The Lost Daughter of Liverpool: A heartbreaking and gritty family saga (The Mersey Trilogy Book 1)

by Pam Howes

  Dora rolled her eyes. ‘Stop getting carried away. Wait until next year before you start spending money we haven’t got on things we don’t need yet.’

  ‘I’m so excited. I can’t believe it.’ He pulled her back into his arms.

  She hugged him tight. He was as thrilled as she knew he would be. She was too, but there was also an underlying feeling of anxiety in the pit of her stomach and it wouldn’t go away. She hoped it wasn’t an omen. Things would be fine. She was married to the most handsome fella for miles, he had a good job, they had a lovely home, the new business was taking off slowly, and hopefully Palmer’s would be a distant memory for both her and Joanie next year. She and Joe had everything to look forward to with their expected baby. What more could she wish for?

  CHAPTER 9

  Dora glanced around the festively decorated room to see if she recognised anyone. Murphy’s Dance Band were up on the makeshift stage, and the ROF Christmas party was in full swing. She was sitting with their neighbours, Eric and Dolly Parker from the prefabs. Most of the people here tonight were from their estate, but Dora struggled to remember all their names. Once the baby arrived she’d no doubt see a lot more of her neighbours and get better acquainted when she went out for walks with the pram. She felt a little thrill run through her as she thought of the future, and sipped her drink. She was sticking to squashes tonight. The queasy feeling would be there again in the morning and she couldn’t cope with a hangover on top.

  Ivy Bennett and her mate Flo were sitting with several other young women at a circular table, in-between a large, brightly lit Christmas tree and the stage. Dora could see Ivy’s eyes fixed firmly on Joe as he leant back during his sax solo, his own eyes closed in ecstasy. He was note perfect. She felt so proud of him, he loved performing. Before the band took to the stage she and Joe had danced a couple of times and she’d felt Ivy’s eyes burning into her back. For God’s sake, the woman couldn’t be more obvious if she’d written ‘I Fancy Joe’ across her forehead in that tarty red lipstick she wore.

  As Dora watched, Ivy dragged Flo to her feet and the pair danced together, wiggling and gyrating as close to the stage as possible. If she thought it would make Dora jealous she had another think coming. Ivy’s too-tight, shiny red dress had split near the back zip, but she appeared unaware, until one of the other women called out to her and beckoned her to sit down. Her white bra was on show along with the flesh spilling out above her girdle. Dora smirked as she saw the woman whisper to Ivy, and Ivy’s cheeks blushed crimson. Her friend had on a black cardigan and she removed it and draped it around Ivy’s shoulders, hiding the gap. Ivy glanced over and stared straight at Dora, who raised an eyebrow, patted her blonde curls in place and smiled sweetly.

  ‘That your friend?’ Dolly asked, nodding towards the table of women.

  ‘Er, no,’ Dora replied. ‘I don’t really know her.’

  ‘You want to watch that one,’ Dolly muttered. ‘Bloody tart. Got her eye on all the men, single or married. Thinks she can win ’em over with an extra sausage at breakfast. Even tried it on with my Eric when we first moved over this way. Cheeky mare, she’s got no chance.’

  Dora smiled. Eric was a nice man and a kind neighbour, but she’d only ever seen him out in the garden, wearing a stained white vest and a pair of old trousers tied up with a length of twine. Tonight he had on the standard pinstripe demob suit, but the trousers were tight and his jacket didn’t quite meet across his chest. He’d probably regained all the weight he’d lost while away with the army, thanks to Ivy’s extra sausages. He was hardly a pin-up, but Dolly was happy and that was all that mattered, Dora thought. She’d definitely be watching that Ivy one more closely now. Joe never mentioned her but she wondered if he had contact with her during the day, apart from when he ate in the canteen. From now on she’d be making sure he took sarnies for his dinner and a flask of tea. That way he’d have no need to use the canteen at all.

  She turned her attention back to the band. ‘Chattanooga Choo Choo’ was the last song in this spot. Joe would soon be back beside her and they could have a few more dances to the records the band leader would play on his gramophone.

  ‘Won’t be a minute,’ she whispered to Dolly. She made her way to the ladies and bolted herself into a cubicle. She heard the outer door open, and a couple of young women clattered in, talking in breathless voices as though they’d just come off the dance floor.

