by Alice Shaw
He slowly entered me again. He thrust forward, still keeping his lips tightly locked around mine. He took it slow, trailing his hand across my body. He really felt me this time.
As soon as he pulled his lips away from mine, I felt it. His cock bobbed inside of my hole. His entire body seemed to freeze up, muscles twitching. “I’m going to cum,” he whispered.
“Cum, babe,” I said, smiling. “Fill me.”
Riley’s mouth dropped open, head tilting forward. The power of his orgasm seemed to knock the weight out of him. He was in a state of ecstasy and shock. Both feelings of pain and pleasure collided within him. I felt quick bursts of warm cum shoot inside of me.
Something else was happening. His orgasm wasn’t stopping, and his cock swelled. He was knotting inside of me, and I was letting him do it. “Yes!” I screamed. “Keep… going!”
I felt my heat intensify. My whole body was a throbbing, aching mess. I needed to cum.
Riley held himself there for minutes, dropping to kiss me. When he could finally slide out, he slid down to the floor. He put his mouth around my cock and forced himself deep. I felt his slippery, warm tongue slide against my shaft until I couldn’t take it anymore.
“Oh, Riley,” I moaned. “Oh, fuck…”
I felt his throat, and I completely lost control. I closed my eyes tightly, holding my breath. Then, as I shot fine gusts of cum, he swallowed and moved his wet palm up and down.
I pressed my hands down against the back of his head. For a brief moment, I was in control. That was all I needed. The sharp pleasure rose until it collapsed in on itself. His hand slowed down. My orgasm shifted back. And I felt that intense hunger drift away.
We were two wet, hot messes. Riley smiled and kissed me one more time before curling his body around mine. “Now, I’m never going to let you go,” he said. “Because I know I can complete you.”
I had heard those words before, back at the ranch. Other guys would kiss the back of my neck after sex. But Riley was different from the other guys. His eyes looked honest and true.
“I know you can,” I said. I hoped to God that I was making a good decision this time.
Chapter Eight
Riley
“Riley, get up. Something happened.” I squinted my eyes open with confusion, tired as hell. Holden was standing above my bed, already dressed. His hair was disheveled. He looked tired too.
“What do you mean? Can’t it wait?” Whatever had happened couldn’t be that serious. Could it?
“I’m serious, Riley. It’s bad. Jared’s here. You should… well, you’ll talk, okay?”
That time, I knew something was up. I opened my eyes and saw Jared standing in the hallway. He wasn’t smiling. I jumped out of bed. “Jared, what happened?” I asked.
Jared covered his eyes with his hands and turned around. “Put on some clothes, dammit. I’ll tell you when you’re ready,” he said.
“Now, Jared,” I barked.
“They towed the food truck. Brady and the guys at the station. It’s going to the yard,” Jared said with a long sigh.
I blinked my eyes three times. The idea didn’t even compute. I touched the side of my head and tried to process the information.
“They what?” I asked. “You’re shitting me.”
I glanced at Holden for answers, but he stood dead still. His eyes were pointing toward the floor. “Fuck,” I muttered. “What reason did they give?”
“Invalid permit,” Jared said. “It’s a small technicality. You hadn’t registered an employee id for Holden. Not to mention, he doesn’t have his food handler’s card yet.”
“Jesus. It’s been, what? Five days?” I grabbed my jeans and threw them on in a fit of rage. I could barely even think. I nearly walked out of the trailer without shoes.
The air was cold outside, but the first slivers of the sun were branching out of the horizon. Overhead, the birds were squawking, ready to fly toward the bay for spare food and trash.
“I’m sorry, Riley. I never meant to fuck everything up,” Holden said, chasing after me outside.
I stopped and turned around. I took Holden into my arms, and I hugged him. Never in my life did I think I’d ever feel emotional about another man. But here I was, hugging someone so tenderly.
“It’s not your fault, Holden. It’s that fucking asshole, Brady. He’s been against me from the beginning,” I said.
