How a Realist Hero Rebuilt the Kingdom: Volume 5

by Dojyomaru

  I looked around, but no one seemed all that flustered. The majority of them were just looking at the young man with wry or mocking smiles. On closer inspection, despite how much fire there had been, the area where the blast had gone off behind the young man wasn’t even mildly scorched.

  “Oh my, silly brother.”

  When I turned back, Siena was looking on with a troubled look.

  “‘Brother’?” I repeated.

  “Yes, sire. That would be my elder brother, Ivan Juniro.”

  “Um... It looked like there was an explosion to me,” I said.

  “That is my brother’s ability. It makes for a gaudy display of fire and noise, but it is something like an illusion. There is no real force behind it. Hee hee. Isn’t he cool?”

  “Er... Uh, sure...”

  If she was able to write that off as just “cool”... in some ways, this girl might be pretty impressive.

  I see, I thought. The people invited here were those who had regular dealings with the House of Juniro. Naturally, they must be aware of the family’s strange son. That was why, even when there had been an explosion, they had only reacted with wry smiles.

  Moltov shouted in anger. “Ivan! How can you act so rude in front of His Majesty?!”

  “Shut your face, old man!” Ivan struck a pose, and this time there was a flash of lightning behind him. “You greedy old man, trying to take advantage of Siena’s innocence to push her into a marriage! Even if the heavens allow it, I, her brother, shall not!”

  When he declared that, there was a fire in Ivan’s eyes. Literally; fire was shooting out of his eyes.

  ...I dunno what to say. I was starting to have a bit of fun. Moltov, on the other hand, was furious.

  “To marry the king is the greatest honor a woman born into a noble house can hope to achieve for herself! What’s wrong with a father wanting his daughter to find happiness?!”

  “Siena can decide her own happiness! It’s not something for you to decide for her!” Ivan shouted.

  “Shut up! You’re all show, just like your ability!”

  “You have the same ability, old man! It’s in our blood!”

  Their eyes met and sparks flew. Dark clouds formed between them and lightning struck right in the middle. I’m not speaking in metaphor; these things actually happened. And yet, there was no damage done. It was entertaining to watch, as long as you weren’t involved.

  I turned to Siena and asked her, “Hey, uh... Shouldn’t we stop them?”

  “They do this all the time,” she replied with a grin.

  “Oh, okay then...”

  Even during our little exchange, the two of them kept heating up.

  “Today is the day I finally beat some sense into you!” Moltov shouted.

  “That’s my line! Bring it, old man!”

  “Chowahhhhhhhhhhhhh!”

  “Dahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!”

  As the two approached each other, a bunch of arms and legs appeared between them, punching and kicking and blocking. It was like someone had made a live-action adaptation of Dra**on Ball, and that got me pretty excited. For a while, I watched them enthusiastically, thinking, Yeah, give me more! But then...

  “Nearly all of those limbs are illusions,” Aisha said. “It’s just their real bodies in the middle, beating the crap out of each other.”

  I went silent. When Aisha, who had seen through it with the kinetic vision of a warrior, told me that, it kind of killed the fun.

  Five minutes later, Moltov and Ivan collapsed, both of them falling face-up on their backs at nearly the same time.

  “Urgh... Not bad, old man.”

  “Hmph. I’m not so far over the hill that I’d let you beat me just yet.”

  Okay, it was showy and all, but all they had been doing was whaling on each other, so if they were going to pull that “rivals who’ve communicated through their fists” routine on me, I wasn’t sure how to react... Well, not like it mattered.

  Anyway, I walked over to Moltov, who was collapsed on the ground. “Moltov.”

  “Wh-Why, sire! We’ve made a miserable display of ourselves! I beg your forgiveness!” Moltov hurriedly got up and apologized humbly, but I waved a hand and told him not to worry about it.

  “I didn’t mind. It made for an entertaining sideshow. On that note, there’s something I’d like to talk to you about...”

  “Wh-Whatever might that be?”

  “Forget Siena. Would you be willing to give Ivan there to me for the good of the country?”