  ‘Did you see that bloody Ivy’s frock split apart,’ one of them said, laughing loudly.

  ‘Yeah.’ The second one giggled. ‘Serves her right for making a show of herself. Cavorting around in front of Joe like that. It’s wrong when she knows his missus is in the room.’

  ‘She’d gerra right slap round the gob if it were my fella she was mooning after.’

  ‘And mine.’

  It went quiet as the two girls locked themselves in the adjoining cubicles. Dora dashed out, hurriedly washed her hands and rushed back to the party. She took a deep breath and made her way towards the table. Joe had just come off stage and he came over and swept her into his arms, dropping a kiss on her lips.

  ‘You all right, sweetheart?’ He pulled the chair out for her. ‘Would you like another drink?’

  She shook her head. ‘You get one, though.’ More drinks were the last thing she needed, or Dolly might ask her what was wrong when she rushed off again, and then her secret would be no more. She looked across to Ivy’s table. The woman had buttoned up her friend’s cardigan, leaving the top buttons open, making sure her ample cleavage was still on show. Ivy got to her feet, yanking the garment lower so that it covered the split, and Dora saw her friend nod that it looked okay. She stiffened as Ivy walked across to the busy bar and pushed her way to the front where Joe was talking to a pal while he waited to be served. The brazen hussy. Dora jumped up, marched across the room and pushed her way to the front. Elbowing Ivy sharply in the ribs, she slid in beside Joe, who smiled and put his arm around her.

  ‘I’ve changed my mind. I will have another drink,’ she said, smiling at his pal.

  ‘You’ve met my lovely wife, haven’t you, Graham,’ Joe said.

  ‘At the wedding,’ Graham said, smiling back. ‘And may I say, you are looking more beautiful than ever, Dora.’

  ‘Thank you, Graham.’ Dora grinned as Ivy’s face flushed scarlet and she stomped away without waiting to be served.

  ‘Oops, was it something I said?’ Graham laughed, raising an eyebrow.

  Joe ordered the drinks and they made their way back to the table.

  ‘That Ivy woman,’ Dora began. ‘Do you see much of her at work?’

  He shrugged and she watched his face closely, but he didn’t flush or look guilty at all. ‘Only in the canteen, or when she brings the tea trolley onto the factory floor. Why do you ask?’

  ‘Because she never takes her eyes off you. I don’t trust her, Joe.’

  ‘Don’t be silly, love. And believe me, I’ve only got eyes for one girl, and I think you know who that is.’

  Dora smiled, feeling reassured. She did know. But in the next few months she was going to get fat and ungainly, and probably grumpy as well. What if he went off her? He wouldn’t, surely? He loved her. Maybe the insecure feelings were to do with her condition. Hopefully they would pass in time, and once the baby arrived she’d soon get her trim figure back. Joe would never need to look elsewhere.

  Joanie sat back in her theatre seat and looked around, feeling excited. They were seated in the stalls at the Liverpool Empire. It was years since she’d been to see a pantomime, and she’d swear she felt as giddy as the little kids sitting close by. Frank had called at her home on his way back from work and told her he was taking her into town for the night. He said it was a surprise and he’d be back in just under an hour to pick her up as they needed to catch a train to Lime Street station.

  She’d never got ready so quickly and was worried she looked a bit of a mess as she’d planned to wash her hair tonight and instead she’d had to l
eave it. She’d smoothed the frizz from her curls with a spray of her mam’s home-made lavender water and it had made her hair smell really nice and fresh after being stuck under a turban all day. A sweep of rouge, a slick of bright pink Max Factor lipstick, a dab of Evening in Paris perfume behind her ears, and when she opened the door to him, Frank’s beaming face took all her worries away. She grabbed her coat and scarf and slipped them on over the pale blue sweater her mam had made, and a fitted black wool skirt Joanie had made last year from a jumble sale dress that must have belonged to Two Ton Tessie O’Shea originally. There was still a lot of the good quality fabric left over and she’d saved it to make another garment when she found time. She pulled on her warm boots and took Frank’s arm, calling goodnight to her family as he led her to a waiting car. His pal was acting as chauffeur to the station in exchange for a pint.

