Ben shrugged and opened his hands wide. “I’m happy to be used wherever you need me.”
Sue tapped the pen on her chin. “Let me think about it. I’ve already got the coffee van sorted. Natalie will be helping on a food van. Kevin and Sarah will be organising the children’s entertainment. Let me get back to you. Is that okay?”
“Sure.” Ben nodded before smiling at Natalie. She crossed her legs and stared at a knot in a timber panel on the floor. Get a grip, girl. You’re here to serve the community, not be caught up in flights of fancy about the handsome man sitting next to you.
“Sarah, have you got enough people to help with the jumping castle and petting zoo?”
Pushing her glasses on top of her head, the young woman nodded. “I’ve asked some of the youth group to help out. They’re looking forward to it.”
“And Kevin, I know you’re helping Sarah, but I’d also like you to help Graham with the overall running of the day. We’ll need everyone to help with the set up and pack down, but that shouldn’t be a problem. I’m looking forward to a great event this year. Let’s pray for plenty of opportunities to witness, and of course, great weather.”
Graham led the group in prayer, committing the event and the week ahead to God. All the while, Natalie’s thoughts drifted to Ben. Why she had allowed her thoughts to slip out of her mouth, she didn’t know. Hopefully he would forget her comments. He certainly didn’t need her idiocy complicating his life.
As soon as Graham concluded praying, she glanced at her watch and stood. “I’m sorry to be rude, but I really need to get going. I’ve got an early start tomorrow.” I’m sorry, Lord. It wasn’t exactly a lie. She did have an early start, but she wasn’t working. No. She really needed to get out of her headspace and spend the morning seeking God’s will for her heart. Slinging her bag over her shoulder, she bid everyone goodbye before carrying her empty bowl to the kitchen and placing it in the sink.
Once on the street in front of Graham and Sue’s apartment building, Natalie pulled her phone out of her pocket and walked the short distance to the bus stop at the end of the block. With a few spare minutes before the bus was due to arrive, she sent a text to her sister. Focused on composing a new message to her brother, she didn’t hear footsteps approaching on the concrete path.
“Have you got a moment?”
She jumped at the sound of the man’s voice. Clutching her bag on her lap, she glanced up as Ben sat on the metal bench beside her.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to scare you.”
“That’s okay. I was busy messaging my family and wasn’t paying attention to anything else. Probably not a great idea, given that I was almost attacked recently.”
A bus drove past, the gust of wind blowing Natalie’s hair around her face. She gathered it together and draped it over her shoulder. “I wasn’t expecting to see you tonight. I didn’t realise you were planning on helping with the festival.”
“I didn’t either,” Ben chuckled, glancing at Natalie. “I’ve been spending a lot of time with Graham lately. He invited me along. I couldn’t say no, seeing as I’m living under the same roof at the moment.”
“That’s good.” Natalie swallowed, wondering why she was suddenly so shy around him now. She cast a glance his way. His hair was trimmed into a neat style, no longer curling at the base of his neck. A pair of blue canvas shoes replaced the worn out joggers on his feet. He looked good. He always had. But with the rugged exterior gone, he looked really good.
“I’ve got an interview coming up soon.” Ben broke the silence engulfing them.
“That’s great!” Woah, girl. Don’t get too excited.
“Graham set me up with someone he knows. Both he and Sue have been so helpful. They’re an amazing couple.” Clutching his hands together, he lowered his head and chuckled. “I’m a little nervous, which is ridiculous. But I’ve never had this … blemish on my resume before.”
“You’ll be fine. I’ll pray for you.” Natalie smiled, trying not to notice the brightness in his eyes, or the way his skin glowed in the dim light of the bus shelter.
“This prayer thing seems to work.” He gave another chuckle, running a hand over his face. Natalie clenched her fingers together to prevent herself reaching out and doing the same thing. “Graham’s been praying with me every day. It’s been confronting, but it’s also filled me with hope that this doesn’t have to be my life any more.”
