The Knight and Knave of Swords

by Fritz Leiber

  All of which went to show, he told himself, how a suddenly triggered lost memory, like a ghost from the grave, could be so real as to blot out completely a poignantly interesting, nastily fascinating present, almost create another present, as it were, for several heartbeats till it had run its course inside his eyes.

  They were between blows in Hisvet's boudoir. The violet wrap was undone just far enough to bare her own top pair of small, palely violet-nippled breasts, and she was holding down to them the tousled head of the dark maid, who was tonguing them industriously under instructions. She broke these off to carol, "To force the unwilling to accept joy is so rewarding! To cause the recalcitrant to discover pleasure in pain is even more so!" The fair maid was doing a rapid little dance in place to contain her pent excitement and rotating the poised white whip in a little circle in time with her flashing toes. Hisvet called gayly to incite her on, "Remember, Foursie, the slut had her fingers up you prying around, not gently, I'll warrant," and the clock plashed and the whip whistled and thwacked and Threesie joined in the dance.

  When Hisvet let up her head, the dark maid said rapidly, "If you'll have her stop just for a while, demoiselle, I'll lick your ass most lovingly, I promise," and Hisvet replied, "All in good time, girl," and reaching back in an excess of arousal, caught hold with thumb and forefinger knuckle of her by the midst of her maiden mound and gave it the same sort of pincher's tweak as she had the maid's flesh midway between her breasts, where a blue bruise now showed; and the dark maid squealed muffledly.

  But then, just as Foursie stayed her dance to strike and the Mouser's erection grew almost unbearably hard, Hisvet cried sharply, "Break off the whipping, Foursie! Don't strike again!" and the maid obeyed with a spasmodic effort, and Hisvet ducked her head and shoulders out from under Threesie's arched front and stared searchingly at the wall by the waterclock just where the whip had hung, her nostrils flaring and with blue-and-pink-mottled tongue showing in her open mouth. She announced raptly and anxious, "I sense the near presence of Death or a close relative, some murderous demon lord or deadly demoness. It must have scented your ecstasy of torment, Threesie, and come hunting."

  The Mouser felt they were all staring straight at him, then noted that their gazes went in slightly different directions: Hisvet's intense but cool; Foursie's shocked and terrified as she backed away, dropping the pristine white whip; Threesie's somewhat not yet grasping her good fortune, as she stood in bent position in her sagging and worked-up black tunic stretched back toward her rear, crisscrossed with red welts, and with her knees still straight.

  Hisvet continued, "Run, Foursie, and warn my father of this menace. Bid him haste here, bringing his wand and sigils. Nay, do not stay to dress or hunt a towel, as if you were a simpering virgin. Go as you are. And speed! There's danger here, you witlet!"

  Then, turning her furious attention to Threesie, "Quit standing there so docilely bent over with legs invitingly spread, lamebrain, all ready for the slavering hounds of death to mount you. Spring to and defend my rear, mind cripple!"

  Just then the Mouser felt what seemed a large centipede crawl across his left thigh, somehow insinuating itself between his flesh and the grainy earth encasing him, and then march down his rigid, like-embedded cock, and settle itself in a ring round his tumescent glans. And there swung in round his head from the other side, moving through the earth effortlessly, a face like a beautiful skull tightly covered by blue-pied, chalky white skin with eyes that were intent red embers, and pressed itself against his own face closely from forehead to chin, so he felt through her blue lips mashing his her individual two ranks of teeth. He realized that the centipede was the bone tips of her skeletal hand (the other pressed the back of his neck at the base of his own skull) and whose bony fingertips now moved slightly upon his stiff member, inducing it to spend one drop, but one drop only, of its load, giving him a sickening, joyless jolt of heavy black pain that left him weak and gasping. But no sooner had that pain begun to fade down when the slim bone fingers moved and the second jolt came equal to the first, and after agonizing pauses the third and fourth.

  The stangury! The worst pain that a man can suffer, he'd once heard, when urine must be voided drop by drop—this was the same, except it was his seed.

