Feathers of Snow: A Goose Girl retelling (Kingdom of Birds and Beasts Book 1)

by Alice Ivinya

  I met Jian’s eyes as he stood by himself in the far corner, and I attempted to smile as the nerves twisted my stomach again. He started towards me, and I relaxed a little in relief. At least this time he wouldn’t ignore me in front of everyone.

  Ruo patted my arm. “Oh look, there’s Changying. I need to talk to her about her son. I shall see you later.” She unhooked her arm, winked, and disappeared into the crowd. My guards had made themselves scarce too by the time Jian reached me, and we were surrounded by a halo of space.

  Jian gave me a small, sharp bow and offered his arm. I took it, my heart pounding and my mouth dry, and he led me deeper into the room. He was wearing the cloak I had embroidered for him and the swan fell directly over his heart. The sound of fiddles intensified, and I had to lean into him to catch his words. “You’re looking very beautiful tonight, Elyanna.”

  I smiled at him, enjoying the rush of emotions caused by his words. Nobody had ever called me beautiful before him, and I wasn’t quite sure how to respond so I turned to humor. “And you look exactly the same as always.” I laughed to show I meant no offense.

  He straightened. “I spent an extra hour shining my buttons.”

  I gave him a sideways look and gathered from his expression that he wasn’t being serious. I grinned.

  A new voice distracted me. “Did Jian really just attempt a joke? Spirits, what have you done to him, Elyanna?”

  I turned to see Captain Jun had approached. I wished he’d left us alone like everyone else, but still appreciated he was Jian’s closest friend here. I needed to befriend him too. His hair had been cropped even shorter than Jian’s, and I thought it only drew attention to his scar.

  He passed me a glass of wine, and I smiled my thanks. “I hope you’re not here to steal Jian away from me like you normally do.”

  He spread his arms. “It’s the Winter Ball, Princess. Tonight is the one night all work is forbidden for everyone. It is why even the servants are dressed to dance and everyone helps themselves.” He leaned in and gave me a secretive grin. “This evening he’s all yours.”

  I shifted my feet as heat prickled my cheeks and Jian cleared his throat. “Elyanna, would you like to dance?”

  I suppressed a smile and gave him a mock frown along with my best impression of his voice. “Do you know this one? No? I suggest, then, that this is not the first one you attempt.” I dismissed him with my hand. “You can ask me again later. I may possibly deign to dance with you then.” I shrugged. “If it’s a short one.”

  He laughled and slipped his arm around my waist, pulling me in. His voice was lowered and playful, but sincere. “I know all the dances, Elyanna. I will dance every single one with you, if you wish.”

  I frowned at him, trying to not let him know how breathless he was making me. “But you hate dancing.”

  “Not with you.”

  My reply fled.

  It was Jun’s turn to clear his throat. “By the beasts, I think I may need some more wine.”

  A hand touched my arm, and I turned to see who the owner was. I was surprised to see Changying dressed in a traditional dress, if a lot less grand than those of the nobility. Her expression was concerned, and I took her hand, turning to Jian. “Excuse me a moment.”

  The joy faded a little from his eyes, but he nodded, his face becoming stony. The warmth from his arm disappeared as it left my waist and the cool air of the castle replaced it. I took a deep breath to clear my mind and let Changying lead me away from the noise of the fiddles to where she could easily talk.

  “I’m sorry to disturb you, Highness, but something happened this morning I think you should know about.” Her eyes seemed troubled.

  I leant closer to her. “Go on.”

  “Well you know you were asking about the families in Stonekeep with Syberan blood? Well… three Syberans were found dead this morning. It looks like they hung themselves. Nobody knows why.”

  All the warmth and joy felt sucked out of me in one cold blow. “Who?”

  “The couple were cowherds. The son was a goose boy.”

  My mind raced. “Did any of the family remain?”

  “A daughter. A goose girl as well. She has disappeared.”

  My heart sank, “Tell me about her.”

