"So you think she felt some sort of duty to W'eylin?"
"No,” he said, looking up at the stars overhead. “According to my brother, her pregnancy was not at all planned,” he told her wryly.
Trista thought again about Dannarri jaynard physiology and dropped her forehead against her knees. Q'winn laughed softly and stroked her hair.
"It's too much to picture, Q'winn,” she groaned. He laughed again.
"Believe it or not, I agree. Here, eat this before all the juice runs out of it.” He tapped her hand that held the fruit.
"When we return to Mahdis, what will you do?” she asked him quietly. Even though she'd known the time was approaching to return to Mahdis, Trista had avoided asking certain questions. Her focus had been on Vanteen for the last several weeks. Now she wanted some answers from Q'winn.
"I will report to the Elders. Once I have fulfilled that last duty as avaki, I will join with the other kadens. Another ship is in the final stages of testing. About a third of those kadens in the Anakin rotation will go to the new ship. My flights will increase."
"Q'winn, where do I fit into your life when we get to Mahdis?"
"I'm hoping you will feel comfortable enough to live openly with me."
"Can you really do that?"
"Trista, do you really believe our actions have gone unnoticed and unremarked? People have noticed that we are together. My lamp in the Chapel has not been lit since the first night I came to Damali. The matriarchs of Damali have approached me privately. I told them I only await the arrival of the next avaki to step down. They know."
"But Damali is not your home. Mahdis is."
"Word has traveled to my father's ears. It has surely traveled elsewhere."
"And after I go back to my own world? What will you do then?"
"I will do as now, love. I will take each day as it is given.” He caressed her cheek with his knuckles. “But there will not be another woman, Trista. Even if I could, I would not. There is only you."
"That's very sweet, Q'winn. Evasive, but sweet."
"I do not seek to evade your questions. Do you seek to have more discord between us?” he asked sharply. “Do you still accuse me of telling you untruths? I cannot see into the future anymore than you can."
"I'm sorry, Q'winn,” she said, laying her hand on his arm. “I'm sorry. I don't want us to fight. But surely you must have some idea of how everyone will react if we live together openly."
"I wish you would not get like this."
"Like what?"
"This stubborn, or whatever it is. I cannot reach you when you are like this. And I cannot hold you. You do not permit it."
"Now who's trying to cause discord?” she snapped at him.
"Trista,” he said trying to sound patient. “Do you not wish to be with me openly?"
"Yes, I want to be with you! But I'm worried it will cause trouble for you!"
"Do you fear the women will turn their backs on you?” he asked, his voice suddenly low and strained. “Do you fear that with Vanteen gone you will be alone?” he asked.
"I don't know,” she admitted miserably. “Is that why you want me to share rooms with you? So I won't be alone?"
"Maybe I don't want to be alone,” he told her.
"Then don't send me home!” she cried. She jumped to her feet and stalked away leaving Q'winn to stare at her retreating back.
He had just started to rewrap the salvageable bits of their dinner when Trista screamed. He sprinted to her. She was standing inches away from a ctanthi. The reptile was coiled at her feet and hissing its displeasure at being disturbed. Q'winn carefully pulled a small weapon from his jacket pocket.
"Don't move, love. I have a laezze. Be still while I adjust the setting to a narrow beam,” he said calmly.
"Q'winn,” she said, her voice shaking. “Just shoot it. Please."
"Close your eyes,” he ordered. “Be very still.” He counted in Terran, as she had taught him.
"One, two...” He fired the weapon, dead on his target. “Three,” he said as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her back away from the carcass.
She turned and smacked the center of his chest and burst into tears.
He held her tightly, rocking her. She wasn't just crying over the ctanthi and they both knew it.
"I'm not eating that, Q'winn H'akan!"
"Neither am I, love. They are not at all tasty. We'll leave it for small scavengers."
"And I hate housework! And I'm not doing your laundry!"