“Both of us,” Holden said.
Jared walked up behind us. “He’s against the world,” he said.
I sighed. All of this was my fault. I should have been smart enough to know that I wasn’t safe over there. “Yeah. Well, unfortunately, the law is on his side. I fucked up and didn’t register everything properly. This is going to set me back months,” I said.
“We’ll figure it out,” Holden said. Hope was in his eyes, but I knew this was going to cost me.
“I’ll meet you guys tomorrow,” Jared said. “I have to run to the bar. Don’t worry. We’ll figure this out. I’ll help you out if it comes down to it.”
I nodded. He’d be good backup. If Brady tried to get snippy, I’d probably sock him in the face.
The road stretched out before us, but the bay lights were getting closer and closer. We stayed silent for most of the drive, but Holden kept his hand on my upper thigh.
“Last night,” Holden said, a grin glued to his face. “It was really amazing.”
A smile escaped me. “It was perfect. You are perfect,” I said.
I tried not to stare at him, since I was driving but it was so hard not to. I moved his hand further up, until he was brushing against my shaft. “You’re so hard,” Holden said.
I felt my blood pump directly to my cock. I grew even harder. “You excite me a little too much,” I said, staring at his slender body.
Holden merely smiled, clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth. His cockiness was really fucking turning me on. It was too bad that I had to deal with that asshole cop. He began moving his hand soft and slow over the center of my jeans.
“Stop teasing me,” I pouted.
“I want to get you riled up so that when we get home, you’ll explode,” Holden said.
I laughed out loud. “You’re mean,” I said.
Last night was everything I had hoped for. There just was something about us when we were together. Something about his scent and the way he fit against me… it was just hot.
But as much as I wanted him, there was another side of me that was worried as hell. Was I going to have a baby with him? Me? I was a fucking loser. I could barely even pay my rent, let alone keep a business going. How the fuck was I going to raise a child?
I tried not to think about it. I tried to smile. I truly did. But whenever I looked at my reflection in the mirror, I wanted to turn around and run. I knew who I was. Deep down, I was a bad guy. People like me didn’t deserve shit.
I couldn’t let those thoughts consume me. I had to put all of that on hold when I pulled up to the police station parking lot. Standing outside was Brady. He was chain-smoking a cigarette, and he looked worried sick.
For a second, I almost felt bad for the guy. I knew he had been going through some trouble, unable to live up to the standards he set for himself. But I couldn’t forget who he really was. He was a total asshole, and he towed my whole business.
“He doesn’t look too good,” Holden muttered.
“From what I know, he’s been getting into some bad shit,” I said, shrugging. Maybe it was cruel of me, but I didn’t care about Brady’s problems. He caused way too much grief around here for me to feel empathetic of him.
I stepped out of the car. “Don’t ask me what happened to your truck,” Brady said, flicking the cigarette at the sidewalk. “Pay the fine, Riley. You know the rules. Then, you can go to the yard. Shit, if you pay in cash, I’m sure you could get it back today.”
All I wanted to do this morning was wake up next to Holden. Calmly. Without Jared there. Instead, I had to jump through hoops t
o get my whole business back. Sometimes, it felt like the world was against me.
“The yard is fifty miles from here, Brady. You didn’t see fit to give me a warning first? What’s your deal?” I asked.
I was trying my best to remain calm, but when he let out an arrogant laugh, something inside of me was pushing me to explode. “The law is the law,” he said, issuing me the stock answer.
“Don’t give me that bullshit,” I muttered. “You have a vendetta against me. Admit it.”
“I don’t have a vendetta against you,” he said. Holden stepped out of the car, and Brady’s eyes followed his every step.
“Oh. I get it now. Makes a lot of sense,” I said, laughing out of sheer anger. “I’m a target because you have some weird thing against my boyfriend.”
“Boyfriend?” Holden whispered, looking up at me. I glanced at him, but I was too flustered to answer.
“You’re falling deep into conspiracy theories, Riley,” Brady said.
