The Blame

by Park, Nichola

  When he had cleaned her up as best as he could, he led her to the bed and helped her in.

  "I'm just going downstairs to get you a cup of tea and some Ibrupofen, okay?"

  She nodded weakly and sank back into the pillows.

  A few minutes later, David was back with some sweet tea and biscuits.

  "Here, take this pill. It'll take the pain away, but you shouldn't take it on an empty stomach. Have a biscuit or two."

  Laura declined the biscuits but sipped the hot drink gratefully.

  "Are you feeling a bit better now?"

  Laura nodded slowly, still too dazed to notice David didn’t look too good himself.

  "Yes, I think so, but what about ..... " her voice trailed off.

  "Shh. Don't worry about anything now. It's all taken care of. Just try to get some sleep."

  "All right. I feel exhausted. I'm going to try and sleep. Can you sit with me for a while?"

  David stroked her hair gently. "Of course."

  "David?"

  "Yes?"

  "Thank you."

  He didn't reply. He felt dangerously close to tears.

  As soon as Laura had drifted off, David went back into the bathroom and took a long hot shower, hoping that it would wash away the tension and the fatigue that now threatened to overcome him. As he stood under the blast of hot water, he made a mental checklist of what had to be done. Thank God for shows like CSI, he thought. Granted, it was just fiction but, nevertheless, it alerted him to potential pitfalls should they ever come under suspicion

  He put on a tracksuit and bundled the clothes he and Laura had discarded in a bath towel and headed downstairs to the kitchen where he picked up her boots. Arms laden, he struggled with an umbrella as he dashed across the courtyard and unlocked the cottage door. He then dumped his bundle on the floor while he built a fire in the living room. As soon as it was blazing strongly, he fed the items of clothes in, being careful not to kill the fire. When he was satisfied that his goal would be safely accomplished, he let himself out and headed back to the villa. The rain was falling softly but steadily, and would undoubtedly wash away any traces of blood on the Bobcat and the dogs. From the laundry, he retrieved a bottle of bleach and went back to the master suite where he proceeded to make sure that any evidence was eliminated.

  It was almost dawn by the time he had double-checked everything and locked up. Wearily, he eased himself onto the bed carefully so as not to wake Laura up, and promptly fell asleep.

  Chapter 27

  Laura couldn't make out why she felt so sore. She brought a hand up to her face, felt the swollen lip and then it hit her.

  Hard.

  She struggled to sit up, breathless and wild-eyed, making David stir beside her.

  "Laura, it's okay. I'm here. No one's gonna hurt you."

  She sobbed quietly. "Why couldn't it have been a nightmare? Why does it have to be real?"

  "Shh. It was a dream, that's all. A bad dream, but we've made it go away. And we are going to forget all about it. We aren't going to let this ruin our lives. Okay?"

  She nodded slowly. "Do you really think we can?"

  "Sure, we can. And we will. It might not be easy, but we have to be able to. For Vanessa's sake."

  “I don’t know, David,” Laura croaked. She felt like an invisible vice had her by the throat. Her chest would surely be crushed by the weight of the terrible knowledge that was seared forever in her heart.

  David put his hands on her shoulders and said in a firm voice: “Laura, we have no choice. There’s no turning back now. We are committed to the decision we made last night. Do you understand?”

  She nodded weakly.

  He looked at her earnestly. "How are you feeling? Can you get up?"

  "Yes. I'm all right. Just stiff and sore but it'll pass. How does my face look?"

  "Not too good, I' m afraid. We're going to have to come up with an excuse...."

  "We have to pick Vanessa up today. I told Sara that I'd pick her up at around seven this evening."

  "That's fine, it gives us some time to get organized; to put a plausible story together. It's a good job you don't have to go into work tomorrow..."

  His voice trailed off. Her job currently held painful associations for him.

  "David, we have to talk about this."

  "Yes, but it's probably not the best time now."

  "It'll never be the right time, but we have to clear the air between us if we're going to be able to get through this together."

  David took a deep breath. "Why, Laura? Why did you have to do it? I know that things haven't always been fantastic between us lately, but to jump into bed with some guy..."

  "It's not as though I planned it, you know. I guess I was just feeling lonely and in need of someone who was in tune with my way of thinking."

  "Wait a minute. Doesn't the role of the misunderstood spouse usually go to the husband?"

  "Oh, David. I know it sounds like a cliché but maybe that's why they exist. To describe real, everyday things. Maybe it doesn't seem so important to you, but it is to me. Having someone who's on the same page; someone who not only understands our reasoning and actions, but actually approves of them."

  "Meaning that I don't?"

  "Well, that's exactly the problem—the fact that you don't see it. This renovation has really brought out the differences between us. Where I see a challenge, you see an obstacle. Where I see an outrage that must be addressed, you turn a blind eye. And what's more, not only do you not support me, you actually criticize me for all my endeavours. Endeavours that are on behalf of this family!"

  "I know that. Of course I know that. But it's just not worth doing battle over every perceived injustice..."

