Can you see me? (Trinity Series Book 2)

by Regina Bartley

  We said our goodbyes, and I thought about climbing back into my bed and under my fluffy white comforter. I thought about it really hard.

  But I couldn’t.

  After that conversation, I was wide-awake.

  Seven

  Jude

  “You like the way the ground feels or what?”

  Squaring my shoulders, I glared at Wallace. He’d been my trainer since I was old enough to sit on a horse, and he was a long time friend of the family. He knew what we were going through, and I suspected that he’d take it easy on me today. It was my first day back since the off-season. Boy was I wrong. He was fit to be tied.

  He didn’t waste a single second. Instead, he pushed me harder.

  “I need a break,” I told him. Actually, it was more of a plea. I’d fallen to the ground at least a dozen times and my achy body couldn’t handle much more. I already felt like I’d been trampled on.

  “It’s not me you need to ask,” he smirked as he pointed to the horse. The corner of Wallace’s mouth turned upward, as he stood there perched against the fence. He’d obviously been saving up those smart-ass remarks, because he was full of them. Every second I screwed up he rode me harder. I was giving him a billion reasons to lay into me since I hadn’t done one thing right the whole day.

  “I’m getting some water.” I climbed down off the fence and strode over to my pick-up truck. The tailgate was down and I had a cooler filled with ice-cold bottled water inside.

  Wallace followed a few paces behind me. I could hear his boots kicking up the dust.

  “Make it quick. We have another hour yet.”

  The muscles in my jaw tightened. As bad as I wanted to tell him to fuck off, I didn’t. I couldn’t. He was an old man, an old friend. My Momma would hang me out to dry if I didn’t treat Wallace with absolute respect. It was the southern way. You respected your elders whether you agreed with them or not.

  It was just one more hour, and then I could leave.

  I rolled my head around cracking my neck and loosening my muscles before I went back to the shoot. Wallace kept fussing about the many things I was doing wrong, so I just tuned him out.

  I had a brief flashback to a time when I really loved the sport. I was fourteen maybe, or fifteen, the timeline was a bit hazy. I remember it was the last year that my Dad was able to come watch me. Back then I thought that I wanted to ride forever. My mind was made up. I planned to bronc ride professionally, and take it to the next level, but that was back then. Things were different. I use to love it. Don’t get me wrong; I still love the thrill of it. Those eight seconds on the back of a wild, bucking steed, it’s an incredible rush. But things changed. Life changed. It became more about winning, and earning extra cash, and less about the sport and my love for it. When I think about my future now, I see myself on our farm. I see Momma and Pa sitting on the front porch in their rocking chairs. I see Paislee sitting on top of our white picket fence with her bare feet dangling off the edge. I don’t see myself traveling all over the world competing in a sport that would likely kill me one day. Nearly losing everything sure changed my perspective.

  I needed to make some serious life changing decisions. With everything that was going on, I couldn’t possibly carry the workload of it all, and if I had to choose to give something up then I think I was going to say goodbye to riding. At nineteen, I could still afford to take time away from it. The riding circuit would never go away if one day I decided to go back.

  I needed to finish college. I needed to plan ahead for my future.

  But first things first, I needed to talk to Momma about it. She’d see to it that I made the right decision. She wouldn’t steer me wrong.

  My spurs dug deep into the shoulder of the steer as I waited for the gate to open up. My left palm held tightly to the rope making my wrist shake, while my free hand was up above my head. I thought I had a good grip. But when that gate swung open and Blinker shot out with full force, I knew very quickly that I was going to end up on the ground before the sound of that eight-second buzzer. After years of riding, I could easily tell when something didn’t feel right, especially if I was riding Blinker. That horse was a tough one, but I knew his tricks. Well, most of the time I did.

  I counted the seconds in my head, and by four I was flying quickly towards the ground.

  Son of a bitch!

