Are You Ready?

by Amanda Hearty

  Ross arrived back from the bar with their two pints of beer.

  ‘So let’s get the whole single dating chat and stories out of the way, Sarah. We are both in our thirties and—’

  ‘Our early thirties,’ Sarah interrupted.

  ‘OK, we are both still clinging to our twenties,’ he laughed, ‘and dating is hard, and we have been out there and got our dating stories, so what are your best and worst?’

  Sarah did not know where to begin. She had been on dates with everyone from guys who pretended they were younger, to boys who pretended they were older, richer, and even foreign! But a fake French accent hadn’t been as bad as her last boyfriend.

  ‘Well, the last guy I dated was tall, blond, and an avid soccer player. He was very attractive and knew it, but was fun and a great laugh, too. He was great at planning unusual dates – as long as they were not on Saturdays, when his football team played. But suddenly our meetings started to become shorter and less interesting – a coffee here and a DVD there – and I knew something was up. And then one night, after soccer training, he said we were not suited. I was pretty shocked as we had grown quite close, and I was starting to plan a weekend away. He told me that we had to break up, that he did not see a future with me. When I managed to gather myself together I asked why, and he said we didn’t have the, and I quote, “X-Factor”! I almost choked on my drink. I started laughing, thinking he was doing a Simon Cowell impression, but then he said he wasn’t, and that although he was a fan of the TV show, he was being serious. He was surprised that I hadn’t suspected we were going to break up. Had I not guessed something was wrong when he had not asked me to come and watch him play football at the weekends?’

  ‘Why? Was he a professional player?’ asked Ross.

  ‘Professional? He played for the third team of a fifth-division local club. He was so full of himself, expecting me to be upset that I hadn’t had the honour of watching him kick a ball around for hours.’

  ‘OK, well that guy does sound like a creep.’ Ross laughed. ‘I have tons of dating stories from America. As you know, New York is the dating capital of the world! I’ve been on dates with girls on every diet possible, girls who will eat but not swallow their food; others who will swallow but then excuse themselves to the bathroom for half an hour after; girls who won’t eat but just want to go to oxygen restaurants; and girls who will eat but just not stop! I’m telling you, dating and eating is a nightmare for me.’

  ‘Well, trust me,’ Sarah started to slur, ‘I love food, big time.’

  After a few more drinks, and more bad dating stories, Sarah knew she had to go home, but first there was the walk there, which was full of slow and long kisses, and a plan to meet for dinner on Friday night. And as she walked up the stairs and noticed her mother’s coat in the hall, she thought: Well, at least I’m still able to stay out later than Mum!

  15

  Molly was just taking a tray of spring rolls from the oven when Luke arrived back from the gym.

  ‘They smell yum, I can’t wait to eat them all.’ He laughed, hugging Molly, while attempting to grab them from the hot tray.

  ‘They are not for you, silly, they are for Ali and Sarah, and they will be here soon enough.’

  ‘What do you mean? Why are they coming over?’ Luke asked, the look on his face growing cold.

  ‘Luke, I told you during the week that on Saturday night the girls were coming over to the house for a bottle of wine and some light food, and that we were going to go into town later.’

  ‘You never did. Why are you doing this? I barely see you any more, what with all your cooking and baking and stuff. And every weekend you are either working or trailing around the country for ingredients and ideas. I mean, I thought at least tonight we could hang out.’

  Molly put the hot tray down and closed the oven door. ‘Luke, I’m so sorry, but I thought I had told you. The girls are arriving soon, so it is too late to cancel. I really am sorry. Why don’t we do something exciting for the whole day tomorrow? Like a picnic to Malahide or Glendalough?’

  Luke was silent, before finally nodding. And as he turned to leave the kitchen Molly swung him around and kissed him, and before he could say anything else rammed a spring roll into his mouth.

  ‘I’m sorry, Luke. I know how supportive you have been, but tomorrow I’ll make it up to you, I promise. Now, no more feeling sorry for yourself! Go meet the lads for a drink, I’ll text you later and maybe we can meet up in Leeson Street or something.’

