can you do something about them please?” Mark asked his AI.

  “You also left your cola glass and Mikes tea mug. There is a drone on the way from the Swift to collect them and tidy up behind you.”

  “Thanks Kate, you think of everything.”

  “Looking after you is hardly challenging, considering I am one of a class of the most powerful and sophisticated machine intelligences in the known universe.”

  “Are you smarter than the main AI on the Swift, and Mother?”

  “Of course. I’m a People’s AI. You don’t think they would put anything other than the best available technology inside their heads, do you?”

  “I suppose not. I hadn’t thought of that before. But aren’t you a bit underutilized, ordering me drinks and arranging for a drone to tidy up after me?”

  “I do a little more than that Mark, for example, teaching you how to swim and controlling your phase shift protection for your convenience and comfort, but you may rest easy knowing that I can do a lot more than that. Taking over the AI’s at Tk’ng Rm Dach’s fortress for instance.”

  “Don’t you get bored in the meantime?”

  “I’ll explain why not at a more convenient time. You need to focus on the events that affect you right now.”

  All this conversation took place at the speed of thought and was completed by the time Mark reached the landing ramp and exited the lander.

  “Are you planning to tell me what’s going on, or should I just continue blindly following orders, General?” he asked Sally.

  “We’re about to go and meet the First Minister…”

  Mark interrupted, “Why is he so keen to see us now? He was pretty dismissive last time we met him.”

  “That was the old First Minister. He’s been replaced. You remember the Science Minister we met before your attempt at bomb disposal? He’s the First Minister now.”

  “He seemed a reasonable person. I remember he wasn’t very complimentary about the old one. He wants to thank us, does he? What’s so urgent about that?”

  “His assistant was a bit vague, but he mentioned that they have had a visit from a representative of the Herassan Federation.”

  “Mike’s people? What do they want?” Mark asked.

  “The assistant didn’t say, but it has to have something to do with Mike. We’ll find out when we meet the First Minister.”

  “Should we get rid of these weapons?”

  “No, it will show we mean business. I lead the biggest, most powerful independent army in the galaxy. They should expect us to be armed. I have ordered
uniforms for Touren and Bekkreshan from the synthesizer on the lander, Would you grant them access to the weapons locker?” Sally asked.

  “Sure, of course I will. You should be able to do that.”

  “My AI said I don’t have access to weapons.”

  “Right. That should be that you don’t have access to the Swift’s weapons. I’m not clear that I do either, but I’ll make sure you have full access to all non-People’s weapons.” Mark told her, then he spoke to his AI: “Got that Kate?”

  “Yes Mark. Sally now has full access to all non-Peoples weapons plus any others that her AI has made available to her.”

  “What other weapons?”

  “I do not have access to that information. You will have to ask Sally or Alan.”

  “Good grief! I thought as a Friend of the People there wouldn’t be any secrets from me.”

  “You are very naive. If you ask Sally in private, she will probably explain.”

  “Do you know?”

  “No, but I would not provide the information to you if I did.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because it’s personal to Sally.”

  Mark sighed. “OK.”

  Touren and Bekkreshan came down the ramp of the lander, both wearing black army uniform jumpsuits and carrying KE weapons.

  “I feel overdressed.” Mike said, starting to undo her body armor.

  “It would be prudent to keep that on.” Sally said. “For all we know, someone might take a shot at you if the Herassan Federation are involved.”

  “Sally, if Mike stays close to me I can extend my phase shift protection to cover her. Body armor might signal weakness to the Gnn’Athians.”

  “Good idea. Mike, get your armor off and stay close to Mark.” Sally ordered.

  “You’ll need to keep no more than a meter from me, and it would be better if you are touching me.” Mark told Mike.

  “I’m not sure I can hold my breath that long.” she answered.

  Mark grabbed her and pulled her face into his chest. She struggled briefly then collapsed.

  “Is she all right?” Bekkreshan asked.

  “Nothing that a bloody good kick up the arse wouldn’t cure.” Mark replied, pulling Mike up and turning her round.

  She had a big grin on her face. “The overwhelming stench of mammal was too much for me.”

  “How close are you going to stay to me?” Mark asked her.

  Grasping his arm and pulling herself close to his side, Mike answered: “Within a meter, mighty Mark, Friend of the People and slayer of Tk’ng Dach Rm.”

  Sally turned to Touren and Bekkreshan. “Is there anyone in the Boran Medical Emergency and Recovery Group you could recommend who is good at controlling children with cognitive deficits?” Turning to Mike and Mark she said. “Stop fooling around, now! We’re going to see the First Minister and I don’t expect this is going to be good news.”

