"There's so much I just don't know, or understand.” She said it without censure. Her acceptance of his decision not to tell her made him almost ashamed for his cowardice.
"I grew to manhood with the shame of what I am, love. My mother retreated from all the women for fear one of them would learn she'd birthed a jayalor son. My father was angry with her for her fear and rejection of me. She retreated further. He pushed me to excel physically and intellectually.” He sighed.
"Your life would have been very different if he had not pushed you, wouldn't it?"
"Very. I do not resent what he did. At least not usually. But it was not easy."
"My childhood was very different. It was easy. My parents wanted to have a second child. My older brother liked having a little sister. My parents were prosperous by our standards. I had nice clothes, I went to a good school. I had lots of friends to play with."
"I don't remember playing with any of the other boys, only W'eylin. And W'eylin was under orders to protect me. Every night my father told W'eylin that if I were ever injured, I had to be brought home immediately. No herbalist was to be allowed to tend me. It was a lot to place on his shoulders."
"W'eylin is not much older than you, is he?"
"Five seasons. I understand that my parents did not anticipate my arrival."
Trista laughed against his neck. “Does that mean you were a surprise?"
"Oh, I think I was that. An unpleasant one. My mother was not pleased to be bearing a sixth child when the fifth was still at her breast. She refused to share a couch with my father after my arrival."
"When you were born, did they know immediately that you were jayalor?"
"No. It isn't evident until a boy begins to mature. W'eylin suspected first. A boy is past the age where his mother would be bathing him when he begins to develop. Or not."
"The rest of you developed fine,” she teased.
"You think?"
"Well, by Terran standards, anyway."
"Then do not ever look at another Dannarri male. You may find me suddenly disappointing."
"I doubt that,” she said and her hand slid from his chest, across the ridges of muscles on his stomach, to finally rest on his maleness. He twitched beneath her touch.
"Hmmm. Do you really want to do that?” he asked, brushing his lips to her forehead.
"I think so,” she said, stretching to reach his lips.
They shifted together to lay comfortably face-to-face. His hands stroked the length of her body and rested on the swell of her hip.
"Q'winn, if I asked to stay with you, would it be possible?"
His heart lurched painfully. “No."
"None of the women I've met here seem anxious to go home. Not even Vanteen who has two daughters on Okar."
Q'winn fought down a wave of unease. “You've questioned Vanteen about her returning to Okar?"
"A little. Her answer did not make much sense."
"The Okar are one of the first races we befriended. There are many of them among us, male and female. They live here with us and we learn from them and they learn from us."
"Vanteen is pregnant."
"I know. W'eylin is upset about it. The Okarran women do not bear successfully here."
"Well then W'eylin should have slipped on his little gold rings,” Trista said acerbically.
"He would not argue that point. I fear I owe him an apology."
"Oh? For what?"
"I was less than kind in my words to him when he told me about Vanteen.” Q'winn slipped his hand between them and cupped her. “I did not understand the urgency of the moment until now.” His fingers teased at her and her welcome rained down to him. “I begin to feel it now."
"What can I do for Vanteen?"
"W'eylin has had her to midwives. She is getting mineral supplements and such. Perhaps she will be one of the fortunate ones.” Q'winn slipped a finger inside her and she nipped his shoulder.
"I haven't been able to get much information out of her about all of it.” Trista stroked him and he displayed completely into her hand. She squeezed gently, applying pressure across the ridges that ringed his length. He inhaled sharply.
"You need to trade information with Vanteen. I'm surprised you have not figured that out.” He thumbed across the center of her pleasure and she gasped.
"I have figured it out. She's a tough nut to crack—oh God do that again!” She drew her leg up to rest on his giving him better access to her.
Q'winn obliged her request, slipping two fingers into her heat and pressing them upward while pressing down with his thumb. A flood of moisture wet his palm.
"Withholding information from her works even better.” He had to clamp his jaws to keep from moaning as Trista pressed the sensitive area under the base of his phallus.
"I never tried that. But I can see that it would drive her crazy. Are you going to kiss me? Q'winn!"
He licked one nipple while gently running his thumb over the other. “And stop this?” he murmured against her skin.
"Q'winn!” She rose up above him and pushed him onto his back, then straddled him.
He gripped her hips, expecting her to slide over him. Instead she teased the tip of his phallus, then tilted her hips enough to take the first inch of him. He bucked underneath her knowing she'd move away. The grin on her face said she was feeling playful.
So was he. He let her have her fun for a while then suddenly sat up and rolled her backwards. She yelped in surprise as he drove into her, then laughed with him. She told him to roll over. He wrapped his arms around her as tightly as he could and rolled. She grinned down at him then lowered her mouth to his.
They made love joyously. Concerns over the future would return in the morning, but for now they had a moment that belonged to them alone. They rode their passion until they lay limp in each other's embrace, sated and content.
Q'winn held Trista and listened as her breathing leveled and slowed and she lay sleeping in his arms. She would be there when he woke in the morning. The rightness of it made his eyes burn and his throat tighten.
He was tired and dawn was only a few hours away. The coming day was full of duties to perform and responsibilities to attend. He had to get some sleep.