  As Molly uncorked some New Zealand wine and got out some of the fancy Vera Wang china plates she kept for ‘good use’, she worried about the small fight with Luke. She knew it had been tough for him. At the moment she was working crazy hours – early morning in the bakery, and often late nights as she tried to cram cooking lessons into her day also – but she just needed to do it at the moment, to get her career and life back on track. It was so hard to explain this to Luke, as he worked regular hours, and was not that passionate about his career in insurance. He made good money and that was enough to satisfy him. Also, as Luke was helping her pay her share of the apartment rent, and supporting them most, she found it difficult not to just go along with whatever he wanted to do. Anyway, he was great and did love her, he just needed time to adjust. She couldn’t think about it any more tonight though, as she had heard a car pull up outside their house and knew the girls had arrived.

  16

  ‘So, Sarah, tell us what this Ross guy is like. How was the dinner date?’ squealed Molly, as she opened another bottle of wine and cranked up Beyoncé on the stereo.

  ‘It was great, very relaxed and casual, and just so funny. We went to ITSA4 for dinner – it is so yum there – and we finished with drinks in Sandymount Village before sharing a taxi home.’

  ‘Whose home did you go to?’ Molly laughed.

  ‘We both went home separately, actually, Molly. I might have been drunk on both dates, but not that drunk. It’s too soon for that. But I must admit I think I’m really falling for him. It’s early days, but I like him.’

  Molly was so glad for Sarah; she had always been with losers, or guys who just broke her heart, so it would be nice to see her happy and madly in love.

  ‘It would be great to finally meet someone and get out of that crazy dating scene.’ Sarah laughed. ‘I mean, when I look back on all the dates I’ve been on! Like your friend from college, Molly, who came across as the biggest player when we met, and spent half our dates listing off the best-looking girls he had kissed, until me and Mum bumped into him at a Barry Manilow concert one night! I should have known he was gay, he was always asking me to swap seats with him, so he could be “in a better light”!’

  The girls laughed for hours about men, dating, old college stories and the latest celebrity gossip. Molly and Sarah knew each other from school, and while they hadn’t met Ali until college, they were all firm friends. They might have very different careers and personalities, but they had great fun together and cared for each other as much as sisters. After two more bottles of wine, and trays of spring rolls and chicken satay, they went on to Renards nightclub, where they met other friends. When Luke and his mates finally arrived about 1 a.m., Molly was relieved to see him make a beeline for her, and as she put her arms around him, he apologized for being so short-tempered earlier. After hours of reliving their school days by dancing to Take That, herself and Luke decided to head off home. In the taxi she fell asleep leaning against him, and thought that as much as she was happy that Sarah and her new man were getting on well, she herself was so lucky to have found her soulmate, and to be out of that awful dating scene.

  17

  Ben was hooking up his PlayStation 2 and inserting Pro Evolution Soccer 7 game into the living room TV, when he saw his mum carrying groceries through the front door.

  ‘Mum, why are you grocery shopping? I thought that you and Dad were heading off to Wexford for the weekend?’

  ‘No, darling, we cancelled that last week. Your da
d and a few of his friends are taking part in some big charity golf competition in the club. So instead we’re having supper and drinks here for everyone after it later on tonight.’

  Ben put down the game. ‘But, Mum, I was having a few of the lads over tonight, we were going to get a take-away and some beers before heading out to town later.’

  Maura kept on walking to the kitchen, and started unpacking the Superquinn bags piled high with breads, pâté, steaks, wines and beers.

  ‘Well, Ben, you will have to go to one of their own houses tonight, as we’ve plans for here.’

  Ben started helping her unpack, mainly as he was starving and dying for a sandwich, but he was annoyed his evening was ruined. Living at home really wasn’t all it was cracked up to be.

  ‘You know, Ben, if you had more money you could afford to buy your own apartment. A bigger salary, like what your father would pay you for working for him, would cover what you would need for monthly repayments.’

  Ben put the bread down.