  The theatre lights dimmed and a hush fell over the audience at the announcement that Sleeping Beauty was about to start, and for everyone to make their way to their seats. Frank laced his fingers through hers and Joanie smiled and snuggled closer to him as the opening bars of ‘Once Upon a Dream’, the Sleeping Beauty waltz, filled the theatre. She felt very lucky that they’d found each other. Maybe one day, there’d be a fairytale wedding for them.

  Frank squeezed Joanie’s hand as the interval lights went up and two usherettes made their way to the front of the stage, carrying laden trays around their necks. ‘Fancy an ice-cream?’

  ‘Please.’ She watched him as he stood in the queue, his blond hair flopping into his eyes. A little thrill went through her as she thought of how lucky she was to have a man like Frank to love her. Hopefully he would continue to love her for the rest of her life.

  On the walk back to the station and with their heads filled with romance and fairy tales, Frank pulled Joanie into his arms in a Lime Street shop doorway. He had the engagement ring in his pocket and he really couldn’t wait to give it to her. They never had anywhere private to be alone, but the area was fairly quiet so he dropped down on one knee on the frosty floor and took her hand. She stared at him, a half-smile playing on her lips, a puzzled look in her eyes. A few theatre-goers hurried by, looking at them, but for Frank he and Joanie were the only two people in the world. He cleared his throat and began. ‘I, er, I was going to do this on Christmas Day, but I can’t wait. Joanie Lees, will you marry me?’ He got to his feet and held his breath as her eyes filled. He held out the ring box and her eyes opened wide when she saw the sparkling solitaire diamond, nestling in the red velvet interior.

  She clapped her hands to her mouth. ‘Yes, oh yes, Frank, of course I’ll marry you.’

  CHAPTER 10

  Joanie and Dora joined their co-workers and the packers in the canteen for hot roast pork sandwiches and mince pies on Christmas Eve.

  Joanie glanced around at the subdued faces and sighed. ‘Might as well make the most of this,’ she said. ‘Jack says it’s the nearest we’re going to get to a works Christmas dinner this year.’

  Dora nodded. ‘Count ourselves lucky then, eh? The pork’s lovely though. Nice and tender. Mavis has done us proud.’

  Peggy, her cheeks bulging, said, ‘Mavis’s home-made stuffing. You can’t beat it.’

  Mavis beamed at the compliments. She’d done her best, decorating the canteen with a few paper chains she’d brought in, but there were no crackers to pull or silly hats to wear as in previous years, which meant Len wouldn’t be making them groan with the cracker jokes as he usually did. Christmas carols played quietly in the background on the wireless, but the spirit of the season was sadly lacking.

  ‘I’m just annoyed that we’re not getting paid early, like we’ve always done in the past,’ Joanie said. ‘Talk about having us over a barrel.’ They’d been told they would have to come in on Friday the twenty-seventh to help with the shirt order and to collect their pay.

  Because of the general feeling of unrest amongst the girls, the completion of the order had been delayed and there was still a fair bit of work to do. In a way it was good for Joanie and Dora as it meant they stood every chance of getting the two dresses for New Year’s Eve finished as planned. Joanie had kept Frank’s proposal to herself for now, but tonight they were going to surprise Dora and Joe at the village hall dance.

  Dora and Joanie shivered at the bus stop, wrapping their scarves tightly around their necks and stamping their feet. The despondent faces of their workmates made Dora feel sad. Money was tight enough as it was and without the festive bonus it would be even tighter this year. Maybe in the New Year, when Joe had gone back to work, and before they were back in at Palmer’s, she’d invite some of them round for a brew and ask her mam to bake a nice cake and some mince pies to share. A few, including Peggy and Maude, said they were going to look for new jobs anyway after Christmas and would try Tate & Lyle’s in town. The bus lurched into view and stopped with an over-exaggerated screech of brakes. It was packed with women and excited children, who looked like they’d rather be anywhere than out shopping with their mams on such an important day. Bulging bags on knees showed there were still last-minute bargains to be had, probably from Paddy’s market. The girls found seats at the back of the bus and flopped down with a communal sigh.

  ‘I’m shattered,’ Dora said, puffing out her cheeks. ‘I half-wish we were stopping in tonight. I’ve still got loads of things to do for tomorrow.’

  ‘You’ll be fine after a rest this afternoon. Have a soak in the bath. I’m wearing my new pink dress tonight. Are you wearing your new one?’

