Duly Noted

by H. M. Shander

  “Like this?” His dimple appeared with his lopsided sexy grin, and she wanted to scale the table.

  Body and soul on fire, she whispered, “Want to come back to my place?”

  He leaned even closer, and his breath tickled her ears. “Nope.” Falling back against his chair, sultriness written all over his face. “Keep your pants on and allow the anticipation to nearly kill you.”

  Pouting, she leaned back and crossed her heaving chest with her arms.

  “Ah, two can play this game.” He winked.

  Chapter Eleven

  The next day, Aurora left work and found herself staring at Nate. He sat on the hood of his car, the sunshine lighting him up as if he were a gift from heaven. An intoxicating smile and radiated charm called her over when they made eye contact.

  “I didn’t think you were working today. I didn’t see you,” she said on the approach.

  “They have us working on the exterior for now. You know, make hay while the sun shines and all that.”

  She nodded. “Gotcha.”

  “So I was thinking,” he breathed out, “about yesterday and this car fear you have, but won’t talk about.”

  Taking a step back, she glared at him.

  “And I think I figured out what’s going on, although I’m no rocket scientist.” He slipped off the hood and walked closer to her. “Correct me if I’m wrong, and feel free to tell me to shove it.”

  “Oh, I will.” There was a lot of seriousness behind those brown eyes, yet apathy too. Words failed to escape her mouth, for once.

  “So based on the bit of info you’ve blessed me with, I highly suspect you were in a wicked automobile crash, which killed your mother and sister. Am I close?” He searched her eyes, holding them and she couldn’t look away.

  Shocked beyond comprehension, she stared at him, unable to blink. Or breathe.

  “Okay, I figured I was on the right track.” He reached for her hand. “And I want to help you get over this fear.”

  “It will never happen,” she said, her voice falling.

  “I’ll still try. Because if something becomes of us, I’d like to eventually take you places, and show you more of this wonderful city.” He waved his arm about.

  “If something becomes of us?” She licked her lips while smiling.

  “Yes, if something does, I’d like to show you off.”

  “There’s nothing you can do. My therapist told me I may never get over it.”

  As he stepped closer, he said, “And I get that I’m no therapist, but I have ideas. If you’re willing to try.”

  Her hands shook and her voice trembled as she whispered, “How?” Horrible visions of him strapping her into a car and taking her for a spin filled the forefront of her brain.

  He reached for her hand and held it. “Simple. Baby steps.”

  Blinking slowly, she tried to comprehend. “Baby steps?”

  “Yep. I have a plan. Today we’ll try something and we’ll see how it goes.”

  She backed up, quivering with each step.

  “Today, what I want you to do is simple.” He guided her towards the side of his car, but she put the brakes on, pulling hard against him. “Easy. Today, we touch the car. That’s it.”

  Her eyes darted from him to the car and back again. “That’s it?”

  “Honest to God truth.” He crossed his heart with his fingers.

  She swallowed and stared at the car. It sounded so simple, so easy. With trepidation, she slowly extended her shaking hand. She glanced at him. No hint of impatience on his face, he locked eyes with her, letting her make the move.

  A cold sweat built up along the base of her neck, and her legs turned to mush. “I can’t.” Her hand raced back to her body, shaking violently. Instinctively, she covered her eyes. “I can’t."

  “Sure you can. I’ll help you.”

  Her eyes flashed open as his rough hand touched the top of hers, no doubt feeling the tremors, but he laced his fingers through regardless. Slowly, he guided her hand until they touched his car first with the edge of her palm. The metal was cool to the touch, but didn’t aid in slowing down the shakes. However, she was touching it. She closed her eyes, trying to block out the smell of blood, the sound of grinding metal, the popping of glass. The screaming that came from her mouth only. Breathing hard and sweating profusely, Aurora kept her hand on it, speed counting in her head. When she hit fifteen, she yanked back.

  “Wow. That was great.”

  After opening her eyes, she focused on him. Pride radiated from his eyes and a genuine smile lit up his face. Free of his hand, she thrust it into her pocket. “Yeah, I did it.” Not believing it, she stared at the spot where her hand was moments ago, unable to blink. Holy shit! I fucking touched the car. I can’t believe I actually did it.

