Illusion

by Ashley Beale

  She kisses the top of my head and walks towards the door, opening it for Brice.

  When Brice walks in, he is holding a bottle of wine. I haven't even thought of having a sip since that night. I want to smile at the gesture but it kind of hurts. He sets it down on the counter, not saying anything to me as he pulls things out of a small tote bag from the grocery store.

  I see some movie rentals, as well as a plastic container that looks to be holding cupcakes or some kind of pastry. He grabs a couple glasses from the cupboard, pops the cork, and pours two glasses of wine. I can actually feel myself shaking just at the thought of consuming it. I know it's weird, it wasn't the wine that tried to kill me- it was myself. But it brings up the memories anyways.

  He manages to bring everything into the living in one arm load. Without asking me to take a glass, he places one in front of my face. I take them both and set them down, and he places the plastic container that is indeed holding cupcakes, chocolate frosted ones at that, next to them. He walks over and puts a movie into the DVD player.

  Without a word still, he walks into my bedroom. When he comes back out it's with a pillow and a throw blanket. He tosses them on the couch next to me. Then, without any notice, he pulls his shirt off. Whoa, not expecting that. All I can do is stare. He unbuttons his jeans and slides them down and steps out. My heart starts accelerating, not understanding what is going on.

  Brice walks over, hits play on the player, then sits on the couch. He reaches over, grabs his wine and sits back, putting the blanket over his lap. I'm so dumbstruck, I just stare. I can't seem to find words to ask him what just happened, or is happening, and I can't find the ability to move in for a cupcake, or the wine, or him. They're just as equally delicious.

  Finally he turns to look at me and he smiles softly before taking a sip of wine. He points his glass at mine when he is done savoring the taste. "Don't let it get too warm, it's good." He then turns back to the television as if none of this is weird. I haven't even looked at it to see what is playing, I'm still just too confused by this situation.

  "I, uh, yeah, I guess, sure, why not."

  He faces me again and lifts one side of his mouth into a smile. "You already drunk or something?"

  Yes, yes, I am drunk... on you.

  "Uh, no."

  "You feeling okay?"

  "What just happened?" I finally ask what I've been wanting to.

  "What ever do you mean?" I can hear the sarcasm in his voice.

  I squint my eyes at him. "You know what I mean. What was that?"

  He chuckles then sets his glass down on the table. He turns his body to face mine. "I was trying to lighten the mood. You're going to get healed completely before getting back to work, this is one step. Drink some wine. Stop thinking about things so much and enjoy yourself. Enjoy life. Enjoy a cupcake. Enjoy the movie."

  "And you." It comes out of my mouth before I have time to think.

  His face brightens and his eyes darken. He clears his throat and leans in just a little. "Excuse me, did you just say that?"

  I bite on my lip and I can feel myself blush. "What ever do you mean?" I steal his line, then I steal the pillow and bring it to my lap while he starts roaring in laughter.

  "Oh, you're not getting away with that."

  He pulls the blanket off his lap, grabs my pillow and tosses it on the floor, then he grabs my arm and pulls me towards him. I yelp at the sudden change in direction. His lips are on mine in a matter of seconds and I melt into his mouth. He adjusts us so I'm straddling his lap. It's a little awkward with him being in just his boxers while I’m fully clothed. Especially when he hardens under me, but I'm enjoying his tongue mixing with my own so I don't think too much on it.

  His mouth moves to my neck and I can feel his breathing increase against my warmed skin. His kisses are soft and tender, nothing like the time when we had that moment on my couch. His hands pull on the hem of my shirt and I allow him to lift it off me. He runs his hands up and down the sides of my stomach as his mouth goes to my collar bone. He licks along it then starts kissing on the other side of my neck and along my shoulder. I can feel myself getting ready for him.

  I grind my hips down into him and he moans against my skin, making it even hotter than it was. He lifts me so I'm now standing in front of him, then he unsnaps my jeans and pulls them down. I step out of them and am left in just my underwear and bra, which are both just white cotton. Not sexy at all, in fact it’s kind of embarrassing. He doesn't seem to mind as his lips come to my navel and he licks up a ways up before biting down on some skin. It causes me to gasp loudly.

