by Trina M. Lee
Some already considered me a threat to the natural order.
“I have no idea.” It was a partial truth. I didn’t know how the magic worked. But it had. I knew better than to tell Falon how it was done. He didn’t need any more ammo to fling my way.
Willow turned in a circle, whining. Then snarling. Caught between the wolf’s need to run free and the vampire’s blood hunger, he paced restlessly.
Being a hybrid wasn’t all bad. Though it was trying at times, my wolf gave me an outlet, a way to leave the vampire behind and embrace life, even when death sought to reign. Willow deserved that, to be more than just death.
I didn’t regret this turn of events. I merely felt dumbfounded. And a little afraid.
Briggs had destroyed his life and quite a few others working for this exact ability. The man was in the next freakin’ room. And he was just one of many.
Somehow we had to play this off as a fluke. And maybe it was. There was no way of knowing if Arys and I did this or if it was something special about Willow.
We had to take this mystery to our final death. This kind of power, our power, it couldn’t be entrusted to just anyone. We had to be careful to never make this mistake again.
Falon shoved away from the desk. “Don’t lie to me, Alexa. Tell me exactly how you and Arys did this.”
Beside me Shaz stiffened at the fallen angel’s approach.
I ignored Falon, staring instead at Willow. “It doesn’t matter. We won’t be doing it again.”
“Is it safe to assume that means you see how spreading your power around could become a serious problem? Sure, Willow can handle it, likely better than you can. But this kind of shit gets attention, which you could do with less of.” Silver gaze upon Willow, Falon smiled grimly. “You really ought to work on keeping a low profile. You know, by not doing dumb shit.”
And by not somehow binding a fallen angel to me. That’s what he really meant. All he cared about was keeping his own ass out of the line of fire.
“Falon.” I kept my tone light and sweet. “Do fuck off.”
“You’re like the poster wolf for shithead decisions. It’s almost as if you thrive on the danger. Need it.” Falon succeeded in dragging my gaze to his. A smirk adorned his face. “Like the thrill is all that keeps you going from night to night.”
His words penetrated deep. But damn if I’d show that he’d nailed some semblance of truth.
With a dismissive eye roll I muttered, “Yeah, well I guess you would know.”
Shaz watched the exchange with raised brows. He didn’t see Falon and I together often. The strange, erotic, and vicious rhythm of my relationship with Falon, our banter and insulting jibes, were not familiar to him. The scowl that stole over his face said that he never wanted them to be.
He’d never been chill about Falon and me. Not like Arys, who would’ve gladly taken a taste of Falon if offered. But then they both saw it in different ways.
Though he understood my succubus nature, Shaz couldn’t understand why I’d pick someone I loathed. It struck me as funny that he of all people saw it that way.
Arys on the other hand knew exactly what Falon was to me: a drug. A high that obliterated everything but the haze of carefree bliss. A coping tactic in the worst way. And Arys understood it well because he possessed his own dark addiction. Me.
Before the quiet could get awkward, I redirected the topic back to the matter at hand. All I wanted was to get the hell out of there and hunt down some dumb fuck who deserved to die a slow and bloody death.
Was it a healthy way to handle my emotions? Guess that depended who you asked.
“He’s going to need to feed but not while he’s wolf. We can’t let him out until he shifts back.” Turning back to Willow, I held his gaze and tried to smile through the toxic swell of agony I kept choking back. “Are you ok, Willow? I mean, you’re still with me in there, right?”
He cocked his head to one side, ears twitching. Peering deep into those pretty green eyes, I searched for him. Finding his beast, it acknowledged me as its maker. It’s Alpha. But Willow was there too.
He was the wolf and the wolf was him.
Gently I reached out with my mind, seeking that door that should be between us. I found it closed.
As a former angel, he would have to let me in. That probably wouldn’t come easy.
“He’s fine,” Shaz confirmed.
But I wasn’t. The sensation of sliding the Dragon Claw into Kale replayed in my mind. It had to be done. It was over. I couldn’t take it back.
