Time to Laugh Romance Collection

by Wanda E. Brunstetter

  The audience roared and clapped their approval. Tabby felt herself begin to relax a little, and she was even able to make her dummy say a few words.

  “What makes you think I’d marry a dummy?” Rosie announced. “Do I look stupid?”

  “No, but you sure are cute!” Rudy shot back.

  More laughter from the audience. This was fun—almost. What was Tabby going to do once Seth and Rudy left the stage? So far, she’d only spoken for Rosie. How would things go when she was forced to speak herself?

  Rudy and Rosie bantered back and forth a bit longer; then finally Seth said the words Tabby had been dreading. “Well, folks, I think it’s time for Rudy and me to say good-bye. I’ll leave you in the capable hands of Tabby and her friend, Rosie. I’m sure they have lots of fun up their sleeves.” With that, Seth grabbed Rudy and his stand and marched off the stage. The audience clapped, and Tabby nearly panicked. She forgot to pray, and in her own strength, she tried to concentrate on her routine. Everything Seth had told her seemed like ancient history. She couldn’t think of anything except trying to please the audience and the paralyzing fear that held her in its grip.

  “Say, R–Rosie, h–have you h–heard any good elephant j–jokes lately?” she finally squeaked.

  “Oh, sure. Would you like to hear them?” Rosie responded.

  Tabby only nodded. One less sentence to stammer through.

  “Why do elephants have wrinkles?” Rosie asked.

  “I d–don’t know.”

  “Well, for goodness’ sake, have you ever tried to iron one?”

  A few snickers came from the audience, but it was nothing compared to the belly laughs Seth had gotten. This did little to bolster Tabby’s confidence, and she struggled to remember the rest of her performance.

  “I sure wish I had enough money to buy an elephant,” Rosie said.

  “Why w–would you—you w–want an el–elephant?”

  “I don’t. I just want the money.”

  Tabby paused, hoping the audience would catch on to the little joke, but they didn’t. Not even Donna laughed. Tabby felt like a deflated balloon. So much for the confidence she thought she might have gained. She was failing miserably at entertaining this audience, much less bringing any glory to God through her so-called talent. Then there was Seth. What must he think of his star pupil now? He was probably as mortified as she was, and she couldn’t blame him one little bit.

  “M–money isn’t everything, R–Rosie,” Tabby said.

  “It’s all I need.”

  “Do y–you know w–what the Bible says about m–money?”

  “No, do you?”

  Tabby did know what it said, but for the life of her, she couldn’t remember. In fact, she had no idea what to say or do next. The audience looked bored with her routine, and she’d done nothing but tell stale jokes and stutter ever since Seth took his leave. Her hands were shaking so badly she could hardly hold Rosie still, and her legs felt like two sticks made of rubber. If she didn’t get off this platform soon, she would probably pass out cold.

  Tabby drew in a deep breath, grabbed Rosie up in one quick swoop, and darted off the stage.

  Chapter 16

  Tabby was sobbing hysterically by the time she reached the room offstage. With all Seth’s encouragement, she’d almost begun to believe she did have some talent, but she’d blown it big-time. She had let God down, disappointed Seth, and made a complete fool of herself in front of nearly two hundred people! How could she have let this happen? Why hadn’t she just told Seth no? All she wanted to do was go home, jump into bed, and bury her head under the covers.

  She felt Seth’s arms go around her waist. “It’s okay, Tabby,” he murmured against her ear. “This was your first time, and you were a little nervous, that’s all. It’s happened to everyone, and it will get easier with time and practice.” He slid his hand up to her back and began patting it, as though that would somehow bring her comfort. “You’ll do better next time, I’m sure of it.”

  Tabby pulled away sharply. “There won’t be a next time, Seth! Except for the day care kids, I’ll never have another audience.”

  “Yes, you will. You could be perfect if you’d give yourself half a chance. Please, let me help you….”

  It seemed as though Seth was asking her to be perfect at ventriloquism, but some of the things she’d heard him say to both Donna and herself made Tabby wonder if what Seth really wanted was for her to be perfect.

