After ordering their drinks and carrying them to a table in the shade of a large canvas umbrella, Natalie hooked her handbag over the back of the aluminium chair and sat down opposite Sue.
“How’s Smiley?” Sue flicked open a paper napkin and draped it over her lap.
“I saw him the other night, and he looks so different. He’ll have a few days of antibiotics, but he said he was already feeling better. They shaved off his beard too. I almost didn’t recognise him.” Stirring a spoon through her latte, Natalie filled Sue in on with her visit to their mutual acquaintance – friend – she didn’t really know what to call the relationship she had with Smiley.
Over the course of time, they’d established some form of a relationship, and she’d grown to love his easy-going nature, his friendliness, and his uninhibited laugh. Chatting over breakfast most days gave her some insight into Smiley’s life, and she felt privileged to be given the opportunity to serve him.
“What will happen to him once he’s discharged? Where will he go?” Natalie eyed the group of middle-aged women striding past in their active wear carrying hand weights. She couldn’t bear the thought of Smiley being discharged back to the streets. Particularly when it was so cold at night. He would end up back in hospital in a worse condition.
“Graham’s got contacts for accommodation. I’m sure he’ll be able to find a place for him to stay for a while.” Sue smiled, lifting the cup of tea to her lips.
Natalie traced a finger over the handle of her cup. “And then what?” Where would he go after temporary accommodation? Was there hope for someone Smiley’s age? With God, she knew anything was possible. But could someone who’d been homeless for so many years suddenly start living a normal life? It would be a huge adjustment for him to make, and she wondered if Smiley even wanted to.
“Graham has many contacts with people who take on the homeless or less fortunate, whether it be for paid work or in a voluntary capacity. There are agencies that work with them as well. But, it’s up to them to want it. We can only offer so much and continue to pray for them. We can’t make them change. That’s a decision each person needs to make for themselves.”
“I know that.” Natalie slumped against the back of the chair with a sigh. “It’s just so frustrating when you want to do more, but can’t. I hate how they think being on the street is their only choice.”
Her thoughts turned to Ben. She’d thought of him so much lately. The first time she saw him at the breakfast van, she’d noticed he was different. The way he helped Smiley, and the gentle way he interacted with the rest of the group. She saw beyond the label of homelessness that everyone was so quick to attach to him. Over time, she didn’t notice his clothes beginning to look a little worse for wear. Nor the beard growing thicker by the day. She saw a man with a kind heart who would do anything for his friends and his children. She saw a man full of remorse for the poor choices he’d made. It saddened her that he thought homelessness was his only option when his world had fallen apart. But, he wanted to change, didn’t he? He’d said as much when they’d sat on the beach just beyond the café where she and Sue were talking. When he’d held her hands in his, she’d shivered from the cold and the incredible warmth that infused through her from his touch.
“We can only help so much, Natalie.” Sue tilted her head, eyeing Natalie across the table. “You never know, though. This might be just what Smiley needs to help steer him towards a better life. God works in ways we don’t understand.”
Nodding, Natalie lifted the cup to her lips. She’d certainly experienced that firsthand. With the decision to leave her fiancé, an interstate move, and working with the homeless, she hadn’t understood God’s direction at all. And now with a certain man filling her thoughts most days, she was even more mystified.
“You’re thinking of Ben, aren’t you?” Sue probed gently.
Natalie nodded, lowering her gaze to avoid whatever judgement she would find in Sue’s eyes. It sounded so silly when word was given to her thoughts. What was she even thinking, allowing her heart to drift into such a place?
Placing her cup on the saucer, Natalie leaned forward. “Did you know he’s got two kids? A son he didn’t even know about? That makes me so sad.”
“You’ve got a wonderful heart, Natalie.” Sue reached across the table and gave her hand a gentle squeeze.
A short laugh erupted from Natalie’s lips as she gazed around the al fresco area of the cafe. The tables had filled up since they’d arrived, and conversation and laughter from nearby patrons carried across the courtyard to them.
