Sorry, I'm Taken

by Achuth Mohandas

  Hardships Of Distance

  2 MONTHS LATER:

  ‘I’ll introduce you to someone.’ – Namratha said, over the phone.

  ‘Who’s that new chick on your best friends list?’ – I asked anxiously.

  ‘Ask her. I’m switching to speaker mode.’ – Saying this, she put her phone in loudspeaker mode.

  Wondering, I said – ‘Hello, anyone at the other end?’

  ‘Yes THAMBI.’ – A much-matured female voice said. Thambi means “little brother” in Tamil and I couldn’t figure out who was that elder to me who can call me a little brother in her hostel.

  ‘Sorry, what did you just call me?’ – I asked.

  ‘Thambi. Is that clear now?’ – The same female voice struck again.

  ‘I’m sorry. I’m being unable to follow what you are saying. May I know who am I talking to?’ – I responded, putting some extra base tone to my voice.

  ‘I am Namratha’s hostel warden.’

  “Dammit” was my immediate feeling when I heard that because I had no idea about the situation that I was going through.

  ‘Arjun thambi, why are you not saying anything?’ – She asked.

  ‘Nothing Ma`am. How do you know me?’ – I said, watching my words.

  ‘Namratha told me everything about you and your relationship. And, don’t call me Ma`am. Call me AKKA instead.’ – She said. Akka means “elder sister” in Tamil. With that conversation, we were becoming close; more like an elder sister – little brother relation.

  ‘Okay, akkaa. What did she say about me?’ – I asked.

  ‘Nothing much. Just about the struggles you are facing to continue this long distance relationship.’

  ‘But what to do? It seems like it’s in our fate. We have to face it anyway.’

  ‘Okay, thambi. Now it’s time for my prayer. You talk to her.’

  ‘Okay akka. Nice talking to you.’ – I said

  ‘Same here, thambi.’ – She said in return and handed over the phone to Namratha.

  ●

  ‘Why the hell did you tell her about me?’ – I shouted at Namratha.

  ‘What’s wrong in that?’ – She asked doubtfully.

  ‘Didn’t you hear what she said? She referred this as a long distance relationship and I hate that. More than that, I am so much frustrated with this long distant thing.’

  ‘Are you trying to say that you are tired of this relationship?’

  ‘Namratha, don’t read between the lines. I said, I am tired of this long distance thing. Not our relationship.’

  ‘Our relationship is definitely a long distance one and both of us know that.’

  ‘Okay, leave it.’ – I said uninterestedly.

  ‘No Arjun. There is something that you want to say. Open up.’

  ‘I told you, right? There is nothing else that I want to say.’

  ‘I said, Open up.’ – She behaved more like she is not an architecture student but a psychology one.

  A few moments of silence existed between us and I had to actually “open up” as she said.

  ‘You know Vicky, right?’ – I asked in a gentle way.

  ‘Yes! You’ve told me about him before.’

  ‘He just came back from Dubai knowing that his girlfriend is getting married to somebody else.’

  ‘What the hell?’ – She asked on a higher note.

  ‘He went to Dubai last year for his job and that distance between them ruined their life. At last, it resulted in an unavoidable breakup.’ – I explained.

  ‘I thought they were so attached and she could never leave him.’

  ‘Even I thought the same, but today I met him and he was crying all the time calling her name. I couldn’t stand the situation and left the place.’

  ‘You could’ve stayed back with him. At this point of time, he needs emotional support and how could you leave your friend alone and stay calm?’ – She started questioning my sincerity towards my friend.

  ‘Why should I stay with him? He says that a long distance relationship can’t be like a regular love relationship and it’s always open to high risk. The chances of a break-up are so high and the chance of a life together is very low as per his experience. When I heard those words from him, our relationship was coming to my mind and I really fear if this distance between us would spoil our relationship.’ – I had no more word than this to explain my frustration.

  Namratha and I were actually more than eight hundred kilometres away from each other at that time. We were not able to see each other, we couldn’t feel the touches and there were only phone calls between us. As everyone believed, even I started to believe that a long distance love relationship would be the hardest thing a person can ever crack, but she cracked that belief of mine in a couple of sentences when I asked her about this. I still remember that day and I still feel so proud of her because she was that kind of a girl who could strategically modify my beliefs and thoughts. Zodiacally speaking, I’m a Taurean and Taureans are said to be the most stubborn of all. I was proud to say that I am a Taurean and I’m stubborn of all. Let it be my father, mother, sister, friends or colleagues, everyone associated with me found it too difficult to convince me of something. But, Namratha was the only one who could mutate my thoughts and beliefs quickly and derive new thoughts and results to the entire thing.

  Both of us kept quiet for almost thirty seconds and she was the one to break the silence. She asked – ‘You distrust our relationship, right?’

  ‘Namratha, don’t start it again. There’s nothing like that. I am just worried.’

  ‘You are concentrating on the negatives of distance. Please do try to find some positives in it too.’

  ‘I am away from you, I am not even able to see or touch you and I really don’t know how this relationship will go on for the next five years. What positive can you see in this?’ – I asked.

  ‘There are positives. Trust me.’