  “You’ve helped me enough!” she cried. “Thanks to you, I made myself look like a total idiot out there!”

  Before Seth could offer a rebuttal, Tabby jerked the door open. “Find someone else to help,” she called over her shoulder. “I’ll never be perfect, and I’m not the woman you need!” Slamming the door, she dashed down the hall. Despite the tears blinding her eyes, Tabby could see someone standing by the front door of the church. It was Donna.

  Tabby shook her head. “Don’t even say it. I don’t want your pity or any kind of sappy pep talk about how things will go better next time.”

  Donna opened her mouth to say something, but Tabby yanked on the door handle, raced down the steps, and headed straight for her car. All she wanted was to be left alone.

  The next few weeks were filled with mounting tension. Tabby barely spoke to anyone, and Donna kept trying to draw her into a conversation. Seth phoned several times, but Tabby wouldn’t accept any of his calls. He even dropped by the day care on two occasions, but she refused to talk to him. It pained her to think she’d fallen in love with a man who couldn’t accept her for the way she was. If he wanted “perfect,” then he might be better off with someone like Cheryl Stone. Why hadn’t he asked her to fill in for the ventriloquist who couldn’t do the routine for the crusade? At least Cheryl wouldn’t have humiliated herself or Seth in front of a church full of people.

  A phone call from her parents, a week later, threw Tabby into deeper depression. On Friday night they would be hosting an engagement party for Lois. Tabby was expected to come, of course. She had always been obligated to attend family functions, even if no one seemed to notice she was there. If she didn’t go, she’d probably never hear the end of it, but it irked her that they waited until the last minute to extend an invitation. There was hardly enough time to buy a suitable gift.

  The party was set for six thirty, and it was a good forty-five-minute drive from Tacoma to Olympia. That was barring any unforeseen traffic jams on the freeway. Tabby knew she’d have to leave for Olympia by five thirty. The day care was open until six thirty, but Donna said she and their helper could manage alone for an hour.

  Seth was fit to be tied. His phone calls to Tabby and his trips to the day care had been for nothing. No matter how much he pleaded, she still refused to talk to him. He could understand her being upset about the routine she’d botched at the crusade. That didn’t excuse her for staying mad at him, though.

  Sitting at his workbench, mechanically sanding the arm of a new vent figure, Seth sulked. At first he’d only thought of Tabby as someone who needed his help. Then he began to see her as a friend. Finally, he realized he could love her, but she just didn’t fit his mold for the “perfect” wife.

  Even though they hadn’t known each other very long, Seth cared a lot about Tabby and only wanted the best for her. She’d accused him of trying to change her. Maybe it was true. If he were being totally honest, he’d have to admit he did want her to be different—to fit into his special design and become the kind of person he wanted her to be. Tabby might be right. Perhaps he should find someone more suited to him. Maybe Cheryl Stone would be a better match. She had talent, confidence, and beauty. There was just one problem…. He wasn’t in love with Cheryl. The truth of this revelation slammed into Seth with such force, it left him with a splitting headache. Until this very moment, he’d never really admitted it. He was actually in love with Tabby Johnson, and not for what she could be, but rather for who she was—gentle and sweet spirited with children, humble and never b
ragging, compassionate and helpful—all the qualities of a true Christian.

  Seth left his seat and moved toward the front door of his shop. He put the CLOSED sign in the window then turned off the lights. What he really needed was a long talk with God, followed by a good night’s sleep. Maybe he could think things through more clearly in the morning.

  “Are you sure you don’t want me to go with you tonight?” Donna asked Tabby as she prepared to leave the day care center.

  Tabby shook her head. “This shindig is for family members only—our side and the groom’s. Besides, you’ve got another date with Alex, remember?”

  Donna shrugged. “I know how much you dread being with your family. If I were there, it might buffer things a bit. I could call Alex and cancel.”

