Watching Mine

by Grayson, Alex

“I’m so sorry, Avery,” I whisper. A tear slips down my cheek. My hands are in Nathan’s and Avery’s, so I can’t wipe it away. It would be futile anyway, because I know there will be more.

  “Why didn’t you keep me? Did you… not love me?”

  A sob escapes my throat. I release Nathan’s hand and do what I’ve been dying to do since we first sat down to talk. I pull her small body to my chest and hug her tight to me. More tears fall when her arms go around my waist and her head buries in my neck.

  “No, Avery,” I say into the top of her head, soaking the strands with my salty tears. “I loved you so very much. I was just scared. I was young and had no idea what I was doing. There are things you don’t know about, but I felt like I didn’t deserve you, like I couldn’t give you everything you needed. Mom and Dad were able to do that when I wasn’t.”

  She pulls back and looks up at me. Nathan must have gotten up at one point because he hands Avery and me tissues.

  “I remember you always being there though. You were my sister and my best friend.”

  I smile. “I tried to be there whenever you needed me.”

  She looks down at her hand still in mine, then lifts her gaze again.

  “Do I call you Mom now?”

  My stomach flutters at the thought of hearing her call me Mom. That would truly be a dream come true.

  “You call me whatever you feel comfortable with,” I tell her, squeezing her hand. “If you just want me as your sister or best friend, then that’s what I’ll be. If you want me as your mom, then I’ll be that. It’s what you want, Avery.”

  “What about Mom… I mean… Grandma?”

  “She feels the same way. If you don’t want anything to change, then it won’t, but know that we’ll all love you no matter what.”

  Her mouth scrunches and her eyes look up and to the side as she thinks over my words. When her eyes come back to mine, some of the light that normally shines in them is back.

  “Can I call you both Mom?”

  I nod and give her a big smile. “If that’s what you want.”

  She thinks it over for a moment, then nods. “I think it is.” She leans closer to me. “But it might take a little while to get used to it, so I might forget sometimes.”

  I laugh and a huge weight lifts off my chest. I know she’s still confused and hurt, but knowing she doesn’t hate me makes me the happiest person in the world right now.

  “Am I going to move in with you,” her eyes look beyond me, “and Nathan?”

  I smile over my shoulder at him. It’s not official yet, but next week my lease for this apartment is up. He asked me to not renew it and move in with him. I’m practically already living there anyway, so I agreed. It feels right.

  “That’s up to you as well. We would love to have you live with us, but only when and if you’re ready.”

  She nods. “Okay. Let me think about it.”

  “Okay.”

  She gets up, and so do Nathan and I. She looks so little as she stands in front of me and fiddles with her shirt nervously. I hate that I made her uncertain and question everything she’s ever known.

  I’m both surprised and elated when she launches herself into my arms. She’s warm, and when I rest my cheek on the top of her head, I breathe in and still smell the sweet innocence she’s carried since a baby. My throat tightens. Although I was always in the background, I missed so much.

  “I love you… Mom,” she says haltingly, putting a stranglehold on my heart. I’ve waited years to hear her call me that, and now that she has, they are words I will cherish forever.

  I squeeze my eyes shut, my arms tightening around her for a moment. “I love you too, Avery.”

  When I open them again, I spot Nathan watching our exchange, his lips tilted up and a softness to his eyes I’ve never seen before. I smile back at him.

  I pull away and cup Avery’s cheeks. “Do you want to stay like we planned or go back home?”

  My parents are on standby at home if she chooses to cut our visit short.

  “I wanna stay.” Her answer has my smile growing. “But can I go to my room for a little while?”

  “Of course, sweetie.”

  I lean down and kiss her forehead, then let her go. Before she leaves the room, she goes to Nathan and gives him a hug. As I watch my big muscular man wrap his arms around my beautiful daughter, tears once again spring to my eyes. I love these two people so much.

  He murmurs something to her, and she nods before turning and leaving the room.

