“I can tell.”
Keith met us in the parking lot, and my breath hitched at the sight of him striding toward us in his dress blue uniform. I’d never seen him so strong and handsome, and it was all I could do not to jump into his arms.
Drew gave a low whistle. “Wow, Dad! You look amazing.”
“You look pretty good yourself. You all do.” Keith’s eyes met mine, causing my heart to skitter across my chest.
“Can I hold your sword?” Drew asked.
Keith pulled it from the sheath attached to the side of his belt. “Be careful, okay? And it’s called a saber. Swords are for the Navy and Marine Corp. The Army carries sabers.”
“Cool.” Drew carefully took ahold of the saber with a competence that both surprised and scared me.
“Any luck with the memory, today?” Matt asked.
Keith shook his head. “No.”
“Oh, I thought putting on your uniform might help you remember.”
“I thought it might, too.” Keith patted Matt on the back. “Unfortunately, no such luck. I did remember something the night that colt was born.”
“What?” we all asked.
Keith looked at me with a sheepish grin. “Do you remember a few years ago when I brought the boys home and you were upset because Bella had been sprayed by a skunk?”
I nodded. “You helped me bathe her in tomato juice, but that only made the stink worse.”
We all wrinkled our noses with disgust, and Matt said, “Mom was mad because we used the guest towels to dry off Bella.”
Keith and the boys laughed, but I pretended to be angry. “Hey, those were really nice towels.”
“We know, Mom,” Drew said, causing everyone to laugh.
We walked into the church where my father greeted Keith with a firm handshake. “How’d your meeting go today?”
“Interesting,” Keith said. “After we had coffee yesterday, I—”
After we had coffee? I couldn’t concentrate on anything else. “You two had coffee together?”
My father stopped talking and grinned at me. “We did. Is that a problem?”
“No, I’m just surprised neither one of you told me, that’s all.”
My father winked. “I didn’t know I needed your permission to grab a cup of coffee with Keith.”
I shook my head. Why had they gone to coffee together, and what had they talked about? Me? I wanted to ask but couldn’t risk further scrutiny, so I remained silent.
We went into the sanctuary where my parents sat in the front row with Anna’s parents. Next to them were Nick’s dad and his new stepmom who was pregnant with her first child. That wasn’t as weird as it sounded given the fact that Gina was my age.
Still, Nick and his father would have newborns at the same time, not the most conventional family dynamics, but I was happy for all of them.
Vicki, Bianca, Matt, Drew, and I sat in the second row with Keith at the end of the pew since he was part of the saber arch and would have to leave at the end of the service.
A few of Nick’s friends had flown in for the wedding, including several men in their uniforms, but none of them looked half as handsome as Keith. Before the ceremony began, Keith slid onto the kneeler in front of us and bowed his head in silent prayer. The sight of any man kneeling in prayer always gave me goose bumps, but I could hardly contain myself seeing Keith humble himself before God like that.
I followed his lead by kneeling beside him and resting my arms on the pew in front of me. Silently, I thanked God for the beautiful day, my family, and my renewed relationship with Keith.
While I was praying, Keith slipped his hand in mine. I looked up at him, and we exchanged a smile. Then he gave my hand a squeeze and settled back in the pew. I remained kneeling, overwhelmed with peace, gratitude, and an excitement I could hardly contain.
Looking around, I took in the serene setting. I’d grown up in this church and had spent years listening to the gospel, professing my faith, and praying for guidance. God had never let me down, even when He hadn’t given me what I thought I needed.
Today, I had no doubt, He still had my best interests in mind.
I finished praying and sat back in the pew. Keith leaned over and took my hand. “You’re beautiful, Jills.”
I shivered and squeezed his hand. The music began, and my nephew Travis entered the church from the side door with Nick and the pastor. I’d been a bridesmaid when Anna married Marcus, but this time, Anna wanted to keep things simple, so her children were the only attendants.