Q'winn tipped her chin up so that she had to look at his face. The warmth in his eyes drew her to him, soul to soul. She couldn't have fought it at that moment had she wanted to do so. He smoothed the hair from her face.
"Maybe, just maybe, you'll fix my zhecr in the mornings?"
She buried her face against his chest. “I can do that."
Eighteen
Trista made friends with her drost before the journey across the desert began. Q'winn arrived one evening with a handful of uzrak treats and made the introductions. He showed her how to hold the little cakes to feed them to the drost. She named the beast Jewell after a short film about a camel she'd seen once.
"Well, you named your favorite bogga,” she said to Q'winn as he looked askance at her.
"Roj is good bogga. And he is a bogga. Not one of these creatures."
"Don't call her a creature. She's much nicer than that thing you made me ride to get here."
"Perhaps then I should not tell you this is that animal's offspring."
"I don't believe you, Q'winn H'akan. You'd stand there and tell me that with a straight face. I don't believe you."
"Ah, well, love. If it pleases you to name her, who am I to say differently?"
"Too late, Slick. You've already tipped your hand. I see your game now."
Q'winn grinned at her and handed her a rough bristled brush. “Brush her down. They enjoy it. Every few minutes give her another cake. She'll remember you and behave herself with you."
"What are you going to do? Stand and watch?” Trista batted her eyelashes at him.
"I will be attending to my own. Perhaps I can find a suitable name for him, as well."
"Bellamy,” Trista muttered and began brushing. She had to admit Jewell had a pleasant enough temperament. She scratched behind the beast's ears and its eyes closed and it drooled contentedly.
"The new avaki will be here by dusk tomorrow,” Q'winn said from the far side of his drost. “We will leave for Lasalm shortly thereafter."
"So am I the last person you've told this to?” she asked, trying to bite back her temper. She knew she was.
"Should you have been the first? Should I have told you before those of my troop who have much more than a few personal belongings to gather?"
He sounded like he was discussing the weather. Trista clamped down on her temper.
"Not necessarily. When was your troop told?"
"A few days ago."
"What?” Trista's anger spiked.
"You are upset."
"What if I am? Does it matter? What do you care?” she snapped.
"I have a favor to ask of you,” he said calmly.
"Oh, ask away!” She mustered as much sarcasm as she could. He didn't seem to notice.
"I need to go to the Believer's Chapel before we leave here.” He stopped brushing his drost and came and stood beside her. She wanted to smack him.
"So go to the Chapel. Why bother to tell me?"
"I need you to go with me."
"No, Q'winn. You only need me for one thing and that's not it."
"You're wrong, love. I need you for many things.” He took her arm and stopped her from brushing the hide off her drost. “Look at me, Trista."
She closed her eyes and turned her head away from him. She didn't open them as he cupped the back of her head and drew her close to brush a kiss on her hair.
"Please, Trista. Come to the Chapel with me before I leave here. I need to make some sort of peace for mys
elf. With many things."
Trista opened her eyes and looked at him. There were shadows in his eyes she'd never seen. The small lines at the corners of his eyes looked deeper. She looked closer. He was a bit thinner. How long had this been and she'd not noticed? A frisson of apprehension ran through her.
"What don't you have peace with?” she whispered. “Is it me?” Her apprehension grew by leaps and bounds as he licked his lips and looked away. He pulled her into his embrace.
"Q'winn, someone might see,” she cautioned him even as she welcomed his arms around her.
"It no longer matters if they do. What matters is that I leave here at peace. With myself and with you. And we are not at peace."
No, Trista knew in her heart, they were not. And it saddened her even as it frightened her.
He spoke of returning to the Anakin. He had reversed his decision about her accompanying him. What he did not say, and she could not bring herself to ask, was if he were taking her home to Terra, too.
* * * *
Preparations for their departure filled the hours of the next day. Trista had scarcely had time to eat, but she wasn't hungry. Concern about Q'winn's request she accompany him to the Believer's Chapel stole her appetite. She'd been relieved when he'd finally come for her.