  Once she’s gone, I let out a heavy breath. Now that Avery knows the truth, or as much of the truth as I’m willing to give her right now, I can finally breathe better than I have in years. I know it won’t be all sunshine and roses from here on out; we still have a lot to get through, but the hardest part is over.

  Nathan steps up to me and pulls me into his arms. I go willingly, really needing his strength right now.

  “You did good, baby,” he murmurs into my hair, running his hands up and down my back.

  I nod against his chest, gladly accepting his praise. I lift my head and look up at him. “What did you say to her?”

  He smiles and tugs me closer. “I told her that you were lucky to have her, and that she’s lucky to have you.”

  I kiss his chest, right over his heart. “Thank you.”

  “For what?” his voice rumbles.

  “For being here. For loving me. For believing in me. For pushing me to do this.”

  His hands run up my back until he reaches the back of my head. His fingers stay in my hair against my scalp, but his thumbs caress my cheeks.

  “There’s no other place I’d be but here, and you make it very easy to love you. As far as believing in you, you make me believe in you. You’re a wonderful person, Emberleigh, and I know you’ll make an even more wonderful mother to that girl in there.”

  I feel like a leaky faucet as more tears slide down my cheeks. He rubs them away with his thumbs.

  “You know we’re going to have to get married now, right?”

  His question steals my breath right out of my lungs. “What?” I say with bated breath.

  He smiles and kisses the tip of my nose. “Yep. Can’t have my stepdaughter be an illegitimate child.”

  A laugh escapes. His answering chuckle warms me deep inside. A moment later, his lips flatten into a firm line, his expression turning serious.

  “I know it’s been less than a year since we officially met, but it was over two years ago when I first laid eyes on you. You captivated me from the very beginning, and that feeling has only grown. I was never really the type to want to settle down, but I can’t imagine not having you in my life. When I picture my future, Emberleigh, it’s you I see in it.” My fingers dig into his back when he pulls a small black box from his pocket and opens it. I look down and my breath catches at the beautiful silver band with a princess-cut diamond. “Will you marry me?”

  The words barely leave his lips before I’m jumping up and locking my legs around his waist. I need absolutely zero seconds to think about my answer. “Yes!” I yell, then repeat it two more times for good measure. “Yes! Yes!”

  He laughs, then seals our lips together in a forever kind of kiss.

  The End…

  Turn the page for a sneak peek at Always Wanting, the first book in the Consumed Series…

  Chapter One

  Abby

  MY TITS SWAY BACK AND FORTH, and I thank God I have small ones, or they’d be damn near slapping me in the face. The guy behind me—I can’t remember his name at the moment—grunts his way through pounding into my pussy. His hands dig into my hips and sweat drips onto my back. My walls clench around his hard cock, but it still isn’t enough. I need more. My stomach starts cramping and sweat—not from the sex itself, but from the insistent need for release—forms on my brow.

  Fisting the sheets in my hands, I ram my hips back to meet his relentless thrusts. Looking over my shoulder, I growl, “Either fuck me harder or g
et the hell out so I can find someone to do it for me.”

  The hands on my hips tighten, and I know it’ll leave a mark later. I don’t care. I just need this guy to get the job done before the pain takes over.

  “Fuck, babe,” he groans. “I fuck you any harder, I’ll plow you into the mattress.”

  “Just do it,” I hiss.

  “Jesus,” he grunts, but does as he’s told and slams his hip bones into my ass as he pumps into me forcefully.

  I straighten my arms when his thrusts push my body forward. A blissful sigh leaves my lips, followed by a low moan when he finally hits the spot I need him to. My fingers start to tingle from lack of circulation, so I unwrap them from the sheet. My body starts to quiver with the first ripple of my orgasm. I close my eyes, and tiny sparks of light shoot behind my lids as the cramps in my stomach turn to flutters of delight. I lower my arms and lay my head against the cool sheets as immense pleasure takes over my body. The guy behind me still pounds away, jerking my hips back to him. I pay him no mind, content to just lay here and let him have at it. I got what I needed from him, it’s only fair that he reaches his peak as well.

