The Complete Where Dreams

by M. L. Buchman

  Gerta had noted Jo’s entrance right away, though her only reaction had been a quick glance of dark eyes. Fred must have noticed Gerta’s attention, as his gaze drifted in Jo’s direction.

  The smile he offered when he recognized her was slow, slow and sad. He was the one who’d called her to tell her that her father was dead.

  Jo sat on her father’s stool in the Crab Hole, hoping that no one with initials “H” and “I” showed up while she was here or she might never escape. It was creepy. She’d never sat here before, not even in her dad’s lap that she could remember. He hadn’t been a lap kind of guy.

  Thankfully he also hadn’t been a drunk, particularly. Not the way she always thought of them anyway, staggering out of the Seattle clubs at two a.m. as likely to walk into walls as along the sidewalk. Or the burnout alkies begging around Pioneer Square.

  Yes, her father had gotten off the boat, gone to his stool at the Crab Hole, and not moved until closing or near enough. But he nursed only a couple beers each night. It was some sort of sad male bonding that caused these five guys to perch every night in front of Fred’s bar and talk sports, fishing, weather, and tourists. Which was most of their repertoire, leaving a lot of time for KTKN to drone quietly in the background.

  Fred no longer got up to wait the tables. “Too much arthritis in my old hip.” He’d practically become one of his own patrons anchored to a stool, just on the other side of the bar. Gerta serviced the tables, cooked the fry or grill orders, and tended the bar with a quiet efficiency and actually appeared to be happy with what she was doing.

  “Better than nuclear specialist in Ukrainian Army,” Gerta had offered in barely recognizable English when she noted Jo’s attention. Actually, if Jo hadn’t grown up in a town where there were many Russian fishermen, she’d not have understood Gerta at all. And once Jo had unraveled Gerta’s words in her head, by which time the woman had moved on, Jo hoped that she hadn’t heard them correctly.

  Fred had gotten Jo a beer personally, even though she hadn’t wanted one. But she was too polite to say so, and knew Fred didn’t serve wine, nasty or otherwise. All of them from Adam to Fred were clearly at a loss of what to do with the empty stool, it had probably been filled nearly every night for thirty or more years. Gerta didn’t appear to be bothered by much of anything.

  “It was fast,” Fred told her. “Funny, he wasn’t the drunk one. It was the one who hit him that was out of his gourd. Twenty-two year old tourist kid who just totally wrecked his own life. After he hit your dad, he overcorrected and drove into that new antiques place on Madison. Busted up his leg and hip and what the Californian owner claims is about a quarter million worth of the ugliest junk you’ve ever seen. For a while we didn’t know whether or not his old man was going to kill him before the cops let him out of the hospital on bail.”

  “And,” Bernie chimed in, he always liked adding the last line to a story. “Rumor is he was far more pissed about the antiques coming out of his insurance than some manslaughter charge his son might get slapped with.”

  “Didn’t come out right there, Bern.” About the only statement Adam ever made was correcting Bernie.

  Somehow it was appropriate that drink had been the instrument of death for Earnest Thompson, even if she wasn’t going to say so in this bar.

  “‘Course he had less than six months to live,” Carl offered.

  “He what?” Jo leaned forward to look around Dan’s bulk.

  “Liver,” Bernie offered without really turning to look at her as if he were still trying to puzzle out what was wrong with his last utterance.

  “Prostate, ya’ fool,” Adam corrected.

  Dan, as usual, said nothing. He simply dug into a pocket, set a key on the bar with barely a sound and slid it over to her. The house key. Dan was big, but he was also the youngest at the bar, probably only in his late fifties or early sixties. As such, it had clearly been his task to climb the fifty-six stairs to her father’s shack and oversee what needed overseeing.

  Jo didn’t want the key and all that it implied, but she didn’t want to offend Dan either. She nodded to him and stuffed the key in her pocket.

  She’d just found out her father had been dying anyway, that he hadn’t told her, and she could think of nothing to say. Heck, she was fitting right in at the bar of the Crab Hole.