“It doesn’t have to be,” Natalie agreed softly as hope welled in her chest. “I’m so happy for you, Ben. You’ve got big things ahead of you.”
The roar of an engine rose above their conversation as another bus approached. Natalie waved her hand to signal the driver and stood.
“This one’s mine.”
Ben rose to his feet, tucking a hand into the pocket of his jeans. “I know this sounds ridiculous …” He shook his head and briefly closed his eyes.
The door of the bus hissed open. Natalie placed one foot on the lower step and turned, her heart hammering against her ribs as she waited for Ben to continue.
Raising one hand, he gave a small wave. “You’ve got to go. I’ll see you round, Natalie.”
Murmuring a hurried farewell, she climbed the steps onto the bus and took a seat, second row from the front. The doors slammed closed and the bus lurched forward. Turning in her seat, she eyed Ben’s lonely figure as he ambled away, his shoulders hunched forward. Disappointment settled over her. What was he going to say?
Shaking her head, she faced forward, staring out the window as the bus navigated the city streets towards her apartment building. This had to stop. She’d allowed her heart to cross a line, and she needed to pull it back. She needed to tuck it away and guard it carefully where it couldn’t get hurt again.
17
The following week flew by in a blur of work, including several overtime shifts at the hospital and helping out with planning for the upcoming festival. Smiley had been discharged with a clean bill of health, and was staying with the pastor from church.
The Winter Wonder Festival was shaping up to be a fun day, with plenty of youth from Hope Street Church volunteering to help. Although it pained her to do so, Natalie reduced some of her hours with the health clinic and the breakfast van to accommodate extra hours spent organising the festival.
She avoided the breakfast van in part due to being exhausted, but also because she couldn’t face Ben. More to the point, she couldn’t face her feelings towards Ben. With him staying at Graham and Sue’s, she didn’t know if he would still be visiting the van, or if he would be helping out. She didn’t want to risk her heart to find out. The transformation in his life filled her with emotions she wasn’t ready or willing to acknowledge.
With just over a week until the festival, Natalie finished her shift at the hospital, changed out of her scrubs and caught the bus to Hope Street Church. Sue was already at work in the kitchen, ticking items off her to-do list as she looked through the pantry when Natalie arrived.
“Oh, hi, Nat. I’m just making a list of last minute items we need. Can you think of anything else? I’m going to duck off to the shops in a minute.”
Natalie placed her bag in a cupboard underneath the sink and shook her head as she washed her hands. “I can’t think of anything else. The freezer’s stocked with cakes and slices. I’ve got a couple more batches of cookies to make, plus two more slabs of brownies, and I think that will cover it.”
“Call me if you can think of anything.” Sue closed the pantry door, grabbed her purse off the bench, and disappeared up the stairs leading outside.
Tying an apron around her waist, Natalie set to work. The late afternoon sun filtered in through the windows overlooking the church gardens, bathing the kitchen in a warm glow.
Humming to a playlist of praise music, she whipped up a batch of cookie dough. She set balls of dough onto a baking sheet before sliding it into the oven and setting the timer. Wiping her hands on the blue and white checked apron, she snipped the top off ano
ther packet of chocolate chips and began pouring them into a stainless steel bowl on the bench ready for the next batch of cookies.
“Mmm. It smells so good in here.”
Natalie gasped. The packet slipped out of her fingers, scattering chocolate chips over the floor. Leaning against the bench, she placed one hand over her racing heart. “You scared me.”
“Sorry.” Ben grinned, stepping into the kitchen. “I didn’t mean to. I thought you saw me.”
Grabbing a dustpan and brush from under the sink, she knelt and began sweeping up the mess. “No, I was too busy thinking about what I needed to get done in here.”
“Here, let me.” Ben took the dustpan out of her hands, his fingertips brushing hers as he knelt. She rocked back on her heels, giving him a quick smile before standing to her feet and stepping away from his intoxicating presence. He made quick work of sweeping up the chocolate pieces before tipping them into the nearby bin.
“Such a waste. I’m sorry.”
