The Midnight War of Mateo Martinez

by Robin Yardi

  “Careful,” I told him. “You never know when those things are gonna blow.”

  “Right,” said Ashwin, sliding the goggles back down. He put his face right up against the net again. “So, do they really … really, um … ?”

  “Talk?” I said.

  “Yeah … talk,” Ashwin said, giving the little one a tiny poke through the net.

  “That’s right, Canela,” said Nuts. “We talk.”

  Ashwin jumped up. “Whoa,” he said, backing away. “That little mutant knows I live on Calle Canela, Mateo. This is so not cool.”

  Buggies rammed his snout at the edge of the net, trying to lift it up as soon as Ashwin let go.

  “Quick, Canela,” Mila said. “Don’t let them get away.”

  “Hey,” Ashwin said, grabbing the net. “Whose side are you on?”

  “Mine,” said Mila, glaring at me. “You stinkers left me out, and Mateo was keeping secrets!”

  Mila and Ashwin both glared at me. Hard. “I … I, uh … well, I wasn’t sure. I thought maybe I was going a little crazy, or, you know … I could have been wrong.”

  “Whoa, Mateo. How scary for you,” Ashwin said.

  As Buggies started bashing at the net again, Ashwin asked, “What are we going to do with these guys?”

  “Yeah, what are you gonna do with us, Caballero?” squeaked Nuts.

  “Quiet, Nuts. We’re in enemy hands.”

  “Yes sir, Sergeant Buggies. Going quiet.” Nuts crossed his little skunk arms.

  Mila peered into the net. “They do have names!” she said.

  “Yeah, the little squeaky one is Nuts, and the big one is Buggies,” I told them.

  “What do you want with my trike, you stinkers?” Mila was only inches away from both skunk butts.

  “From what I hear, it ain’t your trike, Polka Dots,” Buggies said in his gravelly voice.

  “Hey, sir—quiet, right?”

  “The mission is a wash anyway, Nuts. We wouldn’t make it tonight, even if we weren’t prisoners of war.” Both skunks stared up the hill toward our school.

  “Make it where?” me and Ashwin asked at the same time.

  The skunks squinted at each other. Buggies nodded to Nuts. “The playground. The raccoons always stake it out, but they don’t even head up there until they see us coming. They just don’t want us to use it. And once the raccoon army establishes a secure position atop the play structure, they start launching missiles at us.”

  “Our enemy is bigger and faster. We need the trike so we can outmaneuver them and make it up there first,” Buggies grunted.

  “What’s so important about the school playground?” I asked.

  “Slides. We really like the slides,” said Buggies.

  “We ain’t about to let those chubby trash-eaters push us around, either,” said Nuts.

  I could tell me and Ashwin were thinking the same thing. “Danny Vega,” Ashwin said, crossing his arms.

  I nodded.

  Ashwin leaned down real close to the skunks. He poked at Nuts with his shoe. “Helping these guys sounds like it could be a righteous mission, Mateo. This could be our chance to finally have some fun.”

  “What? You want to ride up to the playground with these guys? You’re the one who called them mutants.”

  Ashwin took another long look at the skunks. “Yeah … but wouldn’t that be cool? Riding our bikes all over school at night?”

  “Maybe …” I nodded slowly, trying to figure everything out. Trying to decide. Helping the skunks on their mission sounded like it could be pretty cool. Those raccoons were like Danny and Martin, taking over the playground for no reason I could understand. I couldn’t do anything about Danny Vega taking Johnny away, anything about them kicking balls at us up on the monkey bars, but this was different. We could totally take back the playground. At night, it could be all ours. A place where honor would rule. Maybe this was our chance. But then I remembered about the Vegas’ garage and the missing stuff and all the trash. “It could be a righteous mission,” I said. “Or it could be a trick.”

  I stared down at the two skunks stuck in Mila’s net. Buggies sat on his butt, with his little skunk belly pouching over his feet. Nuts glared at me with his tiny arms crossed. And Mila was staring at me too. Like she trusted me.

  But I wasn’t sure what I wanted to do.

  I wasn’t sure what I was supposed to do.

  “Sir, raccoons at twelve o’clock,” squeaked Nuts.