  “Thanks for letting me use your shower, man.” I bumped Obi’s fist with mine. He’d been a great friend since we became roomies last year. He loved the fact that I was barely there. Trinity has that rule that you must live on campus for your first two semesters before you can transfer off. I basically paid for room and board that I didn’t use.

  “Anytime,” he nodded. “Although, a shower is useless if you’re just going to go back to work.”

  I smirked, glancing over at him. “I smelled like manure. Even I can’t work under those conditions.”

  He laughed, but he knew I was right. I spent most of my training on the ground, so I developed a massive stench.

  “I’ll be over in the morning,” he said. “I think Garrett, Josh, and Fox are coming too. We have the whole day to spare, so you can put us to work. Between the five of us, or four I should say, Garrett will probably be hung-over. But between the four of us, we should be able to get a lot done.”

  “Man, I’d really appreciate the help. We’re breaking ground on the house next week and I still have a lot cleaning up to do,” I admitted.

  “That’s fast,” Obi’s eyes were wide.

  “I know. I found a builder who wanted that hefty paycheck. When he said he could start right away, I agreed.”

  The down payment was ridiculous. It took every last penny I had, plus what little we had in savings and another three grand from my Aunt and Uncle. It turned my stomach just thinking about it.

  Surely the insurance check wouldn’t be too much longer. We were homeless for crying out loud, and the fire was covered by our insurance.

  “I better get out of here. I have a lot to do before sundown.” I gathered the last of my things, stuffing them down inside my bag. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Thanks again for the shower.”

  His mouth moved into a grin. “Anytime, buddy. I’ll see ya tomorrow.”

  I barely had my truck out of the driveway before my phone rang. Seeing Paislee’s number on the screen made my heart lurch in my chest. She had no idea just how much I loved having her in my life. She made everything easier, and better. I didn’t even have to hear her voice. Just knowing that she was calling was enough to bring the lovesick right out of me.

  “Hey, Darlin,” I answered.

  Her sweet voice replied. “Hey, Jude.”

  She was like a breath of fresh air.

  Dammit Man! I needed her in my arms stat.

  “Can you come home now?” I urged.

  “One more sleep, and I’ll be there,” she promised. “How was training today? Do you have broken bones?”

  I laughed. She knew nothing about riding. We’d never really talked about it before. “What the hell have you been reading?”

  “Well… I… I Googled it.”

  Ah, hell. “You Googled it?” I snickered. Nothing good could have come from that.

  “Uh huh.”

  “I don’t even want to know what it said.” I shook my head. “Just pretend you didn’t read it.”

  “Okay,” she said sarcastically. “Did you know that twenty-four percent of all rodeo accidents happen during bareback riding? I mean that can’t be good. You could hurt yourself. I don’t want you destroying that gorgeous face of yours. I like to look at it.”

  She was so adorable with her recited Google percentages. I couldn’t stop laughing. “I knew you thought I was pretty, but dang. Now I’m downright gorgeous. How much money do you think I could make off my good looks?”

  “This is serious.”

  “Oh, I’m being serious, Darlin.”

  Her over-the-top laugh was so full of life. It was contagious. I loved the sou
nd of it.

  “Stop making me laugh. Now tell me honestly. Did you get hurt?” She questioned.

  “No. A couple of bruises, and some stiff muscles, that’s all. I’ve been doing this for a lot of years, and I haven’t suffered anything worse than some cracked ribs, a broken wrist, and a concussion. It’s all good I swear.” I tried my best to explain. Those were minor injuries compared to what I could’ve endured. Rodeo life was not a sport for the weak, but I barely fell off. Well, except for today. Today was an exception to the rule. I had far too much on my mind. I should’ve never gone.

  “I’m sorry to worry. I should’ve stayed off of Google, but it’s women’s intuition. I had to see it for myself. Those videos on the Internet were scary as hell, and it caused me to have a momentary freak-out. Don’t mind me, it’s the girl coming out of me,” she joked.

  “That’s my favorite part about you.”

  “What?” She asked.

  “The girl part.” I laughed and so did she. “Now when will you be home?”

