Mates, Dates Guide to Life

by Cathy Hopkins

  Cut out fast foods/junk foods that contain preservatives, colouring and additives, and replace with homemade meals from fresh produce.

  Reduce fatty foods and replace with baked or grilled foods.

  Reduce your salt intake.

  Reduce your sugar intake.

  Keep coffee to a maximum of two cups a day.

  A little bit of what you fancy does no harm every now and then, i.e. in moderation.

  Make sure you’re getting enough calcium in your diet for healthy bone development. Sources of calcium are most dairy products and some bread.

  If you’re feeling tired or sluggish, ensure you’re getting enough iron and protein in your diet. Sources of iron are meat, fish, eggs, green leafy vegetables and breakfast cereals. Sources of protein are meat, fish, eggs, nuts and beans or pulses. If you’re unsure, you can ask your doctor to do a test for anaemia, which is a condition that can be caused by an iron deficiency and can make you tired and pale.

  And there you have it - good health!

  Going Organic

  by Izzie Foster

  When it comes to my soul, I don’t know

  I’ve got questions without any answers

  But in the fight for my body I’m in control

  I want my food from the earth not a chemical plant

  When it comes to taste it’s a real tough choice

  I’m just a happy eater who dreams of pizza

  And when it comes to health food I’m just a big cheater

  I am what I eat, but junks got me beat

  Gotta eat better, be a real trend-setter, a healthy go-getter

  Cut out the burgers, kick out chocs

  I don’t want to end up fat in a wooden box

  Must eat organic and save the planet

  But I’m a happy eater who dreams of pizza

  And when it comes to health food I’m just a big cheater

  Fashion by LL

  (i.e. Lucy Lovering of Lucy Lovering Designs)

  Bras

  Starting, ahem, with the undergarment. Gawd knows why the girls are letting me do this section as I have no chest to speak of, although it has grown slightly in the last year. (And I mean slightly, you still need a microscope!) However, as I design my own clothes and want my own label when I leave school, I have learned how important the right bra is. It can totally improve your shape. However, shopping for bras can be a daunting experience.

  The problem: There are so many types these days that it can be hard to know where to start. Not just colours and fabrics, but types: bras for total support, ego-boosters, minimisers, bras with no front, no back, no straps, balcony bras, wired, plunge, moulded, padded, seamed, non-padded, five-way, sheer, halterneck, cross-over, one shoulder, bioform, sculptured, push-up, multiway, T-shirt, sport, stretch and many more. It’s no wonder we get confused and it can be easy just to grab one that looks about right and leave it at that. Apparently, though, seven in ten girls wear the wrong size for their shape.

  The solution: Most large stores now have an in-house measuring service so you can make sure that you are wearing the right fit. It’s really worth taking the time to get this done - the right bra under outfits can totally improve your shape and stops that horrible riding up at the back or puckering around the cup that you can get if you’re wearing the wrong size. When you have established your size, try on a few different designs in the same size as some will look better than others - some make you look pointy, others push you up or flatten you and so on.

  The Essential Wardrobe

  (for Girlie or Goth)

  It’s so easy to go shopping and end up with a wardrobe stuffed with clothes that don’t go with anything else or were an impulse buy. Regardless of what your style is, there are certain items that every girl should have in her wardrobe.

  One pair of well-fitting jeans. These can be worn for casual wear or dressed up with a sparkly top for evening. When shopping for these, take a friend (like Nesta) who will give you an honest opinion of how you look in them from behind!

  One pair of black trousers, as they make you look slim and go with anything.

  One flirty skirt. Skirts cut on the bias are the most flattering.

  One sparkly or glam top for the evening. It can be worn with trousers, jeans or a skirt.

  One jacket. Again, take an honest friend with you when you shop for this as different cuts look good on different shapes.

  A big comfy sweater or sweatshirt to cover you up on days when you’re feeling bloated.

  A coat. Single-breasted is the most flattering.

  One good T-shirt (you can’t go wrong with white).

  One pair of killer high heels. If you have thicker legs, stay away from ankle straps as they make legs look shorter and ankles look bigger.

  One pair of trainers for when you have to walk a lot.

  To these essential items you can add your own preferences in tops, accessories and you’re away, looking good!

  Lucy’s Top Tips for Making the Most of Yourself

  Stand up straight. Don’t slouch or hunch over. Think ‘supermodel’ and strut your stuff.

  Eat fresh, healthy food. As mentioned previously, hair and skin glow on a good diet and are dull on a stodgy junk food diet. You are what you eat (though the occasional choc fest is absolutely permissable).

  Have regular pampering sessions, even if they’re DIY at home. You’ll get the idea that you’re worth it, and others will pick up on this.

  Pay attention to details: nails, hands, feet, eyebrows, skin.