  “Not on your life! It’s taken you forever to get past your fear of dating a PK. Don’t ruin it by breaking a date when it’s totally unnecessary.” Tabby waved her hand. “Besides, I’m a grown woman. As you’ve pointed out many times, it’s high time I learn to deal with my family without having someone there to hold my hand.”

  Donna squeezed Tabby’s arm. “Okay, try to have fun tonight, and please, drive carefully.”

  Tabby wrinkled her nose. “Don’t I always?”

  “It’s not your driving I’m worried about. It’s all those maniacs who exceed the speed limit and act as if they own the whole road.”

  “I’ll be careful,” Tabby promised as she went out the door.

  Tabby was glad she’d left in plenty of time, because the freeway was terrible this night. She was tempted to take the next exit and travel the back roads, but the traffic was so congested, she wasn’t sure she could even move over a lane in order to get off. By the time she finally pulled off at the Olympia exit, Tabby was a bundle of nerves.

  She knew part of her apprehension was because she was about to enter the lions’ den. At least, that’s the way it always felt whenever she did anything that involved her family. If only Mom and Dad could love and accept her the way they did Lois. If only she was the kind of daughter they wanted. What exactly did they want? Beauty … brains … boldness? Lois had all three, and she’d been Dad’s favorite ever since she was born. But what parent in their right mind would love one child more than another?

  Tabby clenched her teeth. Everyone wanted her to change. Was there anyone willing to accept her just the way she was? Donna used to, but lately she’d been pressing Tabby to step out in faith and begin using her talents to serve the Lord. If I ever have any children of my own, I’ll love them all the same, no matter how different they might be.

  Then there was Seth. Tabby thought at first he just wanted to help her, but she was quite sure now he’d been trying to make her over ever since they first met. Was she really so unappealing the way she was? Must she become a whole new person in order for her family and friends to love and accept her?

  A verse of scripture from Second Corinthians popped into her mind: “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!”

  Tabby had accepted the Lord at an early age. She knew she’d been cleansed of her sins, which made her a “new creation.” Her stuttering problem and lack of confidence had made her unwilling to completely surrender her life to Christ and let Him use all her talents, though. If she were really a new creation, shouldn’t she be praying and asking the Lord’s help to become all she could be? She hadn’t prayed or kept her focus on Jesus the other night at the church program. Instead, she’d been trying to impress the audience.

  “I’ll think about this later,” Tabby murmured as she turned into her parents’ driveway. Her primary concern right now was making it through Lois’s engagement party.

  Seth was tired of dodging his problems. With Bible in hand and a glass of cold lemonade, he took a seat at the kitchen table, determined to relinquish his own selfish desires and seek God’s will for his life.

  The first passage of scripture he came to was in Matthew. Jesus was teaching the Beatitudes to a crowd of people. Seth read verse five aloud. “ ‘Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth.’ ”

  He propped his elbows on the table and leaned his chin against his palms. “Hmm … Tabby fits that category, all right.”

  He jumped down to verse eight. “ ‘Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.’ “ How could he have been so blind? Purity seemed to emanate from Tabby. Morally, she seemed like a clear, crisp mountain stream, untouched by the world’s pollution.

  Seth turned to the book of Proverbs, knowing the thirty-first chapter addressed the subject of an honorable wife. “A wife of noble character who can find? She is worth far more than rubies.” He scanned the rest of the chapter, stopping to read verse thirty. “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.”

  Praised. Not ridiculed, coerced, or changed into something other than what she was. Seth placed one hand on the open Bible. He knew he’d found a good thing when he met Tabitha Johnson. Even though she was shy and couldn’t always speak without stuttering, she had a generous heart and loved the Lord. Wasn’t that what he really wanted in a wife?

  Seth bowed his head and closed his eyes. “Dear Lord, forgive me for wanting Tabby to change. You love her just as she is, and I should, too. Please give me the chance to make amends. If she’s the woman You have in mind for me, then work out the details and make her heart receptive to my love. Amen.”

  Unexpected tears fell from Seth’s eyes, and he sniffed. He had to talk to Tabby right away, while the truth of God’s Word was still fresh on his heart. Praying as he dialed the telephone, Seth petitioned God to give him the right words.