  “Josh and I are pulling out around eight o’ clock I think. We are coming straight to you. No stops along the way.”

  “Good. When you are there, you feel way too far away.”

  Her breathing changed. It slowed to a heavy drag. “I know what you mean,” she replied.

  “I’m pulling into the drive now. I have to get back to work, but I’ll see you tomorrow. I can’t wait to see you.” I had no shame in admitting it. Everything felt better when she was around. The moment she drove out of town something didn’t feel right. I wanted her back by my side as fast as possible.

  “Back at ya.”

  “Bye Darlin.”

  “Bye,” she replied before the phone went silent.

  Sure my morning was as crappy as ever, but after hearing her voice I felt like I was more than ready to finish the day. She had the greatest effect on me. I couldn’t wait for things to go back to normal, and for the two of us to spend every extra hour we had together.

  Right now, I barely had an extra minute.

  Eight

  Paislee

  The early morning sunrise was not something I ever liked seeing. Yes it was beautiful, but I was the farthest thing from a morning person. The only thing that got me up this morning was the thought of seeing Jude. Otherwise, I would’ve stayed curled up in my bed until at least nine.

  I’d been home for two days, but it wasn’t until last night that I actually got to see my parents. I wish I hadn’t. All that my mother talked about was my wardrobe and the paleness in my cheeks. She said it must’ve been the late night partying at college. I swear the woman knew nothing. Of all the times I had called home to tell her about life at school, you’d think she’d know that partying wasn’t my thing. She was clueless.

  And Dad…

  Well, that’s a whole other story. He had a billion questions about majors, and professors, and what I planned to do with my future. He even offered me a summer internship at his firm.

  No, no, and a BIG FAT NO.

  There was no way I was going to spend my summer at a job with my father. I could barely stand to be in the same room with him for more than ten minutes these days. Don’t get me wrong. I’d always been a daddy’s girl, but (and that’s a big butt) he is a workaholic narcissist. No way could I ever work for him. I wouldn’t dare. Surely he didn’t want me in that building, because I would be in his way. He couldn’t continue his affairs if I was nearby.

  I lied and told him that I was planning on taking a position closer to campus and that I’d tell him all the details soon enough. That bought me a little time. So, I had to focus on finding some kind of job to occupy my summer, and in return Daddy was going to fund me a place to live off campus. He even agreed to a spare bedroom for Letty. I couldn’t wait to tell her the news. She was going to be so happy at least I hoped so. Campus housing was a downer. There was little freedom and even less space. She wouldn’t have to hide the little immigrant anymore either. She could take him to our new place.

  I finished putting my stuff into my bag and headed towards the front door. Josh was supposed to be in the driveway waiting for me. He was a little bitter when he left last night, because I told him about us no longer sharing a bed. He wasn’t really upset about it, but I could tell in the way that he acted that he didn’t care for the idea. It wasn’t up for discussion though. Neither of us could’ve expected to share each other’s beds forever. He’d have a girlfriend sooner or later, and no woman would like me sleeping with her boyfriend. It was clear to me what Jude was talking about. I respected him and our relationship, so I had no plans to ruin a good thing, even if Josh didn’t like the idea.

  It had to be done.

  Josh didn’t even finish our movie marathon last night before he rushed off for home. When I mentioned sleeping on the couch, he got all pouty and glum. He was quick for the door after that, and I didn’t try to stop him.

  Things were changing. We weren’t two little kids anymore.

  With my duffle bag over my shoulder, I shut the heavy front door behind me. Josh’s car was idling in the driveway, where he sat waiting on me just like he said he would. One thing in our lives that would always remain constant was our friendship. I could count on him when I needed to. There was no question of his loyalty to me. We had too many years invested and an unbreakable bond.

  I had no problem agreeing to the new sleeping arrangements, but I’d never agree to stop being his best friend.