  Several minutes’ pass before he grunts and stiffens behind me. He releases my hips, and I immediately drop to the bed. He falls down beside me with his arm thrown over his eyes, breathing heavily. Now that my brain is functioning properly again, his name comes back to me in a flash.

  Matt.

  Matt was my lifesaver for the night.

  As appreciative as I am of him, I really need him to go now; I don’t like it when they linger. I may need sex from men on a daily basis to keep my sanity, but I don’t let them stay afterwards. I don’t do relationships. I know I’m a bitch—using men for sex and discarding them—but I have a damn good reason.

  I roll to my side and get out of bed. I bend with my ass facing Matt to pick up his clothes to toss at him. I lost my modesty a long time ago, and if it wasn’t for my job, or the fact I would get arrested for indecent exposure, I’d never wear clothes. It would make things so much easier when the need took hold. During the day I’m fine, but by the time evening rolls around, the urge grips me tight and leaves me in a near panicked state. I came so close to having an anxiety attack tonight. I thought I would have to call my friend, Nathan, to come rescue me. Luckily, Matt showed up and caught my eye at the perfect time.

  And here we are now, an hour later, with him still lying on my bed, and me standing with my hands on my hips, glaring at him. He didn’t take the hint when his clothes landed on his stomach, so it looks like I’m going to have to be blunter.

  I reach out with a foot and nudge his leg. “Hey, it’s time to go.”

  His arm moves, showing off sleepy, plain brown eyes. “Can’t you give a guy a minute to recover?” he mutters.

  “No. I need you to leave right now,” I tell him. I spy my panties on the floor and pick them up to slip up my hips.

  I’m exhausted, and want nothing more than to sleep. A niggle of guilt tries to worm its way in with how I’m treating this guy, but I push it back. I’ve learned the hard way over the years that in order to keep my inner emotions intact, I’d have to build a steel wall around myself. I hate being a bitch, but it’s the only way to protect myself. Only a handful of people know the real me.

  Matt grumbles as he drags himself from the bed. I ignore him and pull on a cami, sans bra. Using the hair tie from my wrist, I pull my thick blonde hair up into a ponytail as I wait for him to finish. I tap my fingers on the doorframe I’m leaning against, while he sits on my bed and pulls on his shoes. It’s normally the guys that are hell-bent on leaving as soon as they get done, but not this guy. He’s taking his sweet time, and it’s grating on my nerves.

  He finally stands and makes his way over to me. I’m just about to turn around and lead him to the door when he boxes me in by planting his hands on the doorframe on either side of me. I inwardly cringe when he leans down, and the smell of whiskey on his breath assaults me. My head hits the door when I lean back to get away from him.

  “How about we do this again sometime, sugar?” he drawls, leaning down to rub his lips against mine. They end up on my cheek when I turn my head.

  I put my hands on his chest and give him a shove. “I don’t think so.”

  “You sure?” he asks, not getting the hint.

  “Yep.” I slip under his arm and walk down the hallway. “The door is this way,” I throw over my shoulder, and see he’s following.

  Thank goodness.

  Opening the door, I stand and wait for him to catch up. Right before he walks through the threshold, he reaches out, snags me around the waist and slams me against his chest. His lips land on mine before I get a chance to turn my head this time. Even though I seal my lips tight, bile rises in my throat. One thing I always avoid with the men I sleep with is kissing. It’s too personal, and intimate.

  Right as I’m about to bite his damn lip and knee his balls up to his throat, he pulls back and murmurs, “Your loss,” and then he’s gone. I slam the door behind him and blow out a breath, relieved to finally be alone.

  Fuck my life. Sometimes, I really detest my addiction, while other times, I fucking love it.

  ***

  A KNOCK AT THE DOOR THE NEXT day pulls me from sleep. Grabbing my phone off the nightstand, I note that it’s almost noon. I also notice I have a missed call and text from Ava, one of my best friends.

  Ava: Get your ass up.

  It’s Saturday. I always sleep in on Saturday. Ava knows this. She also knows I get cranky if I’m woken prematurely.