He had to find a way for Trista to remain on Dannar.
Seventeen
The Season of Ceca passed quickly for Trista. She decided to embrace all of Dannar. Her days were spent learning crafts from cooking to gathering herbs to making baskets. She learned what anyone offered to teach her. Many days it would be nearing dusk and she'd be so absorbed in what she was working on it would surprise her. And she lived for dusk.
Almost every day, at dusk, Q'winn would appear with two boggas and they would ride through the gate. They timed their return to be at a different time every day. On the days when they returned and the courtyards were empty, Trista would go to Q'winn's rooms with him and stay until dawn.
They made love with abandon. Trista was constantly amazed at Q'winn's inventiveness. Q'winn was constantly amazed at Trista's lack of inhibitions. They loved and laughed together at night and avoided each other by day and hoped they were being discreet enough.
The Season of Ubari, the Harvester, was only a few weeks away when Vanteen withdrew to their rooms and grew silent. She would place her chair where the sunlight spilled through the window and sit by the hour, staring at something only she could see.
Trista worried and fretted over her for days. Vanteen did her best to get her to go away and leave her alone. All Vanteen would tell Trista was the baby was quiet.
Trista woke one morning and heard Vanteen weeping softly. She knew instantly what they had feared had happened. Vanteen had delivered a stillborn daughter. Trista helped Vanteen wash the baby and wrap it in a soft towel. Trista saw to the bedding while Vanteen bathed. Then she went to find W'eylin.
W'eylin proved easy to locate. He was with Q'winn. Trista gave him the news and he sprinted out the door. Trista and Q'winn followed more slowly. Va
nteen allowed Q'winn to say the blessing for the departed spirit, then take the baby for burial. Trista stayed with her while W'eylin and Q'winn did what was necessary.
The passing of the little girl cast a pall on Trista's last few weeks at Damali. Vanteen recovered quickly, but was quieter. She began to speak of going home. She made her request and Q'winn agreed that as soon as the Anakin's command rotation came back to him that he would take her home. It left Trista in an emotional turmoil.
It saddened Trista that her friend would soon be gone. She felt abandoned. She hurt for W'eylin who took the news of Vanteen's impending departure stoically. But she saw the pain whenever he was with Vanteen. She knew Vanteen had distanced herself from W'eylin, declining whatever comfort his presence may have given her.
To her disbelief, when she asked to accompany Q'winn to Okar, he refused. She was hurt by his decision, and angry. When he said he would only be gone for a day or two, she was confused. Okar was light years away. She accused him of lying to her.
Q'winn had not been angry with her over her accusations. He listened as she ranted and raved at him, then held her when the tears came. Nor did he seem to be upset with her over her week-long avoidance of him.
When she arrived with his midday meal after those days, he greeted her with a gentle embrace and a tender kiss. Then he sat at the table and began talking to her as if he'd just seen her a few hours ago. She was more grateful for his understanding than she had words to tell him.
She questioned him as to when it would be his turn to command the Anakin. His answer had been straight-forward enough, but the more she thought about it, the more questions it raised.
It had also brought to light that he had communications equipment at his disposal of which she'd not been aware. Trista began a clandestine search.
When she confronted Q'winn with what she'd found, he'd nodded and calmly confirmed her findings. He reminded her again it was wise to look beneath the surface, something their enemy, the Raku, never did. She'd avoided him for another day. This time because she felt stupid.
They hid the evidence of technology in case the Raku ever came back. It was their open arrogance that had destroyed Elpida. She asked a few people about the city of Patann and learned that none of their newest and best technologies were housed there. Patann sprawled across the valley in plain view of invading races.
A thousand years the Dannarri had lived with this hanging over them. A thousand years they'd been working for a common goal. It was paramount they do it secretly.
She reflected on the Raku and what they must be like to cause the people of Dannar to be this careful, this methodical, this determined to succeed. The people of Dannar were peaceful, caring, gentle people. On the whole, there was no malice in them. The more Trista thought about it, the more it chilled her.
She was sitting on the stairs in front of her rooms, trying to figure out how to fix the basket she was trying to make, when Q'winn crossed the courtyard. He sat a few steps below her. She'd been hoping he'd come.
"That basket looks like a new design,” he said to her. She snorted.
"I'm sure others have created the lopsided look before me."
"Do you want to go to the oasis tonight? Or aren't you ready to talk to me yet?” he asked without looking at her.
"Why are you always so damn calm about things?"
"Would you prefer I let my frustration over your recent behavior show?"
"Why are you frustrated? No sex last night?"
"I would think that would be your problem.” Q'winn turned and gently grasped her calf. She swiftly set the basket down to hide his touch from passersby.
"Let's not throw stones at each other. It serves no purpose except to keep us at odds,” he said. She nodded her agreement.
"I'd like to go out to the oasis. But don't get your hopes up for rolling about on the blankets. Not for a few days, anyway. I can't,” she told him pointedly.
"Ah. Well, it's going to be cool tonight,” he said. He hoped she wasn't feeling as bad as she had the last time this happened to her. If she was, he was going into hiding. He'd already learned that under no circumstances should he comment on her mood swings.