“That’s what my ex told me. Although he wasn’t quite as succinct. He said I was too caring. Too soft. That people will take advantage of me.” She couldn’t help that she only wanted the best for people. Everyone had potential. Everyone was worthy in God’s eyes. And she couldn’t ignore the urge to help those in need. With a father and brother both serving on the mission field overseas, it was ingrained into her to be Jesus’ hands and feet and serve where she could.
But was she crossing the line with Ben? Perhaps her compassion for those less fortunate was clouding her reality and confusing the joy she got from serving with a fanciful romantic notion.
Oh, she was silly to even consider anything with the man with the deep brown eyes and kind heart. The beard that she wanted to run her fingers through and feel just how soft it was. Whose hand she wanted to hold again. Perhaps she was lonelier than she thought, and her circumstances were causing her to think irrationally.
“Graham has spent a great deal of time with Ben this week, and they were still talking early this morning when I left. I guess that’s one positive thing about Graham having insomnia.” Sue gave a small chuckle. Taking a sip of her tea, she gazed across the parkland. A small flock of pigeons strutted on the grassy area nearby, fanning out their feathers and cooing to each other. Sunlight cast shadows on the ground, and above them, the umbrella flapped in the breeze.
“God knows his future, just as He knows yours, Natalie. All I can say is pray and commit your plans to Him. Talking about plans, the next thing we need to think about is our upcoming festival.”
Natalie nodded as an unspoken understanding passed between them. She was glad Sue hadn’t asked too many questions. She didn’t even know how she would answer. The thought of verbalising her feelings about a homeless man made her want to laugh out loud. What a ridiculous notion to even consider.
But God worked in mysterious ways, and there was just something about Ben …
15
Covering a yawn, Ben leaned against the mirrored wall of the lift as he rode to the third floor of the hospital. He caught a glimpse of his reflection on the walls and couldn’t prevent his lips curving into a smile. Graham had given him a clean shirt and a fresh pair of jeans from an emergency supply of clothing at his home. Although slightly baggy on his leaner frame, he was grateful for both the Silverton’s generosity in supplying him with a few days’ worth of clean clothes and opening their home to him. The shower and shave had been a godsend. And to sleep on a proper bed had been absolute bliss.
The smell of antiseptic and bleach hit the back of Ben’s throat as he exited the lift and strode along the corridor. Colourful artwork adorned the stark white walls. Call bells sounded and the low buzz of conversation floated around the ward. He stopped briefly to ask for directions at the nurses’ station before continuing on.
Pausing in the doorway of the room, Ben eyed his friend resting in the bed by the window. A newspaper lay open on the table in front of him. Sunlight streamed through the corner window and fanned across the blanket at the foot of Smiley’s bed.
“Smiley!” Ben grinned as he strode across the room, shaking his head at the transformation of his friend. He looked at least ten years younger without his beard.
“Ben!” The older man grinned and pushed up onto his elbows.
“Don’t get up.” Ben clasped his shoulder and gave him a brief hug before sitting down. “You look so much better
than the other night. How are you feeling?”
“Like heaven.” The older man’s smile widened.
Ben leaned forward and patted Smiley’s arm. “I’m so glad you’re doing better. You had me really worried there.”
“I was all right. An angel saved me.” Smiley winked and his laugh bounced around the room. Ben’s face warmed. Yes, the same angel he couldn’t get off his mind. The one with the cold hands and the warm heart. The one whose eyes he could drown in. But who was he to even think that way, when she was so far beyond his reach. Besides, what did he have to offer her?
Clearing his throat, he shifted on the vinyl chair. “I’ve spent the last couple of nights at Graham and Sue’s place. They wouldn’t let me go back to the park. I still don’t get why they’d give up well-paying jobs to help us, but I’m so thankful they did. I’ve never met anyone like them.”
“Me either. They’re great, aren’t they? Always there with a smile, and great food.”