  Changying spread her hands helplessly. “I know very little. They were a private family. The boy was called Conrad. I never met the girl. She and her brother were in charge of the care of the geese all year around. They took them out to the fields and marshland when there was no snow and brought food to them in winter months. It’s lonely work and they had few friends.”

  “Did she have white hair?”

  Changying shook her head. “There has never been anyone in Stonekeep with white hair except you.”

  I took both of Changying’s hands. “Thank you for telling me this. But please think carefully. When was the first time you heard about the daughter?”

  She shrugged. “I only learnt about the family when you started asking questions. I’ve seen the couple around for years of course. And I knew it was Syberan children who cared for the geese. But I must be honest, I’d never taken much notice before, Highness.”

  I forced a smile. “Thank you, Changying. Please let me know if you learn anything else or if the girl is found.”

  The lady bowed and left me. I walked to the wall to steady myself. If Elyanna was in Stonekeep, there were few places she could hide when her face shape and features looked different to the Borderlanders’. Getting a family to quietly take her in made sense. Maybe in return for money. But when she was ready to make herself known, she wouldn’t want them there in case they knew too much. Maybe she had let something slip. Could she have staged their suicides? If so, that meant she was ready to move tonight.

  That meant she was here, in the castle. Maybe in this room.

  I scanned the faces around me for any Syberan features. Any hint of pale hair. But there were too many people in the smoky room. I should have taken more precautions and been more prepared. But it had been so easy to be distracted by Jian. Even now, all I wanted to do was forget about Elyanna and dance with the Prince until dawn.

  I wrung my hands as I kept examining each face, focusing on those with taller stature. I couldn’t tell anyone else without risking my identity. I couldn’t explain to Jian without bringing everything crashing down.

  My fingers twitched for my sword hilt, but it wasn’t there. It was too big to look good over a ball gown with wide skirts, and so I’d left it in my room. That seemed foolish now. Elyanna had turned into a murderer, she had always had it in her. She would be out for my blood too.

  I could go back to my rooms and get my sword before anyone noticed. It would be good to have space to think.

  I slipped through a servants’ door and took swift steps to the nearest staircase. I hurried up and turned into an empty corridor.

  “Hello, Brianna.”

  I whirled, my heart in my mouth. That voice. That awful voice.

  “Elyanna.” The word came out as a whisper. I realized I’d made a terrible mistake leaving the ballroom alone. I’d been so eager to not let anybody find out what was going on, I hadn’t been thinking straight.

  The Princess grinned. Her hair was bound in a ragged, faded turban and a thick fur coat hid her slender frame, but I would recognize her anywhere. All at once, I was a small girl living in fear of her every whim.

  “Do you have any idea how stupid you look in that dress?” She let out a stifled giggle. “I’ve come for what is mine. You can’t imagine what I have had to endure to be here.” She swept her hands over her dull coat in disgust. “What I have suffered and how I have waited. But, did you really think you would steal the title of queen from me? You?”

  I gaped at her, trying to think ahead. There had to be a way I could avoid this looming disaster. “Steal? You forced me here because you didn’t want to come. You wanted to stay in Sybera in your life of luxury.”

  She shrugged. “I changed my mind.” Sh
e unwrapped her faded turban and let her long white hair cascade to her waist. A bird sitting above our heads flapped its wings at the movement, and I glanced up to see it watching us from the shadowy rafters. Elyanna’s voice regained my attention. “You have not been treated badly here. I can see that being Jian’s wife is safe enough. He seems rather preoccupied by the Border, so I will be able to do what I wish. And I wish to be Queen.”

  I took a step forward. “You can’t change your mind about something like this. If they found out the truth, it would be war. Does your mother even know you’re here?”

  She sniggered and shook her head. “Oh, Bria. They’re not going to find out the truth. We’re going to tell them you took the role by force and left me alone to starve on the way here. The guards were in on it too, you see.”

  Cold shot through my body. “They will kill me.”