  ““...Come again?”” Moltov and Ivan both blinked in surprise at my request.

  ◇　◇　◇

  “...And, well, that’s how I hired our exercise guy, Ivan Juniro,” I finished.

  “You’ve picked up another weirdo, I see...” Liscia looked at me with exasperation.

  Yep, that was her usual response.

  Out in the hall, Ivan Juniro the exercise guy gave the children a thumbs-up, flashing his pearly white teeth as he said, “A healthy mind resides in a healthy body. Come, children! Train with me, so you grow up strong, kind, and hardy!”

  Though Ivan said that, the children had conflicting responses. There were kids who were all gung-ho about it; kids who were intimidated by his excessive passion and driven to tears; kids who got scared and clung to Juna... and, overwhelmingly the most common response, there were kids whose little brains couldn’t process the man who had just appeared in front of them and stood there staring blankly at him.

  When she saw the state of affairs in the hall, Liscia asked me, worriedly, “Hold on, Souma, is that going to be okay?”

  “Umm... He’s a bit stiff, I guess? Maybe Ivan’s feeling tense?”

  “This is supposed to be exercise time, right?” Liscia asked. “They can’t do it like that, can they?”

  True enough, it wasn’t looking like the kids would exercise for us.

  In the exercise part of the educational kids shows I was basing this on, there were kids who would run and roll around, attack the exercise guy, and generally do whatever they wanted. But, “I think it’ll be fine,” I said at last. “There’s a trick to it, after all.”

  “A trick?”

  “Heheheh... Hahaha... Bwahahaha!”

  In a woman’s voice, a three-stage laugh echoed through the hall.

  “Who’s there?!” Ivan looked around.

  When he did, the children shouted, “There!” “Up there!” and pointed upwards. There was someone standing on the second floor where Ivan had been earlier.

  “Make the children strong, kind, and hardy, you say?” the woman called. “How risible! We, the Black Group who are bent on world domination, will never allow it!”

  Those lines that reeked of expository dialogue were spoken by a woman wearing a mask that covered the top half of her face, a swimsuit-like outfit with a cape that was open in the center to expose her cleavage, and end-of-the-century style spiked shoulder pads. She had two horns sprouting from her temples, dragon-like wings on her back, and a whip-like tail growing out of her backside.

  Ivan turned to the woman and shouted, “Just who are you?!”

  “I am the evil female commander of the Black Group, Miss Dran,” the woman announced.

  Liscia, who was watching at my side, stared blankly for a moment, but she soon came to her senses, turned to me, and asked, “That’s... Carla, right?”

  “No. She’s the evil female commander, Miss Dran.”

  “Huh...?”

  “That’s the evil female commander, Miss Dran, got it?” I said.

  “Oh, okay then... Yeah, you know I’m not just going to accept it like that!”

  Even as Liscia throttled me, the story was moving along out in the hall.

  Miss Dran spread her wings to intimidate Ivan. “If you make the children get stronger, it could get in the way of the Black Group’s plan to conquer the world. I will detain you before that happens, Ivan Juniro!”

  With the highly revealing outfit, she was probably so embarr
assed that desperation had taken over. There was a real, heated passion in Miss Dran’s performance.

  Every time Miss Dran did one of her over-the-top actions, certain parts of her would jiggle. The video quality of the Jewel Voice Broadcast wasn’t all that good, so I didn’t think the viewers would notice, but... honestly, I wasn’t sure where to look. I mean, Liscia was right there, glaring at me.

  “Don’t you think Miss Dran’s costume is a little too risque?” she demanded.

  “Serina had full control over the design,” I defended. “I should mention, I did tell her to restrain herself because this is supposed to be a kids’ show, but... because I had asked her to help with producing the costume, it was hard to reject it.”

  “I knew it...” Liscia sighed. “If anything, wouldn’t Serina herself have made a better evil female commander?”

  “Could you say that to her face?”

  “Not a chance!”

  “I know, right?”

  While we were talking about that, Ivan thrust a finger in Miss Dran’s general direction. “World domination?! I will never let you get away with it!”