  Keep hair clean and well cut. It’s Murphy’s Law - the day you put off washing your hair is the day you’ll bump into someone you fancy, so be prepared.

  Save up and buy one wonderful item that makes you feel fabulous whenever you put it on.

  Wear underwear that fits properly and looks good (see page 103 for how to get the right bra fit).

  Think positively. Of all things you wear, your expression is that one that people see first so smile, it’s the best beauty aid there is. If you are miserable and bored with yourself, others will pick up on that.

  Invest in a pair of fab sunglasses for days when you feel tired and not at your best.

  Ninety percent of looking good comes from confidence. Believe in yourself. Everyone has it in them to look wonderful in their own individual way. Find out what suits you. A designer label doesn’t guarantee the item will look fab on you. (If you’re not sure what your style is, most of the big stores now have personal shoppers. You book an appointment and after an initial short consultation with you, they will scour the store on your behalf and bring back a load of fab outfits for you to try. It’s usually a free service and there’s no obligation to buy anything they bring if you don’t like it.)

  PART THREE

  Survival Tips for Every Occasion

  by TJ Watts

  The girls asked me (TJ) to coordinate this part because, as you’ll see, a number of different people have contributed. In this day and age, there’s more to being cool than just wearing the right outfit. It pays for a girl to be street smart as well as beautiful so this next section is about survival at school, at home and out and about - and how to get through some of the situations that arise for us teens. It’s best to be in the know where you can. As the boy scouts say, be prepared.

  Surviving at School

  Dealing with Bullies

  by Nesta Williams

  People who know me now think that I am mega confident and good at seeing bullies off, but I wasn’t always like this. I was bullied at my last school and it’s an experience I’ll never forget. Why they picked on me, I don’t really know. Maybe they were jealous, maybe they didn’t like the way I looked, maybe the sound of my voice irritated them. Who knows? There are just some mean people out there who can make life miserable for the rest of us. They’ve probably got problems of their own which makes them take it out on those who appear weaker or different. One thing I do know, though, is that no one deserves to be a punch bag or dump
ing ground for someone else’s problems. At first I thought it must be me - my fault - that there was something wrong with me. Then one day I realised, No, I’m OK, actually - it’s them who’ve got the problem and I don’t want to be part of it. Eventually I did learn to stand up for myself and I’ve put some of the ways I learned to deal with bullies down below.

  First of all, how do you recognise that you’re being bullied? It’s not always physical. Bullying can take many forms:

  Teasing

  Name-calling

  Humiliating

  Excluding

  Ignoring

  Physical violence

  Stealing from

  Spreading rumours

  Here’s what to do if any of the above are happening to you or someone you know:

  Where possible, avoid situations when you might be alone with the bully. This isn’t being cowardly - why walk into trouble if you can avoid it?

  If you can’t avoid situations where the bullies hang out or if you fear a certain route or place, make sure that you’re accompanied when you go there.

  As far as you can, don’t show that you’re upset. If bullies don’t get a reaction, they’ll soon lose interest.

  If you are threatened with violence over money or possessions, hand them over without a fight, as your safety is more important, then let an adult know as soon as possible. This isn’t snitching. No one has the right to nick your stuff and make you miserable.

  Speak up for yourself. I know it can be hard if you’re shy or lacking in confidence, but you have every right to go to school or about your everyday business without being hassled. If someone is giving you a hard time, don’t just take it. Talk back, stick up for yourself and if you can’t handle it by yourself, let someone know who can help you, whether it be friends, family or teachers. If someone dismisses your problem or is unhelpful, choose to move on and find someone who does take you seriously. Many teens don’t want to tell a teacher as they fear it will only worsen the situation. You and your friends could, however, ask a teacher to set up a box where people can leave anonymous notes letting them know what is going on. Bullying needs to be brought to a school’s attention and can be stopped. And often people who are being bullied don’t want to tell a parent for fear of them causing a fuss by charging in to sort the situation out - in which case, you could always ask them to slow down and discuss solutions first. Remember that the bully needs help too and if the situation is brought to light, you will also be helping other prospective victims as well as the bully (bullying behaviour can stem from unhappiness, lack of self-esteem and sometimes they’ve even been bullied themselves and they’re taking it out on someone else).

  Don’t be a victim. Don’t go into ‘poor me’ consciousness and let bullies walk all over you, like they’re the strong ones and you’re the weak one. Act like a person that no one would ever bully Walk tall and confidently. Look people in the eye. Be ASSERTIVE.

  Take a self-defence course. Not so that you can to engage in a fight, but just knowing that you can defend yourself will improve your confidence.

  If you’re not ready to speak to anyone, go to the library and look at books there written about how to deal with bullying. Alternatively there are many good sites on the Internet that also deal with it. Just type ‘bullying’ into your search engine.