  “Jo, I knew you come!”

  Before she could identify the voice behind her, she was tipped back on the stool and swept into a kiss.

  Yuri Andreevich!

  One arm around her shoulders held her tipped back and off balance, the other started at her hip but was headed straight toward her chest. He drove the kiss at her even as she shoved against his massive chest, to little effect.

  He broke the kiss for a moment. “I know you come here when your father die. And now he no longer scare you away from beautiful Alaska and you can stay here for me and we can make many babies together.”

  He leaned back in and she managed to shove him aside long enough to say, “No!” Her entire system was galvanized with revulsion. She didn’t think there was a way to make the Crab Hole worse than it was, but Yuri had found one.

  He drove at her again with his whiskey breath and she slapped him as hard as she could, putting every inch of her workout muscles into it.

  Yuri’s head barely turned. He just smiled. “I knew you missed me. Now we can make love like two Russian wildcats.”

  Abruptly she was free, so fast that she’d have fallen to the floor without Dan’s steadying hand on her back.

  “The lady said, ‘No’!”

  She turned to see which of the alphabet gang had pulled Yuri off. They were all off their stools and moving in, but the fist that connected with Yuri’s jaw hard enough to snap his head back belonged to Angelo. Angelo was a head shorter, but with shoulders just as wide as Yuri’s. Yuri stumbled back into a crab-shell covered wall with a loud crunch that broke dozens of shells showering tiny flakes of calcium carbonate to the floor.

  Angelo didn’t give him a moment to recover. Two more hits, gut and chin again. Before Yuri could collapse to the floor, Angelo grabbed him by the hair and the back of his belt. He got him into a stumbling run and ran him at the heavy wooden entry door.

  Angelo released him just as he hit. Yuri crashed through the front door, opening it with his head, and tumbled out onto the sidewalk. A short scream came from some tourist he almost bowled over as he collapsed against a car parked at the curb. A little display of local color. Another tourist snapped a photo even as the door swung shut.

  Angelo came back to her slowly. The others were gathered around her asking if she was okay. Even Fred had made it out from behind the bar. But that was all a mere background buzz.

  “How?” Jo gestured helplessly toward the wall of shattered crab shells.

  “I grew up with Russell. He was always getting us into some rissa. Scuffle.”

  “Oh. Uh. What are you doing here?” She didn’t know whether to laugh or cry or shout or throw herself at him.

  He stopped a foot away, massaging one hand with the other.

  “I, uh… You shouldn’t be alone when family dies. Cassidy said you had no one else and she couldn’t leave Russell, so I came.”

  “But how?” She really wasn’t being very lucid was she. She pointed toward the door Yuri had so recently exited as if that would complete the question she couldn’t formulate. It swung open as a couple tourists came in, looking over their shoulders at the man now up on all fours and shaking his head.

  Angelo shrugged in that Italian fashion of his. “I came in and saw you at the bar. I didn’t want to disturb you.” He pointed at a half-finished beer sitting at a small table to the side.

  She stepped in until their bodies brushed together. She ran a finger down his cheek.

  “Thank you,” she barely mouthed it then simply wrapped her arms around his neck and lay her head on his shoulder. Yuri didn’t really matter, the alphabet gang would have pulled him off in a moment more, though
it wouldn’t have been half as satisfying.

  But no one had ever dropped everything and come two thousand miles just because she shouldn’t be alone. Being in Angelo’s arms was the first rational thing that had happened to her since the stupid phone call.

  “Adam, Bernie, Carl, Dan, Fred, and Gerta. This is Angelo.” Jo couldn’t stop holding his hand and Angelo wasn’t complaining for a second. Gerta found him another stool somewhere in the back, and Jo had them shoved together so close that they couldn’t sit without touching.

  Russell had mentioned over Sunday breakfast at Cassidy’s condo that Jo’s dad had died and she’d gone to Alaska. Without thinking, or even saying goodbye, he’d simply walked out the door and headed to the airport. No luggage, nothing. Just two phone calls. One to Manuel that the restaurant was his for the moment. The other to his mother to help Manuel. Mama had said only one word when she heard why he was already racing to the airport, “Go.” Then she’d hung up and he could only hope everything would be okay.