  "David! We're not talking about perceived injustices here! We're talking about blatant corruption or gross incompetence! When basic utilities that we are paying for aren't up to standard, or when the quality of the products and services that we have paid for aren't up to scratch, how can you just take it lying down? I can't accept that. Nor can I respect someone who does and I need a partner that I can relate to, someone that I feel is my equal...."

  Silence ensued while David took it all in and Laura regained her breath.

  "Well, I'm sorry you feel that way. I never meant to condemn your actions. Ultimately, I know that you're right. It's just that when I come home, I want to be able to relax and enjoy being with my family, and not have to deal with yet another problem."

  "And I don't? But making like an ostrich isn't gonna make things right."

  "I know, Laura, and I' m sorry for not having been there for you all these months. I guess I never really thought about it from your point of view. It just seemed to me that you were always looking for conflicts..."

  "Yeah, right, David, you should know me better than that. That's not who I am. You see, that's exactly what I mean—you just don't understand. There was a time when we were in perfect sync on everything...."

  "We still are on most things, but I see that I have been really unfair and unsupportive of you. Maybe it's a cultural thing. For historical and political reasons, we aren't used to being as proactive and demanding as you. But I promise you that I'm going to try and change."

  She squeezed his hand, grateful that she had been able to make him understand, and sorry for not having tried to explain her feelings to him earlier.

  "What about him? How does that stand?"

  "It's over, David. It was just a one-time thing that failed to make me feel the way I thought it would. Maybe at the end of the day, what this really boils down to is a midlife crisis. The tension between us coupled with a yearning for romance and excitement....”

  “I can’t believe that you’d take this step so lightly, though. After all, it’s not as though you’re the only one who is faced with these temptations, you know. I just don’t act on them, that’s all.”

  “Can you live with this? Put it behind us?”

  “I don’t know, Laura. I don’t think that
I can forget about it, and it sure makes me feel sore as hell right now. But I do know that I don’t want to lose you, to break up our family, so we’ll just have to take it one day at a time. And now with this other thing....”

  “Oh, David. Why us? Why?”

  They held each other and wept until they had no more tears to shed.

  ***

  "I've just spoken to Sara," said Laura as David came in from feeding the dogs. "She knows me well enough to know that something is off, and last night I told her that we'd had a fight and that you'd packed a bag and left."

  “You didn’t tell her why, did you?”

  “No, of course not.”

  “I know how close you two are but I’d sooner you didn’t share this with her. The role of the cuckolded husband is not one that I relish.” A trace of bitterness seeped in. “As for this other mess that you got us into...”

  “What? What did you say? Now it’s my fault that some maniac attacked me? If you hadn’t insisted on keeping the dogs locked up, he would never even have dreamt of trespassing, never mind raping me!”

  “And if you’d kept your pants on, I would have been home to protect you!”

  They glared at each other hurt, anger and shock mixing to form a volatile cocktail which threatened to shatter any chance of reconciliation. Laura turned and headed for the kitchen so that David wouldn’t see the tears streaming down her face. It’s no good, she thought. He’ll never forgive me; he’ll just keep throwing this in my face every chance he gets.

  As she inserted a capsule into the coffee machine, David came up beside her.

  “I’m sorry. It’s more difficult than I thought. You’re just gonna have to give me some time, okay?”

  She clamped her lips together to stop them from quivering and nodded up at him. He looked intently at her, nodded back, then turned on his heel and walked out of the front door.

  A few moments later Laura heard him roar off on the quad bike. She guessed that he’d gone to check on their handiwork now that it was daylight. This made her stomach churn. How in God’s name could they possibly overcome this? Could she manage to go on living there knowing the dreadful secret that lay buried on the grounds? Should they sell up? No, that would probably be even riskier. Oh, God! What were they going to do? She felt nausea rising up and, clamping a hand over her mouth, dashed for the bathroom where she retched until her muscles ached.

  She was sitting at the kitchen table nursing a cup of tea when David returned. He pulled out a chair and sat down opposite her. They looked wordlessly at each other for a few moments, and then he reached out and took her hand in his. Laura battled with a fresh onslaught of tears.

  “I went down to the pond. You know, to make sure that, uh, that everything is okay. Last night I actually added a few more boulders so that the dogs wouldn’t ... well, you know.”

  “Are you sure? Senhor Manuel will be taking the Bobcat back this week so we won’t be able to do any more heavy-duty landscaping.”

  “Yes, it’s solid. I tested the boulders and they won’t budge. It actually looks really nice. And it’s in keeping with our original plan for the pond so there’s no reason for it to raise any questions.”

  Laura shook her head. “I don’t know if we can live with this.”

  “Well, we don’t have a choice now, so that’s that. And if parents can survive the death of a child and move on, then we can overcome this, too. It takes time, that’s all.”

  It sounded like a well-rehearsed mantra that he’d been repeating to himself all day, in order to convince himself that it was so.

  “What are we going to say to people when they see my face?”

  “Well, you’d best lie low for a while and we’ll tell Vanessa, Sara and Dona Maria that you took a tumble off the quad bike. There’s no reason for them to doubt it as long as you hide the bruise on your neck.”

  “Okay. Will you pick Vanessa up, then?”

