A couple of weeks after he had left, she finally broke down and cleaned out the house. The Christmas tree was the first thing that got tossed. She donated their clothing and simplified the whole house, getting rid of trinkets that meant nothing to her and simply collected dust. She kept the foolish bird door bell. It was a huge piece of her mother she could never let go. While working in her parents room, she found her mother's camera and knew it was meant for her to find. She decided instantly to start doing photography on the side and advertised on Craigslist. She had built up an impressive portfolio of pictures over the last couple of months. This wedding would be her first big photography job, and she knew it would lead to more if it was done well. She just dreaded going to the wedding all alone. Just another fucking day without you, Casey.
She had been going to poetry slams every week too, sometimes coming up with new material and other times just listening. Kade finally had a girlfriend and had stopped hitting on her. Thank God for small things. Basically staying busy was the only thing she could do. She smiled ruefully as she turned the heater on. It was starting to get cold now. Fall had always been her favorite season, although this period in her life held a deep sadness. The anniversary of her parents death was coming up soon and this would be her first Christmas without them. With Casey gone as well, the sadness was magnified by tenfold.
She sighed in frustration and warmed one hand in front of the heater vents at a time, keeping her eyes on the road. Not a damn thing I can do about it. A few minutes later she pulled up in her yard and turned the car off. She took a slow breath and shivered. The chill was permeating the warmth of the car already. She opened the car door and grabbed the camera bag before locking the door behind her and walked up the pathway to the stairs. She climbed them rapidly, running from the brisk chill in the air and unlocked the door, letting herself inside the warmth the house provided.
She closed the door behind herself, letting stress roll off her as she simply stood in place. Tomorrow was Sunday, the only day of the week she got to really relax. Usually she had a few photo sessions set up, but luckily, tomorrow would be a total relaxation day.“Hey, Boo,”she murmured to the little black cat twining around her ankles. She had picked Boo up from behind Big Al's restaurant a few weeks ago. The cat rubbed up against her legs happily.“I bet you are starving, huh?”She walked through to the kitchen and put her camera bag on the walnut table. Boo mewed in protest at her slow pace. She laughed and went under the counter, unearthing a can of wet food for her. She pulled the tab to open it and dumped the food into Boo's little pink dish. She grabbed a heavy earthenware cup from the dish drainer and filled it with water from the sink before popping it in the microwave. Opening the cupboard door, she found some hot cocoa mix and waited impatiently for the water to get warm. The microwave finally dinged and she removed the cup, relishing the warmth on her cold fingers. She spooned a couple of scoops of cocoa into the water and stirred, watching the water go chocolaty. She put everything away, unzipped her camera bag to pop the memory card out of the camera and went upstairs to her laptop. Boo followed, meowing the whole way.
“Boo, I know. You want to play, but I have to work tonight.”She bent and rubbed the kitten's head before putting the cup beside her on the white nightstand. She flipped the soft grey comforter back on the bed and crawled between her turquoise sheets, sighing at the softness. Settling the laptop on her lap, she opened it and logged in. She jammed the memory card into the slot on the side of the computer and began editing through the photos, rubbing Boo periodically and draining her cocoa. She glanced at the clock. Midnight. Jeez. May as well get ready for bed.
She shut the laptop down after saving her edits and brushed her teeth, frowning at her face in the mirror. I look depressed. Turning the light off in the bathroom, she padded to her dresser and opened a drawer, searching for pajamas. Finally she was rewarded with a soft heather blue thermal top and a pair of plaid flannel pajama pants that had been her dad's. She slipped them on and crawled back between the covers before turning her silver lamp off. She fiddled with the CD player beside her bed until Mozart began playing softly. Boo curled at her feet, and within minutes, she was asleep, dreaming only of him.
He tossed and turned in his bed for hours, his mind whirling with all that had happened. His mother was a totally different person. She was actually a good person these days. She was helping those who needed it most, the kids. It was mind blowing, in a way. I don't hate her anymore. I don't even know her anymore. How can I hate someone I no longer know? Maybe I can dislike the woman she used to be, but I don't think I can hate the woman she is now. He smiled thinking of Camille's parents. They are good people. I see a lot of them in Camille. He punched his pillow one more time before his eyes drifted shut. He dreamt of her.
