by Trina M. Lee
Tears welled in her eyes. “I hate you for doing this to us. But I love you too.”
With a muffled sob Jez tore herself away, pacing frantically near the pool. Her erratic energy scattered like lightning bolts, slashing through the atmosphere. She exuded her primal predator with a streak of darkness.
Kale came to me, bridging the gap between us for the last time. We stood surrounded by Shya’s covered patio furniture, lit by only the moon. From inside Gabriel watched us, politely keeping a respectful distance.
“I know you don’t want to do this.” Kale caught both my hands in his. “You have to do it. Those are two different things. Trust me, Alexa. This is the best way.”
Another stab at my insides had me doubled over. This was the end of the line. “I don’t see what you see,” I gasped, “I don’t see that this is the best way.”
Sorrow passed over his face and he sighed. “There is no better person to end me than you. I wouldn’t want it any other way.” He pulled me close, pressing his lips to mine. “I’ve lived in hell on earth for more years than any man should know. Set me free.”
That request. So many times I’d denied it. I could not do that now.
A moan tore from me, and I bit back a yelp. Forcing myself to stand up straight, I clung to him. “I will. God help me, I will. But I will fucking miss you like crazy.”
“Of course you will.” His grin threatened to bring me to my knees. A hand slipped into my hair, and he pulled me into a tight embrace.
Brushing my hair off my neck, I offered myself to him. One last time.
Kale bit deep. I gasped. And everything else fell away. For a split second it was just the two of us, in a lover’s embrace.
The night was cold but calm. A breeze ruffled my hair. A hush stole over me. Serenity swept through me, bringing me to readiness.
This was where it ended.
I could do this. For him, I could do anything.
Another pain racked me, and I whimpered. Kale released his hold and pulled back to search my gaze.
“I love you,” I said, breathy and broken.
“I know.” He didn’t have to say it back. He screamed it in the way he kissed me then, a torturous claiming of my lips that would leave me forever with this moment burned into my memory. Our last kiss. Who would have thought it would be like this?
With one hand on his face, I kissed him back with every part of me. And with the other I drew the Dragon Claw.
With our eyes closed, lost in the passion that had taken us down dark roads of madness and mayhem, some forgotten part of me took over. It brought an inner strength I hadn’t believed I possessed. And I gave Kale what he’d begged of me.
I set him free.
CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
The dagger slid between his ribs with unexpected ease. And in that brief second he had left, Kale kissed me harder.
Then it was over.
Dust and ash fell gently at my feet. My hands shook. Honey-drenched blood stained the Dragon Claw’s blade. Shocked, I let the dagger fall and collapsed to my knees on the cold stone.
Plunging both hands into the dust, I stared in shock and horror as it sifted between my fingers. Turning my hands over I watched as the curse mark faded away.
Somewhere I heard Jez dissolve into hysterics. She sounded far away. I glanced around but saw only the inside of Shya’s house. Not the real house but the illusion he created to keep himself occupied inside the stone.
Shya himself stood near the fireplace, a frown etched into his brow. “I didn’t think you had it in you. I’ve got to admit, I didn’t see this coming. Well played. Enjoy your victory.”
A few blinks and he was gone. I was back in his backyard, watching a streak of gold dash into the night. Jez had shifted and fled the scene.
I should go after her, I knew that, and yet I couldn’t. Staring down at the dust and ash, I tried to comprehend the gravity of what had just happened. But it was so surreal. Part of me refused to accept it.
And then harsh reality came crashing down. What I’d just done, it could never be taken back.
The scream trapped inside me found its way out. It echoed through the night. Shrill and hysterical, I kept screaming until warm arms wrapped around me. The scent of pine and wolf clouded over me.
I collapsed in Shaz’s arms.
He came. He should’ve been leading his pack on a full moon night. But he was here.
Still the tears would not come. I willed them to well up, to flow down my face to stain Shaz’s shirt as I clutched it tight in my dusty fist, screaming so hard it hurt. But they refused to release my pain.
I’d given Kale what he’d wanted. This had been an act of love. So why did I hate myself so much?