  I pull my pillow over my head when I hear the knock again. I know she won’t go away, but my ass isn’t getting out of this bed to answer the door, either. If it’s important enough, she has her own key and will use it.

  Minutes later, my bed dips and the pillow is yanked from my hands. I glare at Ava with an I’m-going-to-kill-you look. Of course she ignores it, just like every other time I give her my best evil glare, and proceeds to snatch the cover off my near naked body. I showered after Matt left last night, and only put on a pair of panties before falling into bed. Ava doesn’t bat an eyelash at my bare tits, and I don’t bother to cover them. She’s seen them before, and I’m sure she’ll see them again.

  Ava and I met several years ago in a bar, when some guy was trying to pick her up and wouldn’t take the hint that she wasn’t interested. She was blunt with the guy, but he was relentless. I could sense the anger rolling off her, and wanting to keep her from blowing up on him, I interrupted their conversation by planting an open mouth kiss on her, right there in front of him. I’m not gay. I’m not even bisexual, although, I’ve had a few experiences with the same sex, but even that kiss had my body turning hot. It was just a ploy to help her out, but I think it went on a bit longer than I’d intended.

  By the time we pulled back from each other, we were both breathing heavy. The guy was gone, which was my goal. I introduced myself, as did Ava, and we hit it off from there. We’ve been best friends ever since. We’ve both been a part of a few threesomes together, the two of us with a guy, but nothing else has ever happened between us. I don’t want it to, and neither does she. But we’re completely fine with seeing each other’s naked bodies. That’s just how we are.

  “Get your ass out of bed and get dressed. We’re meeting Nathan and Tegan in thirty minutes.” She walks to my dresser and rummages through my underwear drawer, throwing me a bra and shirt.

  “Did you at least bring coffee, since you so rudely woke me up before my alarm went off?” I grumble, slipping the bra up my arms and snapping the back clasp. “And why are we meeting Nathan and Tegan?”

  “No particular reason,” she says. Walking into my closet next, she tosses me a pair of jeans. “It’s been a while since we’ve all had lunch together.”

  “Coffee. You never answered my question about coffee. I’m going back to bed if you didn’t bring any.” I’m serious. If she didn’t bring coffee, then she can carry her ass out of my
apartment and leave me to go back to sleep.

  “On the counter, in the kitchen. Now stop piddly-dicking around and get dressed.”

  Still in my bra and panties, I flip her off as I walk to the bathroom to relieve my bladder, wash my face, and brush my teeth. I laugh at her shouted, “You wish, bitch.”

  When I step back into my bedroom, Ava is reclining against my headboard with my phone in her hands, plundering through my shit. Sometimes, it’s great having a best friend, but other times, like right now, I miss my privacy, and when you have a friend like Ava, you don’t have any.

  I walk over and snatch the device from her hands. “Do you mind? What if I had dirty selfie pictures on there?”

  She shrugs, then gives me a cheeky grin. “You do have dirty selfie pictures on there. I just saw one, and let me just say, hot damn, girl!”

  Rolling my eyes, I pull on my shirt and pants before slipping on a pair of black Keds.

  “You know we’re meeting Nathan and Tegan at Blackie’s tonight, right? We couldn’t just wait until then?”

  “Nope,” she says cheerily, now going through my nightstand drawer. It’s not like I have a drawer filled with sex toys, but I do have one filled with boxes upon boxes of condoms. Due to my addiction, I always need to be prepared. I never have sex without one.

  “Small?” Ava wrinkles her nose as she holds up a box that does indeed have the size as small.

  “What? I can never be too careful. I’d rather have them and not need them, than not have them at all. The last thing I need is to bring a guy here and the condom be too big.”

  “That’s why you check out the package before you ask him to deliver,” she retorts.

  “You know there are times that I can’t do that.”

  Ava knows of my addiction; we’re as close as two friends can possibly be. She’s seen me at my worst, when the tremors and sickness take hold. She understands, and doesn’t judge me. That’s part of the reason why I love her so much.

  “True,” she mutters, looking at me with sympathy, and a hint of mirth. “Poor, poor, Abby.”