Chapter Two –Discharge
Her heart thumped in her chest as she came to awareness. She always got incredibly excited being on the beach. A pathetic little part of her hoped every time that he would show up, but he never did. She glanced up at the azure sky and sighed. No point in just sitting here in the sand. She stood slowly and felt each individual grain of sand beneath her feet. She took a painful breath, trying to quell the sadness choking her before easing down to the water. She watched as the waves eddied and bubbled around her toes in silence. The sea foam stuck to her ankles. The tide is rising. Sadness finally burst forth and she buried her head in her hands and sobbed. I'll keep waiting. I'll always be waiting. I'll never stop waiting. It has always been you.
“Cami?”His voice broke through the sadness clouding her mind like a laser beam from heaven. She turned, her heart in her throat, and there he stood, all six foot two of him, his dark eyes devouring her.
“Casey?”She raised a hand to her throat in joy and panic. Her windpipe felt like it was closing in on itself. She felt light headed and weak. She stumbled back from the water.
He eased forward and touched her elbow, steadying her.“Cami, breathe, baby.”She shook her head and reached for him. He snagged her by the waist and pulled her to him hard, wrapping his arms tight around her and burying his face in her neck. She sobbed against his shoulder, peppering him with tiny kisses and teardrops.“Oh, Cami. Baby, I don't know if I am even supposed to be here, but damn if I'm leaving you. Not yet,”he whispered fiercely into her neck. He pressed a kiss to her fluttering pulse and eased back, looking into her luminous eyes.“Sweetheart,”he whispered brokenly, tears filling his eyes as he brushed her hair back from her face.
Her lower lip trembled and she touched his face before whispering,“I never thought you'd come back.”She pulled his head down to hers, her fingers tangling in his hair and kissing him roughly.“God, I have missed you,”she breathed against his mouth before kissing him deeply again. Their tongues tangled together and he ran his hands down her back.
He broke away with a growl.“Cami, it has never been anyone but you.”
She slipped her hand between them and cupped his cock in her palm. He throbbed in pleasure.“I have always loved you, Casey. It has always been you. Always.”She nipped his neck gently.“I want you.”
He groaned in the back of his throat.“You will be the death of me.”
She laughed, her beautiful eyes sparkling in the sun.“I can't kill you, you're already dead.”
He leaned forward, kissing her full lips. Her hands skimmed the waistband of his shorts before darting inside and stroking him wickedly. He nibbled at her bottom lip before whispering,“You really need to stop these anatomy lessons, love.”
“Do I?”She breathed, her mouth tipping up on one corner.“But I find your anatomy fascinating, Casey. Would you really deny me the pleasure of learning every inch in the name of science?”
His breath caught in his throat as she knelt. She pulled his shorts down and he popped free, fully erect for her. She took him into her mouth, suckling and licking every inch of him. He clenched his hands at his sides and groaned in pleasure.“You are killing me.”
She smiled before licking
him again.“We've talked about this. You are already dead, so I can't kill you.”
Casey frowned.“Stop saying that. I feel pretty fucking alive right now, Cami. Do you want me to show you just how alive I feel?”His eyes had gone dangerously hot.
A shiver of molten desire flooded her core.“I'm not scared.”
His mouth tipped up and a dimple appeared in his cheek.“Baby, you never have been. Get undressed.”She pulled her clothes off quickly and stood before him, the sun warming her pale curves.“You are exquisite,”he whispered.“Come into the water with me.”He took her hand and led her to the water.“Wrap your arms around my neck, love.”He slid his hands down her wet skin and grabbed her ass, lifting her. She wrapped her legs around him and he pressed against her heated core. He shivered at the temperature difference.“You feel unbelievable.”
