The Blame

by Park, Nichola

  “Let me check. Yes, level minus 3, space 12.”

  “Thanks, Ana. You’re a star.”

  Great. One call down, two to go. Hopefully she’d be able to get an appointment for Vanessa at the clinic, and then she had to check with Senhor Manuel to see whether the electrician had shown signs of life. She glanced at her watch. The workmen should be arriving within ten minutes. First she’d call the clinic.

  ***

  Okay, this is it.

  Laura took a deep breath and stepped out of the lift. How was their encounter going to be? Would Hugo show signs of embarrassment? Regret? Or would he pretend nothing had happened? Of course nothing had actually happened…

  Oh boy.

  “Laura, good morning.”

  Her stomach did a double flip. She turned to see Hugo and the Human Resources Manager walking towards her.

  “Morning.” She could feel her face flushing.

  “Bom dia.”

  Laura and Sandra air kissed on both cheeks. Then she turned towards Hugo and took his outstretched hand. She looked up at him and their eyes locked for what seemed like an embarrassingly long time. She withdrew her hand from his grip self-consciously, feeling certain that Sandra had noticed their odd behaviour. Fortunately, however, she was already chatting away about her weekend. It took Laura a few moments to calm her thudding heart and tune in to what Sandra was saying as they walked to her office. She smiled and nodded, pretending to be listening closely when, in fact, all her senses were going into overdrive, excruciatingly aware of the tall man beside her.

  They sat down at a small conference table in Sandra’s office and the conversation finally turned to work. Hugo and Laura stared at each other across the table while Sandra searched for a couple of documents on her laptop.

  God, he looks good, she thought. He wore his dark hair, which was starting to recede and go grey at the temples, in a crew cut styled with wax. Years of swimming had broadened his shoulders and kept him lean.

  “By the way, Laura, I had a video conference scheduled for late this afternoon, but it has been brought forward so would you mind if we worked through lunchtime?” asked Sandra, peering over her reading glasses.

  “No, not at all. In fact, that would really suit me as I’d like to get away as early as possible. I have to take my daughter to the doctor.”

  A look of disappointment fleetingly crossed Hugo’s face.

  “Ok, then. We can order a light lunch: some sandwiches or quiche and salad, if that’s all right with you.”

  “Sure, no problem.” Laura booted up her own laptop.

  “Hugo, would you care to join us?”

  “Sure, I’d like to get the safety training schedule defined today.”

  “Fine, that’s settled, then. I’ll ask Ana to take care of it. Now, Laura, what have you got for us?”

  “Well, in a nutshell, the biggest obstacle to our objective of zero accidents is mindset. Unless we can get people to accept the fact that they need to change their behaviour and strictly follow company procedures, we’ll never be able to reduce the number of working hours lost due to work-related accidents.”

  Nods of agreement.

  The rest of the morning flew past as they discussed problem areas and solutions. Laura left the office without having had any time alone with Hugo. She was surprised to find that she actually felt quite relieved.

  ***

  David rose from his chair and walked briskly to the photocopier, a sheaf of papers in his hand. Damn, Joana was already there and by the look of things she would be for some time. What on earth was she photocopying?

  “Trying to do away with our paper stocks, are you?”

  “Well, the more we buy, the better for the pulp and paper industry, right? And seeing that Portugal is a major producer, it’s quite patriotic of me.”

  “Yeah, but bad for your pay check.”

  “Talking of bad, your team took quite a beating this weekend, didn’t it?”

  David groaned and slapped his forehead with the heel of his hand.

  “Don’t you start as well,” he said in mock disgust.

  “Well, it’s only to be expected with that manager. It’s high time he was sent packing. He has no rapport whatsoever with his players,” she said, laying a hand on his forearm.

  Well, well, well, thought David, smiling at her. A woman who can talk intelligently about football. And so easy on the eye, too.

  “Hello, David.”

  He spun on his heel.