  Grabbing my hips, he pulls my body over and I fall down to the couch onto my back. He adjusts himself so he is on his knees, between my legs, and he brings his lips back to my mouth. His body slowly approaches mine and I wrap my legs around his waist. The only thing separating us are our undergarments.

  He slowly grinds into me, not going too hard, but it feels incredible. His lips leave mine again I shudder when they come in contact with my ear.

  "I love you too," he says against it.

  "T- too?" I'm breathless, and his words don't help matters any.

  He kisses beside my ear and whispers again. "I heard you tell me you loved me at the hospital. I've been waiting for the right time to tell you too."

  He pulls back and looks down at me. I know my eyes are welling up with tears, but it's with more joy than I thought I'd ever feel again. "I, I do, I love you Brice."

  "I know." He kisses my nose and pulls back far enough it separates us completely. I want to protest but before I'm even given the chance, he lifts me up and carries me into the bedroom. "We're doing this the right way."

  I kiss his lips before he places me down on the bed. He pulls his boxers down as I slide off my undies, then I unsnap my bra, tossing it to the ground. I know I was naked in front of him once, when he showered me that night, but this time I'm more exposed. I'm about to give him a piece of me that I didn't think I'd ever give anyone again. This isn't sex, this isn't about passion, this is purely us about to love one another in the best of ways. This our souls dancing together, getting to know one another, grabbing at each other, falling for one another. This is us, about to make love.

  Brice kisses my lips softly before entering inside me. Yeah, it's definitely been a long time since I've had sex. It takes a moment for me to adjust to him and when I do, he slowly pulls out and pushes back into me. It's teasing and it's utterly amazing. He kisses my lips again, as he continues to go slowly in and out of me. One hand finds mine, grabbing a hold of me tight, the other explores my face and hair. We watch each other, not saying anything at all. The sound of his breathing mixing with mine, his body moving in and out of me, our hearts hammering in our chests, those are the only sounds in the room and they're screaming out everything that needs to be said- they're yelling out how much we love one another.

  When my body is getting ready to release everything inside of me, he pumps a little harder into me. His lips meet mine and we end up coming together. His lips are pressing so hard into mine as I'm trying to catch my breath and something about the moment makes it all the more passionate and romantic. My body is loving everything about this moment. When he is done shaking inside of me, he pulls our lips apart, and a long moan escapes from my mouth, causing me to shiver all over.

  "Wow," he breathes.

  I nod my head while closing my eyes. "Yeah, wow is right."

  "I've never done that before."

  My eyes immediately snap open and I stare at him in disbelief. His smile widens. "I've had sex before, no, that wasn't my first time having sex," he laughs, then gets serious again. "That was my first time... making love." He shakes his head. "I can't believe I'm corny enough to say making love but that is all I can think of right now."

  I grab the back of his neck and pull his face to mine, kissing him more passionately this time. We ended up rolling over, him still inside of me, and now I'm on top. I can feel his length twitching insid
e of me, getting ready for a second time. I continue kissing him while my hands explore his chest and arms and neck and hair, while his run up and down my legs, butt, and back.

  When I feel that he is completely ready for me, I lift my hips and slowly lower myself onto him again. He growls in my mouth while his hands grab my hips, and he helps me ride him until we're both coming apart again. It wasn't nearly as powerful the second time around, but it was definitely something incredible just the same.

  Later that night, while we're both lying in bed, this time he has on boxers and I have on pajamas, he wraps his arm around my stomach and we spoon. I stare off in the distance with a smile on my face as he rains kisses on my shoulder and neck. "I have to ask you something." His voice is soft yet powering.

  I close my eyes, not that he can see, and will myself to ask him what. "Okay," I drag out the word, "what?"

  "I want you to meet my family."

  Wow, I didn't realize those seven words were just as powerful as the three words he said earlier tonight. I can't help but smile largely at that. I turn in his arms and plant a kiss to his lips. "I would love to."