  And it kept on.

  His wavering mind confused it with the plashes of the water-clock. But Threesie had suffered only eight or nine stripes at most. How many drops would it take to discharge his heavy load? And render his member flaccid? Two score hundred?

  The violet-hung boudoir and Hisvet and her crew were gone. All that remained for vision was the vermilion volume lit by pain's hot ember eyes and his phosphorescent mask, hell in a very small place.

  In a voice that was rough, rasping, infinitely dry, sardonic-tender, Death's sister whispered throatily, "My very own dear love. My dearest one."

  As his torment continued, his wavering consciousness and gasping and trembling general weakness warned him the end was near. Despite the continuing jolts of agony, he concentrated on regulating his breathing, making it shallow, pushing back with his tongue the grains his gasps had drawn. With the roaring in his ears, it became a surf of boulders he had to keep at bay.

  20

  Cif was cheered to find things orderly busy at the diggings, the dogcart unloading, some men wolfing midday bread and soup by the fire, while at the shaft head the stubby wide cone of dug dirt had grown visibly higher and the bright growl of a saw spoke of shorings and roofing for the tunnel being readied. Fafhrd's man Fren, on duty at the windlass, told her that Skor, the girl Klute, and Mikkidu were down, the first two working at the face, that last walking dirt between there and the shaft. She commented on a faint stench, coming irregularly.

  "I whiffed something myself once or twice already," Fren agreed, making a face. "Like rotten eggs?"

  At his offer, she rode the empty bucket down, standing, her small-booted feet fitting with room to spare.

  At the shaft the foul odor became stronger. Looking up at Rill and Skullick, she held her nose. They copied her gesture, nodding. As she neared the bottom, Mikkidu came backing out of the tunnel's low entry lugging a full bucket and she stepped out away from him, preparatory to helping switch the hook from the empty bucket to the full one.

  But as he swung it around, he pitched over it into her arms. Digging in her heels, she managed to prop the Mouser's small lieutenant, snarling at him, "What's the matter with you, Mik? Are you drunk?"

  When he answered her groggily, "No, Lady," his eyes weaving, she pushed him against the wall, leaving him to recover his wits and balance, and hurried into the tunnel.

  Here the stink was intense and she held her breath. A few fast scurrying steps brought her to the end, where the light of a leviathan-oil lamp burning blue and dim showed her Skor on his knees slumped forward against the rough face he'd been scraping, his shoulders slack, while beside him Klute lay prone on the rock floor, evidently having passed out as she'd tried to crawl away.

  Cif took her under the armpits and half dragged, half carried her out of the tunnel. Mikkidu was rubbing his forehead. She called, "Skullick!" but he was already climbing down by the pegs. Klute was writhing a little and mewling faintly with her eyes closed. Cif slung her over an arm, stepped into the empty bucket, and signaled Fren to hoist. The pulleys creaked. In passing she told Skullick, "Skor's collapsed at the face. Fumes and foul air, get him out fast."

  At the top she passed Klute to Rill and Fren and then stepped out herself. The girl was muttering, "Can't find my scoop." Rill told her, "Wake up, Klute. Try to breathe deeply," and remarked to Cif, "There was such a stench in the cave toward Darkfire."

  Cif nodded and turned back to watch Skullick drag Skor out of the tunnel. He called, "He'll come out of it, Lady. His pulse is still there." Mikkidu seemed recovered, for he helped Skullick get a rope around the unconscious man's chest so he could be hoisted up the shaft, and then climbed the pegs alongside to steady the dead-weight burden on its way.

&nb
sp; When Fafhrd's lieutenant was stretched out next to the shaft head, Cif took his pulse under the jaw, didn't like its reedy feel, and directed Mikkidu to lift his shoulders and head (by its scanty red hair) while she straddled his lap, clasped him around with both arms, and fed him air from her own lips, alternating with brief tightenings of her hug.