  You do have choices. You can choose to change things. It may feel that you have no control at all and are totally at the mercy of someone else’s nastiness. Not true. You always have a choice as to how you are going to deal with a situation and choosing to be a victim and letting the situation carry on is only one of those choices. Other choices are to do something about it and if you can’t handle it alone, choose to get help. Bullying is not something that is happening only to you. It has happened all over the world to thousands of people and if you don’t want to tell your parents or teachers, there are other people and organisations equipped to deal with it, such as ChildLine which is a confidential twenty-four hour phone line that you can call if in trouble (0800 11 11 or www.childline.org.uk) You’re not alone. You may feel as if you are, but often people stay silent because of fear. You will be doing everyone a big favour if you help the situation to be dealt with.

  Good luck. Remember all the clichés. The darkest hour is just before dawn, etc., etc. There was a time when I was so miserable that I felt my life was over and I’d never be happy again. All because of some mean-spirited kids. I got through it and if you’re being bullied, I know that you can too.

  Studying

  Study Tips

  by Mrs Allen

  Ever wondered how some teens get good results at school? Not always because they’re natural brainboxes and clever things just pour out of them like water out of a tap. Nope. It’s because they’ve got their study time sorted. This is hot off the press from our headteacher, Mrs Allen, so pay attention as she can be very strict!

  Preparation

  If possible, have a specific place to study where there are no distractions and you have space to lay out your books.

  Turn off the TV and ask your family to hold your calls. Turn off your mobile.

  Time-manage. A reasonable amount each day works better than last minute panic-cramming as you have so much to take in. Prepare a timetable of revision and stick to it!

  Choose a regular time each day for your study. That way, your mind will come to recognise the time for homework or revising and be more receptive.

  Make a checklist of what needs to be done so that you can see that you are progressing.

  Don’t try to work too late at night.

  Always make sure you’ve a number of good quality pens you are used to using.

  Effective working means setting yourself clear and realistic goals both in the short-term and the long-term. Don’t try to read all the set books in one short period! Once again, time-manage.

  Be clear about what you need to do. For example: sometimes there isno need to read every book closely. Some are for reference, some can be scanned with concentration only on selected parts. Some books require careful study. Your teacher should give you guidance on this.

  Make sure you have the books you need, such as a home dictionary.

  Attitude

  Don’t put off until tomorrow what you can do today. And the sooner your work is done, the sooner you can catch that movie or whatever it is you want to do. Plus you’ll enjoy your leisure time more as you won’t have that homework hanging over you.

  Take responsibility for organising your own studies and don’t be dependant on teachers to organise every little thing for you. This means not leaving study to the last minute.

  Set realisable targets and plan rewards for when you meet them.

  Ignore people who appear to be successful without revising; it’s rarely true.

  Learn to say ‘no’ to your friends who keep ringing up or want you to come out. Your boyfriend will have to put up with seeing you only twice a week.

  Looking After Yourself

  Include fresh air and physical exercise in your revision regime to keep your head clear.

  Don’t skip meals. Eat fresh, nutritious food as opposed to junk or fast food. Fish oils are also reputed to help brain power so eat oily fish (such as salmon) or take fish oil capsules (such as cod liver oil).

  Make sure your desk and chair are at a good height for you to prevent back- or neckache.

  Take a short break every now and then to stretch, get a drink or give yourself a reward.

  Expect a modicum of anxiety. It can be a good thing since it means you are motivated. Over-anxiety is usually the result of letting work and tasks pile up until you feel engulfed.

  Adequate sleep is extremely important, so have some early nights - especially around exam times.

  Schedule some leisure time so that your brain has time to rest and take in all your studying.

  Revision

  Don’t keep putting revision off - the closer you are to an exam the more stressed you will be and
the less effectively you will revise.

  Make revision cards - they can be useful as a ready reminder on the bus to school.

  Talk about your work with others studying the same subjects. It helps you to remember it and alerts you to anything you need to revisit that you’re struggling to explain.

  Put posters of key formulas and quotes around your bed-room, on the fridge, etc.

  Revision is like fitness-training: the more you do, the more you can do.

  Use different colour highlighter pens for important points in different areas.

  Prepare bullet point responses to past exam questions (your teacher can usually provide these).

  Read through your notes at different speeds. It helps sometimes just to flick through them to remind yourself of what’s there.

  Use travel time to catch up on reading.

  And Izzie may be surprised to see this one, but she’s not the only one who knows her essential oils! Basil and peppermint essential oils both have properties than sharpen the concentration and aid memory so can be used to help in study time. Put a few drops on a tissue and inhale when you feel like your head is overstuffed with facts and your mind is growing fuzzy and weary.