  ‘Mum, I’m not a child, I know that I’d earn more working for Dad, but I don’t want to. Why can’t you understand that? I’m going to Eddie Rocket’s for a sandwich, at least I can enjoy myself there.’

  Mango squawked and screeched at Ben as he slammed the kitchen door, which rocked his cage.

  ‘Oh, Mango, why can’t you speak in complete sentences and talk some sense into your side-kick?’ Maura asked the bird.

  Later that night, as Ben grabbed his coat and started to head towards the front door and a night out with his friends, he noticed his dad in the kitchen trying to open a bottle of wine. It looked like he was struggling with the cork. Though Ben was annoyed with him and his mother for kicking him out on Saturday night, he thought his dad looked tired and suddenly old in the early-evening light.

  ‘Dad, let me help. Are you OK?’

  ‘Oh, Ben, I must be tired from all that golf, I just can’t seem to get this stubborn cork out.’

  Ben took the bottle and managed to open it easily enough. ‘You need to relax. Slow down, Dad, you do too much.’

  It took patience for Joe O’Connor not to say, ‘and you do too little’ to his one and only son, but it was Saturday night and he didn’t want to upset Ben as he left the house.

  ‘Don’t worry about me, Ben. You go out and meet a nice girl. That would make your mother so happy. Imagine her planning a wedding!’

  The two O’Connor men laughed at the idea of Maura planning food, music and a guest list.

  ‘No doubt Mango would be the ring bearer,’ Ben joked, and Joe roared with laughter.

  It was fun to just relax and enjoy time with his son. Joe often felt that Ben could no longer do that as he was so aware of a talk about the accounting firm looming in the background if they had more than a two-minute conversation.

  ‘I have to go, Dad, and I do promise to look for girls later. But let me open some more wine before I do.’

  ‘OK, son, and as you do let me tell you about the night I met your mother. It was fate …’

  18

  ‘OK, who ordered the Americano pizza with extra pepperoni?’ the waitress shouted over the loud table. Milanos restaurant was packed, and Ben and his group of friends had been lucky to get a table for ten at such short notice.

  ‘Me, I ordered it,’ said Ben and a girl with brown eyes and long dark brown curly hair at the same time.

  ‘What? You did?’ they both said again at the same time.

  ‘OK, your comedy duo routine is great, but I’ve four plates in my hand. So which one of you ordered the pizza?’ the waitress asked again.

  ‘We both did, but let the lady go first,’ Ben finally managed to say, after thinking how weird it was that the only girl he didn’t know at the table had ordered the exact same pizza as him. Could it be fate, like his dad had talked about earlier?

  Laura was an old college friend of Ali’s. Like Ali, she had studied law, but now worked in the human rights area. Laura was obsessed with justice, and she’d spent some of her time volunteering to work with the big Irish aid charities abroad. She wasn’t stunning-looking, but she had great energy, a good figure, and opinions about everything. As Robin was going out that night with the lads, Ali had dragged Laura along to meet some of Robin’s friends. Laura didn’t know many of them, but Ben and herself seemed to hit it off. Hours and many pubs later, Laura and Ali decided to leave the guys to it, and grab a taxi home together. Before they left, Ben asked Laura for her number, and she gave it, even though Ali told her to be cautious.

  ‘We all love Ben, Laura. It is just that he is a bit immature. He is gorgeous – those tall, dark, handsome looks – and he’s fun, and full of life, but be careful. You should have seen him last weekend in Renards, he was all over the girls!’ But Laura gave her number to Ben anyway, who knew what could happen? They had chatted all night and he had seemed gentle, not at all like the tough guy Ali had described.

  As Ben and Robin started walking down Leeson Street later, trying to get a taxi, Robin asked Ben what he thought about marriage.

  ‘Marriage? Well, my parents are very happy, but that’s all I think about it for now. I’m too young to be thinking of rings and all that crap.’

  ‘Crap? Crap?’ shouted Robin, annoyed. ‘You’re a lousy friend, you know that?’ And he started to walk off.

  ‘What the hell’s going on?’ Ben asked. ‘Why are you freaking out? This is crazy!’ Ben actually started laughing.

