by Iverson, Ivy
What was she thinking? Even if Dimitri would agree to that, it would confuse the hell out of James and would probably cause all of them more pain than it was worth. Besides, Dimitri’s criminal empire was in Maine, while her life was in DC. It couldn’t happen. Ever.
Her reputation would be ruined if it ever got out that her son’s father was a dangerous criminal. If she had any hope of going back to work, it made no sense to continue having a relationship with Dimitri. So why did the thought of never seeing him again make her want to cry?
Chapter Sixteen
Dimitri arrived at the hospital that afternoon after a long morning of ordering terminations of everything he had, wiping everything clean. The thought of having no income running at any given point still made him cringe, but he made the right decision.
A fresh start was what he needed if he had any hope of getting Carmine back, and being a father to James. He went to the nurse’s station and asked what room Carmine and James were in. He had tried calling her, but her phone went straight to voicemail
“Are you a relative of the family?” the nurse asked, frowning at Dimitri.
“No. I’m a friend of Carmine’s. I just want to visit her and deliver some news.”
“I’m sorry,” she said. “But unless you are on the approved visitors list, I can’t tell you what room she is in.”
Dimitri nodded, clenching his jaw. He should have figured as much.
Kaleb pushed him gently aside. “Well, I’m here to visit my son, Ian, in room 305. And Dimitri is definitely on the approved visitors list for him.”
The nurse pursed her lips and then tapped a few keys on her keyboard before nodding and handing both of them visitor’s passes. “Have a nice day,” she said tersely.
Dimitri smiled coolly. “Same to you,” he replied as he pinned the pass to his pocket. “Sometimes I wonder if it’s my reputation or my accent that makes people dislike me.”
“Give her a break,” Kaleb answered. “She’s probably been working for ten hours straight and it was clearly a ruse to get around the very necessary and logical policy.”
“Whatever,” Dimitri muttered.
“I hope this isn’t the attitude you’re going to have when you’re around Carmine. She’ll throw you out on your ass, reformed criminal or not.”
“Isn’t it a little early to be calling me reformed? Two hours ago, I was still leading the largest criminal empire in Maine.”
“Do you have any intention of going back to that life?” Kaleb asked, raising an eyebrow.
“Of course not, but let’s not pretend that I was able to change my habits completely with a few phone calls. It will be a long time before I’ve fully changed.”
“Maybe not as long as you think. After all, you do have a good motivation.”
Dimitri smiled softly. “That I do.”
They rode the elevator up to the children’s wing. When the doors opened, nurses ran down the hall in the direction of the lounge. Kaleb immediately tensed beside him and swore. “Ian,” he said.
James, Dimitri thought.
Both men broke out into a run following the nurses to the lounge where a crowd of kids were milling around. The sounds of Mulanwas coming from the television, long forgotten as they crowded around a collapsed body. “Ian!” Kaleb shouted, grabbing his son into a hug.
Dimitri looked around, trying to find James and Carmine. His eyes trailed to follow the sound of a child’s wail and he saw James crying in the arms of a wideeyed older kid.
“Mommy!” he screamed. Dimitri looked back to the crumpled form that was now being placed on a stretcher. “No,” he whispered.
He pushed aside some of the kids and saw Carmine on the stretcher just as she was being carted away. He followed the nurses. “What happened?” he demanded.
“Do you know this woman?” one of the nurses asked.
“Yes, she’s my…” he swallowed the word girlfriend. He couldn’t make any assumptions just yet. “She’s my son’s mother,” he said. “What happened?”
“She’s had a heart attack,” the nurse said as the elevator opened. Dimitri pushed his way in with them before anyone could stop him. “Do you know if she was on any medication or has any medical conditions?” she asked. “Medical history of heart disease or failure?”
“No,” Dimitri said. “I don’t know. Her son has congenital heart disease.”
The nurse nodded. The elevator doors opened and the stretcher was rushed through. “Sir, I’m going to ask you to stay back,” the nurse said. “You need to let us do our job.”
Dimitri swallowed, but his mouth was dry. He watched mutely as they rushed Carmine away into a nearby room. He wanted to go in there and push past the nurses and doctors to see her, but fear kept him where he was. If he went in there, God knew what would happen if he got in the way and he didn’t want to watch her die. She’s not going to die! You didn’t rip apart your entire life just for her to die!
He paced around the hall, running his hands through his hair as he tried to calm down and force back the panic rising in him. He needed Carmine. If she died then there was no point in him living. She was his entire life. Her and James….
James!
He took the stairs back up to the children’s wing. He needed to find James and comfort him somehow. At least he would be of some use up there instead of pacing a hole in the ground down there.
When he came back up, many of the kids in the lounge were trying to focus on the movie again. Kaleb and Ian were off to the side, comforting James. Ian looked at the younger child, his hairless brow furrowed in concern. “She’ll be fine, you’ll see,” he said. “Let’s just watch the movie, okay, James? Or if you want, we can go back to my room and play a game.”
Kaleb stood up when he saw Dimitri approaching. “You know anything, Boss?” he asked as they moved away from the boys.
Dimitri shook his head. “They’re taking care of her right now. She had a heart attack.”