  When Skor's pulse seemed stronger, she directed he be carried to the shelter tent and delegated Rill to keep close watch and continue her nursing as needed. Then she quizzed Mikkidu sharply.

  "You were going into and out of the tunnel, you must have noticed the fumes."

  "I did, Lady," he replied, "and warned Skor. But he made light of them, being so concentrated on speeding the digging."

  "Well, he was right about that, though imprudent," she said with weight. "The digging must continue at the face if we're to have a chance of saving the Captain. Fresh air must be conveyed there in good supply. And speedily."

  "Aye, Lady," Mikkidu agreed dubiously, "but how?"

  "I have had opportunity to think that matter through," she told him. "Mik, last autumn you were with the captains on their great snow-serpent hunt in the Death Lands that lie midway betwixt the volcanoes Darkfire and Hellglow?"

  "Who of us wasn't, Lady?" that one replied. "Aye, and busy for a fussy fortnight afterward flaying and curing the uncut hides."

  "As I recall," she went on, "there were some forty perfect hides got in all."

  "Two score and seven to be precise, Lady. All laid up at the barracks with camphor and cloves against the next trading voyage by one of the captains. They'd bring a fortune in Lankhmar."

  "As I too thought." She nodded. "The dogcart is still here. I've a mind to send you back in it to fetch out those same hides. All of them."

  He stared at her puzzledly.

  "Are you aware," she asked him, "that each of those hides constitutes a wrist-wide, sound leather tube nine or ten cubits long? Three or four yards?"

  "Yes, Lady," he began, his brow still clouded, "but—"

  "Come on, I'll go with you," she said with a merry grin, standing up from where they'd been sitting beside the fire. "For you'll need someone to attend to the hides while you're busy seeing to the unshipping of the great bellows at the smith-forge preparatory to its conveyance here."

  "Lady," Mikkidu said, his face lightening up, "I do believe I get a glimmering of your intention."

  "And so do I!" was voiced admiringly by Skullick, who'd been listening in.

  "Good!" Cif told the latter. "Then you can take charge here whilst I'm away."

  And she dragged Fafhrd's ring off her thumb and gave it to Skullick.

  21

  Pshawri broke a pane of ice to free the waters of Last Spring for easy imbibing.

  When he had lapped his fill he backed away, dancing his thanks in a solemn little jig such as no one had ever seen him foot. He was a secretive young man.

  He ended his jig with a slow rotation widdershins, scanning his still, chill, hazy-white surroundings from right to left. Darkfire's smoke plume was a smudge in the northern milk-sky. His gaze lingered studiously on the southwest and south, as though he expected pursuers there, and from the height to which he roved it, either flying ones or else very big and tall indeed.

  He was at the boundary between the Moor and barren Lava Lands, though a dusting of snow hid the blackness of the latter, blurring the distinction.

  He undid one button of his pouch hanging against his belly in front and carefully wormed out the bottle Afreyt had given him, mindful of the pouch's precious contents, and drank off half the remnant of fortified sweet wine, toasting the smoke plume. Then he bore the bottle back to the spring, submerged it until it was almost full, recorked it and returned it to his pouch. After rebuttoning the latter, he felt it over with a gesture curiously reminiscent of a pregnant woman feeling for movement.

  He sketched a second jig that included a stamping defiance toward the south-southwest, then turned and loped away north.

  22

  Toward evening the girl Fingers woke refreshed in the bed at Cif's house she'd occupied night before last. She slid herself from under the blanket without waking Gale, slipped into one of the two robes of toweling lying across the foot, belted it, and wandered down to the large kitchen, where Afreyt, similarly clad, stood beside a narrow door of gray driftwood with a row of pegs and two small windows of horn in the wall alongside it. The pegs were empty save for two, whence hung a worn robe larger than her own and an iron-studded belt bearing sheathed dirk and small-ax, with boots set below.

  "I bathe in steam," the tall lady said. "Will you join me?"

  "Gratefully, Lady," the girl replied. "You heap me with kindnesses I can never repay."