I couldn’t even fucking grieve properly. I shouldn’t be here. I needed to not be here.
Willow had risen. Although he was a friggin’ hybrid, he was ok. That was all I needed to know.
I couldn’t process being here right now. Functioning.
My lungs began to heave as my body played out the human reaction of hyperventilating. It didn’t affect me now, but the mind is a powerful thing, and I reacted as if it did. Gasping like I couldn’t get enough air, I backed toward the door.
“Lex?” Shaz started to follow then stopped, seeing something on my face that held him back.
“I can’t.” Head shaking, whipping blonde hair into my face, I reached behind me for the door handle. “I need to go. Stay with Willow. Please?”
Without waiting for a response, I turned and fled.
Down the back hall I ran, a blur as I slammed through the back door and into the night.
Kale is dead. Kale is dead. Kale is dead.
Why wouldn’t it stop? My inner voice screamed those three words over and over in accusation. Until they poured out of my mouth. I ran blindly through an alley behind the buildings, louder and louder, almost shrieking the words.
Keeping my composure so I could be there for Willow had come at a price. And I was all out of fucks to give or sanity to shred. If I stayed in this mindset, feeling and thinking, I might start to realize, truly accept, that I had murdered someone I loved.
And it would take me apart piece by piece.
Pressed against the back of a tall building that housed several businesses, I shoved my hands through my hair and sank to my knees.
“Kale is dead.” The admission felt wrong in my mouth. It tasted like dust and ash.
Closing my eyes, I concentrated on the noise of the city center. The steady rush of traffic on the main avenue. Voices raised as partygoers shuffled in the cold from one bar to another.
Voices that drew closer. Hearts that pumped liquor-tainted blood. There I would seek out solace, knowing already it would elude me.
Because I had killed it.
I would never know solace again.
Listening to the beat of an approaching heart, I waited. The moment my victim passed by the alley entrance, my eyes snapped open and I lunged.
Straight into Falon. Silver wings spread, he stood blocking my path. His perfect face had a hard set to it, like the stone he appeared to have been carved from.
“I can’t let you run wild, killing as you please. You know that. I’ve cleaned up far too many of your messes already.” His gaze flicked over me, slightly analytical and more than a little judgmental.
“So what’s one more?” Fueled by an inner turmoil that stole my ability to give a damn, I threw out the challenge.
My hand went to the Dragon Claw. I’d plunged it into one lover already tonight. Giving Falon a taste of the blade would get rid of him for a while.
His gaze followed my hand. “Are you going to use that thing?”
“Go away, Falon.” My would-be victim passed by unawares, and I snarled. “Of all the times to bait me, can this please not be one of them? I need this.”
I made as if to step by him, and he moved to block, staying constantly in front of me. Frustrated I gave him a shove that did little to budge him with those flared wings as an anchor. He tried and failed to hide a smirk when I kicked a garbage bin in anger.
“You don’t need the kill. You merely want it. It’s a sinful desire th
at feels good in the moment but ultimately only brings temporary relief. And permanent regret. An unfortunate side effect of being a vampire.” Falon stuffed his hands into the pockets of his black trench coat and tucked his wings in close to his body. His casual stance didn’t fool me. He was ready to react.
“Sounds an awful lot like you’re talking about us,” I quipped.
A quick analysis of the situation and I knew I’d not be rid of him unless I wanted to fight him, an idea I didn’t entirely oppose. It would mean getting my ass kicked, but if it also meant purging this sick need to explode into a million pieces, I’d do it.
With a quirk of a brow and a lazy half shrug Falon said, “You asked me to stop you from doing this, Alexa. You knew you’d lose your shit and go on a binge. We can fight this out, or we can fuck this out. But I’m not standing aside.”
Son of a bitch. I did ask him to stop me. And fuck him for listening.
Frustration bloomed into rage. Shocks of blue-and-gold power streaked around my fingertips. “Just go, Falon. Please. Find Jez. She ran off after… She might need help.”