“I’m so sorry.”
Dimitri nodded. “How is James right now?” he asked rubbing his eyes. “He looks calmer at least.”
“Ian is able to distract him well,” Kaleb replied. “But mostly I think he is confused and misses his mother more than anything. He exhausted himself out by crying.” He glanced at the two boys and then turned back to Dimitri. “He really needs a father right now.”
Dimitri nodded and went to where the two boys sat. James was staring blankly at the TV screen, his eyes half closed. Dimitri knelt down next to him. Ian smiled at him and moved out of the way. “Hey, James,” Dimitri said awkwardly. “How is it going?”
James looked at him blankly. “Dim dim,” he said.
“Yeah,” Dimitri said. “That’s right. You’re going to be okay, you know that?”
He continued to look at him with that blank stare and Dimitri wasn’t sure if he even understood him. Then he nodded. “Okay,” he said. Dimitri smiled and stayed seated on the ground, watching his son. It’s going to be okay.
Chapter Seventeen
Carmine woke up, confused and thirsty. Her chest was sore for some reason, and she felt a pinching in her arm. She blinked and her surroundings slowly came into focus. She looked around at the bland hospital room, confused. When she looked down at the IV in her arm, understanding slowly dawned.
“Thank god, you’re awake,” an accented voice said.
She looked over to see Dimitri sitting in an uncomfortable chair. There were dark circles under his eyes and his shirt was wrinkled, which was unusual for him. “What are you doing here?” she asked. “What happened?”
“You had a heart attack,” he answered. “They had to restart your heart.”
“Oh my god.” She covered her face with her hands. She knew there was a risk of that without taking medication but she had been so careful with her diet and exercise, she thought she would be all right. “Where’s James? Is he okay?”
“He’s okay,” Dimitri replied. “He misses you and he’s confused about why he can’t
see you, but we’ve been keeping him distracted.” He held his cell phone up. “He’s sleeping right now. Kaleb will text me when he wakes up.”
Carmine nodded, relieved. Then she remembered that he wasn’t supposed to be here in the first place. That she was never supposed to see him again. “What are you doing here?” she asked. “I told you to stay away.”
“I know but I can’t live without you, Carmine, or James. He’s my son, and I…” he swallowed, “I love you.”
She shook her head. “We’ve been over this, Dimitri. I can’t have you around him. And he would lose his place in the program if people knew that you were his father.”
“I can stay in Maine until his treatment is done. I’ll need some time to sell the house anyway.”
Carmine closed her eyes and shook her head. “Wait, Dimitri, what are you talking about? Selling your house and moving down? There’s no way you’ll be able to restart your enterprise in DC after you up and left. Too many people would shut you down as soon as you came in, and I’m a prosecutor. I can’t carry on a relationship with you.”
“I know. But I’m not planning on creating an empire again.”
“Then I don’t”
“I’m done with it, Carmine. All of it. I had come to the hospital to tell you that but you had collapsed. I’ve shut down all of my operations. My house is already on the market. I’m begging you to let me back into your life.”
Carmine swallowed. “You…. you did what?” she whispered. “That was your life.”
“You and James are my life now that is, if you let me be part of yours.”
Carmine blinked, trying to make sense of everything that was going on. “I… can I think about it?”
“Of course,” Dimitri replied. “But please know that I’ll do whatever you want me to.”
She swallowed. She couldn’t match up this desperate, tired, and incredibly sweet man with the cold but charming person she had slept with all those years ago, or the conflicted one she had been spending the last few days with.
“I don’t know what to think,” she said. She rubbed her forehead, feeling a headache coming on. “This is all so much at once. How long was I out? How long have you been here?” She looked at his disheveled appearance. “Have you even slept?”
“You’ve been heavily sedated for the last two days while they’ve been monitoring any damage to your heart,” Dimitri replied. “The stress you’ve been under hasn’t been good for your congenital heart disease.”
“Two days…” and then the rest of what he said registered. “Dimitri”
“I understand why you didn’t tell anyone and it really wasn’t any of my business.”
“I don’t talk about it. Not ever.”
“You have a disease, Carmine. It’s not something to be ashamed of, it’s a part of you, after all. And now you’ll be able to pay for treatment.”
“I can’t take that money from you, Dimitri. Getting it for James is one thing, but for me… it just isn’t right.”
“You can and you will,” Dimitri stated. “I want to do this, Carmine. I want to be there for you in any way I can.”
Her mouth went dry. She knew he was telling the truth and she had no idea what to think. She wasn’t comfortable with the thought of taking money from him. It felt like taking advantage of him, even though he didn’t seem to mind.
A few moments passed without either of them saying anything until Carmine said, “I’m a little hungry.”
“I’ll call a nurse,” he replied, reaching for a button. “I’m sure they can get you something to eat.”
“I also need to see James and get the discharge papers.”
“We’ll see what the doctor says first,” Dimitri answered. “They haven’t told me anything yet, but I got the feeling that they won’t want to discharge you yet.”
***
The hospital had kept James in the children’s wing even though he didn’t need more care while Carmine was in the hospital as there wasn’t anyone else they could contact. Other than the one nurse in the elevator, Dimitri had kept the fact that he was the father under wraps.