She kissed his mouth and whispered wantonly,“Love me, Casey.”He entered her slowly, watching her face. She bit her lower lip and threw her head back, groaning in delight.“More, Casey. I want all of you.”
He obliged, driving deep inside her heat. She nibbled his neck as he pumped deep inside of her. She was incredibly close and was gasping his name over and over. He kissed her neck and nibbled her earlobe, groaning in pleasure as she shrieked her release against his shoulder. He slowed and looked deep into her eyes as she calmed.“It will never be enough, Cami.”
She kissed his mouth gently and murmured,“It is all we are promised. Love me until you have to leave me.”He grasped her and vacillated his hips quickly, bringing her to orgasm again. She tightened around him and he groaned as he came. They stood in the water for a while, him still inside her, her legs still wrapped around him, just marveling at being with each other. Finally, she unwrapped her legs and slipped down his body, her feet touching the bottom.“Casey, I have missed you.”
He touched her face gently and kissed her passionately.“I have missed you too.”Tears filled her eyes and he grabbed her hand.“Stay with me for tonight, Cami. Let's worry about tomorrow when it comes. Stay with me in the here and now.”
She nodded and smiled softly.“I can do that.”She slipped her arm around his neck and pulled his lips to hers.“I don't want to wake up,”she breathed against his lips before kissing him again deeply, her fingers tangling in his hair.
He pulled back and grinned, his sexy dimple popping up in his cheek.“You don't have to wake up until morning. Come with me.”She shivered at the double meaning of his hoarsely murmured words. He grabbed her hand and they walked out of the water, it sluicing off of their naked bodies.
“Where are you taking me?”She asked.
“To this blanket so we can lay together until morning comes,”was his simple answer.
They curled together on the blanket in the sun. Cami had dozed off, her soft breathing was soothing. His chest was tight with emotion because he knew this would not last. He would have to leave her again. He kissed the top of her head and closed his eyes. I'll hold her until I have to go.
Chapter Three –Deliver
Her eyes flicked open to the breaking dawn filtering through the blinds at her window. Boo was mewing for breakfast, and she was alone. A fist of despair settled in the pit of her stomach.“Just another fucking day, huh Boo? What else is new?”
Boo mewed in agreement, rubbing against her hand. She sighed and flicked the covers off of her body. She was exhausted. Probably from a round of incredible dream sex, she mused, but she knew she'd never get back to sleep now, not with Boo awake and hungry. Plus things needed to be done today; she had to finish the photos for the engaged couple, clean the house and do some laundry.
Finally, she sat up on the edge of the bed and rested her head in her hands. Tears filled her eyes and she forced them back. No point in crying about something you can't change. Keep moving forward, Camille. Her toes touched the cold wood floor and she shuddered, the chill going bone deep. Standing quickly, she yelped as the ice touched the soles of her feet. She stretched her arms high over her head and took a deep breath, slowly adjusting to the temperature. Boo mewed in protest because she wasn't getting her breakfast.“I know, Boo. Let me stretch and pee. Then I will get you food.”She bent to scratch the cat's ears and finished her morning routine in the bathroom. Finally she walked down the stairs, trailing her hand along the oak rail. Boo waited at the bottom, pacing and mewing. She laughed at the cat.“You'd think I never feed you, Boo!”
She gave her a little dry food in her dish and turned to the coffee pot on the counter. She put a filter in it and scooped in some dark French roast from the glass container beside the pot. She turned the handle of the faucet and filled the the coffeemaker with water. I'll need several cups to get me through today, she grumbled to herself. She simply stood looking out the window over the sink daydreaming while the coffee brewed. She sucked in a breath thinking about his touch, which further punched home the despair in her stomach. This really, really sucks, Casey. Why did I have to fall in love with a guy I can't even have? She flung the cupboard door open in anger, the sound of it reverberating off the side of the refrigerator soothing her frazzled nerves slightly. She pulled a big cup off the shelf, one that said 'Bitch without coffee'. She smirked at the witty line and thought, You got that shit right. She snatched the pot out of the machine and poured herself some. She added three spoons of sugar and tossed open the refrigerator, combing the shelves to find creamer.“You have GOT to be kidding me.”No creamer in the fridge. Not even any disgusting powdered creamer in the cupboard.“Fuck!”