Eleven-year-old Hailey walked down the aisle, holding her baby sister’s hand. Everyone smiled at the toddler who’d recently started walking. At first, Gabby acted shy, hiding behind her sister, but when she saw Nick, she broke into a run, screaming, “Daddy! Daddy, Daddy, Daddy!”
The entire congregation laughed as Nick scooped up his daughter and hugged her tightly. Gabby pointed toward the back of the church where Anna and her father stood, ready to walk down the aisle.
The wedding march began, and the guests rose. Tears filled my eyes. I’d never been much of a public crier, but I couldn’t help it this time. I was just so happy for Anna, Nick, and their children.
The wedding continued, and when the pastor pronounced Nick and Anna husband and wife, everyone stood and applauded. The happy couple kissed, and several people, including Nick’s dad, wiped their eyes.
“That’s my cue.” Keith made his escape down the outside aisle to join the saber arch.
Drew turned in his seat and pointed at the two, tight rows of eight soldiers wearing dress blues. “Here they come.” The men marched down the center aisle toward the altar before stopping and turning to face each other.
At the command of, “Arch Sabers,” they lifted their sabers in the air so their metal tips nearly touched. “Ladies and gentlemen,” Keith’s strong voice called out. “It is my honor to present to you Captain and Mrs. Nick Peterson; and their children Travis, Hailey, and Gabriella Peterson.”
Not a sound was heard as Nick, Anna, and the kids followed the beautiful age-old tradition of passing under the saber arch. I was moved and reminded of my own walk underneath the arch. My life as the wife of a military officer hadn’t been all bad. I’d loved the camaraderie among the spouses and the strong sense of purpose we’d shared. The deployments had been rough, but I’d survived.
Even so, I admired Anna for overcoming her fears and allowing herself to fall in love with another soldier. Would she be able to survive that first deployment? How? Love and faith?
Could love and faith really conquer all?
I wanted to believe because love could be so amazing, but love could also devastate you, changing you forever. I suppose that’s where faith came in. You had to trust in God’s divine plan. Trust in the promises He made never to leave or abandon you.
Drew nudged me. “If you and Dad get married again, I want to walk under the saber arch with you, okay?”
“Drew.”
He put a finger to his lips. “Don’t talk, Mom. Just think about it, okay?”
“I don’t know what will happen—”
“It’s okay. I just wanted to tell you about the arch.”
I nodded, and we turned our attention back to the service. Nick, Anna, and their family continued moving forward until they were stopped by two lowered sabers. One of the soldiers shouted out his demand. “The price to pass is one kiss.”
Nick didn’t hesitate. Taking his bride in his arms, he kissed her as the congregation went wild, cheering for the young couple.
The sabers lifted and Nick led Anna through the line, only to have the last soldier swat her on the rump with his saber. “Welcome to the Army, Ma’am!”
The crowd hollered with amusement. Anna just smiled as Nick gave her another kiss.
Chapter 33
Lyla
When Ronnie requested that Avery spend the night at the villa, Lyla automatically said no. She and Avery had never slept apart, and Lyla was certain Avery wouldn�
��t want to go.
“Can we at least ask her?” Ronnie stood on Lyla’s front porch. He’d just brought Avery home from the park and his cheeks were flushed from spending time in the sun.
“What about your wife?” Lyla asked.
“She’ll be there, too.”
“And she’s okay with all of this?”
Ronnie smiled his I-can-pretty-much-get-away-with-anything smile. “I’m not going to say it’s been easy, but even though Mary has never had children, she understands how important Avery is to me.”
“I don’t know,” Lyla said.
“I know it’s a big step, but how else am I going to spend time with Avery? I can’t exactly hang out at your house anymore, and while taking her to the park is enjoyable, it’s not really a long-term solution.”
Although he had a point, Lyla didn’t like the idea of Avery being gone so long.
“If it makes you feel more comfortable, you can spend the night, too,” Ronnie suggested. “The villa has plenty of rooms you can choose from, and I promise I won’t try anything. Mary might not approve, but Avery’s needs come first.”