  “Good morning sunshine,” he said when I opened his car door. He was awfully chipper. His pouting from last night was short-lived, and he was fine and dandy now, a little too dandy if you ask me. Mornings were for the devil.

  I rolled my eyes, and plopped down hard into the passenger seat. “Unless you have an I.V. for me that’s filled with cappuccino then I don’t want to hear it, Joshua Landon.”

  “Damn you’re a moody woman in the morning. Has Jude seen this side of you yet?” He glared at me. “You may want to keep it a secret as long as you can. You know, rope him in first before you break it to him.”

  “Ha, ha,” I faked a laugh. “He knows, Mr. Cupid. Now put the damn car in reverse and let’s get out of here. I’m not in the mood for your fun-sized jokes this morning.”

  He leaned around towards the back seat and fiddled around. He was reaching for something. Turning back around, he held out a Starbucks cup with piping hot steam rolling from the hole in the lid.

  My hand was close enough to touch it.

  I think I drooled a little.

  “Coffee, milady?” His bottom lip poked out and he batted his lashes at me. He had the best puppy dog face in the world. No woman would ever be able to resist his charms, including me.

  The cup was warm against my hands, and I silently thanked the Best Friend Gods for giving me Josh. Yes, he could be terribly annoying, but so could I. He would always be the almond to my joy.

  “You’re forgiven.” I smiled, and sipped my first taste. It was like Heaven. My eyes closed and I sighed. There wasn’t a feeling like it in the whole world. Every coffee lover would agree. It was like that feeling you got when you saw where the ocean met the sky, euphoric. My spirits quickly lifted, and I suddenly had the urge to sing Christmas Carols.

  So that’s what I did.

  For the next thirty minutes I serenaded Josh with a little Silent Night, and a whole lot of Rocking Around the Christmas Tree. I blamed his speeding on my terrible singing, but it got me to Jude in record time. Josh hated when I sang Christmas songs, actually I think he hated my singing altogether. It didn’t really matter the song. But I loved teasing him, and getting on his nerves. It made me almost as happy as coffee.

  When Josh’s car rolled to a stop at the end of Jude’s gravel driveway, I hopped out quickly. Several cars were already there, since we were joining forces today. The whole gang was there to help.

  My eyes scanned back and forth looking for my Man.

  Where was he?

  I spotted Obi and Fox al
most immediately.

  Looking towards the barn, I noticed that the doors were open. He had to be inside. I felt giddy and more than excited to see him.

  “Jude,” I called out before I even reached the door.

  I stopped dead in my tracks when I saw him standing there. His hat was off, and he had a large bag in his hands, something that looked extremely heavy.

  His lips turned up into the cutest grin. “Hey there Darlin.” He dropped the bag to the ground.

  I don’t know whose feet moved first but I tackle hugged him almost knocking him to the ground. You’d think I’d been away for months.

  His back was covered in sweat, but I didn’t care. It was actually kind of sexy.

  “I missed you,” I spoke softly into the crook of his neck. My feet were dangling where he lifted me up off the ground.

  “I missed you too,” was his response, as his arms squeezed me just a little bit tighter.

  He set me back down onto the ground, and his hands came up to my face immediately. His tender touch made my heart flutter, and my stomach drop. The way his big brown eyes stared into mine took my breath away. He dipped his head down slowly and closed his eyes as his lips touched mine. They were tender as he kissed me delicately like I might break or disappear. I was lost in it. So far gone that I couldn’t see the light of day. It was in that moment that I realized how much I truly loved him.

  My arms snaked around his waist and I deepened the kiss. I let my tongue brush against his and felt the way his body molded with mine. I never wanted the kiss to end, but it had to.

  When he backed away, I raked my bottom lip with my teeth. I needed to make sure that they were still there because his kiss left my lips tingling. It was safe to say that my entire body was tingling.

  “Holy Cowboy,” I whispered. It was mostly to myself, but he heard me and smiled like a Cheshire cat. I should’ve been embarrassed, but I wasn’t. That kiss was going down in the hall of fame of kisses.