Kale is dead. Kale is dead. Kale is dead.
This played on repeat in my head until I started muttering it myself.
Shaz slapped my face, harder each time, until finally the sting of my cheek snapped my gaze to his.
“Lex.” Shaz shook me when I mumbled those three words again. “Lex, come on. Talk to me, babe. I’m here. I’ve got you.”
“I did it.” I shook in his grasp. “I can’t believe I did it.”
He smoothed a hand over my hair, pausing to study the bloody wound in my neck. “It’s what he wanted. You know that.”
“I can’t believe I did it,” I repeated. Sucking the cold night air into my lungs, I stared at the dusty remains, afraid the breeze would steal away what was left of him. No sooner had the thought formed than I pulled away from Shaz and began to frantically gather as much as I could into my hands. “I can’t let him blow away.”
As I gathered the dust, it slipped through my fingers. Furiously, I gathered more only to have it slip away. I gave a frustrated cry and slammed a fist on the ground, the physical pain inconsequential.
Shaz shouted for Gabriel to bring a jar. He came out with an empty vase. The three of us scooped what we could of the ash and dust into the vase. When we’d finished Gabriel handed Shaz the vase and went back inside. I thanked him with a nod before gazing out across the yard, in the direction Jez had gone.
I ached to run too.
Not to find her and not to escape Shaz. Just to flee this place of evil. To go to a place where I could fall apart in order to somehow put myself back together. I had to let go of my precarious hold on sanity, allow myself to come undone. I wanted to drown myself in blood and death, purge this sorrow that weighed me down.
I retrieved the Dragon Claw from where it had fallen. Eyeing the blood smear on the blade, I dragged a finger through it. It smelled so sweet, and I knew it would taste like his honey-drenched power as I licked it from my finger.
Kale’s essence sang through me. Closing my eyes, I savored it. Savored him. Drawing it in, I feasted on his energy, making it part of me.
“Lex.” After allowing me several minutes to reel at the shift in my reality, Shaz broke into my thoughts with a gentle hand on my arm. “Willow’s awake. There’s something you’ve got to see.”
“Willow?” I turned his name over in my mouth, finding comfort in the friendship it brought to mind. “Is he ok?”
“Yeah, he is. But you should go over and see him.” Shaz was leaving something out. His eyes bled to wolf as the moon raced through his veins. “Do you think you can do that?”
“You should be running.” I allowed him to steer me around the house to the driveway.
Jez had parked her Jeep behind my car, blocking me in. Reluctant to leave, I paused with my hand on the passenger door of Shaz’s Cherokee. Staring back toward the yard, my chest ached. The void inside me continued to grow. Like a black hole.
I feared it would swallow me.
Shaz shook his platinum head. “No, I shouldn’t. You need me here.” Careful with the vase, he got into the SUV. Patiently he waited for me to do the same. Then he handed me the ashes of my forbidden lover.
When our hands touched, my wolf delighted in his presence. “I’ll always need you, Shaz. Thanks for coming
.”
He didn’t turn over the engine right away. Instead he took my hand and pulled me in for a wolfish nuzzle. Cheek pressed to mine, he breathed in my scent. “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be. I’m sorry you’re hurting. I wish there was something I could do.”
Despite my anguish a small smile fought its way onto my lips. “You’re doing it now.”
So many things left me uncertain. Many doubts and questions dwelled within my soul. Shaz’s devotion was never one of them.
We drove down the back roads to the city in relative quiet. Shaz allowed me this moment to process everything, but I couldn’t. Not yet. Numbness stole over me. It formed a protective shell to guard the flimsy fragments of my wounded psyche.
I forced my focus outward. Willow needed me.
“So, where’s Arys?” I hated asking. Hated that Shaz was more likely to know why he’d abandoned me in my hour of need.
My white wolf slid me a glance in the dark interior. “I’m not sure.”
“Just as well.” Sliding down in my seat, I tried not to let it bother me that Arys hadn’t showed. I hadn’t really expected him to.