  ‘Could you be more specific?’ – I was turning restless.

  ‘You are in Trivandrum and I am in Chennai. We are not physically together like an old saying; our expression of love will be an overflow of feelings when we meet.’

  ‘That sounds more like a diplomatic answer. Isn’t it?’ – I asked, as I was not convinced by the answer.

  ‘Arjun, if I am attending a college in Trivandrum, my parents will be dropping me at college in the morning and picking me up in the evening on every working day. Do you think it will be easy for us to meet every day?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘Now it’s 11 in the night. At home, I share the bedroom with my sister. Do you think we can talk like this if I am at my home?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘This is my first year in college and the first year students here are not granted out-passes for weekend outings. From next year, all students in our hostel can go out twice in a week. If you can come here on a Saturday morning, we can spend two whole days together without being afraid of anyone. Do you think we can do it in our hometown?’

  ‘No.’

  ‘In our hometown, do you think that we can walk hand in hand without being afraid of the society?’

  ‘No.’ – That was my fourth NO in a row and I was already bored with the same reply.

  ‘Now tell me, which one is the best. I have given you a number of positive thoughts against your one negative thought.’ – She asked.

  ‘But I can’t always travel to Chennai and you know that.’ – I said, trying to cover up my negative thoughts with other negative thought.

  ‘It’s not just you who are always travelling. Every three months, I will be coming home for some days. We can meet if possible. Even if that’s not possible, we can at least, see each other and talk at the airport.’

  ‘I need to think and make a plan’

  ‘No need. I already have one. You can host the morning show on a Friday and start to Chennai by evening. You’ll reach here on Saturday morning. Take a room in a good hotel, take a shower and pick me up from my co
llege hostel. Then we will go to wherever we want. There will be nobody to question us. We will repeat the same process on Sunday too. In the evening, you can drop me at college and start to Trivandrum. You’ll be reaching Trivandrum on Monday morning and you can join the duty again.’

  ‘That Saturday night, are you sleeping with me?’ – I asked with a bloomed face, not voice.

  ‘Grrrrr. I am not sleeping with you even after our marriage.’ – She was literally roaring.

  ‘Okay, I’m used to it.’ – I said in a calm way.

  The conversation ended there, but the expectations already started to overflow. The Chennai city, shopping malls, multiplex theatres, metro rail and two whole days with her were flashing through my brain that whole night.

  ●

  Life was moving on with more ease those days. Namratha’s new friends Anushka, Nimitha and Jancy were also becoming closer to us day by day. They were best friends to Namratha and time made them my best friends too. I have seen that many of the girls I knew, never let their boyfriends talk to their female friends or exchange their phone numbers, but Namratha was way too different from all of them. She made us friends, she allowed us to exchange phone numbers and we were all living like a whole gang of friends; even though virtually.

  There is no constant intensity of relationships, I believe. As time passes, the intensity of each relationship changes, making them stronger or weaker, but that intensity never stays constant over a lifetime. The same principle was applied even here. I had too many friends in my hometown, but Anushka, Nimitha and Jancy took an equal place and secured equal importance as the nearby ones. They were helpful to Namratha and me in many aspects. Namratha’s mom used to call her every evening after her college hours. As the time of that call from her mom was so unpredictable, I used to call Anushka or Nimitha or Jancy and talked to Namratha through their phone to keep Namratha’s phone free to ring whenever her mom calls.

  The best part of their hostel life was that they were sharing the hostel room but they never interfered in our conversation without being invited. Whenever they find us talking, they used to leave the room and left us alone. At the same time, if they were doing some work or studies, Namratha was the one to leave the room for their convenience. When Namratha’s phone was out of battery charge or something, her friends used to lend their phones for us to talk even in the late hours.

  Our talks were not just some regular talks between lovers. We used to share each day’s life preview to each other over the phone, we discussed the next day’s action plan and I used to read the newspaper for her every day since she never got a chance to read the newspaper at the hostel. With this well-formatted routine, our relationship was moving on very positively and we were happy like never before. We had more time for each other and we were never apart. Our routines and life went hand in hand with each other.

  ●

  I was so interested in motorcycles during my younger ages and as I grew up, I lost my deep interest in them. But, as an easy mode of transportation, I decided to buy one for my daily commuting needs. In December 2011, I became a proud owner of a motorcycle. Even though the reason for buying a new motorcycle was my daily commuting, I really wanted to take Namratha on my motorcycle for a ride. I was so unsure that if I would ever get an opportunity for that, but I hoped; I did hope for the best.

  Agni Pareeksha

  A FEW MONTHS LATER:

  ‘He’s such a bastard.’ – Namratha said, over the phone.

  ‘Who?’ – I asked, surprised.

  It was almost ten in the night and I was preparing my show content for the next day. I became a little bit uneasy about that usage because I had never heard her talking about someone like that before.

  ‘Sharan Roy, my classmate.’

  ‘What did he do to deserve such a nickname?’ – I asked, giggling.

  ‘Is that funny?’

  ‘I guess so.’

  ‘He was talking rubbish about me.’ – She said, throwing some asteroids into my ears.

