by Iverson, Ivy
“He’s coughing really hard,” she said. “And he’s curled up in a ball. His face is so red. I’m scared he’s going to pass out.”
“Tell him to take deep breaths. If he can’t, try putting his head between his knees.”
“He’s been trying to take deep breaths but he can’t because the spasms are getting worse. I think he’ll be okay if the paramedics get here soon.”
“Good,” Dimitri said. “I’m up north but I’ll be there as soon as I can. Please, babe, just hold on. I’m so sorry.”
“I know,” she said. “I’m so scared. Are you sure they won’t be back again?”
“Yes,” Dimitri said. “The gunshot would have scared them off but if it makes you feel better, there’s a panic room attached to the closet in my room. Press the button on the closet door and it will open. “
“Thank you,” Carmine said. There was a long pause and then she said. “I’m in the room. I didn’t close the door, though. I want to make sure the paramedics know where I am.”
“That’s good,” Dimitri replied. “You can close the door quickly if you need to and lock it from the inside. You’ll be safe there, okay?”
“Okay.”
Kaleb hung up the phone. “Rae is leaving now,” he said. “Courtney is in the middle of a test, but she will be there as soon as she can. Nikolay is heading to the hospital.”
Dimitri nodded. “Carmine, Rae is on her way over to you. She’s going to get there as fast as she can, and if she doesn’t get there in time then Nikolay will meet you at the hospital. And I promise you, I won’t hang up until someone is there with you.” He tried to swallow the lump in his throat. He wasn’t going to leave her alone. Never again.
Chapter Thirteen
Dimitri ran into the hospital as soon as he got there, swearing when he realized it was almost five o’clock in the evening. Valov, Nikolay, Courtney, and Rae were in the waiting room when he came in. “How are they?” he asked. “Where’s Carmine? Was she hurt too?”
“Carmine is fine,” Valov said. “She has a few new bruises and she’s pretty shaken but she’ll be okay.”
“She got fucking lucky,” Courtney said. “How could you leave her like that, Dimitri? You know how dangerous it is for people who know you. I always knew you were heartless but this is a new low.”
“She was supposed to be on the way to the airport,” he growled. “I gave her a car with an armed driver that I trusted, one that I will have to fire soon. She was protected.”
“Clearly, not protected enough.”
Nikolay pulled his fiancée into his arms from behind. The action seemed to calm her but not by much. “What’s done is done,” he said. “There is no need to make a scene about it now.”
Dimitri sat down in a chair and covered his face with his hands. “I can’t believe this is happening,” he said. “Where is she? Is James okay?”
“James is stable,” Rae answered. “He was admitted to the hospital for further observation and Carmine is with him now. Only family can visit, though.”
“I’m family,” Dimitri said. I need to see them. What room are they in?”
“Dimitri, no,” Nikolay said. “She doesn’t want you to go in. It would not be a good idea.”
“I need to see them. I have to talk to her and see James…” He needed to see his son. He wanted to make sure that he was all right with his own eyes.
“They are in room 102,” Rae said. “Right through those doors,” she pointed to a pair of black doors. “I’m assuming that you have already gone through security so you should be fine. Just… don’t make a scene, okay? You’re going to be on thin ice as soon as you go in there.”
“It doesn’t help that we’re not the most popular here,” Valov said, raising his eyebrows.
That was definitely the truth. Between the three of them, the brothers had sent more people to the emergency room than Dimitri could count. “I know,” he said. “Thank you.” He took a deep breath, wishing he could quell the hurricane of emotions he was feeling.
He went through the doors and down the hall, following the room numbers to find James’s room. Why were they still in the emergency room if he had been admitted? What did that mean?
James was sitting up, coloring in a small activity pad while Carmine sat in a corner, reading a novel. She looked up when Dimitri came in, her face turning cloudy. “You shouldn’t be here,” she said. “It’s only immediate family.”