Natalie pressed her back into the corner of the bench. “All good. There are plenty more in the cupboard.”
The walls closed in as their gazes locked. Natalie could almost hear the electricity crackle through the air above the pounding of her heart. She swallowed and glanced away, focusing on the smear of butter, a clump of cocoa powder and sprinkles of flour covering the bench top. Grabbing a cloth, she blew a strand of hair off her face and adjusted the collar of her t-shirt around her neck as she set to work wiping the bench. It was certainly getting warm in the kitchen.
“Looks like you’ve been busy.”
She nodded. “I’m almost done. I’ll freeze these until we need them. Hopefully we’ll have enough food for everyone.” Her words were stilted. Oh, why couldn’t she talk to him without feeling so awkward?
“So, my interview’s tomorrow.” Folding his arms, Ben leaned against the pantry door.
“That’s great. How are you feeling about it?”
“A little nervous.” Ben chuckled. “Actually, a whole lot nervous. I ... the reason I came here was …” He glanced down, running the toe of his shoe across a line of grout in the tiles. “This sounds silly, but I was wondering if you could pray for me? I’ve never asked anyone to do that before, and it sounds so foreign to me, but I’d really apprec …”
“Yes! Of course I will,” Natalie gushed. Her heart welled. Don’t read into it. He knows you’re a Christian. He’s just asking for your support.
Ben let out a sigh of relief as a large grin broke on his face. “Thank you. That means a lot.” He reached a hand out and brushed a finger across Natalie’s cheek leaving a trail of fire across her skin.
“You had a bit of flour there.” He wiped his finger on his jeans, smearing a white streak across the dark denim.
Turning abruptly, Natalie busied herself at the sink rinsing the dirty utensils. “Did you want a drink or anything? Grab a cookie. Here.” She turned, picked up a sheet of cookies cooling on the bench and offered one to him.
“Sure, thanks.” Surprise flickered across Ben’s face as he took one. “Are you okay?”
She nodded abruptly. “Fine.”
“Alright, then.” He hesitated, tapping his fingers on the bench. “I’ll get going and leave you to it.”
“All the best for tomorrow. I’ll be praying,” Natalie called as he walked up the stairs. Once out of sight, she rested her hands on the bench and gazed out the window at the fading light.
“Stupid, stupid, stupid,” she chided.
18
Adjusting the knot in his tie, Ben glanced in the full-length mirror in the spare bedroom that had become his home over the previous few weeks. It had been a long time since he’d dressed like this, but surprisingly, his fingers still knew how to tie a knot. He almost didn’t recognise the man staring back at him. Short dark hair. Smooth skin. New clothes. He looked … good.
Nerves coiled in his gut at the prospect of landing a new job and reentering the workforce. It wasn’t an executive position by any means. In fact, by the world’s standards, the position of door greeter for the largest hardware chain in the country was nothing. But to him, it was everything. It was a new beginning. It was the chance to prove himself. It was the start of a new life. One that he vowed to live with all his heart and soul.
Leaning forward, Ben placed his hands on the dresser and closed his eyes. God, if you’re real, please be with me. I want a life. I’m sorry for messing up. I don’t want to be stuck on the streets forever. Please, give me a chance.
Exhaling, he grabbed the wallet Graham had lent him and tucked it into his trouser pocket. His friend had also left him a note of encouragement.
“Ready?” Graham smiled as Ben slid onto the passenger seat of the blue sedan that had seen better days. A layer of dust coated the instrument panel. The carpet on the floorboard was threadbare. And cracks snaked across the vinyl dashboard.
“As I’ll ever be.” Glancing around, Ben fastened the seatbelt. “Are you sure this thing will get us there?”
“Doesn’t look like much, but her engine’s perfect.” Graham patted the steering wheel. “No point having a fancy set of wheels when that money can help others.”
Ben mulled over Graham’s words. Such a different attitude than the one he’d possessed in his previous life when appearances meant everything. The older man’s wisdom and generosity never ceased to amaze him.