  His smile matches mine. "Really? You would?" I nod my head before he even finishes asking. He seems so joyous over the idea. "Can we go before you have to go back to work?"

  My nerves flutter out of control over the idea, but I'm still happy nonetheless. "When would you want to go?"

  "This upcoming weekend? We could leave when I get out of work Friday night and make sure we're back Sunday evening."

  "Emi is going to be mad we can't have a get together at the apartment, but I would love nothing more."

  He kisses me again and we fall asleep wrapped in each other’s arms.

  The rest of the week goes by perfect, and when Thursday rolls around and it's time to start packing, I can feel myself finally panic. Emi walks into the bedroom while I'm tossing things onto the floor, the bed, in the suitcase, then back out and onto the closet floor. She laughs at my indecisiveness.

  "God, I think you're worse than me. You only need like two or three outfits. It's hot in Tennessee, just like back home, so shorts, tanks, and sandals. Pack light. You're meeting his family, you don't want to seem needy."

  I roll my eyes and face her. "Fine, help me then." She throws in a few outfits and I'm done. Just like that. Oh, wait! I run to the bathroom and grab my hair stuff and make up and toss that in as well.

  "Uh, you're going to need that all tomorrow, silly."

  "Whatever, I'll just pull it out of the bag and throw it back in when I'm done using whatever. I don't want to forget any of it."

  She smiles and sits on the bed next to the suitcase. "I'm happy for you. I think this is great, that you're meeting his family. You know, even if you're ditching me and the party I had planned." She sticks her tongue out at me and it makes me smile.

  "I told you, next weekend."

  "Yeah, yeah, whatever. You're not meeting Quade until then though."

  "You're not making him up are you?" I cross my arms and lift a brow. She falls back on the bed and starts laughing, shaking her head.

  "No, no, I can very much promise you I'm not." She pulls out her phone and shows me pictures of him. Wow, he is a beautiful looking man. I tell her I'm impressed and she gushes some more about him.

  We end up meeting up with Meghan and Ryan, and have a dinner together, just the four of us, drinking cocktails and having girl talk. It feels so fitting with the life I'm trying to have again. A life with joy and happiness, filled with laughter, friends and family. I'm not even on antidepressants anymore, and I'm happy.

  Not to say that I haven't been pushed by Dr. Ross, Emi, my parents, or even Brice to get back on the medication, but I want to heal naturally. Between having everyone surround me with love and adoration, and the routine I'm pushing myself in to, I don't see the need to medicate myself again. I'm sure it works wonders for most people, but for me, not so much.

  It just goes to show that everyone heals in their own way.

  Tennessee is gorgeous. It reminds me of back in Georgia, only a different kind of south. I'm already in love and we just arrived an hour ago.

  Brice's family lives in Knoxville, which is a pretty large city, but it has a nice country feel. Although none of his three siblings live at home, since he is back visiting they’re all driving in. I guess they live within an hour from his mom's house, so it isn't a hassle for any of them. Brice got out of work at lunch to catch an earlier flight, so we get here while the sun is still shining.

  Walking into his mom's house- his dad left them years ago and lives in Texas now- I feel warm and comforted already. She is one of those moms who have a million and one pictures of her children and grandchildren throughout the house. She also has silly little knick knacks placed all about from travels, white lacey curtains, and a soft, inviting couch.

  She walks out of the kitchen and her face beams at the sight of her son. "Oh, Brice, come here." Her arms open up and she takes a few steps towards him. His shoulders slump in slight embarrassment, but he walks to her and gives her a large hug. He even kisses her cheek when he pulls away.

  Her eyes take him in for a moment before they land on me and she is smiling like crazy again. "And you must be Zoey! It's so great to finally meet you, this one can't seem to shut up about you."

  My stomach erupts in butterflies at her admission. I look towards Brice who has his lips pressed together and he is facing towards the ceiling. So cute! His mom wraps me in her arms, no warning, and I lightly pat her back. "Nice to meet you too," I say in return.