“I am immediate family,” Dimitri replied. “I want to know how my son is doing.”
“No, you’re not,” she said, standing up from her seat. “As far as the hospital is concerned, you’re not.”
“Please. I won’t stay long but I have to see him.”
James looked up and gave Dimitri a huge grin. “Dimdim!” he shouted. “Dimdim!”
Dimitri smiled at his son, relaxing. He looked healthy again, and he hadn’t coughed once since Dimitri entered the room. “Hey, James,” he said, moving past Carmine to get a better look at him. “How are you feeling?”
“Dimdim, play,” James demanded.
“I’m afraid I can’t. It is good to see you though.”
James looked up at him, confused.
“Okay,” Carmine said. “You’ve seen him you need to go.”
“Fine,” Dimitri said. “But first tell me are you okay? Have you talked to the police?”
“Yes,” she said. “They took a sketch of the guy I saw. Apparently he works for the owner of the Camelot.”
“I told you it wasn’t safe for you there.”
“Well it apparently wasn’t safe for us at your house now was it?” she snapped.
“I’m sorry, Carmine,” he said. “I should have done a better job protecting you.”
She shook her head. “I never should have come to Maine. Now get out of here. You need to leave now.”
But just as he turned to do so, the doctor came in. “Good news. A room opened up in the children’s wing and we can move him there tonight.” His politely cheerful expression quickly became a scowl when he saw Dimitri. “What are you doing here?” he demanded. “What part of immediate family don’t you understand?”
Dimitri clenched his jaw, barely able to keep from retorting that he was immediate family. “I just needed to know how they were doing.”
“I suggest you leave,” he said. “I know who you are, Mr. Tonov. You’re the reason why our hospital is almost always filled up.”
So that was why they hadn’t moved James yet. They were practically full and putting extras into the emergency room to spend the night. “That is not my fault, doctor,” he said. “This hospital is severely understaffed and has been for a long time.”
“Our staff would be better suited to meet the needs of many if you didn’t keep filling up the emergency room on a regular basis with your outdated intimidation tactics.”
“I hardly fill it up on a regular basis,” Dimitri said, balling up his fists. “And many of the people I bring here are the victims of those I use my socalled intimidation tactics on. You really think they all just tripped and fell down the fucking stairs?”
“Dimitri, calm down,” Carmine said. “James is in the room.”
He took a deep breath as he looked at James who was watching him curiously. Giving him a tight smile, “Take care of yourself, little man.”
He stalked out of the emergency room and into the waiting area where the others were sitting. “He’s getting a room in the children’s wing now,” Dimitri told everyone. “He seems to be doing well.”
“Good,” Rae said. “We were just about to go home. Do you need a ride?”
Dimitri shook his head. “Thanks, but I have my own car.”
She nodded and grabbed Courtney’s hand. The two of them left, leaving the brothers alone. Valov clapped his hand on his brother’s back. “Get some rest, okay?” he said. “There is nothing more you can do here.”
Dimitri nodded. He knew that but the thought of going home filled him with dread.
He didn’t want to see the damage done to his home, nor did he want to see the spot where Courtney and James had been shot at. He bid goodbye to Nikolay and Valov, saying he would leave in a moment and that he just needed to go to the bathroom and collect himself.
Once they were gone, he turned to Kaleb. “You should go visit Ian. I’m not ready to leave quite yet.”
“Are you sure?” Kaleb asked. “Maybe you should come up with me. I don’t like the thought of you being alone here.”
“I can take care of myself. Everyone goes through security and there’s plenty of other people around. I don’t want to cause any more trouble tonight, especially for Ian. I’ll get a book or something from the gift shop and then get something to eat. Go on. Be with your son.”
Kaleb nodded reluctantly and then left to go to the children's wing. Even though the parents of patients in the children’s wing didn’t have to abide by the visiting hours for the rest of the hospital, he still didn’t get to see his son enough.