My voice seized. I choked on the memory as it replayed, so fresh and new. My gaze dropped and I studied my dusty boots. Kale is dead.
Tremors shook me. I shivered with a sudden chill that came not from the winter night but dwelled inside my shattered spirit. I took a step back, thinking I might just run in the opposite direction. But there was no outrunning an angel. Nor the demons that lived in my head who just kept repeating, Kale is dead.
Falon stared up at the sky, a quizzical furrow to his brow. “She doesn’t want to be found. I can’t feel her energy signature.”
“What does that mean?” I demanded, slammed with worry. I couldn’t lose Jez too.
“It means she’s embraced her power. Or rather, it’s embraced her. You know what that’s like. She’ll be found when she’s ready.” He watched me with a keen eye, waiting for me to make a move.
But I couldn’t. The storm of emotion rolled in, bringing with it a torrential downpour of epic proportions. When it all hit, it hit hard. And it had been some time coming.
Jez was MIA and going through God only knew what. Willow paced a cage as a rarity that should never exist. Arys had left me to face one of the worst experiences of my life without him.
And Kale was dead.
“Let me go,” I begged Falon. “Just give me tonight.”
The back of my eyes stung. What fresh hell was this? Now the tears came. Now the emotional floodgates burst open.
I turned away, refusing to cry in front of him—no need to make a habit of that. But the tears wouldn’t be stemmed. I’d struggled to summon them, and now there was no stopping the torrent of blood tears that slid down my cheeks.
“I’m not going to do that.” Falon stood behind me now. Almost close enough to touch. I could feel him.
I wanted to scream at him that he couldn’t possibly understand what I felt. He did though. He’d lost someone he loved too. She had betrayed him, and he came to me to escape her.
Escaping Kale wasn’t what I wanted. The pain though, the suffocating agony, I could use a break from that.
“I won’t grab an innocent,” I tried again, refusing to look at him. “Some dirtbag who deserves it. You can come with me.”
“You know I love it when you beg, but I prefer it to be for my cock.” Leaning in close, Falon’s lips brushed my ear as he murmured, “What do you need from me?”
That was what I’d asked him that night in the hotel. The night Falon’s mask had slipped and I’d seen a glimpse of the damage he carried with him. They say that time heals wounds. They lie.
A shiver shot down my spine when I heard myself say, “I need you to make me forget.”
What I sought, only he could give. Of all my lovers only Falon took me to a place beyond this world. Where light and dark ceased to have such a finely drawn line between them and nothing mattered but those shades of gray between.
The heat of Falon’s body, inches from mine, made me quiver. He used a finger to tuck a piece of hair behind my ear. “You want me to take you where only I can.”
“Yes.” I nodded, keeping my back to him, afraid to meet his silver gaze.
“Careful what you ask for. You will get it.” His mouth pressed to my ear, his tone sinister, promising pain and pleasure. “I ache to do bad things to you.”
Heat rushed to my groin. A few silent tears rolled down my face. I gave myself over to him, if only to be free of the misery for a little while.
My heart was breaking and I couldn’t take anymore.
A nod. That was all he needed. I didn’t have to say another word.
Falon plunged a hand into my hair, gripping tight. He jerked my head back and pressed the side of his face to mine. “Tell me what you want. Tell me that you want me inside you.”
It wouldn’t be Falon if he didn’t take great joy in having any chance to wrench control away from me. His other hand pressed tight against my stomach before sliding possessively between my legs.
Excitement sparked, fed by my desperate need to drug myself with him. I reached back to slip my arm around his neck, rubbing my ass against his growing hard-on. “I want you inside me.”
He groaned before shoving me against the wall of the building. “Say my name.”
Hands splayed on the cold brick, I gasped when he jerked my leggings down. The frozen night air slapped my bare ass seconds before his hand did. A growl rose in my throat. The instinct to smack him back made it tough to keep my hands on the wall.