  We checked the sidewalk. A few blocks away, a group of raccoons scrambled down the street. When the raccoons crossed under the streetlights, all their eyes glinted like a bag of red marbles. They made gross trilling noises when they walked. A big one up front kept turning around and snarling at the others to keep them in line.

  “The raccoons don’t talk,” Ashwin said. “They just make gross animal sounds.”

  “’Course they don’t talk,” Buggies said. “They’re raccoons.”

  Ashwin gave me this bug-eyed look, but I still wasn’t sure about what to do.

  The smaller raccoons followed the big one up a driveway. They knocked down a set of garbage cans near someone’s grass. In barely a minute, the whole lawn was covered with trash.

  “Why do they do that?” I asked. “Are they looking for food?”

  “Negative, Caballero,” said Nuts.

  “Raccoons are trash-eaters, true,” Buggies said. “But mostly they do it because they can.”

  Nuts and Buggies twitched in the net, watching the raccoons make their gross mess. The skunks seemed pretty small with their fur all squashed down, and the raccoons looked huge lumbering across that lawn. Dangerous, even—from far away, I could feel it. I guess they got bored with scattering the trash. The biggest one snarled, and they all moved on down the sidewalk.

  Toward us.

  The raccoons were only a block and a half away.

  And they were getting louder.

  “Holy monkeys, Mateo! Don’t raccoons spread rabies or something?” asked Ashwin.

  “I … I think so,” I said. “But only if they already have it. And only if they bite you.”

  “Jeez, man. I think those things might have it—don’t you?”

  The skunks started to wriggle really hard—they were kinda freaking out—and Mila stepped closer to me. She grabbed onto my hand, and I let her hold it.

  “We’ve got to get them to take us to Stink Base, sir. We’re in an insecure position, and I think the raccoons have spotted us,” Nuts said.

  I kept checking on the skunks and then the raccoons. Skunks. Raccoons. Skunks. And the next time I looked at the raccoons, the big one stood up on his back feet and snarled. I took a half step back without really meaning to.

  Buggies heaved up off his butt, leaned as close as he could to me. “Let us out, kid. Let us out and run for it. An enemy this vicious so close at hand calls for a full retreat. There is no loss of honor in protecting your weaponry. We’ve got to get the trike back to Stink Base.”

  Down the sidewalk, the biggest raccoon started loping a little faster, and the other raccoons came bumping after him. Mila let go of my hand, hopped onto the seat of the trike, and grabbed the handlebars.

  “Don’t let them get it, Mateo!” she said.

  She backpedaled a little toward me, and the empty bucket of the trike bumped the handle of the net. That’s when I decided what to do. I swooped the net up with both skunks inside, then slammed it down on the trike bucket. The skunks were still trapped under the netting, but we would be able to move them. Well, almost trapped.

  “Ashwin, duct tape!”

  Ashwin lunged over and pulled a half-used roll of tape out of the basket on the front of his bike. I held the rim of the net against the trike bucket while Ashwin duct-taped it on.

  “I’m not letting you out. Not yet. You guys are coming with us.”

  Every time Ashwin ripped off a new piece of duct tape, I flinched a little. Schrrrr. Snap. A couple more pieces and the net would be secure. Th
e skunks really would be our prisoners of war.

  “Hurry up, Canela,” Mila shouted at Ashwin. “They’re almost here.”

  The raccoons loomed out of the dark. Half a block away. I could only see their sloped backs, but I could actually hear their claws clicking on the concrete. Once the raccoons got to the next streetlight, we were going to be dead—maybe rabies-infested—meat.

  After Ashwin put one more piece of tape on the net, I shoved him over toward his bike. “Mount up!” I said. “Nuts, Buggies, take us to your base.”

  Nuts leaned in to murmur in Buggies’ ear. He sounded like a creaky wheel. I only heard the words supplies and borrow before Buggies gave a little nod.

  “All right,” said Buggies. “Let’s RTB, but we have to travel in tight formation. We can’t have those trash-eaters see us going in.”

  “Or we’ll be snail-bait for sure,” squeaked Nuts.

  “What’s RTB?” asked Mila, her eyeballs getting all shiny.

  I just shrugged.

  Ashwin tipped his rusty bike up off the ground. “Don’t worry, Polka Dots,” he told Mila, “it just means ‘Return to Base.’”