In the end, Lyla agreed to Ronnie’s request with the stipulation that he’d bring Avery home if she became homesick or changed her mind about staying.
“I really go Daddy’s house? All night?” Avery asked when she heard the news.
“You don’t have to go if you don’t want to.” Lyla hoped Avery would change her mind. “I’m not going to be there, so if you’d rather just go for dinner, you can.”
“No, I spend night at Daddy’s house. I want to.”
So, Friday afternoon, Lyla watched nervously as Avery climbed into Ronnie’s car and waved good-bye. “I not homesick, Mommy. I got Daddy.”
Lyla fought back tears. “Call me before you go to bed so I can say good night.”
“I will.”
Ronnie closed Avery’s door and waved at Lyla. “Enjoy your night of freedom. I’ll bring her back in the morning.”
Lyla exhaled slowly, praying she wasn’t making a horrible mistake. Justine had been vehemently opposed to the plan, insisting Lyla needed to hire a lawyer to protect her custody rights.
“I don’t have money for a lawyer,” Lyla had said. “Besides, Ronnie doesn’t want custody. I know he’s made mistakes in the past, but he’s Avery’s father. He loves her and would never do anything to harm her, including taking her away from me.”
But as Ronnie backed out of the driveway with the most important person in Lyla’s life, she had no idea how she’d make the through the night.
Chapter 34
Jillian
After the wedding ceremony, we drove out to the ranch for an elaborate buffet-style dinner with pasta, seafood, prime rib, locally grown fruit, vegetables, and fresh bread from Vicki’s Bakery. Toasts and speeches ensued, then darkness fell and the hundreds of white garden lights my sisters and I had strung in the backyard twinkled, casting a magical glow over the celebration.
From the back porch, I watched Anna lean into Nick as they danced. Gabby sat nearby in Bianca’s lap, eating a piece of wedding cake while Travis, Hailey, Drew, and Matt stood next to Keith and my parents by the chocolate fountain. I imagined they were making plans to decorate Anna and Nick’s car, something my mother had been conspiring about with Matt all week.
As the band began playing Luke Bryan’s song, “Do I,” Keith looked up and locked eyes with me. My soul leapt toward him, screaming, This is him! This is the man you are supposed to be with. Don’t be afraid!
Keith strode toward me, and my heart whacked against my rib cage. Wordlessly, he took my hand and led me to the dance floor. His arms encircled my waist, pulling me against him. He smelled so good, and when I laid my head on his chest, I couldn’t imagine being happier.
He leaned back so he could see my face, then he traced my lower lip with his thumb. “What do you think everyone would say if I kissed you right now?”
“I don’t know. Why don’t we find out?”
He grinned, but instead of kissing me, his face grew serious. “I love you, Jills. Always have, always will.”
I swallowed hard. “I love you, too.”
He lowered his head and pressed his lips to mine. Swept away by his kiss, I could no longer hear the music over the wild beating of my heart. Fear told me Keith’s amnesia made our future uncertain, but I wasn’t afraid of uncertainty any more. And I wasn’t afraid of getting hurt. I just wanted to be with him.
Tightening my grip around his neck, I nestled closer.
But suddenly, before the song ended, something changed. Darkness fell over us, and before I could see the look of fear on Keith’s stricken face, I felt it in his shoulders.
“What?” I asked.
He stepped away from me.
“Keith, what’s wrong?”
All the color drained from his face, and he shook his head. “I’ve got to see Lyla.”
“Lyla?” My stomach lurched. “What are you talking about?”
“I can’t explain, Jills. Just trust me, okay?”
“Trust you about what?”
Instead of answering, he turned and walked off the dance floor, leaving me alone, my heart in my throat and my stomach churning. I called after him, but he kept walking.
Was he leaving me? Leaving our life and everything I’d dared to believe in again?
Or should I trust him by clinging to his promise that he would always love me?