Why does it feel like I’m hurting so many people just because of my profession? Dmitri asked himself. Probably because for the first time in years, he was acknowledging that he was.
In the gift shop, Dimitri bought a small, leather bound journal and a box of disposable pens. He couldn’t help but admire some of the items in there, including a bright red dress perfect for a nice dinner. He thought about Carmine wearing it as he took her to the Lucerne Inn for a night out, with her hair done up, and wearing bright red matching lipstick. She would look sexy as hell and he felt himself get slightly aroused at the thought of it. He would pamper her and spoil her rotten in a heartbeat if he was allowed to.
But you’ll never be allowed to. You don’t deserve that. The thought sobered him as he paid for his journal and pens. He needed to let that dream go because he knew it would never happen.
In the cafeteria, Dimitri found a relatively quiet table in the corner and sat down with his dinner and a cup of hot tea. He ate his meal, thinking everything over. The thoughts seemed to dance around in his mind, churning around too quickly to let him process them all. He wanted Carmine so badly and he wanted to be a father to James.
Despite what Carmine thought, she and James needed him. And he needed her. He picked up one of the pens, opened up his new journal and began to write as he finished his food. His primary school teacher would have been proud to know that he still used a journal to process his thoughts.
He wrote about how much he cared about Carmine. She seemed to have some sort of hold on him and he realized that he didn’t want it to go away. She was a liability and a big one and she knew it. But damn, he wanted her. He wanted her more than he wanted any other woman before. And even though he never thought he would have kids, he wanted James, too. He wanted to give him the childhood he never had.
He couldn’t start over. Not now. He didn’t know how. He had embraced a life of crime while his brothers struggled to break free of it. It was all he knew, all he wanted… until now.
He wanted Carmine. No, he needed her, like he needed air to breathe and food to eat. Nothing was complete without her. Oh god, he needed her so badly…
No! I can’t start over! I can’t. Dimitri scribbled out the last few sentences, scowling. He couldn’t do anything else. He had no experience. Crime was his life. He wasn’t good enough for legitimate work. He would never succeed.
He needed to forget about Carmine and James and move on, maybe move again, to some place else. Hawaii, perhaps. He heard the corruption there was intense. It would be fun to stir up some trouble.
Chapter Fourteen
When Kaleb found Dimitri two hours later, he was sitting up in his chair, his journal still open, his pen lying half-open to his page. He was the only one left in the cafeteria since it was near closing time.
Kaleb approached him quietly. Even though Dimitri usually didn’t make a habit of sleeping upright, it had been a long day and anything was possible. “Boss,” he whispered. “It’s time to go. Let’s go home.”
Dimitri opened his eyes, completely awake, much to Kaleb’s surprise. “Kaleb,” he said, his voice unnaturally calm. “How is Ian?”
“He’s good,” he said, and then hesitated. “He made a new friend today. A recent admission named James.”
Dimitri smiled. “I’m glad to hear it.”
Kaleb sat down in the seat across from him. “Is everything okay?”
Dimitri hesitated and then nodded stiffly. “Yes. Everything is perfectly fine.”
“Okay,” Kaleb replied, knowing it wasn’t. “You want to get out of here? I think we both need some sleep.”
Dimitri nodded and stood up. He grabbed the journal and the pens and walked with Kaleb to the door, heading to the exit. Kaleb kept glancing at him, unable to keep from worrying. It felt like Dimitri was in a trance the entire time. But it was probably nothing. After all, he had much to think about and a very important choice to make.
***
The next morning, Kaleb got up at five, like he usually did, and checked the video surveillance for disturbances that might have occurred in the middle of the night despite the heavy security system he had put in place. He frowned when he saw Dimitri in the living room, his head in his hands.
Usually his boss wasn’t up for another hour. After checking to make sure that was the only oddity, he walked out into the living room. “Dimitri?” he called out, approaching him slowly. “Everything okay?”
