A Hard Choice for Hanna [Hardwick Bay 2] (Siren Publishing Ménage Amour)

by Morgan Henry

  She arrived at the diamond barely in time for the game. The first thing she noted was that Kent wasn’t there, but Carter was. She wondered where Kent could be? He loved playing and wouldn’t miss a game unless something serious was going on.

  Carter seemed to be avoiding her during the game, and she didn’t blame him. She felt so guilty about how she had treated the men. Goodness, she was tired of feeling guilty. She knew a lot of it was her own fault. Her failure to communicate with her parents and her men, and to be honest with herself, was to blame. The only thing to do was to try to make it right.

  After the game, Hanna put herself right in front of Carter.

  “Can I please apologize to you?” Hanna asked softly.

  Carter didn’t answer right away. Hanna could see the muscles of his jaw twitch, and he still wouldn’t look at her. Finally, he sighed and met her eyes. His voice was quiet when he spoke. “I thought you weren’t talking to us.”

  “I messed everything up,” Hanna admitted. “Can I tell you what happened?”

  Carter looked at her. His brown eyes were guarded. “Lisa threatened bodily harm if I didn’t hear you out, but she didn’t need to. We do need to talk. Let’s go sit by the water.”

  They walked over to the shore and found a bench at the edge of the park that gave them a bit of privacy. Hanna found it somewhat ironic that they were having this conversation in a beautiful, romantic setting. The sun was setting behind them, casting shadows over the blue water. There were little waves lapping on the shore and Hanna could see an osprey swirling over the water.

  She was shaking as she tried to begin their conversation. She was terrified that Kent’s absence meant that they were over with no chance of reconciliation.

  “Where’s Kent?” she asked.

  It took Carter a moment to answer. “He’s angry with you. He didn’t want to see you, so he skipped the last game.” His tone was carefully neutral.

  “I can’t blame him.” There was an awkward silence before she continued. There was a little sob in her voice as she continued. “I wouldn’t want to see me after the way I’ve treated you two. I’m sorry. That doesn’t make up for my actions, but I am sorry.”

  “So are you going to try to explain?” Carter’s voice was gentle.

  Hanna cringed a little. “When I went to see my parents, my mom told me that if I continued to see the two of you, she and Dad would disown me. They’d never see me again. I was devastated. My parents have always said that family was the most important thing, that family was the only thing you could depend on and that to turn your back on them was one of the worst things you could do. I couldn’t imagine not having a family.”

  “So that was the end of us,” Carter stated.

  “Yes and no. The problem is, I fell in love with you two. I didn’t say it, and I should have. So when I was being forced to choose between my family and you, I didn’t know what to do. I capitulated to my family’s demands that I cease all contact with you, but I was miserable. I couldn’t think beyond the horrible black pit of misery that I was mired in.”

  Chapter 26

  Carter was certain that his heart stopped. Had Hanna really said she loved them? God, he hoped so. If she loved them, maybe they could find a way out of this mess. He felt lucky that he had gotten what he wanted—a chance to talk to Hanna. He didn’t even have to work for it, but he knew this was only the beginning.

  “So what are you saying?” he asked Hanna. “Are you making a choice?”

  “I’m trying to figure that out,” she replied. “I wanted to talk to you and Kent and see if there was anything left to salvage, first.”

  Carter didn’t reply for a minute. He wanted Hanna still. He couldn’t help but hope that the three of them could salvage this mess, but he really didn’t know about Kent.

  “I have to be honest with you Hanna, I don’t know if Kent can get past this.” Carter’s voice sounded weary.

  “I know I’ve messed this up horribly. No matter what, I realize I have to talk to my parents. They were wrong to unilaterally reject me. They always preached that family stuck together, but they weren’t willing to hear me out when I did something unexpected. I know that I should have talked to them sooner and eased them into this more gently. I take responsibility for that. Now we need to communicate without the anger and prejudice.”

  “That sounds like a good thing to do,” Carter said neutrally.