  “Laura! What are you doing here?”

  “I need to talk to you. Unless you’re busy, of course.”

  She eyed the other woman coolly and received a pert little smile in return.

  “No, of course not. Come with me.”

  He laid his hand in the small of her back and led her to his office.

  “Does she always take your pulse when she talks to you? She a nurse or something?”

  “What? What are you talking about?”

  “That bimbo you were talking to. The one with legs all the way up to her arse.”

  “Ooh, catty, catty. You jealous or something?”

  And much to her annoyance, she was.

  “Someone should teach her to keep her hands to herself.”

  David laughed. “You know I only have eyes for you.”

  “Yeah, I can see that,” she grumbled.

  “So, what brings you here today? Aren’t you taking Vanessa to the doctor?”

  “Yes, but only at five-thirty so I want to pop round the house first to speak to the electrician.”

  “Did he show up, then?”

  “Well, Senhor Manuel says that he’ll come round this afternoon. Apparently, he went to his nephew’s wedding yesterday and so this morning he was a little worse for wear...”

  David shook his head in disbelief.

  “So before he disappears again, I want to tell him exactly how we want the landscape lighting.”

  “Ok, let me just get the house plans. I have a copy somewhere here,” he said, rummaging in a drawer.

  They poured over the drawing discussing how best to create the effect they wanted with energy efficient fixtures.

  “Right, I’d best get going now. I’ll take these drawings to show him what we want.”

  “Great. What’s for dinner tonight?”

  “Dunno. Takeaway?”

  “OK, I’ll pick something up on my way home.”

  Laura kissed him goodbye.

  “Stay away from that witch,” she warned as she walked out, conveniently missing the irony of the situation.

  ***

  “Hmm, this is delicious,” said Vanessa appreciatively as she nibbled on a chicken wing. “Pai, why isn’t your grilled chicken as good as this one?” she asked innocently.

  “What! How can you say that,” exclaimed David, pretending to be hurt.

  Vanessa giggled.

  “As far as I’m concerned, takeaway means no cooking and no washing up, so it’s definitely better than homemade food,” Laura joked.

  “Can I be excused now? I want to go and have my ice cream in the sitting room so that I can watch Spongebob.”

  “Well, all right,” agreed David. “But don’t make a habit of it.”

  She grabbed a Strawberry Cornetto from the freezer and skipped out of the kitchen, waving them goodbye. David felt a surge of affection rise through him as he watched her receding back.

  God, he loved her so much that he couldn’t bear the thought of anything happening to her. Life was fraught with dangers that could befall young children. And adults, too, he thought ruefully. If anyone knows that first hand, I do.

  He thought back to his university graduation. Instead of celebrating and getting drunk with his friends, he’d had to deal with his mother’s funeral. And a year before that, it had been his father’s. Both dead within a year of each other, and both in their early fifties. Scary. And that left him with the responsibility, and yes, the burden, of bringing up his younger brother, who ha
d acted up for a couple of years till he’d enlisted in the navy. He was currently aboard a frigate, providing ships with protection against Somali pirates.

  Deep down David realized that he had resented, and even blamed his parents for leaving him to shoulder the responsibility of supporting a teenager when he could barely support himself. After all, if his dad hadn’t smoked, he wouldn’t have got lung cancer; and if his mom had had a balanced diet instead of ingesting dubious herbal products, she wouldn’t have developed hepatic cancer.

  It was much easier to believe that disaster didn’t strike randomly, that it could be controlled. Otherwise, where did that leave you and your loved ones? Totally vulnerable.

  “Hey, why so serious all of a sudden? What are you thinking about?”

  “Oh, nothing much. So, the doctor says that Vanessa is allergic to mould. I guess she developed this allergy since we’ve been in this cottage. It is rather damp and this winter has been incredibly wet.”

  “Yes, it could also do with a renovation.”

  “I agree, but we certainly can’t afford it now. Maybe in a couple of years.”