Chapter 35
Keith
Until that moment on the dance floor, I’d forgotten about it. When I’d awoken in the hospital last month, all I’d wanted was my wife and family. I couldn’t imagine a life without them.
Kissing Jillian caused everything to disappear except the two of us. I’d lost myself in her touch and the tenderness of her kiss.
Then, a memory hit me hard, slapping me like a hand across the face.
I’d left Jillian, afraid she’d be able to read my thoughts if I stayed. Alone in my truck, driving toward town, I envisioned Lyla sitting on the couch in her living room after Marcus’s memorial service. I’d been drunk and had wanted her to do something for me.
What?
The answer was right there, just out of my reach. It frustrated me not to be able to capture it.
I turned onto Lyla’s street, and my memory shifted to the next morning. I must’ve passed out on her couch because I awoke with a horrible hangover to find her standing above me, holding my phone.
“It’s your wife,” she’d said.
My stomach roiled from both the alcohol and the realization I hadn’t gone home last night. What would Jillian think, especially given the fact Lyla answered my phone?
I had to stop drinking. Had to end this turmoil inside me. Had to get it together.
“You’ve been with Lyla all night?” Jillian had asked, her voice breaking.
“It’s not what you think. I fell asleep and—”
“I’m at the hospital. The baby—” A giant sob wracked her body, preventing her from finishing the sentence.
Vicki’s voice came on the line. “Keith, get over here now!”
The memory continued unfolding, and I saw Lyla driving me to the hospital. In the ER, Jillian lay on her side, turned away from me. “I’m so sorry,” I’d said, rubbing her back, willing her to understand. “Nothing happened. You’ve got to believe me. Lyla and I were just talking.”
Jillian glared at me, rage in her red and swollen eyes. “I lost the baby, and you weren’t here!”
“I know. I’m sorry.”
“You were with Lyla all night.”
“Just talking. I should’ve been here with you.”
I tried to hold her, but she pushed me away. “You and Lyla were just talking? All night?”
I nodded, desperate for her to believe me.
Large tears rolled down her face. “You were talking with Lyla, but you won’t talk to me? Why won’t you talk to me? Why won’t you tell me what’s wrong? Why do you keep shu
tting me out?”
I’m trying to protect you, I thought but didn’t dare say. An enormous weight pressed down on me. I’d desperately wanted to tell Jillian the truth. Desperately wanted to tell her that Lyla had confirmed everything I feared.
But I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t look at her tear-stained face and dump even more grief on her life. No, I hadn’t been able to protect Marcus, but I would protect my wife.
Now pulling into Lyla’s driveway, I parked my truck. What was I doing here? I didn’t need Lyla to confirm the secret I already knew. The secret that had nothing to do with infidelity. I hadn’t been unfaithful to Jillian. I’d lied to her. I’d betrayed her trust by keeping a horrible secret about her brother even after she begged me for the truth. But I hadn’t cheated.
No, all those years ago, I’d wanted Lyla to help me make things right, but she’d refused. She’d insisted it was our duty not to say anything. I hadn’t known at the time she was protecting her own interests. Without Lyla’s testimony, I couldn’t say anything. So, the guilt of that secret fueled my drinking and eventually destroyed my marriage.
Leaning my head on the steering wheel, I felt the full weight of my impossible situation. Unless I told Jillian the truth that had haunted me all these years, I was going to lose her again.
But confessing would shatter her, so what was I supposed to do?
I was suddenly desperate for a drink. I thought of the burning liquid sliding down my throat, offering sweet relief. Squeezing my eyes tight, I tried to block out the need, but all I could think about was the alcohol.
I restarted the engine, put the truck in reverse, and headed toward the liquor store.
Chapter 36
Jillian
I’d been waiting on Keith’s boat for hours when he finally pulled his truck into the harbor parking lot. As he walked toward me, I released the breath I’d been holding, relieved he didn’t appear to be drunk. Although he walked with his head down, his gait was steady.
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