Now that Carmine was lucid and to remain in the hospital under observation, they wanted to see if they could continue both hers and James’ treatment. “You haven’t been under a doctor’s care in years,” Doctor Collins scolded, “And you should have. At least allow us to do a full cardiac work up on you to determine if there’s been any damage to your heart. It won’t take more than a few days to run all the tests.”
“I can’t,” Carmine stated. “I can’t afford it at the moment. I’ll take better care of myself but it’s just not an option at the moment.”
“Carmine, you need this,” the doctor said. “If you don’t take care of yourself, how will you take care of your son? You could die.”
Carmine shook her head. “I know the risks but I just can’t.”
“I’ll pay for it,” Dimitri said.
Carmine glared at him. “No, you won’t.”
“You need it, Carmine, and I want to do it.”
The doctor turned to him. “I’m sorry, but are you her husband, or boyfriend or…”
“I’m her… friend,” Dimitri replied, avoiding Carmine’s eyes. “And I have the means to cover the cost.”
“He’s not my friend,” Carmine stated. She glared at the doctor. “And I don’t consent to treatment. I want to talk about more affordable options later, but right now, I want to see my son.”
Chapter Eighteen
“I don’t think she trusts me,” Dimitri told Valov and Nikolay. “What should I do?”
They were in the hospital cafeteria for lunch. Dimitri called them after Carmine had kicked him out of her room. He wanted someone to talk to, but Kaleb was having fun with Ian, and he didn’t want to interrupt the quality time father and son were having.
“You just have to be there,” Valov said. “She needs to know that she can trust you.” He turned to look at the young girl beside him, who had the contents of her sandwich all over her shirt. “Use your napkin, Victoria, you don’t want to ruin your clothes.”
She scowled at him. “I’m getting there,” she said. “But thank you for lunch, Valov.”
He smiled at her. “Of course.”
Victoria was one of the atrisk youths that had been part of Valov’s nonprofit program since its beginning. She was now on the Valov’s Kids coed football team, in the band and recently started tutoring some of the younger kids after school.
She and her brother came from a low income, dysfunctional family and Valov paid for the majority of the food she ate even though she was already starting to make money from babysitting. “You know, Dimitri,” she said. “I think you shouldn’t push her too far, because I get super mad when someone pressures me into something.”
“That’s true,” said Nikolay. “You don’t want to pressure her.”
“But she’s going to kill herself,” Dimitri said with a sigh. “She needs treatment. I don’t know what to do.”
“You have to give it time,” Nikolay offered. “Even after Courtney and I started seeing each other, she still didn’t completely trust me for a long time. This isn’t something that comes easily to people who have a history of being hurt by others. And I believe you said that she had problems with her father?”
“Yes,” Dimitri said. “He had problems with loan sharks.”
Nikolay nodded. “It’s going to take time.”
“Also, she should never find out about this conversation,” Valov said. “Women hate it when people tell their secrets, even to his brothers.”
“So true,” Victoria said. “That’s why girls don’t gossip about each other.”
“You’re not in middle school yet,” Valov said. “Just wait.”
Victoria made a face at the thought and took a sip of her water. “You also need to be yourself,” she said. “She already knows you and she won’t know what to think if you suddenly swap personalities.”
Nikolay nodd
ed. “True. Listen to Victoria. She knows what she’s talking about.” He bumped fists with the tenyearold who grinned at him.
“I know you’re frustrated,” Valov told him. “But you can’t rush her. You’re right about her needing the treatment but if you pressure her, then she’ll push back until it is no longer rational. Just like when someone pressures you.”
Dimitri nodded. He hated being pressured. “But if I back off too much she might think I’m indifferent. How can I convince her before she’s gone for good?”
“Be there for James and for her. But don’t tell her what to do. It will be okay. Really,” Nikolay added.
Chapter Nineteen
“I don’t know what to do,” Carmine said with frustration. “He’s seemed changed. I mean, he gave up his business for us, but I’ve seen him work and I know he doesn’t forget favors.”
“No,” said Rae. “He hasn’t in the past but I have seen him and he does want to change. It’ll take some work to help him get past something that ingrained in him, though.”
“Do you think it’s worth it?” Courtney asked. “Dimitri doesn’t fake anything. That’s why he’s an asshole but I don’t know if the change he’s attempting has fully sunk in yet. He might get moody later on and bored.”
Carmine looked down at James, who was constructing a city out of Legos. For some reason the thought of going back to DC so soon made her stomach churn so she agreed to have James continue his treatment as an inpatient at Eastern Maine even though she discharged herself as soon as the doctors reluctantly agreed to it.
For the last two days, she had been sleeping in the visitor’s chair in his room and she was starting to feel the strain from it but she wasn’t about to ask Dimitri if she could spend a night in his guest room. And he hadn’t offered it, which she was relieved about. “It’s been four days,” she said. “And it doesn’t seem like he’s been getting restless.”
“That’s a good sign,” Rae said. “He’s a ridiculous workaholic, so four days of rest is probably the biggest hiatus he’s taken.”