Rituals for Love (9781476761893)

by Ray, Shamara

  Jade entered carrying her purse and laptop bag. I went around the counter and took the laptop from her, placing it on the table. I slowly drew her into a hug. “Hey, babe.”

  “Hi,” she replied, clinging to me.

  “Do you want a drink?”

  She pulled back from the hug. “No, I’m okay.”

  “It’s good to see you.”

  “It’s good to be seen.”

  “Oh, okay.” I regarded her for a moment. She wasn’t quite frowning, but it was right beneath the surface. “Come on out back.”

  We both went into the yard. I set my drink down on the table and we sat across from one another.

  “I’m glad you made your flight.”

  “Humph.” I shook my head. “You know what’s funny?”

  “No, I don’t,” she said dryly.

  “I don’t know where to start.” I didn’t know if I should address what was going on with our relationship or our business first. It was a precarious situation that we never had to deal with in the past.

  “If you don’t, then I do.”

  I took a taste of my drink. “I’m listening.”

  “You made a comment last week that really got under my skin.”

  “That I need to live a little? Why would that bother you?”

  “Because you insinuated that it was due to me that you weren’t living.”

  “I mentioned to you that I wanted to continue with an annual tradition, and the feedback I received was that I shouldn’t because of work obligations.”

  “What’s wrong with me saying that?”

  “Do you realize just how much I’m working on any given day, week, or month for that matter? I don’t engage in a lot of diversions. You and I spend our time together and there’s not much else that I do on a large scale. The annual barbecue was pretty much it.”

  “I didn’t ask you not to host this year.”

  “I never said that you did.”

  “What you did say was that your lifestyle was different. You were traveling and hanging with your friends. Oh, and that you don’t need my opinion to do what you want to do.”

  “That’s not how I meant it.”

  She looked down at the table. “Well, that’s how it came across.” Her phone vibrated and she ignored it.

  “When I was in Atlanta, I realized that I never do anything in that city other than work. I own a house there, a business, a car, yet, I don’t take time to live or enjoy myself while I’m there. And with my new real estate project, I’m going to be there even more. It made me think about being here in New York and how I canceled the one constant manifestation of taking time to enjoy the fruits of my labor.”

  “What does that mean? That what you and I do isn’t living?”

  “I’m not saying that at all. You and I are something completely different. I’m talking about enjoying the fruits of my labor. All the hard work I do has to be represented somewhere. Yes, I have the houses and a couple of cars, but I don’t do anything in excess. I only meant to say that before we became a couple, I used to do a bit more to reward my hard work.”

  “I understand working hard and not having time to kick up your heels. I’m not globetrotting or throwing bashes either. I’ve been knee deep in trying to get Genesis off the ground.” The phone vibrated on the table again. “I haven’t had much support.”

  “Let’s talk about Genesis for a minute. We’re over budget.”

  She graced me with a blank stare. “Not by much.”

  “By enough. When we first started the project, I told you I was aiming to come in under budget. Right now we’re hovering around twenty percent over.”

  “It couldn’t be prevented. I didn’t make any unnecessary changes. I made sound business decisions that would benefit our bottom line in the long run.”

  “I went through the invoices and there were charges and materials where we could have saved.”

  “Hindsight is twenty-twenty. You were in Atlanta focused on Eden2 and Genesis wasn’t a priority.”

  I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. “That’s not even close to being true. Genesis is a priority just like all of my other businesses. In fact, when Riley and I were at the food festival last week, we tried a variety of vegetarian dishes. I was thinking about how we can incorporate some creative flavors into the menu at Genesis. Riley even experimented and made a few dishes with some of the spices that we tried.”

  “Riley?” A look of disdain spread across her face. “What would make you think I’d want to use another chef’s recipes in my restaurant?” She pushed her vibrating phone to the side.

  “I didn’t say you had to use her recipes. I was just sharing that she tried out the spices on a few dishes if you were interested.”

  “No, I’m not.”

  “That’s fine, Jade. I know we’re looking for something different for vegetarian options, and I thought these spices would be perfect. It was just a suggestion.”

  “You never mentioned Riley went with you to the food festival.”

  “She actually invited me.”

  “So you two were just painting the town red? Food festivals, spending time in the restaurant together, parties… You were booed up all week. No wonder you were missing flights.”

  I stared at her silently. If I kept quiet for a moment, maybe I could reel the discussion back in. “I was in Atlanta for business. That’s it.”

  “Riley. Please. She better be worried about the menu at Eden2, not what’s going on at Genesis.” Jade got up from the table.

  “Where are you going?”

  “The bathroom,” she snapped, as she went inside.

  I leaned forward with one elbow on the table, cradling my head. I hated arguing with Jade. Her phone vibrated three times in succession. I reached across the table and picked it up. I read the text messages that were visible on the screen.

  Hey gorgeous.

  Are you in the city yet?

  Let me know if you want to do lunch.

  I’m starting to think our conversation yesterday scared you off.