  “How did you know that?” I asked.

  “I don’t know,” he shrugged. “Maybe from a movie?”

  I climbed up onto Steed. “Tell Mila where to go. We’ll follow you guys.” Mila looked up at me. She seemed kinda scared but started rolling when Nuts whispered squeaky directions in her ear. I pedaled after them.

  We all rode off in a tight triangle formation—Mila leading the way, me and Ashwin coming behind—watching each flank for red-eyed raccoons. When we got to the corner, Mila made a hard left and I checked over my shoulder. The raccoons were rumbling along under the streetlight, sniffing at the roll of duct tape we had left on the sidewalk. I turned the corner and didn’t peek back again. Our armor crackled, but otherwise we stayed pretty quiet. I listened for the click of claws behind us for a couple blocks, but I guess we lost them. I took a few deep breaths but I could still feel my heart beating in the tips of my ears.

  Then all of a sudden, we were there.

  “Welcome to Stink Base,” Buggies said.

  18.

  The Base

  So, I can’t really tell you where Stink Base is. I promised I wouldn’t. It’s kind of on the way home, kind of not. As we rode there, Nuts and Buggies were still trapped in the bucket of the trike, their black-and-white fur pressed against the pink mesh net.

  “Let us out, Caballero, before the raccoons track our position,” said Nuts.

  When I caught Ashwin’s eye, I could tell he was a little disappointed, and I was too. I’d imagined their base would be awesome. I mean, they were skunks that stole stuff, talked, and could ride a trike.

  But Stink Base was only a big hedge.

  I could have walked right past it.

  I had walked right past it, maybe a million times.

  “What you waiting for?” said Buggies. “Let us out so we can move this operation to a secure location.”

  I wasn’t 100 percent sure about setting them free. I just had to go with my gut.

  I pried the net off the trike’s bucket. The trike tipped a little with Mila in it, but she didn’t say anything. Both skunks leaped out of the bucket, shook their fur, and stood back to back, checking their surroundings with their paws up. For a second, I thought we were in for it.

  Another attack.

  But after scanning the street, Buggies said, “No enemies sighted. Lead us in, Nuts.”

  “Yes sir, Sergeant Buggies!” Nuts bent down and fumbled under the edge of the bush. He grabbed hold of an old white rope and started to tug. I heard the screechy whine of a pulley, and the front of the hedge lifted away like a garage door.

  We all went inside. I mean, like, deep inside the hedge. Me and Ashwin left our bikes on the sidewalk, but Mila rode the trike right into Stink Base. There was a ramp dug into the ground—an entrance tunnel. Old black and white linoleum tiles lined the floor and the walls. It was exactly like the tile we used to have in our kitchen before Dad put the wood in last year. The skunks’ feet clicked against the linoleum as they disappeared down the ramp and off into some kind of room. It was way dark, but Mila rolled right after them.

  After more skittering of skunk feet on the tiles, some lights turned on.

  Christmas twinkle lights were hanging down from the ceiling. Me and Ashwin had to duck so we wouldn’t knock them down. Stink Base is pretty big—I mean, if you’re a skunk. The room curved like the bottom of an empty pool. The skunks had propped up scavenged tarps with ropes and old broom handles to make a ceiling. We could see bits of the thick hedge peeking through under the tarps. And I spotted two tiny bunks carved into the wall, half covered with dishrag curtains. Mila hopped off the trike and tried to curl up in one but even she was too big.

  “Get your big feet out of my bunk, Polka Dots,” squeaked Nuts.

  Above the black and white tiles, there were shelves dug into the room’s dirt walls. Cool stuff covered every part of them. Old pickle jars filled with food, stray screws, bent nails, power tools, old garden hoses, and extension cords.

  “Nice,” I said, nodding. “These are some righteous raw materials.”

  “Welcome to Military Appropriations,” said Buggies, waving at the shelves.

  Nuts unscrewed the top of a glass jar and started crunching something. He tossed a few to Buggies.

  “Any of the chocolate-covered grasshopper rations left?” asked Buggies.

  “Nah. We’ve only got almonds—sorry, sir,” said Nuts.

  “Ah, nuts!” Buggies shrugged and started to munch away.

  “Help yourselves, stinkers,” said Nuts, offering the open jar.