  Elyanna stepped forward with a twisted smile. “It’s crazy enough that you could have the chance to be a princess. But a queen? Don’t be ridiculous, Bria. You’re a lady from a remote province that farms potatoes. People like you never become Queen.” She stepped even closer to me, until her breath tickled my skin. “You don’t belong here. But I will give you one chance to save yourself.” She dropped her voice to a gleeful whisper. “Run.”

  My heart was tearing itself to pieces, terror freezing my stomach. Then one thought condensed in my mind. “You killed Falada, even though he trusted you. Even though you were bonded.”

  She tilted her head. “I will kill whoever I need to, to get what I want. It’s really not that hard. So I would advise you to run, Brianna.” Her hand dug into her skirts and pulled out a long thin knife. I stepped back and cursed again that I didn’t have my sword. The ball gown would significantly hamper my movements as well.

  “One,” smiled Elyanna.

  I dug in my feet and took a deep breath. How could I leave Jian? And Jeremiah, Cai Hong and Hai Rong?

  “Two.”

  But she was right. I had no right to be here. My relationship with all of them was built on lies. My relationship with Jian was fake. He had no idea who I really was, and I wasn't sure I could bear lying to him any longer. I had nothing to recommend myself.

  “Three. That’s the end of the warning.” She launched at me, slashing the air.

  Part of me wanted to attack her with the full force of my fury and grief over Falada. Using my nails if I had to. But I needed to stay calm if I was to work a way out of this. Or as calm as I possibly could with panic threatening to build up inside. I dodged the blade and aimed a blow for her arm. It hit in the fold of her elbow, but somehow she managed to maintain her grip on the hilt. She was stronger than I remembered, and faster.

  She turned again and slashed at my face. I ducked and kicked out at her legs, sending her falling. She cried out as she fell, but she rolled back to her feet at once. My skirts were tangled from the attack, and I had to stagger back to upright, dangerously close to falling myself. Now she was determined, she was a much better fighter than in our training sessions back in Hava. And she had a knife.

  She ran at me with a screech, and I knocked her knife hand up and over my shoulder. I turned and twisted her arm, disarming her. The knife clattered to the floor. Elyanna grabbed my hair and yanked it back, pulling the braids free. The Queen’s sapphires sparkled in the torchlight as they flew to the floor. She yanked harder, until my body threatened to collapse backwards. Her other hand grasped for my neck. I hit her full in the face with the heel of my hand, the angle awkward. She didn’t let go, and I elbowed her in the throat.

  She crumpled, gasping for air, making a horrible rasping sound. Her nose was bleeding, vibrant red across her snow-pale skin. Her fingers fumbled towards the knife. I took two swift steps and prized it from her grasp. I stood over her, panting, and for the first time in my life she was at my mercy.

  She glared up at me with real hatred, and I gripped the knife harder. What should I do with her? She was a monster. She had killed Falada. She enjoyed the pain of others. She had locked me in a barrel and left me for hours when I had tried to save a kitten. I should kill her. It was the right thing to do. The logical thing. Then she wouldn’t be able to ruin my life any longer. Elyanna spat at my feet and I took a step back. She croaked a laugh.

  Could I do it?

  I stared at her pathetic form and leveled the blade at my former mistress. I needed to think. I needed time to think. Queen Geraldina would find out she had come here eventually. I didn’t want the alliance to be broken, let alone war. But I couldn’t let her live. She would never stop trying to kill me and become queen.

  As a collected calm settled over me, I noticed a flicker of fear in Elyanna’s eyes. For the first time in my life I had the power to make my own decision.

  A door opened behind me and I heard heavy boots approach, but I didn’t dare take my eyes off Elyanna. They must have heard her scream. She smiled at me, but when she saw my confidence was unwavering, she glared at me, uncertain.

  A hand grabbed my arm and I looked to see Jian, sword drawn. His face was a strange mixture of alarm and relief and his eyes sought mine, even as he leveled his sword at the real Princess. Despite everything, I felt a warmth stir in my stomach. “Elyanna, are you all right?”