Ben agreed. As kitchen staff brought morning tea in for the patients, Ben updated Smiley with what had happened since he’d been in hospital. Graham had offered him accommodation until he found a job, and would help him find permanent housing if he needed assistance.
“It was good to talk to someone and have them listen without passing judgement. I think I’m starting to see a light at the end of the tunnel. You should talk to Graham when you’re out of here. He’ll be able to find something for you.”
“You follow that light, son. Don’t let it dim. You’ve got your whole life ahead of you. I’m gettin’ too old for any excitement like that.”
“Don’t be silly, Smiley. I’ll talk to Graham. And I’m happy to come with you. I’m sure there’s a job for you out there somewhere. You’ve been living rough for too long. There’s more to life for you than this.”
Smiley waved his comment away and fixed his gaze out the window. “No one’s gonna employ a bum.”
“But you don’t have to live like this any more. It’s a choice, Smiley. I’m choosing to change for my kids. My stint on the streets was only meant to be temporary, until I got my head around things. I lost my job, my wife and my kids. And I can’t do it anymore. I’ve been given another opportunity, and I’m going to run after it with all I’ve got.”
Tears glistened in Smiley’s eyes as he turned his focus to the television screen above the bed. The blankets covering the bed dwarfed his gaunt frame. “I’m happy for you, Ben. I really am. Your kids deserve to have you in their lives. I blew my chance. My kids are all grown up and hate me. I’ve not been a nice man over the years. I don’t deserve the good life for the choices I made.”
“Rubbish!” Ben leaned forward, banging his fist on the bed. The soft covers swallowing any force of impact. “Stop beating yourself up, man. That was in the past. You’ve still got some good years left in you yet.”
With his jaw set firm, and his arms folded across his chest, Smiley remained in stony silence. Ben rose to his feet with a sigh and moved the chair back against the wall.
From the window, he could see peak hour traffic snaking along the freeway. Buses pulled to a stop outside the front of the hospital allowing passengers to disembark. Birds circled above the roof of the building across the road seeking a place to land.
“I’ll be here when you’re released, and I’ll be taking you home.” His hand rested firmly on Smiley’s shoulder, a silent affirmation of his word, before he left the room. Two could play at being stubborn.
The sun emerged from behind a bank of grey clouds as Ben headed down the hill away from the hospital. Tucking his hands into his pockets, his mind whirled with thoughts of Smiley, his own future, and a certain brunette. Yes, she was indeed an angel. But how could he ever call her his own?
16
After a busy week of shifts at the hospital and volunteering with both the health clinic and the street van, Natalie managed an afternoon nap before catching a bus to the Silverton’s apartment in the Valley. Taking the stairs to the second floor, she rapped on the bright blue door of their apartment, smiling at the cheerful colour that perfectly captured the couple’s personalities.
“Come in, come in.” Sue gestured, wiping her hands on the floral apron tied around her waist as she opened the door. “How was work?” The smell of lemon and garlic filled Natalie’s senses and her stomach growled as Sue pulled her into a warm embrace. Voices and laughter carried across from the living room as Natalie shucked off her flats by the door and followed Sue along the short hallway to the kitchen. “Busy, as usual.”
“Obviously you didn’t get a meal break?”
Natalie laughed, patting her stomach. “Only a short one earlier in the day. We had a few emergencies and it’s not possible to leave during those.”
“I guess not,” Sue replied, removing her apron and hooking it behind the pantry door. “Lucky I’ve made enough food for an army, then.” She winked and dished linguine into the six bowls on the bench.
Natalie glanced around the apartment. Framed photographs of Graham and Sue adorned the hallway. One of their wedding. One of them at the top of a mountain with the ocean in the background. And one with a young blonde girl, who had Sue’s smile. Their daughter? Not wanting to dig too deep, she folded her hands on the bench.
“Can I help with anything?”
“Could you carry the parmesan out to the lounge please?”
Natalie grabbed the bowl of freshly grated cheese off the bench and followed Sue to the living room. A young couple, Kevin and Sarah, from Hope Street Church sat on cushions on the floor, deep in conversation. Graham was seated in an armchair next to the couch talking to Ben.