  “Yes, and I’ll drop her off at school tomorrow so there’s no reason for you to leave the house. And the less you say to Dona Maria tomorrow, the better. That way you avoid contradictions in your story. Just tell her you fell of the bike in the driveway and that you hurt yourself on the gravel.”

  “All right.”

  “And, Laura, one more thing. Make sure that that your friend knows that your little fling is over.”

  “It is over, I told you.”

  “It might be for you but he sure as hell didn’t seem to think so.”

  “I’ll speak to him.”

  “You do that. One last time, because this ends here and now.”

  A mute nod.

  Laura took her cell phone out onto the patio and dialled Hugo’s number. He picked up almost immediately.

  “Laura.”

  “Hugo. We have to... There’s something I have to say to you.”

  “Yes, of course. There are many things we have to discuss. When can I see you?”

  “Hugo, I’m calling to say goodbye. I won’t be seeing to you again.”

  “Come on, Laura, don’t be so melodramatic! Of course we’ll see each other— we work together, for Chrissake!”

  “No, Hugo. I won’t be consulting for Delta anymore.”

  “But why ever not? Surely our personal relationship isn’t going to get in the way of our professional one?”

  “He knows about us, Hugo. David saw us at the shopping centre yesterday.”

  “Damn it! But, wait a minute, there was nothing really to see, you...”

  “He’s not stupid, Hugo. I couldn’t bluff my way out of it and now I don’t have a choice. I can’t see you again. It wouldn’t be fair to him.”

  “Well, what about me? It’s certainly not fair to me! I’ve turned my life around for you, Laura. I want us to be together. You can leave him and...”

  “No, Hugo. I have a young daughter who needs me and I don’t want to be the one that breaks up this family. I have to give my marriage another shot.”

  “I love you, Laura. I really do.”

  “I’m sorry, Hugo. I never meant to hurt you.”

  “But you have. Well, you know where to find me.”

  And he severed the connection.

  Chapter 28

  Laura and David ate their soup in silence. Every so often she caught him staring at her, only to lower his eyes.

  Is this how it’s going to be from now on? she wondered. So much that needs to be said and yet no words to say it with.

  She felt depleted, hollow. Even her tears seemed to have run out. She wondered what weighed most on his mind at that moment. Her affair? The dead man? Years from now, would she still catch him glancing at her with that odd look in his eye? And what was it exactly? Contempt? Resentment? Despair?

  Everyone had secrets, she knew that. Even if they didn’t consciously consider them as such, most people had ugly truths they’d rather nobody knew about. Because if they did, that one little trait or weakness would become the single characteristic that most defined them.

  Of course most of these secrets were perfectly harmless: a penchant for watching tacky soaps on TV, masturbating in the shower, envying the neighbours. Some of them were so private that not even spouses knew about them. They’d be taken to the grave as if they were one of the seven mortal sins.

  Then again others were jealously guarded and shared within families. Dirty little secrets that would shock friends and relatives were they to be revealed. Oh yes, every family had a skeleton in the cupboard.

  Of course she and David now had one of their own. Well, he wasn’t yet a skeleton but he soon would be. And he wasn’t in the cupboard—he was in a more appropriate place.

  A hysterical fit of laughter rose up through her chest, making her choke on her soup.

  David eyed her with concern. “Are you all right?”

  She didn’t seem to hear him; her eyes were glazed over.

  But that wasn’t the end of it for them. No siree! They had another secret! Yes, indeed. They were a most fortuitous family.
Not one sordid secret, but two! Two!

  Loud guffaws, which quickly turned to hysterical sobs, escaped her. Soup spluttered from her nose and mouth as she put her head down on the table and cried. David put down his spoon and came round to her side. After hesitating for a fraction of a second, he pulled her to her feet and held her in a tight embrace. He squeezed his eyes shut and rocked her gently in his arms.

  When her tears finally subsided, David led her to the sofa in the sitting room. Holding her hand gently in his, he looked at her with concern.

  “Laura, we have to be able to hold it together when Vanessa comes home. Do you think you can do that?”

  She wiped her nose on her sleeve and nodded.

  “Laura, we have to stay strong for Vanessa’s sake. There’s too much at stake. We can’t undo what’s done, and we can’t turn back the clock.” He spoke slowly and emphatically, like a patient parent explaining the unpopular, yet necessary, house rules to a troublesome teen.

  Laura’s lips quivered but she held her tears in check. He was right. She would have to pull herself together, otherwise the consequences would be far worse than if she’d called the police in first place. If the truth were to come out now, it would look bad for her, for them. After all, everyone knew that hiding a body was akin to confessing a crime.

  “It’s not your fault,” he said forcefully, gripping her by the shoulders and willing her to believe it. “That guy got what he deserved. He invaded our home; he attacked you! If the dogs hadn’t come to your aid, he’d probably have killed you!”

  Laura shuddered. She knew that, but to hear it out loud made it all the more real. How would her poor baby have reacted to the terrible news? It didn’t bear thinking about.

  “It was his fault,” David reiterated emphatically, “so why should our family have to pay for his actions? That’s what we have to focus on, do you understand?” he raised her chin with his finger and looked earnestly at her.