  ‘Who is that creep? Tell me more about him. You don’t have to worry. I can take care of it.’ – I said, jumping up from my seat and went to the terrace without waking my family up.

  ‘Listen to me first.’ – She said, as she knew very well about my responses to every situation in life.

  Walking along the terrace, I asked – ‘What did he do? Tell me, in detail.’

  ‘Before that, you’ll need to promise me.’

  ‘Promise what?’

  ‘Promise that you won’t make any problems.’

  ‘Am I the one who’s making problems here? Tell me if you want to tell.’ – I lost the last drop of patience in me.

  ‘Listen to me carefully.’ – She said and waited for some seconds to see if I am saying something.

  I kept silence and she broke that narrow gap of silence after a few seconds. – ‘Sharan is my classmate. He is the only son of non-resident Indian parents settled in Dubai. Basically, he is also from Kerala but not from our city.’

  ‘Am I supposed to know his history, geography and biological background? What I have to do with it?’ – I asked again in anger.

  ‘Listen to me and do nothing.’ – She said.

  I said nothing and she continued. – ‘He is telling everyone in our college that we are in a relationship.’

  ‘Who we? You and I?’

  ‘No. He and I.’

  ‘Bastard.’ – I remembered him in the same way that she did.

  ‘He had told everyone in the college that we are in a relationship and I am going to introduce him to my family very soon.’ – She explained.

  I really wanted Namratha to introduce me to her parents and Sharan was telling everybody that she was going to introduce him to her family. That was indeed hurting for me.

  ‘How did you come to know about this?’ – I asked, suppressing my hurt.

  ‘A senior student in my college told me about this. Even on our fresher’s day in college, Sharan had gone to our seniors and begged them to avoid me from the troubles of ragging. Almost all the seniors and many of the students in other departments believed him.’

  ‘So this started almost a year back.’ – I said, exhaling deeply.

  ‘I guess so. What can we do now?’

  ‘Does he know about me and our relationship?’

  ‘Yes. I told him about you a couple of months back, but he started spreading the story even before that and he is still continuing it.’ – Her voice reflected her helplessness.

  ‘You must be having his phone number. Send it over. I shall speak to him.’ – I said.

  ‘No, No. It may draw problems.’

  ‘Then what? Should I come over and break his head?’

  ‘No. That will draw more problems.’ – She said.

  ‘Am I supposed to be silent and keep watching this?

  ‘No. Give me ideas to tackle this. It makes me feel so embarrassed being treated like this. I don’t even feel like studying here anymore.’

  That was a moment of mixed emotions for me. I felt angry with that guy and happy at Namratha’s last delivered words; because she said, she doesn’t feel like studying there anymore. I felt like it was an opportunity given especially for me to tackle my frustrated situation. I was sure that if I could make the right use of that opportunity, it could bring Namratha back to our home city.

  ‘What bullshit are you saying? Are you going to waste one whole year of yours? No, don’t waste your time. You are supposed to be a professional architect soon.’ – I said, with stress in voice and smile on my face.

  ‘Arjun, I didn’t mean that. I just meant, it makes me so uncomfortable to face such people.’

  ‘I can understand, Namratha. It’s not even like we think. We may be able to solve a part of it, but not all. As you said, it may pop up again after a year or so.’ – I tried my best in redefining what she said.

  ‘But I can’t be a university drop out and join another university. I will lose a year in my academic
chart.’

  ‘A negative mark on your academic chart or a dark spot in your college life; which one is better at the end of the day?’ – I asked, trying to modify her thoughts.

  ‘Can I join a college in Trivandrum for the same course and continue my studies if I am leaving this university?’ – She said, making a wicked smile on my face.

  ‘I don’t know. The universities are different. I need to enquire.’ – I said, but she didn’t say anything.

  I continued – ‘Don’t worry. I shall take care of it. Go to sleep now.’

  ●

  NEXT DAY

  ‘The university people said, if you are from the same university, they can arrange a transfer, but they can’t accept students from other universities to enter laterally into the second year as the syllabus might be different.’ – I told Namratha, over the phone.

  ‘Then what we are going to do? Can’t I study here itself?’ – She asked, confused.

  ‘What did you tell me last night?’

  ‘What did I tell you the last night?’

  ‘Okay. I don’t want to make you cry again like yesterday.’ – I said in a consoling way to prove that she had cried last night, although she hadn’t, as I wanted her to come back as soon as possible.

  ‘Did I cry?’ – She asked in surprise.

  ‘See, this is what makes our relationship so meaningful. You don’t remember what you did before 24 hours and I remember everything between us from the very first day.’

  ‘Then tell me when my birthday is.’ – She asked with a regular girly accent when girls want to check their boyfriends’ memory efficiency.

  ‘December 26th.’ – I said.

  ‘Let this year go. Peace is all that matters. Start from the basics the next year. As you have already studied a lot, you will be the university topper next year.’ – I gave her an offer that she can’t refuse.

  ‘Okay. I can come and study in Trivandrum. I am ready to sacrifice a year in my academic chart, but how can I convince my parents? They have already spent a few lakhs of rupees for this year of my studies.’ – She asked a genuine question.