  Chapter Seven

  The First Minister

  Sally led the way to the New Government House at a brisk march, with Mike and Mark right behind her, weapons down, marching in step with her. Touren and Bekkreshan marched in step behind them.

  As they entered the New Government House reception, the Gnn’Athian armed guards, the apprentice tailor and vehicle licensing clerk, stepped aside to let them through. A slender bird-like Gnn’Athian ran to greet.

  “I am the Personal Assistant to the First Minister. Please follow me, I’ll take you directly to him.”

  He scuttled away straight down the wide corridor behind the reception desk. Sally followed with the others still in formation behind. The Personal Assistant paused for them to catch up, then led the way up a wide flight of stairs, across a landing and stopped before a pair of double doors that looked like they had recently been damaged. He knocked and stepped back. A voice from inside called out “Enter.”

  The First Minister sat behind a large dark wooden desk. As Sally and her entourage entered the First minister stood up. “Thank you for coming, General Sah Lee. It is an honor to have you visit our world again.”

  “It is a pleasure First Minister. I am glad that it is under very different circumstances this time. May I introduce you to Hess An Sur, First Born of the First Family of the Herassan Federation Of The Five Planets, heir apparent to the throne of the Federation.”

  Mike stepped forward, Mark moved forward to stay close to her, but stood slightly behind her.

  The First Minister bowed and said. “It is a great honor to meet you, your majesty, uh, First Born, uh - how should I address you?”

  “Mike would be fine.” she said.

  “Oh, I am sorry, I was under the impression that you were a female.”

  “I am a female, but I am known as Mike, which is a man’s name. I promise you that I am definitely a female of my species.”

  “She’s like the poem.” Mark added.

  “What?” the First Minister said.

  Mike and Sally both gave him inquiring looks.

  “She’s dangerous, like the words from the poem, ‘The female of the species is more dangerous than the male’ by Kipling”

  “By kipling? How do you kipple?” The first Minister asked.

  “No, it’s a poem, by Rudyard Kipling. Look, can we just pretend I didn’t say anything?”

  “That would be best.” Sally said patronizingly.

  “You look very much like that heroic soldier who attempted to defuse the fusion bomb in front of the old Government House. Are you from the same race?” the First Minister asked.

  “He’s the same soldier.” Sally said.

  “Really? How did you survive? We were going to raise a statue in memoriam, but as you are still alive, we won’t bother.”

  “I am Mark, Friend of the People.”

  “Well, I think we are all friends with people.” the First Minister said patronizingly. It seemed to be the day for it. “But how did you survive?” He turned towards Sally and leaning over, whispered in a voice that could be heard and translated by everyone’s AI’s, “He doesn’t seem very bright.”

  Sally leaned forward and whispered back, “I hear that a lot.”

  “I am not a friend of people,” Mark said crossly. “I am a Friend of The People. Have you heard of them? The ancient race who have almost godlike technology? I have a Peoples starship and access to most of their weaponry and defensive systems!”

  The First Minister leaned over to Sally again and whispered: “Is he delusional?”

  Sally leaned forward and whispered back, “No, he is a powerful warrior and apart from the People, a race of beings almost as old as the universe and with technology billions of years ahead of anyone else, Mark is the most powerful person in the galaxy. He can hear everything you are whispering, so it’s probably best not to piss him off any more than you already have.”

  The First Minister looked shocked and stood upright. “I apologize Mark. Appearances can be deceptive. Are all your race great warriors?”

  “Umm, some are, but not in the same way. Like the Gnn’Athians, my race is pre-emergent. I am the only human star traveler.”

  “You are unique? I hope I didn’t offend you, and I hope you will look kindly on us and help protect our world if the invading army come back.”

  “They won’t be back First Minister.” Sally said. “Their leader is dead, slain in hand to hand combat by Mark.”

  The feathers on the First Ministers head sprang upright.

  “That’s an expression of surprise, like you might raise your eyebrows.” Mark’s AI told him.

  Sally continued, “Their military organization has been destroyed and what’s left of his army is being held prisoner by the People on a planet close to the galactic core. Now we have cleared that up, you asked to see us urgently.”

  “Yes, indeed I did. This concerns you, uh, Mike. I have been contacted by Major Bryd Sa Dett of the Herassan Federation Army. He said that you were likely to return here, and when you did, I was to send a message to him so that he cou
ld return to take you back to your family.”

  “Well, that’s nice of him to offer to escort me home, but he is going to be rather disappointed when he finds that I have no intention of going with him.” Mike said.

  “Ah. This is where it gets complicated.” The first Minister gulped and continued, “He said that if you were to come here and left again before he returned, he would punish us with a military attack, and that if you were here but resisted being taken by his task force, he would kill everyone who opposed him.”