  Laura stood and began to clear up.

  “I can’t wait to move into the villa, which reminds me that we have to go over to Sara’s store to pick out the fabrics for the curtains. Also, the other items we ordered will be here this week.”

  “That’s great. Miguel says that business has been really slow. If things don’t pick up soon, they may be forced to close down the store.”

  Laura shook her head. “Tough times, indeed. Poor things. This is so depressing.”

  “What’s worse is that if the opposing forces keep blocking the necessary state reforms, we’ll never get out of this rut.”

  “Heaven forbid. Anyway, for the time being, I suppose we’re still pretty fortunate, next to most people.”

  David sighed and took her hand. “Come on,” let’s keep Vanessa company before she goes to bed.”

  Chapter 11

  Laura felt exasperated. What did it take to get the message through to these men? This was the second jobsite that she had visited that morning and the results of her walkthrough were virtually the same: a total disregard of the company’s safety guidelines. Clearly, the supervisors weren’t doing their jobs.

  They, of course, didn’t see it that way at all. They were simply working in the most expedient way possible. It was all very well for the bigwigs sitting in their comfortable offices to dream up all these fancy guidelines; they never actually set foot on a worksite, so what did they know about real working conditions? All the deadlines they had to meet, the pressure to be ever more productive. That didn’t leave much time for fiddling about with personal protective equipment, did it? Anyhow, the scaffolding was solid so what did they need harnesses for? And work gloves slowed them down and made them feel clumsy. As for hard hats, they just caused kinks in their hair.

  Laura jotted some final notes on the safety checklist on her clipboard and turned to the young Occupational Health and Safety officer at her side.

  “All right, Daniel, that’s it for today. Let’s get back to the office.”

  She removed her hard hat and stomped her feet to get the grit off her safety boots before getting into the company car.

  “So, what do you think?” asked Daniel as he joined the flow of traffic with barely a look in the rear view mirror.

  Laura resisted the temptation to look back over her shoulder to check the oncoming traffic. She made a mental note to include defensive driving skills in the training.

  “There’s definitely a lot of work that needs to be done before people realize that accidents don’t only happen to other people. For every one serious accident that occurs, there are probably another 600 near misses.”

  ***

  “Workers must be able to automatically identify potential hazards as soon as they enter a building site. They must then inform the supervisors and corrective actions have to be taken at once.”

  “And is hazard identification covered in the training?” asked Sandra.

  “Of course. I’ll send you all the relevant course material this evening for your appraisal.”

  “Good. Well, that wraps it up for today, then.”

  “OK, I’ll be off now if there’s nothing else you need.”

  “No, that’s fine. Oh, hold on a minute. I almost forgot. Hugo wants to go over something with you before you leave.”

  Laura’s mouth suddenly felt dry.

  “Sure. Where is he?”

  “Upstairs, in the boardroom.”

  She took the stairs to the top floor, her safety boots squeaking on the marble steps. She felt breathless and she knew it wasn’t exclusively due to exertion.

  Her feet sank into the thick carpet as she paused to listen at the door of the wood panelled boardroom. Nothing. Was he alone?

  She took a deep breath and knocked. A moment later the door opened and Hugo stood there, his face inscrutable. He stood aside to let her pass, and shut the door behind her. A quick glance round the room confirmed no one else was there, although one end of the large mahogany table was strewn with blue prints, bottles of water and laptops.

  Laura placed her shoulder bag on a chair and turned to face Hugo.

  “Sandra says you wanted to speak to me?”

  Silence.

  “Hugo?”

  He stared at some fascinating spot on the floor, the muscles of his jaw clenching and unclenching.

  “Hugo, is something wrong?” she asked tentatively.

  He reached her in two long strides, took her in his arms and crushed her lips with his own.

  Taken unawares, Laura froze for an instant, hands fluttering about his shoulders.

  Then she yielded.

  He kissed her long and hard until they were both panting when they finally parted.