Trista sat in the quiet darkness of the Believer's Chapel and watched Q'winn. He knelt, still as stone, on the hard floor in front of Sioda's Altar.
The new avaki, C'arlan R'eterr had arrived about two hours ago. Q'winn had greeted him and introduced her. The way C'arlan had looked at her was all the proof she'd needed to be certain that word about her and Q'winn had traveled far and wide.
The two men had talked for a while, then C'arlan had taken his leave to find a late meal and rest. Q'winn had silently held out his hand to her and they had walked to the Chapel. Q'winn had seated her on one of the plush cushions in the outer sanctum, then he'd placed his lamp on the altar and lit it. Trista wished she'd not seen the profound sadness on his face.
She knew he would miss this part of his life. He'd spoken of it in the darkness of their bed last night. She had held him and listened and shared his sorrow.
He suddenly rose and quickly poured the oil from the lamp into the stone bowl on the altar. It ignited and burned. He stood and watched until it began to smoke profusely then burned completely out. He took a deep breath and broke the lamp.
Trista jumped to her feet in surprise and concern. Q'winn turned and looked at her, then held out his hand to her. She took a few steps forward and he met her halfway. He took her hand and held it as they walked from the Chapel. He did not speak so she remained silent as well.
Those kadens holding the rank just below Q'winn were assembled in the courtyard. Trista sensed Q'winn's surprise. One of them handed Trista the reins of her drost. Q'winn checked the animal's harness then boosted her up on the beast's back. She watched silently as he checked his harness and mounted.
The kadens parted as their drosts walked towards the arch and the outer areas. A low, mournful horn sounded one note. Midnight.
Trista looked around her at Damali. The moons were up and the meticulously carved blocks of the palace walls glistened. She committed the play of the silver light and shadows to her memory. Tears burned her eyes. She knew she would never return here.
They rode silently through the arch into the outer area. W'eylin and Vanteen fell in beside her. The rest of the troop joined them, in pairs and small groups, a swelling mass of movement behind Q'winn as they rode through the pitch blackness of the tunnel towards the desert beyond.
The guards at the gate bowed as he passed over the sharp line of the shadow of the tunnel into the moonlight. Q'winn did not seem to acknowledge the gesture, but Trista knew there would have been a look, a glance. A few minutes from the gate, Trista turned and looked back towards Damali. The ramparts were lined with people despite the late hour.
They passed the trail to the oasis and Trista pushed back a wave of sorrow. They had spent long hours there sharing their love and laughter. Moments of great silliness and moments of profound revelations had happened there. She could wait no longer. She quickened her drost's pace until she was beside Q'winn.
"What took you so long?” he asked her. For all the lightness of his tone, the question didn't fool her.
"I wasn't sure you wanted any company."
"I want your company. How's your Jewell behaving?"
"Like her name implies. I have a bag full of treats for her and I think she knows it."
"Ah. Well, I was thinking you'd like to ride with me for a while. You could sleep."
That didn't fool her either. “I'd like that, but not just yet. I'm wide awake right now."
"Hmm. Can't get much by you, can I?” he asked, finally looking at her.
"You get things by me all the time, Q'winn. Just not right now."
He moved his drost closer to hers. Their knees touched. He held out his arms to her. “Come, ride with me."
He pulled his foot free of the harness. Trista pivoted and stretched. As soon as her foot slipped into the ring, she jumped. Q'winn caught her and settled her in front of him. His drost gave one little buck in protest then settled back into its long stride. Trista's animal stayed close to her and she fished a treat out of her pocket for her.
"When will we stop?” she asked.
"Late afternoon. Then we will continue at daybreak and be at Lesalm just in time for the evening meal."
"There's something significant to us leaving at midnight, isn't there?"
"Not to me personally, no. The Season of Ubari began at midnight. It is proper that C'arlan preside at the sunrise without our presence and our leaving to distract him and the people."
"What does one do when one presides over a sunrise?"