I’d asked for this. I wanted it. It should have been Arys helping me to fuck the pain away, but truth be told, I couldn’t trust him not to lose it and kill me. Huh. Never imagined I’d see the day when I trusted Falon more than Arys. That was a whole new level of fucked up.
“Falon,” I murmured, sultry and soft. “I want you to fuck me until the only name I know is yours.” A pulse of erotic energy supercharged my request. It had Falon muttering obscenities as my power drew him under my thrall.
The sound of his zipper was especially loud in the dark alley. He grabbed my hips and roughly tugged me into his preferred position. Hands on the wall, back arched and ass raised, my boots helped with the little height discrepancy.
With one hand on my lower back, Falon entered me with an aggressive thrust. “Don’t come until I tell you.”
His sharp command stirred a butterfly to life in my belly. As he thrust deep into me, the need for him grew until my legs shook. A perk to being taken from behind was that I didn’t have to look at him. Didn’t have to see the smug satisfaction he got from making me whimper with each thrust.
Surrendering to him came easier than expected. I liked to call the shots with Falon. My usual method with him was to get in, get off, and get out. In whatever position I chose, most often something that worked to amp up the power draw as I feasted on his otherworldly essence.
But what I needed from him now meant giving up that control I clung to, trusting him to take me where I needed to go. As he’d trusted me.
I caught myself pondering the therapeutic elements to our encounters. It was so much more than the fuck-buddy scenario we pretended it was. So much more that it had drawn the attention of outsiders. The Circle of the Veil for one. Falon and I danced with danger, and I fucking loved it.
So he’d been right to say I lived for the thrill. Because I’d let him get close enough to learn that about me. And that in itself was dangerous.
“Stop thinking.” Slipping a hand into my hair, he gave it a firm tug. The slight sting sent a shockwave of desire to my core. “That’s not what we do here. Now, you’re going to scream for me, wolf.”
His other hand held tight to my ass, holding me as I took the impact of his forceful thrusts. Falon danced his fingers over my ass, along my hip, a slow descent down in front of me to slip between my thighs. He targeted my clit with the precision and familiarity of someone who’d learned my body with the intimacy of a lover.
/> Not a victim.
Falon had never been my victim. No matter how hard I’d tried to convince myself that was all he’d been. The resentment between us, the loathing and snide remarks, all of it genuine. It was what made our arrangement work. I couldn’t imagine it any other way.
So deep he filled me, the way he knew I liked it. My moans became growls. My fingertips became claws against the brick. Restraining the wolf was tough on a full moon night.
The heavy vibe of his desire fell all around me, blanketing the atmosphere. Although I liked to be more hands on with his power, it still clouded my head, leaving me in a haze of Falon.
My moans became cries as he roughly fucked me into a total frenzy. His hand between my legs worked me to the edge of climax.
Falon chuckled, a sexy sound that almost pushed me over the edge. “Not yet.”
Was he freakin’ kidding me? With the way he touched me while filling me again and again, I couldn’t stop that wave from rising.
“Stop,” I begged. “I can’t hold back.”
“You can and you will.” He leaned close over me to graze my temple with his lips.
The intensity of his thrusts increased until my arms shook with the effort it took to stay braced against the wall. Holding back wasn’t quite my style. I wanted that release. That peak moment of absolute euphoria before I tumbled back down the other side. My sanity relied on it.
My cries became screams as the pleasure became too much. Falon released my hair to clap a hand over my mouth, muffling my shrieks. We were in the downtown core. It wouldn’t do to draw attention.
“Come for me,” Falon demanded. “I want to feel your sweet pussy spasm on my cock.”
My legs threatened to give out. He twitched inside me as I came, timing his orgasm perfectly with mine. He caught me around the waist as I collapsed.
When I was steady on my feet again, he pulled away. I dragged my pants back up and turned to face him. My insides jittered from the rush. I attempted to smooth my hair down, knowing I had to look like hell.
One glance from Falon confirmed it. His lip curled in a sneer. “Shit, you look like a ghost from some Japanese horror movie. All pale and bloody. Ghastly.”