“Would you have honestly wanted him there?” Shaz asked, knowing the answer already. “Would Kale?”
“That’s not the point.” Hearing him speak that name, it was too much too soon. “He wouldn’t have come even if I had.”
We drove along in silence for a time. Silence was not my friend. As the snow-covered fields became city streets, the longing to lose myself in the hunt grew. Like a sudden and severe withdrawal, I needed it.
How the hell would I hold myself together?
“You know,” Shaz began with some hesitation, “the last thing I want to do is undermine your experience tonight, but this has all been a lot harder for Arys than he wants you to know.”
Defensive, I lashed out, needing to vent the turmoil that made me its bitch. “This has been hard for Arys? I didn’t realize getting exactly what he wanted would be such a hardship. Forgive me if my sympathy runs a little shallow.”
Shaz adjusted the heat without taking his eyes off the road, like the intensity of my emotions jacked the temperature too high inside the vehicle. He didn’t look at me when he said, “He hurts when you hurt. You’re his tie to the light, Lex. You’re his heart. In more ways than you might think.”
“So Arys is hurting because I had to kill someone he loathed? And he’s the one who deserves sympathy? Fuck that.” The words tasted bitter as I spoke them, and they left a rotten taste in my mouth afterward.
Arys had spent three hundred years embracing the monster within. Our union brought the light to him and, with that, a renewed sense of purpose. Of love. Deeper than I’d known anyone to love really.
However, that didn’t give him a free pass to be a selfish jerkhole. My pain was being forced on him, so he left me to face it alone. Without him. My twin flame. The one who took my broken pieces and made me whole.
On a purely soul level, we were the same person. And yet, also somehow not. Torn into two by the powers that be and set on a crash course to self-destruction. I knew this. So why did it still surprise me that Arys had not come?
“That’s not what I said. Hey, look at me.” We eased to a stop at a red light, and Shaz nudged my arm. “I’m not taking sides, and if I had to you know it would be yours. Arys likes to play tough, but he can’t handle seeing your love for someone else affect you in a way that has nothing to do with him. This thing with you and Kale, it’s something he can’t touch. And it kills him.”
Though the light had turned green, Shaz held my gaze a moment longer. Then he turned his attention back to the road.
“And you?” I dared to ask. Shaz was no fan of Kale Sinclair, and I didn’t fault him for that.
“Me? I wanted to kill him myself back when you first turned and took off with him.” Shaz’s soft admission filled the SUV. “Arys wouldn’t let me. I came to see that he was no threat to us. He belonged only to the part of you that you try to hide from us. Once I realized that, it got a lot easier to let it go. But you shouldn’t have to feel you need to hide anything. Arys and I, we’re not going anywhere.”
The white wolf saw so much. Wise beyond his years, Shaz had always been good at reading people. Especially me.
“You sound like you have this all figured out.” I laughed softly. “I wish I was so certain of everything.”
As we made our way through the city’s downtown core, Shaz spoke, a wistfulness in his voice. “I know you and Arys both better than you know each other sometimes. I see things. You’re light struggling with dark. He’s dark struggling with light. It sounds the same but it isn’t. It’s the inability to relate to the other’s struggle that drives you apart. But if you could just harness your strengths together to overcome your weakness, you’d be pretty much unstoppable. From the outside, being so close to it, I see it so clearly.”
Letting my head fall back against the seat, I stared straight ahead, trying to process how the hell he’d gotten so insightful while sharing a bed with two batshit crazy vampires. “I don’t know how you put up with us. Keystone or not, we really do need you.”
He slowed to turn into The Wicked Kiss and shot me a playful smile. “That was my conclusion.”
We entered the parking lot, and the sleeping black dragon that was Kale’s Camaro pinned me with an accusing glare. A surge of panic had me fighting to get out of Shaz’s Jeep before he’d even pulled into a spot. He shouted my name as I all but fell out.
It was just a fucking car, I told myself. A car that I’d lain naked upon in a cemetery. I couldn’t look at it without being gripped by the notion that I’d done something I would regret forever.