  “I know I have no right to ask this of you, but could you please tell Kent I’m sorry?” Carter could hear the tears in Hanna’s voice. “I would really like to talk to him at some point. I would really like the chance to tell him in person how sorry I am.”

  Carter was silent for a minute as he debated on what to tell Hanna. He finally decided to take a chance that things would eventually work out and told her about Lena. And he told her how Kent would see Hanna’s rejection as a betrayal and confirm Kent’s thoughts that a ménage was unattainable. Kent would have assumed that because she dated both men from the start she wouldn’t have been swayed by anyone’s prejudice about ménages.

  Hanna put her head in her hands. “Oh my God. I’ve totally ruined this. I can’t believe how badly I’ve hurt Kent. And you.” She looked up at Carter, tears streaming down her face.

  Hanna’s tears still had the capacity to hurt Carter. He still loved her enough that he couldn’t bear to see her cry. “I haven’t completely given up on us, but I have to know, what are you going to do? Is it us or your parents?”

  Hanna choked back another sob. “I don’t know. I have to talk to my parents before I can decide.”

  “Then you should talk to them. I’ll tell Kent you’re sorry, but that’s it until you figure out what’s going on.”

  * * * *

  Kent heard Carter’s truck return from ball. He knew he was being an ass, not showing up for the last game, and he did regret it. It was childish of him. He was still angry with Hanna, but the anger was fading. He could admit that he was hurting from her rejection. If he was really honest, he could admit he still loved her. That’s why her rejection in the face of any adversity hurt so badly.

  He leaned against the wall as Carter came in. “Well?”

  “We lost,” Carter informed him.

  “I’m sorry. I should have gone,” Kent apologized.

  “I wish you had. Hanna talked to me. She sent her apologies to you.”

  Kent cursed his traitorous heart as it leaped in his chest. He shouldn’t feel hope. They were done, weren’t they? “She did?” Kent thought his voice was steady.

  “Yeah. Her parents told her they would disown her if she had any more contact with us.” Carter walked over to the fridge.

  “So that was it for us then? No discussion, no explanation?” Kent held out his hand for a beer.

  “They told her she couldn’t contact us anymore. She was miserable, couldn’t think and couldn’t act. I think Lisa helped pull her head out of her ass.” Carter handed Kent a beer and opened his own.

  Kent considered this as they walked out to the deck. He didn’t want to stop being angry with her, but he could see how she would have been completely overcome by her parents’ ultimatum. Damn it, she still shouldn’t have given up on them so quickly, though. If she gave up on them after the first hardship hit their relationship, what would happen later?

  “So now that her head’s out of her ass, she expects what?” Kent’s voice was sharp. He knew he sounded like a jerk.

  “She doesn’t expect anything. She wants to apologize to you. She feels terrible that she hurt us.” Carter sounded like his patience was running thin.

  “Great, she’s sorry. But we’re still done.” Kent wasn’t sure if that was a question or a statement.

  “I don’t think she wants to be done, but she has to talk to her parents first. If they insist on disowning her, I don’t know what she’ll do. I think she’s starting to be a little angry with them at the way they treated her.”

  “Great. She’s angry. I’m angry
. Lots of anger going around.”

  “You’re not really angry anymore, Kent. You’re hurt, and you’re scared to hope that we could still be together, because that’s what you really want.” Carter knew he was hitting a nerve. “Look, you can choose to let the memories of what happened with Lena ruin this, or you can give us all another chance. I’m not saying we’re guaranteed to get back together, but we can at least give it a chance.”

  Kent didn’t answer for a long time, he just stared at the backyard. Stared at the flowers Hanna had planted, at the hot tub where they had made love. He missed her, but he was still pissed off. Could he choose to forgive her?

  Chapter 27

  Hanna had been staring at the phone since she got home from talking to Carter. That had been at least fifteen minutes ago. She was trying to get up enough courage to call her parents. Why was this so hard? She knew why—she was scared.

  Finally, hands shaking, she picked up the phone and dialed.