"We can wrap ourselves in the blankets and gaze at the moons. Both will be visible.” He gently squeezed her leg. “Do you still want to go with me when I take Vanteen home?"
"Yes."
"Very well. You shall,” he told her and was rewarded by her huge smile and shining eyes. “C'arlan R'eterr has accepted permanent placement as the new avaki here. We will leave for Mahdis in eight days."
"Oh, God. Not three days on a drost. Not again,” she moaned.
"No, love. More like five. We will go to Lasalm and deliver some supplies on our way."
"Maybe I'll just stay here,” she said morosely.
"That is, of course, an option."
She stared at him in disbelief, then her eyes narrowed. “That is not funny. Don't tease me with that."
"I'm not. You are free to choose to remain here.” He looked at her and she saw the gleam in his eyes. “But then I'd have to restrain you and tie you to my drost. You might not care for that, but I think having that view of your lovely backside for several days would be pleasurable."
Trista wanted to kick him. She hoped she'd remember to do it later when they were alone. He stood and stretched.
"I'll be here with our boggas and our evening meal about an hour before dusk."
"I'd like to see if Vanteen will come along. She's still too quiet."
Q'winn nodded. “Send word if she will and I'll let W'eylin know."
Trista watched him stride across the courtyard. His backside wasn't too bad, either.
* * * *
"What is that?” Q'winn asked a few hours later when he came to take her to the oasis.
"A calendar. It's how we keep track of our seasons on Terra."
"What is that marking in that square?"
"It's a turkey, Q'winn,” she said trying to sound haughty. “That day is our Thanksgiving Day. A traditional day where we gather with family and friends and have a meal."
He rolled his eyes at her tone. “And give thanks?” he asked.
"Supposedly."
She glanced up at him. Curiosity over the calendar was all over him. She ducked her head and hid a smile. She made one final grid as he watched, and marked a different day with two odd symbols.
"What are they for?” he asked, pointing.
"Christmas. That's a pine tree. I don't think Dannar has them. And that's supposed to be a star. So I'm not an artist,” she muttered.
"So what's significant about this day?"
"Many things,” Trista told him. She hesitated about how much to tell him, and decided on the short version. “Christmas is a day where gifts are exchanged. I think I'll give you my new basket."
She carefully trimmed the grids and fastened them together with a small metal clip and handed them to him. He examined every grid before handing them back. She rose and set them on the shelf, carefully propped so she could see the top grid.
"I'm starving. Let's get going,” she suggested.
"I'm starving, too,” he said as he tugged on her shirt and pulled her to him. She wrapped her arms around his neck and melted against him. He held her tightly for long moments. It seemed like it had been a very long since they'd been sure of one another.
And yet Trista knew the moment would be fleeting. She was certain, more certain all the time, that Q'winn was keeping something important from her. His words of ‘look for what lies beneath’ haunted her days, and the question of what lay beneath his evasiveness when she asked of Terra stole her sleep.
But now, all that mattered was that they had this moment. She raised her lips to his and he kissed her until she moaned in his mouth for him to stop. He finally released her, then picked up her fur jacket for her and ushered her out the door. Only two boggas were waiting.
They rode to the oasis in companionable silence. Q'winn spotted a hkirqa and
pointed it out to Trista. It's head swept up, horns proudly aloft. It stomped once, then again, then bounded away. Trista was glad Q'winn had let it go instead of shooting it for dinner. She'd had the meat before but preferred not to actually see the animal it had come from.
"Trista, I have a confession,” Q'winn said as they were unpacking their evening meal.
"Well, let's hear it.” She knew it would be good. It always was when he admitted to having a confession before he confessed.
"The Anakin returned early. I passed over my place in the rotation until her next flight."
Trista absorbed that. “Why? Because we're not ready to leave Damali?"
"Partly. Partly to give W'eylin a little more time with Vanteen. I won't admit that to either of them."
"Smart. I wouldn't either. So how long until the Anakin is back?"
He looked at her oddly and reached for her hand. “It is always difficult to say precisely when any ship will return. There are eddies and flows, variables that effect that last jump home."
"I don't think I'm getting whatever it is you're trying to say,” she said slowly. This was something important, she could tell, and she knew from experience he'd likely never discuss it again.
"The last jump home brings us back. We must allow enough time to pass so as not to affect the various fields around the planet."
"Oh. I think that makes sense. Like crossing the wake of a boat?"
"Somewhat, yes. The Anakin will return quickly, but it won't be until after we've returned to Mahdis. Do you want half of this?” He held up a piece of fruit and she nodded and watched as he deftly cut it.
"So you're worried Vanteen will be upset when she learns this?"
"I'm more worried about my brother than Vanteen. Don't look at me like that. I'm sorry, but that's the truth."
Trista bit back a retort. He was leveling with her. Now was not the time to antagonize him into silence.
"Trista, Vanteen needs W'eylin. You know this. She had wanted to stay here much longer. She has freedoms here that she does not have on Okar."
"You mean having different lovers?"
"That is part of it. On Okar she would be expected to bear a child for each of her lovers, then hand them to their father for rearing."
The Skies of Mahdis Page 15