Shaz caught up to me as I pushed past those gathered at the entry to access the nightclub. Willow. I had to focus on him. I could fall apart later. Just had to keep it together long enough to see Willow through this transition. Somehow. He needed me to be here for him. To not fall apart the way I wanted to. Gritting my teeth, I’d hold myself together for him.
“Is Willow still in the back?” I asked Justin while he scrutinized I.D. cards.
He gave me the slow once over of a vampire assessment. Analyzing my energy, its broken fragments, sharp and bitter. He nodded. “Yeah. Falon is with him.” An odd vibe accompanied that statement.
If Falon was with Willow, then shit had gone sideways. Maybe Willow had awoken with a hunger too strong for Justin to handle. I wasn’t sure Falon was the one who should be handling it though. He and Willow despised one another.
Without grilling him further I raced ahead, intent on the back hall. Shaz kept up, even when I shoved through a group of giggling ladies blocking the path. The Wicked Kiss operated as usual. Always busy. A local band rocked the stage, and people poured in the door to get their freak on. The world had not stopped in the wake of Kale’s death.
And I hated the world for its ignorance.
Briefly I wondered where Jenner had gone. Though he claimed to have come to support Kale in his sacrifice, he hadn’t been there when the time came. It reinforced my suspicion that Jenner had another reason for his stay in our city. Like Arys, Jenner was a Harley Kayson vampire. Sexy, sinister, and selfish. Fuck ’em.
As I passed Briggs’s room, his door stood open. He called my name, but I ignored him as I rushed by.
I paused at my closed office door. Inside Willow would be a newly risen and hungry vampire. I took a deep breath and eased it open.
By now I should know better than to expect anything.
Falon perched on the edge of my desk. He looked over as we entered, but he faced the corner by the couch. I glanced that way.
To the angelic energy cage there.
To the dirty blond wolf within it.
CHAPTER EIGHTEEN
Gold-flecked, green wolf eyes fixed upon me.
I stared into them, unable to believe what I saw. Flustered, I tried several times to speak. And failed. Shaz waited silent beside me in the doorway as I took in t
he wolf pacing inside its metaphysical cage.
Briggs again called my name and snapped me out of my stupor. From his doorway he could only see Falon leaning on my desk. Thankfully. Pulling Shaz into the room behind me, I kicked the door shut.
“Willow?” The sense of surrealism I’d been experiencing all night continued. This couldn’t possibly be real.
Legs like lead, I approached the energy cage. Willow stared at me unblinking. He prowled from one side of the invisible bars to the other, never taking his eyes off me. His whimper became a growl. Bloodlust lurked within him. No way could this be real.
“I didn’t expect you in so soon,” Falon said carefully, testing the waters.
“Yeah well, me neither. What happened? I mean, what the hell happened?” Flinging a hand toward Willow, I whirled to face Falon, searching his passive expression for any explanation.
Shaz went up to the energy cage and crouched down, peering into Willow’s furry face. The two of them exchanged a wordless greeting, wolf to wolf.
“You’re asking me?” Falon scoffed. “This is your handiwork, Alexa. He’s a vaewolf, just like you. A hybrid. I don’t know how you pulled it off, but you better do your damndest to convince the world you can’t do it again. You’re enough of a threat already.”
“Vaewolf? There’s a name for it? Why am I only hearing this now?” I frowned and added, “What do you mean I’m enough of a threat already?”
Gripping the side of the desk, Falon studied me. I shut down any thought or emotion relating to Kale, knowing that was what he sought. Falon wanted to know if I was going to meltdown. Oh, and I was. Exactly when… Well, that was the real question.
“It’s an old term for a vampire and werewolf hybrid. But you are so rare, no one bothers to learn it.” Falon nodded his silver head at the pacing wolf. “How exactly did you do this anyway?”
I inched closer to Willow. Drawn by the heady incubus vibe he emitted and the strong, potent scent of wolf, I studied him. A hybrid. Like me. It shouldn’t have been possible. Arys and I, we had done this. And Falon was right. This could blow back on us.