  “Hello,” her dad answered the phone.

  “Hi, Dad.” Hanna’s voice didn’t shake too badly.

  “Well, hello there, stranger!” Harry sounded quite cheerful. “Where have you been? I’ve missed talking to you.”

  Hanna was terribly confused. “What?”

  “Well, you haven’t called in a couple of weeks. Your mom said you were going to be busy, but you usually call and talk to me anyway.”

  Hanna couldn’t speak. Did her mother not tell her dad what had happened?

  “Hey,” came her dad’s concerned voice over the line. “What’s going on? Surely you can tell me?”

  “Did Mom not tell you?” asked Hanna.

  “Tell me what?”

  “The man I was seeing, it was actually two men that wanted a ménage relationship. She found out and was angry. She said you wouldn’t have anything to do with me unless I broke it off.” Hanna’s voice cracked at the end.

  Now it was Harry’s turn to be silent.

  “Dad?” Hanna’s voice was very small.

  “Hanna, my wonderful daughter, I would not give you up because you were in a ménage. Know that for sure.” Harry voice was firm and gentle. “When are you off this week?”

  “Tomorrow,” Hanna replied.

  “I will be at your place at noon, and I’ll bring lunch. Okay?”

  “Okay, Dad.”

  “I love you, Hanna. Good-bye.”

  “I love you, too, Dad.”

  Hanna was both relieved and confused when she hung up the phone. Her Dad didn’t want to disown her. A huge emotional burden was now gone. But why had her mother said what she had? Linda had made it clear that both parents were disgusted and upset with Hanna. It seemed as if she had lied. So what was really going on?

  * * * *

  Hanna heard her dad’s car pull up promptly at noon. She was sitting out on the back patio, Tink in her lap, as she tried to read her book. Reading wasn’t going well as she was fretting about the upcoming conversation with her dad.

  Harry strolled around to the back patio with a bag in his hand. From the looks of the logo on the bag, he had stopped and picked up lunch from The Cottage. He set the bag on the table and walked over to Hanna as she stood up. He wrapped her in a big hug and held her for a few moments.

  It felt so good to have a hug from her dad. Hanna’s worries eased a bit with the physical contact, but she was still concerned about what he would have to say.

  He broke the hug and pulled her over to the table. “I got us burgers and fries. Not the healthiest lunch, but I think we both need some comfort food.” He opened up the bag and pulled out the take-out containers.

  Hanna grabbed some ketchup and utensils from the kitchen and pulled out a chair for herself. They busied themselves with attacking the excellent food for a few minutes. Then Harry spoke.

  “So, tell me about the two men who captured my daughter’s heart.” His voice held curiosity, not censure.

  “Kent and Carter are really wonderful guys. They’re kind, gentle, funny, handsome. I like that I can be myself when I’m with them. But I think I’ve messed it all up,” Hanna confessed.

  “Why is that?”

  “When Mom said I had to choose between them and you, I didn’t talk to them, didn’t explain. They’re pretty hurt and angry with me.”

  Harry sighed. “Well, there’s a whole mess of hurt and anger going around right now.” They ate in silence for a few more minutes. Then Harry spoke again.

  “I want to explain a few things to you, and some of it isn’t easy to say, or easy to hear for that matter. Can you just listen for a few minutes?”

  Hanna nodded.

  “Your mother and I have not been getting along for quite some time now. We haven’t really been right for years, but the past eight months have been particularly bad. The details are our own, as our daughter you don’t need to know them, and you shouldn’t. That’s not your burden to carry. Suffice to say that we have been for counseling, but that has failed and we are separating. We’re most likely getting a divorce. I’m staying with some friends and will be moving into an apartment in September.

  “Your mother lied when she told you I would disown you for wanting a ménage. I didn’t know anything about it until yesterday. I love you, Hanna. All I want for you is to be happy. If these men are good to you, and you are happy with them, then I’m fine with it. I hope they are as good as you believe them to be. If they are, I know you’ll be able to work all of this mess out.”