  The whole flight north he’d been torn. A summer Sunday, he really should be at the restaurant. He’d abandoned everyone at a moment’s notice. On the other side, he couldn’t get to Alaska fast enough.

  Russell had texted him sometime during the flight and he got the message when he landed. Cassidy had recalled some college story about a bar called the Crab Hole. Who could forget a name like that? Starting there for lack of a better idea, he’d rushed in and come to a halt when he’d seen her at the bar with an untouched beer sitting in front of her. He’d almost gone forward, but he knew this scene from a dozen different bars, though never one this oddly decorated. He recognized the slow conversation of regulars. She knew these people and they knew her.

  He’d raised a single finger to the bartender and tipped his hand as if opening a beer tap. She’d brought a pint of whatever she had on draft to the side table he’d chosen. From there he could watch Jo’s profile. Only sitting there watching her, did he finally realize that he could have just called her cell phone when he landed. But that didn’t matter now, he’d found her anyway.

  It was odd to watch. She fit in and she didn’t. The conversation, so slow and sporadic as to be almost nonexistent, had continued in its way. They liked her and she them. It was so obvious that she was a part of their world. Yet, though he’d never seen her so dressed down, she still stood out like a tourist. Her clothes were too new, too well coordinated. Her jeans didn’t just fit, they clung. Her hair wasn’t just clean, it shone.

  He’d fallen so far under the spell of watching her that he hadn’t seen the big Russian arrive. Yuri had swept Jo into his arms like a long lost lover. Angelo had been frozen in place. It couldn’t be. He couldn’t have so misread the situation, it just couldn’t be. He’d kill himself. The betrayal hit him like a leaden weight that almost brought the half beer in his empty stomach back up as bitter bile.

  Then he heard the whispered, “No,” and the sharp slap. That was all the motivation he’d needed. She’d begun to struggle in earnest even as he reached her side. It had been a pleasure taking the man down. His hand still stung like the dickens, though he’d be hanged if he’d admit it.

  Gerta had given him an ice pack for which he was immensely grateful. He discretely wiggled his fingers again to make sure they weren’t broken. You could cook despite cuts and burns, but a broken hand would be a whole different matter. With one hand in ice and the other clamped onto by Jo, he wasn’t able to drink his beer, but that was the only fault he could find with the moment.

  Chapter 27

  The stories slowly unwound around Jo. The stories of her father’s friends huddled at the Crab Hole bar revealed a man she knew, yet didn’t know.

  “He spoke even less than old Dan here. That’s why they ended up at the end of the bar. Whereas I never shut up which is how I ended up in the middle.” Carl spoke after a long, comfortable pause. In any other company, he’d be the silent one, but he was definitely the talker of this group.

  “Adam and Bernie, well, they’re the youngsters. I think you were already born by the time they came along.”

  Twenty-eight years they’d been sitting at this bar and they were still the youngsters. She shared a smile with Angelo.

  After another silence, Fred looked at her. “Strange seeing the two of you sittin’ so close like that. Earnest and Eloise used to sit that way. Had six stools here for a pretty fair time. She came off one of the cruise ships and just didn’t leave. She glowed the way you do, Jo. That’s why she named you for the girl in that book Little Women. Said you had that same life in you.”

  Jo hadn’t known that. It had seemed a little obvious, but she liked knowing it for certain. She’d taken Jo March to heart. That incredible strength. When she went into the courtroom, she kept the picture clearly in her head of Jo March taking on the whole world. Though on the inside she’d always felt more like Beth, the quiet, shy one.

  “You’d sit in her lap,” Fred sipped his beer to drag out the story. “The two of you would just glow. You look so much like her, it’s hard to credit. You partly got your daddy’s coloring, but everything else you got from your mama.”