  Robin turned to Ben as he got into a cab. ‘You need to wise-up, Ben.’

  Ben was shocked and almost shouted at Robin, ‘OK, I guess if it’s the right person marriage is great. I really don’t know what’s got into you, Rob, but I hope you and Ali have a great time in South Africa. Talk to you when you get back.’

  Robin shrugged and closed the taxi door.

  What is wrong with him? Ben wondered. He must be more locked than I thought.

  As Ben walked up the stairs he could hear his parents laughing in their bedroom.

  ‘Hi, you guys are up late!’ he joked.

  His mum looked like she had had a good few glasses of wine. ‘Well, the party only ended an hour ago, and then we were tidying away, and now we are just chatting. You know how we like to chat in bed,’ she replied.

  Joe winked at Ben. Joe was a big sleeper, but as Maura loved to chat in bed he ended up only sleeping half the amount he would have liked. But it kept her happy, and he napped in the afternoon instead.

  ‘So, the Andersons and the Whites are both going to be grandparents soon. Isn’t that great, Ben? One of these days might we be grandparents, too? I can’t wait until you have children of your own.’

  Ben didn’t bother replying, and just wished them goodnight and headed for his own bedroom. His mum had gone mad. Far too much wine! Why did everyone want him to grow up so soon? As soon as his head hit the pillow his last thoughts were not of babies, but of Laura, lovely Laura.

  19

  ‘I need those four reports written up and on my desk by tomorrow morning,’ Mary, Ali’s boss, announced to her at 5 p.m. ‘Owen wants to see them before we meet with the clients tomorrow.’

  Ali had been swamped with work all week, and it just kept on building up. Mary had given her lots extra to do, obviously in the hope that Ali would have to cancel her holiday, but no way was that happening, Ali thought. Just because Mary was an old sad bossy spinster who never went anywhere, that did not mean Ali had to be the same. Hell would freeze over before she would cancel any time off. She didn’t mind the extra work, but giving her so much at once, when she was getting ready to go on her holidays, just wasn’t fair.

  Ali had always been interested in law at college. She thought wistfully about the dreams she’d once had of being a barrister and standing up in court. But the training had been too expensive and, besides, you needed connections, and as her dad was a farmer and her mum a local primary-school teacher, they were not any help. So instead she chose to work as a solicitor. And even though connections s
till helped you in the solicitor business, she was a good worker and had managed to get a job in a firm, and even though her boss rarely spoke to her, apart from barking work orders, it was fine. She still dreamt of fighting for the poor man’s rights, but for now she had to settle for at least having a job in the legal world, even if she was just dealing with wealthy South Dublin fat cats and their boring property issues all day long.

  She was trying to print a document and type an email at the same time when her computer froze for the tenth time that day.

  ‘God, why can’t this stupid computer handle doing more than one thing at a time? It’s like a man.’

  She hadn’t meant to say it out loud, but she had, and before she knew it she heard Mary laugh. But as she turned around to join in she saw Mary become poker-faced again, and grab her shapeless tweed coat to go home for the evening, leaving Ali to work late. Ali couldn’t believe she had seen Mary’s stern head-mistressy face smile for once. She couldn’t ever recall seeing her laugh or smile before. Mary was always too busy looking cross, fixing her hair back into a bun, or just making Ali feel unwelcome. Well, at least I know she is not a complete robot, Ali laughed to herself.

  20

  Days later, Ali was literally sitting on her suitcase trying to make it close.

  ‘What is the story with all your luggage, Ali?’ Robin asked in amazement, looking at the bikinis, skirts, T-shirts and sundresses thrown around their spare room.

  ‘I don’t know what to say. I can’t stop packing things. Help!’

  Robin picked up a pair of cream beaded flip-flops. ‘Well, I’ve never seen you wearing these, so don’t bring them.’

  ‘No. You don’t understand.’ Ali almost shouted as she grabbed the shoes back. ‘They go with the cream Zara dress I’m bringing. I need those shoes.’

  ‘OK, what about this handbag? It’s just taking up space in your suitcase.’