  Okay, I’m convinced it did.

  I swiped right to unlock her phone and pulled up all of the messages from Omar. I read message after message and felt my blood pressure rising. I picked up my drink and my hand was shaking. I downed it in one gulp and slammed the glass down on the table.

  His ideal…something naughty to seal the deal…together at Club Blaze…taking care of her panties

  I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Pictures of another man’s dick on my lady’s phone? A bra shot of my woman’s breasts? It took everything in me not to smash her phone to bits. The only thing that stopped me was that I wanted to see her face when she saw me with it.

  CHAPTER FORTY-SEVEN

  JADE

  I walked back into the yard determined not to argue with Cain about Riley. That was his new chef and she probably thought she was being helpful. As long as he understood that I didn’t need any help with my menu from her.

  Cain was glowering at me as I sat down. “I went to Genesis this morning.”

  “You did?” I asked, my voice full of surprise.

  “Yeah, I thought you would be there. As soon as I landed I went straight to Genesis.”

  “Okay, why are you only just now mentioning it?”

  “Who are the flowers from in the office?”

  I stared wide-eyed at him. “The flowers?”

  “Yes, Jade, the ones on the desk.”

  “Oh, those were from Omar.”

  “Why is Omar sending you flowers?”

  “He—”

  “What’s up with the check for fifty-thousand dollars?”

  “The check?”

  He reached in his pocket and tossed the check across the table. “This check, Jade,” he shouted.

  I picked it up and looked at it like I hadn’t seen it before. “I was going to talk to you about this.”

  “Why is he buying you flowers?” he demanded.

  “Give m
e a chance to answer,” I barked back. My breath trembled as I exhaled. “He wrote this check,” I started shakily, “because he wants to invest as a silent partner in Genesis.”

  “And he sent the flowers because you’re his ideal, right?”

  My brows furrowed as I tried to process what I’d just heard. “What?”

  “The flowers. He sent you those because you’re his ideal?”

  I noticed my phone in front of him on the table. “Oh, so that’s what we’re doing? We’re going through phones now?” I reached across the table and grabbed his. “What would I find in your phone?”

  “You’re worried about my phone when you have dick pics from the next man and you’re sending pictures of your breasts?”

  I scrolled through his text messages until I found Riley’s name. “I had a great time last night. I owe you an apology. That kiss…It shouldn’t have happened,” I read aloud. “What kiss would that be, Cain? Oh, wait a minute. According to your response, you thought it was a perfect evening and told her not to think twice about it.”

  “You can’t be serious. You’re taking one text out of context. I just sat here and read text after text that my woman was sending with another man.”

  “And you’re making assumptions.”

  “What’s to assume about another man’s dick on your phone?” he shouted. “And you sent him a picture of yourself in a bra?”

  “That’s not me. It’s a picture from a magazine.”

  He looked at me like he was disgusted. “You know what, Jade? Don’t make it worse by lying.”

  “I’m not.” I lowered my voice. “I can admit that Omar is attracted to me and he likes to flirt, but I don’t share his feelings.”

  Cain picked up my phone and went through my messages again. “You don’t discourage him.”

  “I also didn’t encourage him.”

  “If you didn’t shut him down, then you encouraged him.”

  “Did you encourage the kiss between you and Riley?”

  “She kissed me,” he quickly rebutted.

  “That’s not what I asked.”

  “No, I didn’t.”

  “Yet somehow she got something from you that told her it was okay to kiss you. Sounds like encouragement to me.”

  We stared across the table neither of us backing down from our positions.

  “You know what, Jade?” His tone was calmer. “Maybe you need to finish this project with your silent partner.”

  “Humph. This is exactly why I didn’t want you in control of the purse strings.”

  “You took the time to get a silent partner. I’m sure he’d be happy to take over and complete the project with you.”

  “It would definitely free you up to spend more time with your new chef in Atlanta.”

  “I didn’t rush back to New York for this.”

  My phone vibrated with an incoming call.

  “This dude must want me to break him,” he sneered. “You should answer. He’s been trying to reach you all afternoon.”

  I just looked at him. The phone stopped ringing. “As much as you may want to believe something happened, it didn’t. You, on the other hand, were in Atlanta kissing another woman.”

  “She kissed me.”

  “I told you she was touchy-feely in your kitchen, right in front of my damn face. So you get to Atlanta and decide to spend more time with her at festivals and galas.”

  “You can try to make it seem as if Riley kissing me is worse than your text messages with Omar, but it’s not. Another man texting you naked pictures and you sending him a picture of what belongs to me is pretty much cheating.”

  “That wasn’t me in the picture. I already told you that.”

  “God only knows what happened when you were together.”

  “Absolutely nothing.” I reached across the table and snatched my phone. “Not even a single kiss. Can you say the same?”

  “I’m not sure how we got here,” he said pensively, “but right now we need to think about where we go from here.”

  “I agree,” I stood up to leave, “but know that Genesis will get completed with or without you.”

  CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT

  JADE

  I was slouched in a booth at Rituals talking to my brother. He was doing his best to cheer me up, but nothing was working. I had started to share a fraction of what transpired between Cain and me with him. He offered to help me with financing if I needed it. I thanked him, but told him I would figure that part out on my own.

  After I left Cain’s, I drove out to Jones Beach to walk along the boardwalk. I had so many emotions fighting for attention that I was sort of numb. I didn’t know what was worse. Cain seeing my text messages with Omar, him spending time with and kissing Riley, or the fact that Genesis was about to fall apart before it even opened.

  Never once did I think Cain would see those text messages. Had I stopped to think how they would be perceived by him, that he would never view them as harmless flirting, I wouldn’t have entertained them. If I were being honest with myself, I already knew that it wasn’t harmless. I guess I figured he would never see them. It was stupid. I knew it. Bria and Milan knew it. The only person that didn’t feel that way was Omar. He honestly wanted more than our friendship. I couldn’t give that to him. We had definitely crossed a line with the flirting and the time we had been spending together, but I was grateful that we never got physical.

  I cringed at the thought that Cain was in Atlanta kissing another woman. He was adamant that she kissed him, but did it matter? There was a kiss shared between them. How did I know that was all that transpired? It all made the missed flight and tension between us more questionable. He was obviously in Atlanta with Riley interacting on more than a business level. We had both put our relationship and our business in jeopardy with our actions.

  “Terrence, I know I messed up.”

  “You definitely did.”

  “But he was flirting with me.”

  “Do you hear yourself? Would it be okay for you if another woman was sending naked pictures to Cain and making all sorts of suggestive comments and he never shut it down?”

  “You know it wouldn’t be okay with me.”

  “Then what else is there to say?”

  “I felt like Omar was harmless.”

  “Until he told you he wants to be your man. Hell, it should have been obvious when he called you his ideal.”

  “I know, I know. So I was wrong?”

  “Yes, you were wrong. Do you really need me to tell you this?”

  “Was Cain wrong? I mean he was hanging out with Riley and neglected to tell me they were together.”

  “You both were wrong. I don’t know why he didn’t mention it, if it slipped his mind or something, but any man knows you tell your woman in advance if you’re spending time with another woman. If the festival was work related, that’s one thing. But you already said they were just hanging out.”

  “He said she kissed him.”

  “That’s possible. What did he do?”

  “I don’t know. We never got that far into the details.”

  “I think you need to know what happened to figure out if it’s something you need to be concerned about.”

  “Ugh. My stomach has been doing somersaults since yesterday.”

  “You’ll be all right, sis.”

  “Can this even be fixed?” I whined.

  “If you two love each other, almost anything can be fixed.”

  I appreciated that I could talk to my brother to get his opinion. We were close enough in age that we could have frank discussions. We were also close enough that we were really good friends, not just siblings. There were many times over the years that we sought advice from one another. I trusted his opinion immeasurably. “I don’t know how to fix this, Terrence.”

  “You can’t fix it alone. It will take both of you together trying to repair it.”

  “Where do we start?”

  “You need to put the emotions to the
side and start with the facts. What happened, why it happened, and how to prevent it from happening again. You both need to own your roles in what occurred and apologize for that. Sometimes when you don’t acknowledge the how and the why, you can’t find a resolution.”

  “That’s true. We both sort of blamed what happened on Omar and Riley and then pointed fingers at each other.”

  “Exactly. If you and Cain can forgive each other for your missteps, then you’re already on your way to fixing the problem.”

  I knew Terrence was right. Cain and I needed to talk. I heard every word my brother said, but, sometimes pride could get in the way. I wanted to reach out to Cain, but I needed to get to the place where I could put my emotions aside. I wasn’t quite there yet. It seemed as if multiple issues sprang up at once. How to handle each one was the challenge. They were all separate issues within a larger problem. I was scared—scared that Cain wouldn’t be able to forgive me. Another man was sending me naked pictures. He thought I sent my picture to another man. Regardless of whether I was kidding with Omar or not, it was inappropriate.

  I tried to think if I would be understanding if the shoe were on the other foot. I honestly couldn’t say. If Cain really read the messages, he may have noticed that I wasn’t really encouraging Omar. However, he was right that I didn’t do what I was supposed to do to discourage him. I didn’t even want to think about the check. I had to face it. I fucked up. Terribly. If he never trusted me again, I couldn’t blame him. It was tough to point fingers at him when I started to think about where I went wrong. I wasn’t excusing his behavior with Riley, but I needed to focus on me and how I let things spin out of control on my end. Cain deserved more. Hell, Omar deserved more. He poured his heart out to me at lunch and if I was a real friend, I would have provided him with the harsh reality and told him there was no chance that we would ever be together. I was even sorry I dragged him into the fray with Genesis.

  No, I wasn’t ready to talk to Cain yet. I had to figure out how I got myself in this predicament and how to make sure I never put myself in a situation like this ever again.