  “Hmph, you’re spirited, but what can you really do? Have at him, my minions!”

  When Miss Dran gave the order, a gaggle of men dressed all in black appeared and surrounded Ivan. The key point was to have them keep a slight distance from the children, so as not to make it seem too dangerous.

  Ivan fell into a fighting stance, shouting, “Bring it on!”

  With that as their cue, the men in black took turns attacking Ivan. Ivan fought them all one-on-one.

  Biff, bash, bam!

  There was an exaggerated sound effect every time he hit one of the minions. When hit, the minions would flip through the air, or spin to the ground and collapse. It looked impressive, but the sounds came from Ivan’s ability, and them being blown away was all an act, so there was no damage being done.

  Incidentally, the children were split half-and-half into those who were scared, and those whose eyes were shining with excitement as they watched Ivan fight. The sounds were pretty loud, after all. There was something to be said for not making the effects too showy.

  The children who were frightened naturally huddled with Juna and Roroa, who told them, “Don’t worry, It’s going to be okay,” and, “That guy’s gonna beat ’em up, so ya don’t have to worry,” in order to calm them down.

  Eventually, Ivan finished defeating all of the minions.

  However, Miss Dran kept her self-assured smile. “Heh heh heh. You’re not bad, Ivan Juniro. Well, what will you do about this, then? Come forth, paper box monster, Danbox!”

  “Danbooooox! ...That’s me.” With those words, a monster that looked like a person made out of cardboard boxes appeared.

  While it had slanted eyes made out of paper on its face... on the whole, it looked kind of lame. Its silhouette totally made it look like it was constructed out of Le** blocks, and there was a scratching sound every time its joints moved.

  Liscia looked coldly at Danbox. “Isn’t that monster a little low quality compared to the rest?”

  “We had passion,” I said. “What we lacked was time and budget.”

  “It really is a harsh world, huh...”

  I couldn’t make a full-sized kigurumi suit by myself. If I was going to order it from somewhere, that would take time. That was why, this time, I had ended up okaying that totally slapdash monster. It was a reminder of how hard things must have been for the people who made the enemy monsters in the early tokusatsu shows.

  Still, while it might have looked kind of bland, Danbox was strong. When it attacked Ivan, it lifted the 180 centimeter tall, 90 kilogram man as easily as a surfer picking up a surfboard. Then, like a wrestler showing off their strength, Danbox spun in place, maintaining its pose as it did.

  That ridiculous strength that defied its appearance dumbfounded Liscia. “That’s some incredible monster strength. Oh! Could it be, the person inside is...”

  “Yep. It’s Aisha.”

  “What’re you making your future second primary queen do...?” she groaned.

  “It’s a bit late to say that when Juna and Roroa are both already in the program. You want in, too, Liscia? If you act now, the role of Ivan’s sidekick is still open.”

  “Not. A. Chance.”

  At that point, Ivan began to struggle. “Darn you, let me go!”

  “I am Danboooox.”

  “Gwah!”

  Perhaps Ivan’s words had gotten through to the monster, because Danbox nodded and threw him hard towards a wall that had been prepared for just that purpose. When he slammed into it, Ivan punched through the wall.

  By the way, it was made of light materials to make it easy for him to go through, so he was only a little hurt. However, Ivan acted as if he were grievously injured, groaning in pain.

  “Urgh, what a powerful monster...”

  “Daaaan, bo, bo, box! That’s me.” Danbox laughed (?) triumphantly.

  Ivan pulled himself out of the wall, stumbling, then turned to face the children and shouted. “If this keep up, we’re going to lose. All of you good children, lend me your power!”

  Roroa and Juna explained to the kids what he meant.

  “All right, everyone,” Roroa said. “Go and spin the glowin’ sticks we gave ya. Shout, ‘You can do it!’”

  “Let’s all send Big Brother Ivan our power,” Juna told them. “One, two...”

  “““You can do it!”””

  At those two’s prompting, the children started using the glowing sticks that were about the size of a piece of chalk to draw circles.