  “Why did she go? Why did she leave us?” Angelo’s tight hold on her hand was the only thing that gave her strength to ask the question without her voice breaking. She had a thousand questions for him too, but for the moment all she could do was hold on as tightly as she could and draw stability from his being here beside her. It felt as if she was making some commitment that she wasn’t sure she was ready to make, but she’d have to unravel and straighten that out later. Her past was threatening to overwhelm her and for now all she could do was hold on.

  The guys at the bar all looked at one another, as if no one wanted to speak first. The bar was quiet. Tourists didn’t come to dinner at a place like the Crab Hole and the locals who did wouldn’t be along for a while. With so many hours of sunlight in mid-June, dinner happened later and breakfast earlier than in the winter. For now, it was the six of them on one side of the bar, Fred on the other, and Gerta standing behind Fred leaning casually against his back with her arms over his shoulders. Jo had found out she was older than she looked, in her early fifties, and Fred was, she knew, in his seventies. Whatever was going on there, they looked comfortable together. Clearly the bar would someday be hers and she and Fred and the other locals were fine with that.

  “She faded,” Dan spoke for the first time since asking if Jo was okay while Angelo threw a man half-again his size through the door. His first full sentence since she’d arrived. His deep voice made it a proclamation. The others nodded.

  Carl took over. “I liked her, but Dan’s right. She faded here. Faded until the light in her went out and she had to leave to go find it again. Something in old Earnest broke the day she left. But he could no more leave than she could stay.”

  “She never done divorce him.” Again the deep declaration.

  “One postcard is all Earnest ever spoke of.” Carl inspected his beer then the mussel-shell ceiling as if searching his memory and finding nothing else. “Sent it the day she left. Jes’ to let him know she were alive. Maybe said something about goin’ to feed kids in Africa or somethin’. Don’t quite recall. No return address. Postmarked at Seattle airport.”

  Jo looked over at Angelo. His mother was so alive, so vital, so present. She’d been and clearly still was such a force in Angelo’s life. What would that be like?

  Well, that was something she’d never know.

  Chapter 28

  Over Fred’s protests, Jo had settled the bar tab, though it wasn’t too bad. Her father used to pay it off once the fishing season income started rolling in. Knowing he was dying, he’d sold the Eloise, “Which came as close to killing him as your mother leaving. Then he started into paying his tab monthly, makin’ the rest of us look bad.” Bernie, of course.

  So, that was done. One less thing for her to worry about was all she could think. They’d already cremated him. Tomorrow evening the new owner
was going to take them all out on the Eloise and scatter the ashes. She hadn’t committed to that, but she hadn’t said no either.

  She had promised she’d come back through before leaving town. Still holding her hand, Angelo walked with her as she headed up Young Street, then Warren Street to her father’s house.

  “What day is this?” Jo’s brain had already become scrambled by the events of the last two days. “Sunday?”

  “Sunday,” Angelo confirmed.

  “How could you leave the restaurant?”

  Angelo laughed and shook his head, “I don’t really know, I just had to. I wondered about that on the flight up, but some part of me must have known it would be okay, even if I wasn’t thinking very clearly. Manuel can run the restaurant as well as I can. Apparently Graziella has had her eye on someone for front of house help, and she’s going to do a trial this afternoon. My mother loved your idea, so she’s going to be filling in for Eugene. There is no way I would ever have thought that up. How did you?”

  Jo shrugged. She noticed the gesture was very unlike herself, but was one she saw on Angelo all the time. What other influences was she picking up from him?

  “It simply made sense. Your mother is charming, a brilliant cook, and you clearly love each other so much that you can barely stand it. So, of course, she’d want to be with you.” Now why had she phrased it that way? Of course, his mother would want to help him. But that’s not what she’d said. Nor what she’d thought. “Want to be with Angelo.” Why did that phrase feel as if she were speaking of someone other than his mother? She pulled her flannel shirt tighter against the back of her neck.

  Angelo inspected the sky which had briefly eased from misting to merely humid. With the temperature in the sixties it only dampened the air, rather than being muggy. He looked back down, apparently he hadn’t found anything up there to help him find a response to that.