After waiting for the traffic lights to turn green, Graham drove out of the Valley and headed north towards a leafy suburb on the outskirts of the city.
“Thanks for doing this for me. I honestly don’t know how to repay you.”
“You don’t owe me anything.”
“You’ve done so much for me, though.”
“We’ve just extended a hand. You’re the one who’s chosen to take it. It’s all up to you now, Ben. Grab life with all you’ve got and make the moments count.”
Graham’s words replayed in Ben’s mind as they drove past a shopping centre, schools with students playing in the playground, and a train station bustling with commuters. Fifteen minutes later, Graham pulled into an empty parking space in front of the large hardware store. Flat bed trolleys were lined up outside, ready for customers to pile high with their purchases. The smell of sausages filled the air from a barbeque stall near the entrance that a small group had set up, raising funds for a local sporting group.
“All the best.” Graham patted Ben on the shoulder as he opened the door, ready to step out of the car. “You know I’ll be right here praying.”
Ben nodded. Exhaling, he closed the door and walked to the entrance of the building. This is it. This is one step towards a new me. This is my future.
Sweat trickled between his shoulder blades as he made his way through the store - down the paint aisle, past the lighting display, through the bathroom display to the back of the building. Climbing the stairs to the manager’s office, Ben mentally checked over his resume and silently rehearsed answers to questions that might be asked.
Dread settled in the pit of his stomach. He hoped they didn’t ask what he’d been doing for the past twelve months. He didn’t know what he would say. Would Graham have mentioned his homelessness?
Ushered into a small office at the top of the stairs, he took a seat across the desk from the manager of the store. Donald Braune was in his mid-forties with greying hair and a kind face. Seated behind a simple black desk with a computer at one end and an array of framed photographs at the other, he spent the next twenty minutes asking Ben about his previous job, discussing the downsizing of competitors’ stores due to the global financial crisis, and inquiring about what areas of home improvement Ben enjoyed the most. He was welcoming and made Ben feel at ease from the moment he stepped into the office.
Pressing a hand over his knee to prevent his foot tapping on the ground, Ben answered all the questions as best he could. He had management experience. Leadership skills. And he enjoyed all aspects of home improvement, except the tidying up.
/> When he’d interviewed for previous jobs, he’d been confident, self-assured, and verging on arrogant. This time, he swallowed his pride and gave it all he had. He was a desperate man.
After another ten minutes of general conversation with a few tidbits of information about the store thrown in, Donald stood. Adjusting his tie, he held out his hand.
“Thanks for coming in today, Ben.”
Ben pushed off the chair and took Donald’s extended hand in a firm shake. “Thank you for giving me the opportunity to interview.”
“I’d like to welcome you to the team. I’ll be in touch about orientation and when you can start.”
Loosening his tie as he strode down the stairs, Ben wondered what had just happened. Had he heard right? His pace picked up as he walked through the store. Welcome to the team. Once outside, he jogged across the carpark unable to contain the grin on his face.
“How’d you go?” Graham glanced up from the book he was reading as Ben slid onto the passenger seat.
“I got the job.” Ben leaned against the seat and rested his hands on his knees. “I actually got the job. Can you believe it?” A deep laugh rumbled through his chest and soon filled the car. “Me. Homeless guy. I’ve got a job!”
Once on the road, Ben gazed out the window at the passing scenery. Never had the sky appeared such a vivid shade of blue, or the trees such a lustrous green. Even the river glistened brighter than it had before.
“Our God is so good.” Graham grinned as they waited for a traffic light to turn green. “Things are going well for you, Ben. Just remember, never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a God who cares so much for you. He’s got big plans for you.”
“That’s what Natalie says. Are you two conspiring against me, or something?” He beamed, feeling a lightness welling in his chest. Gone was the coil of anxiety that had kept him company for so long. Gone was the worry about how he was going to climb out of the darkness that had engulfed his life. Suddenly, he felt as though he had the world at his feet and anything was possible.
River's Edge (Hope Rising Book 1) Page 10