  She takes a deep breath when she pulls away. "Okay, well, the rest of the clan should be here within the hour. You mind helping set the table?" Her question is turned to Brice.

  He nods. "No problem, Momma. Let me bring our luggage up to the room, then I'll be down to set the table." He walks over and grabs both our suitcases while his mother stands there wringing her hands.

  "Uh, Brice, she can sleep in Savannah's old room." He turns towards her and gives her a questioning look, as my face brightens pink. I know where she is going with this, she is a mother after all, and this is her home. She clears her throat in a nervous habit. "There isn't going to be any fornication under my roof."

  I have to bite my tongue just so I don't laugh at that. She is trying really hard to be stern and serious, so me laughing when I just met her minutes ago would be so much more inappropriate than what she just said.

  Brice's jaw drops and his eyes turn into saucers. He wasn't expecting that either. "I, uh, Momma, I'm twenty six. And I wasn't planning on doing... that, under your roof." His face turns red and it makes me smile to see him blush.

  His mom rubs her hands on her slacks. "Well, you only have a twin mattress anyways, that'd be uncomfortable. Be a gentlemen." Her brows lift, daring him to argue.

  He sighs in defeat, then grabs our bags again. "Yes, ma'am." He gives me an apologetic look then heads up the stairs.

  "Come on, Zoey, you can help set up the table too." I look at her and she is smiling. "I'm not a shy one. If you're invited into my home, you'll be treated like you live here. I'll show you where the silverware and plates are."

  Well, I certainly wasn't expecting that. I repeat Brice's words. "Yes, ma'am."

  She laughs. "Getting called ma'am by my son is one thing, it's out of respect, from another mouth, its another form of being called old. I'm not old." She winks and adjusts the bun in her salt-and-pepper hair. I smile at that, and follow behind her into the kitchen.

  The dining room is adjacent to the kitchen, and it has a very open concept. The view outside the large windows surrounding it is breathtaking. You can see mountains off in the distance and the sky is a mixture of blue and purple, with white puffy clouds. I don't pay much attention to the sky anymore, being surrounded by skyscrapers and all.

  Just as I place down the last setting, Brice comes in with a handful of coasters, hot plates, and some condiments. "Sorry about my Momma." I love that he calls her that, i
t makes my heart swell. "She's a little off." He says that part louder.

  "Remember boy, I'm in charge of your food, and I know where your sleeping tonight. Insults should never be directed towards your Momma. I'll get out the baby pictures."

  His face flushes and I giggle. "Trust me, I like her already."

  He pulls me in and hugs me. I wrap my arms around his shoulder and press my lips softly to his. "She likes you already too, I can tell."

  She comes strutting in and places a few more things on the table. Wow, they really go all out when it comes to setting the table. There are eleven place settings too, which just seems crazy to me. It's like Thanksgiving at my Gramma's house.

  "It's hard not to like a girl you gush about more often than not." She winks at me and exits the room again.

  "She enjoys embarrassing you, doesn't she?"

  Brice kisses my lips once more before separating us. "Way too much. I'm her only son and a pretty big Momma's boy." He shrugs.

  Now that everyone arrives, I see why there are so many place settings, he may only have three siblings, but when two are married and have kids, it can add up fast. His older sister, Lynette, is married to Ralph, and together they have Lydia and Lynzi, who look almost like twins. Then he has a sister a year younger than him, who is Jessie and isn't married. Then his youngest sister, Savannah, who he says is only twenty, is married to someone named George, and their daughters name is Dee Dee.

  All his siblings look so much like him, it's unreal. And oddly enough, none of them look much like his mom, besides the color of her eyes. There aren’t any pictures of his dad around, but I can only assume that that’s who they look more like.

  Once all the introductions are made, and I mentally repeat all their names in my mind over and over, we take a seat at the table. The first thing that catches my attention is the pitcher of sweet iced tea. I haven't had any since I left home and I'm nearly licking my lips just looking at it. Brice chuckles next to me and pours me a glass. I guess I was pretty obvious.