  “You have no idea how I’ve longed for this moment,” he murmured, his pupils dark and dilated.

  Laura was unable to speak; she felt sure that Hugo could hear her pounding heart. As he embraced her once more, she pressed her palms against his chest.

  “No, Hugo. Someone might come in.”

  Reluctantly, he let her go and ran a hand through his short hair. She tucked her shirt back into her jeans and tried to regain her composure. Strands of hair had escaped from her ponytail and she retied it neatly at the base of her neck. Then she reached out and wiped a trace of lipstick from his face with her thumb.

  “I’d better go now,” she said thickly, picking up her bag.

  “Wait.” He grasped her hand. “You can’t go yet—we have to talk. Have lunch with me, Laura.”

  “No, Hugo, I can’t. Not today. There are things I have to see to.”

  He cupped her face with his hand and traced her jawbone with his thumb. “All right. I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”

  She gave him a tremulous smile and left the room, closing the door softly behind her. She caught the lift down to the garage in a haze.

  I’ve done it, she thought. I’ve actually crossed the line Sara warned me about—the point of no return.

  And to her surprise, it didn’t cause her much anguish.

  ***

  She spent the rest of the afternoon running around town trying to organize the necessary inspections and licences in order to get their utilities connected. Surprisingly, it had all gone very smoothly and quickly, which only added to her elated mood. As she still had some time to spare, she decided to drop by Sara´s store. To pick out the fabric for the curtains, she told herself. She wouldn’t breathe a word about what had transpired between Hugo and her. Only she was bursting to tell Sara how she felt! Actually, there’d probably be no need for that; Sara would undoubtedly be able to tell.

  “Hey, hon, what a surprise.” Sara sounded pleased as she kissed Laura on both cheeks.

  “Hello, Sara. I had some errands to run and I thought I’d drop by for a chat.”

  “I’m glad you did. Your order will be arriving tomorrow. Do you want it se
nt straight to the villa?”

  “Oh, yes please. That’s great. Now all we need to do is decide on the curtains. Can I take the samples home for David to see?”

  “Yes, of course. You must be so excited.”

  Laura beamed at her.

  “Hmm. More than excited. In fact, I’d say that you look positively pleased with yourself.”

  Laura’s grin widened.

  “Uh-oh. Something’s up. What is it? Come on, spit it out!”

  “What?” asked Laura innocently.

  “Don’t you what me. On Sunday you were obviously going through some sort of existential dilemma, midlife crisis or the like. And unless I’m extremely mistaken, which I never am, a third party is involved. Probably a tall, dark and handsome third-party, am I right?”

  “What? Am I that transparent?”

  “You are to me. I know you too well. So what’s going on, then?”

  “Oh, Sara. It’s nothing really. Just a harmless flirtation at work. But it makes me feel like a teenager again. You know what I mean?”

  Sara eyed her shrewdly. “Yeah, I know what you mean,” she answered slowly. “But you do know that you’re playing with fire, don’t you? Because you’re not a teenager anymore, and nothing you do is going to change that.”

  “I know, I know. But it’s not only that. It’s wonderful to feel appreciated—to have someone who really listens and understands.”

  “I thought you already had that—at home.”

  “Yeah, well, lately it’s been in short supply.”

  “Oh, Laura. Have you thought this thing through? About what you expect to get from this relationship? And about the possible consequences? ”

  “I don’t want to think. I’m tired of being responsible and always doing the right thing. I’ve been sensible my whole life and now I just feel like throwing caution to the wind. Just feeling— not thinking!”

  “Look, I’m not judging you. I’ve been there myself. ”

  “What?” Laura’s eyes fairly popped out of their sockets. “Are you saying what I think you’re saying? That you had an affair?” She wouldn’t have sounded more incredulous if Sara had just announced she’d been abducted by aliens.

  “You know little Louisa in our daughters’ class? Her parents got divorced two years ago.”