  Dora nodded. ‘If I can get the hem finished before we go out.’ She felt a little thrill as she thought of the dress, currently hanging on Florence in the sewing room. The time spent making it had had to be squeezed in, in-between the orders. The light blue fabric brought out the colour in her eyes. With its square neckline and flared New Look skirt, it draped neatly across her slightly swollen stomach, keeping her secret intact, and finished just above her knees. She still had the silk stockings from her wedding day and luckily they hadn’t laddered at the ROF dance the other night. She was excited about getting dressed up for Joe and having him all to herself, instead of him spending half the night on stage. Knowsley village hall had its own resident local band; a piano player, a drummer and an accordion player. The drummer’s wife was the singer who also led the church choir, but sang modern popular songs as well as hymns.

  ‘I’m really looking forward to a good dance and so is Frank,’ Joanie said smiling happily.

  Joe’s breath caught in his throat as he looked at his wife when she emerged from the bedroom. Her wavy blonde hair hung below her shoulders in a peek-a-boo style, like the glamorous actress, Veronica Lake. The dress she’d been finishing as he’d come in from work mid-afternoon fitted her slender figure to perfection, with just the slightest rounding of her tummy showing. She was perfect, everything he’d ever wanted, and he loved her with all of his heart.

  ‘Do you think I should wear a girdle?’ she asked. ‘I don’t want anyone to guess tonight.’ She rubbed her hand lightly over her stomach and sucked in her breath.

  ‘You can’t really tell. Just keep breathing in,’ he said, raising an amused eyebrow.

  She laughed. ‘I’ll be glad when it’s tomorrow and we can tell people.’

  ‘Me too.’

  ‘Is there anyone else from your work going tonight, apart from Dolly and Eric?’ she asked, standing on tiptoe in front of the mirror over the fireplace, and clipping on her favourite earrings, little blue sapphires with marcasite chips that sparkled like real diamonds in the right light. Joe had given them to her last Christmas.

  ‘A few. One or two couples from the estate.’

  ‘What about her from the canteen, that Ivy?’

  He laughed. ‘I’ve honestly got no idea, love.’

  ‘Hmm.’ She slipped her warm coat on. ‘Are the Parkers coming here for the taxi?’

  ‘Yes,’ he replied just as the doorbell rang. ‘That’ll be them.’

 
He let Dolly and Eric in with a blast of cold air and a flurry of powdery snowflakes.

  ‘It’s just starting,’ Dolly said. ‘Not sticking though, so hopefully it’ll stay clear until we get home.’ She shook the flakes from her red curls as the doorbell rang again. ‘Here’s the taxi.’

  Dora picked up her handbag and Joe shepherded them all out to the waiting vehicle that had seen better days. The shabby interior stank, as though the driver had been transporting animals in it, which was a possibility as there was straw on the back seat and floor. But it was better than walking in this cold weather. The buses had stopped running at six tonight and there was no way Joe could expect Dora to get on the back of his motorbike when she was all dolled up. He brushed the straw off the seat and she sat down, squashed in-between Dolly and Eric. Joe climbed into the front and sat beside the driver.

  Dora removed her coat and waved at Joanie and Frank, who, along with Agnes and Alan, had saved them all seats at a table near the makeshift bar. Joe brought drinks across for everyone and raised his glass. ‘Cheers. Here’s to a happy Christmas.’

  They all clinked glasses and Dora took a quick glance around. No sign of Ivy and her mate, thank goodness. She relaxed back into her seat and sipped her drink.

  The trio of musicians, standing on stage, waited while the piano player’s wife fiddled with the microphone, tapping the end and one-two-ing. She welcomed everyone to the party and started the evening’s entertainment with Glenn Miller’s ‘I’ve got a Gal in Kalamazoo’.

  Frank nudged Joanie and nodded towards the dance floor. Joe pulled Dora to her feet and Alan took Agnes by the hand. Dolly heaved Eric up to dance.

  After another couple of songs Dora was ready for a sit-down and Joe dashed away to the gents. Dora finished her drink and frowned as Joanie waved her left hand in the air, grinning broadly. ‘Oh my God!’ Dora exclaimed. ‘You pair of dark horses. When did he give you that?’ She caught hold of Joanie’s hand and admired the sparkling diamond. ‘It looks lovely and fits you perfectly. Congratulations.’ She gave them both a hug and a kiss and Joanie told them all about Frank’s proposal.