"Very little. The sun appears without much concern whether or not it receives thanks."
She heard the amusement in his voice and could have wept with relief. She'd feared the sadness in him would remain to control him.
"How many times have you presided at a sunrise and wondered why you'd gotten up so early?” she asked.
He chuckled and hugged her tighter. “Every time. But in the end I always felt in awe of our world and our universe. Of just being alive and a part of it."
"And when the sun comes up in the morning, will you feel the same this year?"
"No.” He smiled into her curious gaze. “This year, I will have you in my arms."
* * * *
Lesalm was not what Trista had expected. The endless desert had suddenly taken a new shape. A strange green hump rose from the sands. It grew larger and larger as they approached. The village of Lesalm sat neatly at the base of the hump with individual homes dotting the side of the hump, sprawled in no discernable order. A small lake indicated the presence of springs.
It was around this lake the troop set up camp. Trista and Vanteen were shown to a small dwelling at the edge of the camp. Obviously this small cottage was reserved for the kaden of a visiting troop.
"Put you things in there,” Vanteen ordered her, pointing to the small room with a real bed. “Vanteen sleep by fire stay warm."
"I think I would like to sleep by the fire, with Q'winn."
"You with Q'winn in there,” Vanteen said firmly. “Close door tight."
"Will you let W'eylin sleep in here?"
"We see. W'eylin very attenn-tive. Make ashamed. Need talk."
"He loves you, Vanteen."
"Know this,” Vanteen said sadly.
Trista let it go. She couldn't bring herself to keep after her friend. It was clear Vanteen was aware of W'eylin's feelings. She didn't have time to reflect on it further. Q'winn stuck his head in the door and told her to come with him to meet the kaden of Lesalm.
Q'winn took her to a large dwelling at the edge of the village. It looked like a little Quonset hut. A young woman was outside waiting for them. They stepped inside and Trista inhaled the rich aromas of roasting meat and baking bread.
S
he and Q'winn had indeed been invited to the evening meal. They were introduced to everyone and Q'winn was seated to the right of F'aryn P'relorr, Lesalm's kaden. Trista was surprised at the man's youth. He looked younger than Q'winn.
Dinner was a cheerful enough affair. F'aryn's wife asked Trista question after question about Terra. Trista answered as best she could, aware of the interest all had in her words.
She offered to help with cleaning up after the meal, but the women refused her. Q'winn took her hand and led her outside.
"Come. I have something to show you,” he said as he led her up a hillside path. He opened the door to one of the dwellings without knocking. Trista's surprise at what appeared to be a lack of courtesy gave way to shock, then confusion.
The house was unoccupied. Trista doubted if anyone had ever lived here. It was too neat, too clean, too orderly. She followed Q'winn into the back bedroom. He opened what appeared to be the door to a storage area and stepped through it. She stayed right behind him.
He ran his hand along the wall and she heard a soft click as the lighting came up. They were in a corridor of sorts. They went about fifty yards then through yet another door. Trista's mouth dropped open in surprise.
"One should always look for what lies beneath,” she murmured. The strange hump in the desert was hollow. A vast complex filled with all sorts of technology lay before them. The quaint village of Lesalm was a cover. Q'winn squeezed her hand and let her take it all in.
"Impressive, isn't it?” he finally asked.
"Is there more than this?"
"Yes. There are several levels under this one, and one above. The Anakin was built here."
"How did you get the ship out?” she asked. “Never mind,” she said quickly as he started to speak. “It's obvious you did and however it's done works."
He smiled. “I could show you, or I could show you the information center. I think that would be of more interest to you."
"Lead on. I'm right behind you."
They walked around the concourse until they reached metal rungs. Q'winn gestured for her to begin climbing. She narrowed her eyes at him. He grinned wolfishly.
Just as she'd suspected. He wanted her to go first so he could look at her rear-end. She felt his eyes on that part of her anatomy for the entire climb of fifty-one rungs.
The Skies of Mahdis Page 16