Ben. Her footsteps faltered. What was he doing here? She hadn’t seen him when she’d arrived.
Her heart pattered against her ribs as she greeted everyone. Smiling, she stepped past Graham, hoping no one would notice her hand shaking as she set the bowl of cheese on the coffee table.
Sue handed out the bowls of steaming pasta before carrying a dining chair over and sitting next to Graham, leaving the spare seat on the couch for Natalie. She lowered herself down and crossed one leg over the other, putting enough distance between herself and Ben as she could without appearing rude. How convenient the room seemed to be cozily split into couples.
“This smells delicious,” Sarah announced, cradling a bowl of pasta in her hands. Her blonde hair sat in a high ponytail, and she wore black-framed glasses on her nose.
“It sure does,” Kevin agreed, smiling his thanks at Sue. He scooted back to lean against the television cabinet, stretching his legs in front of him. The couple, in their mid-twenties, volunteered with the youth ministry at Hope Street Church and had recently become engaged.
Graham led the group in grace and before long, small talk drifted around the room in between mouthfuls of food. Natalie turned her ear to snippets of conversation as she focused on the pasta in her bowl. Sue asked Sarah about her upcoming nuptials. Graham and Kevin chatted about some of the new audio equipment being installed at the church; and some discussion about the upcoming festival.
“I visited Smiley yesterday,” Ben said, lowering his fork into his bowl.
Natalie cast a quick glance across the space between them. Her heart picked up pace at the sight of him. So handsome in his clean jeans and simple white t-shirt fitting snugly over his torso.
“Oh?” Her voice croaked. She’d had no problem talking to him when she was serving him breakfast at the park, but this was completely different. In the comfortable confines of her friends’ home, she couldn’t even string two words together.
“He looks great.”
She nodded. “He looks so different without his beard. So do you.” Swiping a wayward strand of hair off her face, she quickly lowered her gaze as she felt her cheeks heat.
“Thanks,” Ben chuckled, smoothing a hand over his jaw. “It’s strange looking in the mirror. I’m not sure if I prefer myself with or without the beard.”
“I think you look hands
ome either way,” Natalie murmured before dropping her fork into her bowl. Her eyes widened. Had she really just said that out loud?
Suddenly, the intricate swirls and coordinated colours in the floral pattern on the couch seemed quite interesting. Willing the ground to open up and swallow her whole, she reached for a glass of water from the coffee table and downed half of it in one gulp. She cast a quick glance around the room. Thankfully no one else appeared to have heard her compliment Ben, as they were all too engrossed in conversation about the upcoming outreach festival the church was hosting.
Held in the same park the breakfast van frequented, the annual Winter Wonder Festival provided entertainment – music performances, jumping castle, a petting zoo and food trucks – for the local community. It was free for everyone, including the homeless, and provided an opportunity for the community to hear the gospel message. Nothing too preachy, but just enough to make inquisitive minds seek more.
Feeling Ben’s gaze burning into her, Natalie shifted on the cushions, inching ever so slightly away from him. If only she could get up and run as far from him as possible. How foolish could she be?
“… and I’ve asked Natalie to help with the food van and organise the first aid kit. Is that still all right?”
Catching the end of the sentence, Natalie glanced over to Graham, thankful for his timely distraction. She needed to focus on the conversation at hand, not on how much Ben affected her. The sweet smell of his aftershave, his smooth cheeks, his warm voice …
She cleared her throat and smoothed her hands over the front of her jeans. “Ah, yes. That’s fine.”
“Ben, is there anywhere you’d like to help out?” Sue glanced down at the list of tasks in her notebook before turning to the rest of the group. “I think it’s wonderful that Ben wants to help out. With his recent stint on the streets, I think he’ll be able to help bridge the gap between our homeless friends, the services our church offers and the rest of the community.”
River's Edge (Hope Rising Book 1) Page 9