I had heard all I needed to hear. With my index finger pointing directly at him, I felt my anger get the best of me. “That’s it. I’m telling your wife where you’ve been going every night. She’ll find out about the women, the gambling.”
“Go on then,” Brady said. “It’s not like it matters, anyway.” His voice dropped off.
I quickly realized why he looked like he was in a bind. “She left you,” I said. “Unbelievable.”
Holden took my hand. “We should go. He’s never going to listen to us. There’s no point in wasting our time,” he said.
I felt myself give up. For once, I let myself be out of control. Of course, I hated what Brady had done, but we could get through this. We had to.
“You’re right,” I said. “Let’s go.”
Brady laughed. It was barely audible, but it was still there. I ignored it, beginning to walk with Holden back to the truck, but he was intent on getting in his last word.
“Listen to your boy-toy, Riley,” he said. “I’m sure he’ll make you feel better when you get home.”
I cocked my head, more confused than mad. He was pathetic, and he knew it. Problem was I might have to continue to deal with his pathetic ass for the rest of my life.
“Just stop, Brady. This was my dream. I put everything I had into this.” I stared at him in the eyes, hoping he could find some semblance of humanity inside of himself.
In the end, I got nothing in return. “You put your heart and soul into a food truck? You should be thanking me for intervening. That trash of an idea was destined for failure,” he said, hands planted firmly against his utility belt.
That one hit me hard. I couldn’t even muster up a reply. I felt ashamed. Embarrassed. I hated that Holden had to see me like this. I wanted him to look up to me, or to see me as an equal. Instead, I was looking like a total failure.
I turned around and walked toward the vehicle, but Brady wanted to keep kicking me when I was down. “Does he know about you?” he asked.
“Don’t you fucking dare,” I muttered.
My heart sank into my stomach. It was a blow that I wasn’t expecting to come so soon. Of course he’d go there. It was so obvious. He was there that night. I saw him right before I went in that building.
Of course, he wasn’t a cop back then. He was just some kid I used to see people pick on. I felt bad for the guy, but all of my friends were assholes. That was just my crew back then. They messed with him until he ran to Belleview Bay to become a second rate cop.
There was Brady’s laugh again. That stupid cheese-grin on his face, curling up against his mustache really pissed me off. I didn’t care how many people picked on him. At this particular moment, I loathed the bastard.
Did he know all of what I went through in jail? I was beat. I was called the worst names imaginable. I found out what it felt like to be a caged animal.
“Go on. Get out of here, Riley,” he said. “Get moving.”
I wasn’t going to fight. It wasn’t necessary. I was going to open a restaurant on the other side of the bay. No. I was going to open up multiple restaurants, all across the nation. Then, I’d never have to see that asshole ever again.
Holden’s hand caressed my shoulder gently. He eased the pain within seconds. “It’s okay,” he whispered. “He’s just a jerk. He’s trapped inside his own mental prison.”
I nodded my head slowly and turned toward him. He was right. Brady was a prisoner in a cop’s uniform. Somehow, everything felt a little bit better.
Once we were inside of the truck, I quickly backed out of the parking lot. I parked around the corner and leaned my head back. “Fuck,” I whispered, shaking my head. “Sorry, Holden. I didn’t want you to see any of that.”
Holden was silent, but his hand clutched against mine. “What did he mean at the end of all that, when he asked if I knew about you?” he asked.
His eyes were so gentle and understanding, but I didn’t know how to tell him about who I was. I was such an asshole back then. I lied. I stole. I made the ones I loved turn away from me. How was I supposed to tell him the truth?
“He’s just trying to rile you up,” I said, feeling absolutely defeated.
I knew it was a bad excuse, and Holden knew it too. Somehow, he didn’t press it. He just nodded his head and said, “Okay. I believe you.”
That tore at my heart. To see him put all his trust in me, only for it to be a lie was the worst feeling in the world. It made me feel like my old self again. There I was, lying to the people I loved.