  We’d handed out those sticks before the program started. They glowed faintly because lightmoss, which was used in the city’s streetlights because it absorbed light and then released it in the darkness, had been kneaded into them.

  Ivan continued to act like he was in pain as he turned to the children and shouted, “It’s not enough! Not yet! Do it louder, I’m counting on you!”

  It always gets kids fired up when an adult says they’re counting on them.

  This time, when they cheered him on, they were louder and more serious than the last. “““You can do iiiiit!”””

  “More! Even louder!”

  “““You can do iiiiiiiiiiiiiit!”””

  The children shouted until their throats were almost raw, and in the next moment...

  “All right! I’ve definitely received the kids’ energy!”

  Ivan’s body was enveloped in a flash of light. Then, Ivan’s voice echoed from inside the light.

  “Transform!”

  When it did, a set of metallic armor, bracers, and a modified sallet helm with a full-face visor came flying from out of nowhere. Ivan stood still with his arms and legs spread wide as the pieces “automatically” put themselves on him. That cool transformation scene made the children cheer.

  Meanwhile, at that time, I was behind the stage using my Living Poltergeists ability to manipulate the metallic equipment. Yes, I controlled Ivan’s equipment with my ability to make it look like he was automatically being equipped with it. Because, at this range, I could do that even if they weren’t dolls.

  Liscia was watching me with the who-knows-how-many-th look of exasperation I had seen from her today. “That’s a horrible waste of your ability.”

  “Hey, a trick is a trick, even if it’s just a party trick,” I said. “Now, time to get going.”

  “Hey, wait, Souma?!”

  Once I had confirmed that Ivan’s gear was fully equipped, I moved next to the Jewel Voice Broadcast’s jewel, making sure I didn’t appear on the broadcast as I did. Meanwhile, in the hall, the flash of light subsided, and the hero dressed in metallic equipment appeared. Ivan struck the transformation complete pose, and shouted.

  “Charge! Silvan!”

  Once he had given his name, I spoke into the jewel so that only my voice would appear in the broadcast. “Allow me to explain. When Ivan Juniro the Exercise Guy receiv
es energy from children, he transforms into the metallic hero Silvan.” I clenched my fist as I explained with gusto.

  It was a genre standard to have narration explain after the hero’s transformation. I wasn’t going to do the thing where they go back and look at the transformation process scene again, though.

  With my role finished, I went back to Liscia’s side. She looked horribly exhausted.

  “I don’t know, it’s starting to feel stupid to say anything...”

  “Tokusatsu is very much a ‘Don’t think, feel,’ sort of thing,” I explained. “If you don’t think about it too deeply, just go with the flow, there’s nothing more fun to watch.”

  “...I’ll do that.”

  Now then, turning the story back to the hall, the transformed Silvan was strong.

  Danbox had been toying with him earlier, but now he showered the monster with a flurry of punches and kicks, keeping it on the defensive the whole time.

  Strong. You’re strong, Silvan, everyone had to be thinking. The children were all worked up, too.

  “Da, dan... box...” Eventually, Danbox stumbled and took a knee.

  Now was his chance!

  “Eat this, Danbox! Ultimate Thunderclap Kick!”

  When Silvan unleashed a flying kick, lightning raced along the tip of his foot. That lightning-infused kick stabbed into Danbox.

  I know I keep saying this, but the lightning was a product of his ability. It was, in effect, just a flying kick, so it didn’t hurt Aisha, the person inside Danbox, at all.

  However, Danbox stumbled backwards a few steps.

  Leaving behind a cry of, “Da... Danboooooooox! That’s me!” it exploded scattering parts in all directions.

  Of course, all that really happened was that it hid while Ivan’s ability generated the explosion effect.

  With Danbox defeated, Miss Dran, the evil female commander who hadn’t had much to do while she was watching the two of them fight, stamped her feet in indignation as if she had just remembered what she was supposed to be doing.

  “Curse you, Silvan! I’ll let you off lightly this time! When I come back, you’d better be ready!”