  Hanna was speechless, too much running through her head to be able to form a sentence. Her dad gave her a few minutes to process what he said.

  “Hanna, can you tell me what you’re thinking?” he asked gently.

  She took a deep breath. “I was just thinking about how all my life, you emphasized the importance of family and how they didn’t let each other go. Does this mean we’re letting Mom go?”

  “I guess the way I look at it is that we’re not letting her go, she’s unable to accept us for the way we are. I don’t think either of us is asking her to do anything other than let us live the way we want. I’m not prepared to shut you out of my life because of your relationship. I’m not prepared to give up many of my friends because she doesn’t like the way they live. I hate the idea of giving up on family, I really do. That’s why I’ve stayed for the past few years, but I won’t give you up.” Harry took Hanna’s hand at this last statement.

  “Don’t think that this is all because of you or that it’s somehow your fault,” he continued. “We’ve had problems for a while. And I’ve had to readjust some of my thinking about what is acceptable in my relationships. Prejudice, bigotry, intolerance, and hatred have no place in any family I want to be a part of. That’s what’s at the heart of this. Can you understand that?”

  Hanna nodded. “I think so. I’m sad, though. It’s so hard to think of you two apart. Are you going to be okay?”

  “I feel relieved more than anything. Now that I’ve made the decision to go, and told you, I can get on with life. But what about you?” he asked.

  “I’m overwhelmed. I’m so relieved you don’t hate me. That was killing me, the thought that you didn’t want to see me.” Hanna was almost in tears just thinking about it. “I guess I don’t know where to go from here. I want to get back together with Kent and Carter, but that means Mom won’t have anything more to do with me, will she?”

  “No, my dear, she won’t. I told her I would be speaking to you today and telling you what’s been going on between us. And that I would be a part of your life whether you decided to continue seeing your men or not.” He hesitated. “She told me to tell you she hasn’t changed her mind, and that if you continue to see two men, she won’t have anything to do with you. I’m so sorry, honey.”

  “I didn’t think she would change her mind, but part of me hoped, you know?” Hanna tried to hold back her tears, but couldn’t. She sobbed into her dad’s shoulder.

  “I know, honey,” he whispered. “It’s okay to cry. I wish the si
tuation were different, too.”

  After Hanna’s tears were spent, they sat together silently for a few minutes. Harry stood and cleaned up the remains of lunch. He made a pot of coffee and came out with cups for both of them.

  “I wrote down where I’m staying and how you can contact me on the pad in the kitchen. My new cell number is there, too. I want you to call me often,” he said, smiling at her. “No more misinformation, okay?”

  “Okay, Dad.” Hanna was also able to smile now.

  “Now, how are we going to get you back together with your men?”

  “I think that’s something I have to work on for myself, Dad.” Hanna couldn’t quite imagine adding her dad into the mess with the VanLindts.

  “Okay, but you have to let me know how things are going.” Harry had a little frown on his face.

  Hanna rolled her eyes. “Nosey,” she accused.

  “Now worse than ever,” he agreed cheerfully. “I can’t wait to meet them. I have faith in your ability to charm them back.”

  Hanna wasn’t so sure.

  Chapter 28

  Hanna was once again on the patio, contemplating all that had gone on over the past few days. It was late in the afternoon, and she was sitting on a lounge chair in the shade of the mature trees. Of course, Tink was in her lap. Friday after her dad left, she had thrown herself into her chores, not wanting to think about anything. The gardens were now completely weed free and the house was spotless. Saturday, she had worked at Three Pines and then taken an overnight shift at the emergency clinic. There was definitely no time to dwell on her own problems there.

  First, she thought about her mom. She recalled her dad’s words about not wanting prejudice and hatred in a family. She could agree with that. If she did stay in a ménage, she didn’t want to subject her men to ongoing verbal abuse from her mother. For that matter, she shouldn’t accept verbal or emotional abuse from her mother, either. She chose to be herself, and to be with Kent and Carter, over her relationship with her mom.