Dimitri picked his head up and stared at him. His eyes were bloodshot and he didn’t look as if he slept at all. “Shut it down. Shut all of it down.”
“Boss?”
“Just do it,” he said. “I’m done. I’m done with all of it.”
Kaleb nodded and smiled. “Right away, Boss.”
Chapter Fifteen
Carmine looked at James sleeping peacefully and smiled. One of the night nurses had brought her a pillow and a blanket, but she had still spent an uncomfortable night in the chair by his bed. Definitely worth it though.
There was no way she was going to leave her son. She stood up and stretched, just as an orderly came in with food for both of them. She smiled at her son and looked down at the standard breakfast platters with toast, eggs, and fruit with coffee for her. It was definitely better than some of the hospital breakfasts she had as a kid.
As she sipped at her coffee, a doctor came in, one she hadn’t seen before.
“Carmine?” he said, looking at her.
She nodded. “Yes? Is something wrong?”
“No, not at all. I’m Doctor Collins. I’ve been in contact with your cardiologist in DC and he asked me to check on you when he gave us James’ medical history. He wants to know how you are doing.”
“Oh, I’m fine,” Carmine replied. “Just a little shaken up is all.”
“And?’ he asked, eyebrows raised he glanced down at her chest.
“Shaking her head, “No attacks or tremors. I’m as healthy as a horse.” She gave a nervous laugh.
“Glad to hear it. If you do start feeling unwell again, please let someone know. This is a stressful time for you right now what with the break in and then your son, we want to make sure you are okay, physically as well as emotionally.”
“Thank you for your concern, doctor, but I’m okay. Really.”
“Your doctor said you were refusing treatment,” Doctor Collins continued. “I don’t think that is wise. Your condition will just get worse without treatment. If financials are an issue, there are grants and loans for your situation.”
“I’ve applied to them all but the money is simply not in the budget at the moment. I’ll seek treatment after James completes his current treatment plan.” She forced a smile. “I promise.”
Doctor Collins looked skeptical but nodded. “Well, have a good day, Carmine. If you need anything, let one of the nurses know.”
“I will and thank you.”
After the doctor left, Carmine sipped her coffee, just as James was waking up. He rubbed his eyes sleepily
and turned over, not ready to face the world of the awake just yet.
An elevenyearold boy wearing Spiderman pajama bottoms and a grey sweatshirt stuck his head in. He looked like a ghost of a healthy kid with his bald head, no eyelashes or eyebrows but he grinned when he saw her. “Hey,” he said, his voice quiet so he wouldn’t disturb James. “Just wanted to tell you that there’s going to be a Disney movie marathon in the lounge today and you and James are invited.”
Carmine smiled. “Thanks, Ian. “We will probably get discharged today, but we’ll definitely visit for a little bit.”
“Cool,” Ian replied. He hesitated and then said, “Hey, I don’t suppose you saw a big guy with dark hair and a Russian accent downstairs yesterday, did you?”
She raised her eyebrows. “I saw three,” she said. “Triplets. Why?”
He shrugged. “I was just curious. Usually Uncle Dimitri visits me when my dad does, but he didn’t come up yesterday. Dad didn’t say where he was, but he was acting kind of funny.”
I’m sure he was. “Is your dad’s name Kaleb?” she asked.
He nodded. “Yeah,” he said, grinning. “How did you know?”
So this was Kaleb’s son. No wonder he had seemed sad when he talked about his son. “I met your father,” she said, trying to get over her shock. “He loves you very much.”
Ian grinned again. “I know. He’s pretty cool. Well, see you.” He waved and then was gone, leaving Carmine to her thoughts.
Uncle Dimitri? What happened to no attachments means no liabilities? He probably visited often if he went with Kaleb every time to visit Ian. And Ian seemed to like him quite a bit if he was asking after him.
Maybe he would be good for James. He could never be seen in public as his father, of course, at least not while he was in this particular treatment program. But maybe they could arrange times to meet in private so they could at least see each other…