Would Holden turn his back on me like the rest? I hoped to God that he wouldn’t. If he did, I’d never be able to forgive myself. “Well, I guess we’ll go to the yard to get the truck,” I said.
“Yeah,” Holden muttered. He wasn’t looking at me anymore. His eyes were fixed on the dirty window and the streets outside. He was lost somewhere inside of his mind. He probably hated me.
I knew I needed to tell him the truth, but the timing wasn’t right. There was a lot I was running away from. But once I’d get this stuff straightened out, I’d do it.
Once again, I was making excuses. And Holden? He was holding out on hope.
Chapter Nine
Holden
He was lying to me. I knew he was. After we got back from getting his truck out of the lot, I paid the ticket to get my vehicle back. I drove it to the trailer. I was alone and wondering what else he was keeping from me.
I expected too much out of men. I always did this to myself. I’d open up trust, only to find out that they were lying to me. Or worse, they’d just vanish into thin air.
I was doing everything in my power to keep him happy. I even made the sign to his food truck while he was sleeping. It took me hours to get through the design, but I made sure it was beautiful.
Gastro Gourmet. It was a simple, but catchy name. I thought it might work, but now that he had lied, I didn’t even want to give it to him.
I was probably overreacting. I didn’t have anything tangible to worry about, I guess. That’s why I was still there. Well, that, and the fact that I could be pregnant. Maybe. I mean, it was a possibility that I couldn’t rule out. We went crazy that night. I let him knot inside of me.
I couldn’t help but continue to look at my phone the rest of the night. I kept asking myself the question, “What if I made a mistake by coming here?”
Whenever I looked into his eyes, I felt like he had nothing to hide. He was a genuine person. At least, I thought he was. Now, I wasn’t so sure.
The idea that we could be bringing a child into this world scared the ever-living shit out of me. I brought it up to Riley, but he kept telling me not to worry. “Everything will be fine,” he said. “I’m here for the long haul. Okay?”
And then, he’d gaze into my eyes, kiss my cheek and tell me how handsome I was. I didn’t know what to believe anymore. I guess I was starting to get paranoid because we were moving so fast.
I couldn’t leave, not after all I had been through. I had worked too hard just to throw
this all away. Plus, what would I say if I saw my family’s disappointed faces? “Sorry, guys. You were right. Now, I’m pregnant. Can I come back and live with you again?”
No. I couldn’t do that. I just had to suck it up and hope for the best. People did that all of the time… Right?
Last night, I bought a pregnancy test. Before I came back to the trailer, I hid it in my backpack. I didn’t want to tell Riley, especially if there was nothing to worry about. But if the test were positive, he’d have to know and deal with the reality of the situation. We both made this decision. I just hoped he could own up to his end.
On the Sunday of that week, we managed to get all of the paperwork taken care of. All of the ID’s, registration, and the food handler’s test was properly filed and scored. I was an official employee of Riley’s Place. “The name still needs work,” I said, staring at the sheet. He still didn’t know about the sign I made him.
“We’ll figure that out later,” Riley said.
Lately, he had been less enthusiastic than usual. There was a spark of doubt cast in his eye, and I couldn’t figure out where it came from.
The interaction with Brady must have set him off. I desperately hated that he got into our heads. I wanted to turn back time, to travel back to that night at the bay, when things felt so surreal. Brady was a snake, and we bit the apple. Now, everything felt off.
“Frankly, I don’t know why I go on with this,” Riley said. He threw his recipe cards behind him and sighed loudly. Arching his body in a defeated position on the couch, he took off his reading glasses and slung them to the floor,
“Stop that,” I said. “Please.”
“Brady’s right, Holden. It’s a fucking food truck. What the hell was I thinking while coming up with that idea? Why would I ever assume I’d be able to become a first-rate chef? I didn’t grow up around any cooks. It’s not like I’ve ever been to a five star restaurant. I’ll never have my own place. I should just give up,” Riley said.