  I was the only one who took an almond. I could see a couple of moldy ones near the bottom, and all the chocolate had gone white and crusty like Halloween candy that’s been in your room too long. But it was totally okay.

  Crunch.

  Crunch.

  Crunch.

  We were safe, and I had the trike (kinda), but I still had a bunch of questions. I wasn’t sure what to do or where to sit. There were only two tiny lawn chairs, the kind for toddlers, set up next to a tree stump table. I stood in the middle of the room, bending over a little so my head wouldn’t bump into the lights.

  Ashwin started poking around in the shelves. Mila took down a skateboard with three wheels and sat on it, trying to ride down the slope of the tiled floor.

  “Where did you get all this stuff?” asked Ashwin.

  Nuts chewed on a chocolate-covered almond, really loud, like “this is the only answer you’re gonna get,” and Buggies crossed his arms.

  “I think I might know,” I said. “Remember what I told you about the Vega house?” I turned to Buggies and Nuts. “You guys have been stealing stuff from all over the neighborhood. Mom and Dad think it’s me.”

  Nuts just shrugged and crunched another almond. “Like I said, welcome to Military Appropriations. These supplies were taken in name of the Midnight War. Show ’em your scar, Nuts.”

  Nuts pushed back the fur on one side of his head. That’s when I noticed that he pretty much only had one ear. “Tore it right off,” squeaked Nuts. He flopped down into one of the little chairs.

  “Oh, jeez!” said Ashwin. “Mateo, these guys probably have rabies too. That’s it! That’s gotta be it!” He started back up the ramp, but Mila was squinting at me with her head cocked. I could tell she wanted me to decide whether the skunks were okay or not.

  Well, the skunks had definitely stolen all their supplies, and some of that Mom and Dad blamed on me. But Stink Base was pretty cool, and I could see the skunks were at war. They needed a base. Somewhere they could be safe. I guess “Military Appropriations” was their only choice. I mean, skunks can’t just go to the hardware store and buy stuff. So I decided to be okay with it as long as I didn’t keep getting the blame. And, yeah, there was definitely, absolutely, something weird about Nuts and Buggies, but I didn’t think
they were rabid.

  “Hold up, man,” I said to Ashwin before he disappeared up the tunnel. “I don’t think these guys have rabies. But I don’t know about those raccoons.”

  “Negative and negative, sir,” said Buggies. “We are clear of that particular virus, and as far as we know, so are the raccoons.”

  “So … how did you guys get this way?” I asked.

  “Yeah, and why don’t the raccoons talk too?” asked Ashwin, creeping back from the tunnel one step at a time.

  I waited for an answer, but Buggies just shifted on his paws. I swear I heard a couple of crickets chirp. Nuts crossed his little skunk arms like Mila does when she doesn’t want to tell Mom something. He stared me dead in the face without blinking. No answer.

  Buggies sniffed a little. “Nuts, I think they deserve to know … But Caballero, we just don’t have any answers.”

  “What do you mean? You guys have to know!”

  Nuts squinted sideways at Buggies, and they both shrugged together.

  “Every once in a while Nuts gets a wild idea … ,” Buggies said, “but that’s all we’ve got. Good guesswork.”

  “Like the commander said—” Nuts pointed at me with one of his tiny claws. “—some things just don’t have any explanation, Caballero. No matter how much you want them to.”

  “Cooooool!” said Ashwin, nodding his head real slow.

  I could tell Ashwin was already thinking up a hundred different explanations for the skunks. Like maybe they were some experiment gone wrong, maybe they were some alien hybrid, or maybe they were just magic. I think as long as he knew he could never figure it out, he was okay dreaming about all those maybes. But I … I wanted a reason.

  “Nothing about this is cool,” I said. “There has to be an explanation. You guys came from somewhere. And what about those raccoons?”

  Both skunks kinda rolled their eyes, like, “we don’t have to explain anything to you, ” and I guess they didn’t. They were right in front of me, and I was pretty sure they weren’t holding anything back. I’m not saying I didn’t want to know where they came from. I did. I still do. But wherever they did come from, they were real.

  “Okay.” I put my hands up. “We can’t let those raccoons trash the neighborhood and take over the playground every night. These guys need our help, so we need a plan.”