  When Donna answered, Seth asked for Tabby.

  “She’s not home,” Donna said. She sounded as though she was either in a hurry or trying to put him off. Was Tabby still too angry to speak with him? Had she asked Donna to continue monitoring her phone calls?

  “I really do need to speak with her,” Seth said with a catch in his voice. “It’s important.”

  “I’m not giving you the runaround, Seth. Tabby isn’t home right now.”

  “Where is she?”

  “She left work a little early and drove to Olympia.”

  “Why’d she go there?”

  “It’s where her parents live. They’re having an engagement party for her sister, Lois.”

  “Oh.” Seth blew out his breath. If Tabby was in Olympia, she probably wouldn’t get home until late. There would be no chance of talking to her until tomorrow.

  “I’d like to talk more, Seth, but my date just arrived,” Donna said.

  He groaned. “Yeah, okay. Tell Tabby I’ll call her tomorrow.” Seth hung up the phone and leaned his head on the table. Why was it that whenever he made a decision to do something, there always seemed to be some kind of roadblock? If only he’d committed this situation to God a bit sooner.

  “Guess all I can do is put things in Your hands, Lord … which is exactly where they should have been in the first place.”

  Chapter 17

  Tabby’s mother greeted her at the door with a frown. “You’re late. Everyone else is here already.”

  Tabby glanced at her watch. It was ten minutes to seven. She was only twenty minutes late. She chose not to make an issue of it, though, merely shrugging and handing her mother the small bag she was holding. “Here’s my g–gift for L–Lois.”

  Mom took the gift and placed it on a table just inside the living room door. “Come in. Everyone’s in the backyard, waiting for your father to finish barbecuing the sirloin steaks.”

  Tabby grimaced. Apparently Dad was going all out for his favorite daughter. If I were engaged, I doubt I’d even be given an engagement party, much less one with all the trimmings. And even if there were a party in my honor, Dad would probably fix plain old hamburgers, instead of a select, choice cut of meat.

  “How was the freeway tonight?” Mom asked as she and Tabby made their way down the
hallway, leading to the back of their modest but comfortable, split-level home.

  “Bad. R–really bad. That’s w–why I’m l–late,” Tabby mumbled.

  Mom didn’t seem to be listening. She was scurrying about the kitchen, looking through every drawer and cupboard as if her life depended upon finding whatever it was she was searching for.

  “C–can I help w–with anything?” Tabby asked.

  “I suppose you can get the jug of iced tea from the refrigerator. I’ve got to find the longhandled fork for your father. He sent me in here five minutes ago to look for it.”

  Tabby crossed the room, opened the refrigerator, grabbed the iced tea, and started for the back door.

  “Wait a minute,” Mom called. “I found the fork. Would you take it out to Dad?”

  “Aren’t you c–coming?” Tabby took the fork from her mother and waited expectantly.

  “I’ll be out in a minute. I just need to check on my pan of baked beans.”

  Tabby shrugged and headed out the door, wishing she could be anywhere else but here.

  About twenty people were milling around the Johnsons’ backyard. Some she recognized as aunts, uncles, and cousins. Then there was Grandma Haskins, Dad, Lois, and her sister’s wealthy fiancé, Michael Yehley. Some faces were new to her. She assumed those were people related to the groom.

  “I see you finally decided to join us,” Dad said gruffly, when Tabby handed him the barbecue fork. “Ever since you were a kid, you’ve been slow. Yep, slower than a turtle plowing through peanut butter. How come you’re always late for everything?”

  Peanut butter, Tabby mused. That’s what Seth has a fear of eating. It seemed that lately everything made her think about Seth. She wouldn’t even allow Dad’s little put-down to rattle her as much as usual. She was too much in love. There, she’d finally admitted it—at least to herself. For all the good it will do me. Seth doesn’t have a clue how I feel, and even if he did, it wouldn’t matter. He sees me only as a friend—someone to help out of her shell. She frowned. Besides, I’m still mad at him for coercing me into doing that dumb vent routine.