She grabbed her keys and purse off the kitchen table and meandered to the door. Life was not happening without coffee. Not today. She slipped on her house shoes and opened the door in a huff, grumbling and looking at her feet. She stopped dead in her tracks when she heard,“Hello, Cami.”
Her eyes flicked up, and he smiled at the pissed off expression on her face that melted into stunned shock.“Casey?”Her eyes went wide and she muttered,“I didn't have coffee yet God,”before falling to the ground in a faint.
She moved as if in slow motion and he knelt and picked her up in his arms before she had a chance to hit her head too hard on the wooden floor.“You didn't have to give me quite this welcome, baby.”He carried her over the threshold of the house, his heart tight in his chest. He had so much to tell her, but for now, he needed to make sure she was okay. He looked around the living room, smiling at the simplicity. She had an old brown plaid couch covered in several crocheted blankets in a rainbow of colors. He heard a pissed off meow and quickly found the source to be a fluffy black cat that was hissing at him.“Hey, cat, I didn't hurt her. She just passed out. She will be okay.”The cat flicked her tail at him, as if daring him to move. He gently lay her on the couch and covered her with a blanket. He ambled toward the kitchen, taking in the black and white tile floor and white cupboards along with a large cup of coffee sitting unfinished on the counter. She must have needed creamer. He spotted the roll of paper towels on the counter and ripped a couple off before turning to the stainless steel sink and wetting the towels. He wrung them out, leaving them slightly damp and went back to her. She was still out.“I'm sorry I scared you, sweetheart,”He gently swiped her face and neck with the towels. She stirred slightly.“Cami, baby, wake up.”He kept daubing her face and neck and stroking her hair.
She could hear his voice somewhere in the great fuzzy beyond, but she felt like she was stuck in quicksand and couldn't move to find him in the dark. She felt his hot mouth press against the side of her neck. She groaned and opened her eyes.“Casey? Am I dreaming?”She sat up quickly and grimaced from the pain throbbing in her head.“Oww.”He pressed her shoulder so she would lay back down then he sat on the coffee table and waited until she got comfortable before responding.
“You aren't dreaming. I need you to take some slow breaths so you don't pass out on me again.”His dark eyes devoured her face and he smiled softly.
“Casey, I don't understand. What are you doing here?”Her voice bordered on hysterical.
> “Take a slow breath, sweetheart and let me explain everything. First, I think you need some breakfast and coffee. Can I take you out for breakfast?”He grinned, those wicked dimples popping up in his cheeks. He looked good enough to eat in his low slung jeans and blue pull over sweater. His hair was disheveled, but it always was.“Cami?”
She flushed, knowing she was caught looking him over.“Yeah?”
“Can I take you out for breakfast?”He stroked her cheek.
“I'll be the only one that can see you and I don't really want to talk to myself in a diner.”She rubbed her forehead, trying to quell the dull ache between her eyes and the ache in her chest.
“You won't be the only one seeing me, Cami.”Her emerald eyes flicked to his.
“What?”Her breath came fast and her eyes went wide.
“I'm done. That's what I want to explain. Over coffee and breakfast. I'm done, Cami.”He held his hands wide.“I'm here for good.”
Her mouth opened and closed repeatedly and she blinked a few times before launching herself off the couch and into his arms. The coffee table jiggled under their weight. She squeezed him until she thought her heart would burst.“You aren't bullshitting me? Oh God, Casey. Casey!”She squealed, burying her face in his neck and pressing kisses to his skin.
He stood and held her tight, his hands in her hair, breathing her in.“I'm not bullshitting you, Cami. I would never fuck with you about something like this. I'm as real as you are and I'm not going to let you go ever again. You are mine.”He tugged gently on her hair until she tipped her head back and looked at him with a smile.“I love you Camille Elizabeth Taylor, and I will be damned if I let you go again.”
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