  "My privilege," Afreyt replied. "In return you might tell me of Ilthmar and Tovilyis, where I've never been." Her violet eyes twinkled. "And scrub my back." She hung her robe, Fingers copying her, on an empty peg and led the way into a narrow chamber consisting of four wide driftwood steps and dimly lit by four small windows, and shut the door behind them. Beside it were a longhandled dipper and two buckets, the farther one filled with water, the near with round stones glowing dark red toward their center and toasting Fingers's calves and knees as she passed close to them. Afreyt poured two-and-a-half dippers of water into the hot rocks. There was an explosive sizzling and clouds of steam enveloped them. Afreyt seated herself on the third step, Fingers following suit, and noting or divining the girl's looks of surprise and mild alarm at the increase in the moist heat, remarked, "It teases the heart a little, does it not? Do not fear to inhale deeply. Move down a step if it's uncomfortable," she advised.

  "It does indeed, Lady," Fingers agreed, but held her level.

  "Now tell me of foul filthy Ilthmar and its nasty rat god," Afreyt suggested. "In what figure is he shown or depicted?"

  "In that of a man, Lady, with a rat's head and long tail. On ritual occasions his human priests wear a rat mask, carry a long snaky whip resembling a giant rat's tail, and go naked or robed according to the nature of the rite."

  "How is the relationship between humanity and the ratty kind rationalized?" Afreyt inquired.

  "In olden times, when rats had their cities aboveground, they warred with and enslaved a race of giants. Ourselves, Lady, humankind. Then in the course of numerous revolts and repressions, the rats transferred their cities underground for privacy and to give them peace and quiet to perfect their culture, but maintaining secret dominion over their servant-slaves." The girl's voice was thoughtful. Her left hand played with a ridgy white seashell embedded in the gray plank on which their sweat dripped. Beside it was a boreworm hole, into which she ran her little finger back and forth. It fitted nicely. She continued, "There's a dark magic known only to the doubly initiated (which mother and I were not) whereby rats and their allies may switch size back and forth between rat and human. The rats' prophets and chiefest allies amongst humankind are numbered among their saints, of whom the recentest to be canonized are St. Hisvin of Lankhmar and his daughter, St. Hisvet, Lankhmar Below being the chiefest city of the rats, although, unlike Ilthmar, the worship of the rat god is forbidden in Lankhmar Above."

  Afreyt handed Fingers a stiff-bristled brush and presented her back, on which the girl, kneeling, got to work industriously. The tall woman asked, "Have you seen representations in Ilthmar of this female saint?"

  "Aye, Lady, there's a carving at her small shrine in the Rat's dockside temple. (Rats were also the first mariners, teaching man the art.) She is depicted nude with her hair in one braid long as her slender self and with eight dainty rat dugs; two centered in small high breasts, the next pair low on her rib cage, two flanking her cord scar, and two close to either side her maiden mound above the leg crease."

  "My, such a multiplicity of charms! One wonders whether to envy or despise." Afreyt chuckled.

  "Her cult's a very popular one, Lady," the girl replied somewhat defensively as she scrubbed away. "She commands demons, it is believed, and has enjoyed t
he services of Queen Frixifrax of Arilia."

  Afreyt laughed. "Truth to tell, child, I would have been inclined to rate your whole rat tale nonsense, like half the stories fed us Rime Islers dwelling on the edge of things to awe and befool us, did it not fit so well with what Fafhrd has told me about his and Captain Mouser's greatest adventure (though there were more than one of those, to hear them talk) during the last days of Overlord Glipkerio's reign, when there was an incursion or eruption of armed rats into Lankhmar City, along with many other weird events, and involving the unscrupulous grain merchant Hisvin and his scandalous daughter Hisvet, both the rats' allies and bearing the same names as the two saints in your own strange tale."

  "I am grateful your Ladyship believes at least partly in my truthful account," Fingers replied a little huffily. "I may be overcredulous, Lady, but never a liar."