  I had a fierce desire to kiss him, to drink in his strength and get lost in his arms so everything else melted away. I wanted his touch to erase Elyanna’s, his words to drown hers. But my world was crashing down around us and I needed to think straight. I nodded and didn’t meet his eyes. My deceit was staring him straight in the face.

  Captain Jun and Cai Hong ran between me and Elyanna, and studied her with cold eyes. The Princess staggered to her feet, wiping her bloody nose on her sleeve.

  Her earlier amusement was gone. “I am the real Princess Elyanna. You have all been tricked. Put your swords away.”

  None of the men hesitated. They must trust me so deeply, they never even questioned whether she was telling the truth. Guilt twisted my insides as Jian’s grip on my arm tightened protectively. Elyanna stared at me with such hatred, I looked away.

  Maybe I should tell them to lock her up, so I could have space to think. She had the white hair of the Old Blood. They were bound to become curious about her identity eventually. I would have to come up with more lies. I bet nobody in all of Hava knew where she was. Queen Geralidina would never have allowed her to come in this reckless fashion. It could be months until she found out she was missing. Eagle’s Pass was closed, Sybera couldn’t interfere. I could tell Jian she had murdered Falada and have her executed. Maybe write to Queen Geraldina to say she had perished in the snow with her men. I had the power to defeat her forever.

  But that meant more lies. Lies that would confuse the Borderlanders.

  Elyanna staggered forward. “I said, put your swords away! Arrest her before her schemes can do any more damage. She is my maid. She usurped me on the journey here and left me alone to die. I only survived by getting a job as a goose girl.”

  I turned my back on her.

  “Don’t let her escape,” Jian ordered and pulled me away into another empty corridor. I looked back and saw Cai Hong clamp his hands down on Elyanna’s arms while Jun checked her for weapons. Her eyes flashed pure fury. She seemed so small now. The smallest she had been in her life.

  Jian closed the door behind us and sheathed his sword. His presence was so strong and comforting, but he wasn’t meant to be mine. Our relationship was built on lies. Every emotion I had was twisted with guilt. “Elyanna, do you know what’s going on?”

  I stepped away from him and opened a window into the darkness. Cold wind buffeted my face, clearing my mind. I gasped as snow hit my cheeks, but I didn’t step back. This was my decision, and I chose not to live a lie anymore. I wanted my relationship with Jian to be genuine. I didn’t want to get caught in layers of lies about how Elyanna had died or ended up locked away, when Queen Geraldina found out.

  A lump formed in my throat as I realized I had to tell Jian
. This was an impossible situation and it affected him most of all. This was his wife, his alliance, his resources for the Border. His marriage. He shouldn’t be forced by lies. He deserved to know the truth and make his own decision. It was the right thing to do. And maybe there was the chance he would still choose me when he realized Elyanna had fooled him in the first place.

  I closed the window and took a deep breath, turning to the Prince who was standing patiently. I couldn’t meet his eyes, my insides squirming. Jian’s warm hand cupped my chin to lift it, and his breath heated my face. He was so close, like he was trying to shield me from the world. I so badly wanted him to be mine, but he never truly would be until he knew the truth.

  “Elyanna, don’t worry,” he breathed. “Nobody will believe her. She is clearly lying. I’ll have her removed at once.”

  I removed his hand and took a step back, ice running through my body.

  “Jian, I need to tell you something. She’s not lying. She really is Princess Elyanna, not me.”

  His lips turned from scoff to laugh, then the expression froze as he saw my face. The smile twisted into a confused frown and he shook his head. He seemed to struggle to speak. “I’m sorry?”

  I just looked at him. The hurt in his eyes ripped through my heart like a physical blow. I reached out to take his hands, but he jerked them away and took a step back. “Who are you?” His voice was terribly cold.

  I took a deep breath and looked at the buttons on his coat. “You know who I am, Jian. The only thing that is different is my name.”

  His coldness was replaced by anger, he took a step forward and raised his voice. “I asked you, who you are!”