  “How was it?”

  She inhaled a huge gulp of air. “Scary as hell.” Against her better control, her hands shook in her pocket.

  “Baby steps. That’s all we’ll do.” The handsome devil leaned back against his car with his crossed arms over his chest. “Your therapist, did he or she ever discuss PTSD with you?”

  “Duh, of course.”

  “Good.”

  She shrugged and tilted her head, gazing into his eyes, his cheerful-looking eyes. “Yeah, I’m aware of what I have. However, she said some never get over it, and others do with time.”

  “I think with time you will.”

  “You don’t know me.”

  “You’re right. If you weren’t willing to try, you would’ve told me to fuck off or something.”

  Eyes narrowed, and with a heart still beating out of control, she said. “There’s still time for that.” Her arms crossed over her chest, but she smiled when she said it. “So now what?”

  “Well, we can go out for dinner, or you can go about whatever else you had planned.”

  “Umm, let me check.” She grabbed her phone.

  “Do you have a busy social calendar?”

  “Why yes I do.” She laughed. “No, my daddy… dad…” She expected a hint of a grin from him after correcting herself, but there was none. “He’s in town.” Thumbing through her text messages, she sighed.

  “Everything okay?”

  “Yeah. He’s left already. Typical.” Beneath her breath she said, “Without even saying goodbye. Thanks a lot.” Readjusting her backpack, she speculated on the new choices she had. “I think I’d like to go out for dinner. You know, baby steps.” She winked. “And I know just the place.”

  They walked the short distance to the Brewster’s; the place where she was supposed to meet the Rock Star God of Teenage Boys. It was one of two decent sit-down restaurants in the neighbourhood, and she figured fast food wasn’t an appropriate last minute date venue.

  After ordering drinks, she asked, “So, tell me about your previous girlfriends.”

  He nearly choked on his own spit. “Well, there haven’t been many.” He wiped his mouth. “Why do you want to know?”

  “Well, you know what I’m looking for in a man, and I’m curious, real curious, about the women you’ve been with. I need to know if I’ll measure up or not.” She tucked a stray strand of hair behind her ears and tried hiding a smile.

  He raised an eyebrow. “Don’t you think I should be the judge of whether or not you’ll measure up?”

  “I like to know my odds.”

  “They’re good.”

  “So you’re not going to tell me?”

  “Not really.” He shrugged. “It’s not like they’re beating down my door or anything.”

  She whispered as she leaned in closer, “I highly doubt that.” In a louder voice, she asked, “So, ballpark, more than ten?”

  “I’m not saying anything. Obviously, they weren’t important, or they’d still be around.”

  One point to Nate. “Fine. No past info on the girlfriend situation.” She stared at him, thoughts swirling in her head. “School? Can I ask you about that?”

  “Sure.”

/>   She waited for a few heartbeats. “So?”

  “I’m waiting for you to ask.” He grinned a sexy, toothy, grin popping that damned stud between his teeth again.

  Although she wanted to launch herself across the table, she restrained herself and took a more formal approach to their conversation. “So, are you in university?”

  “Yes,” he said and took a long drink from his pop. “Civil engineering. Just finished third year.”

  So, you’re about twenty-two. Good. Was hoping you weren’t that much older than me. “Cool. So what, you design bridges or something?”

  “Something like that, or will when I graduate.”

  “Right on.”

  “And you?”

  “Me? I’m quite behind. Thanks to the accident and recovery, I just finished my first year. In science.”

  “Hmm,” he said, rubbing his chin. “Science chick, eh?”

  She slyly arched her eyebrow. “Totally. I love all sciences.”

  “What field are you studying?”

  “Pharmaceutical Sciences.”

  Nate chuckled. “How ironic.”

  “How so?”

  “You take some pretty hard-core drugs.”

  She pressed her lips together into a fine line, letters unable to form proper words in her brain. Slamming the menu shut, she placed on the edge of the table.

  “Does it pose some challenges for you?”

  “I’m not sure what you’re getting at?” Blood pumped through her veins.

  “How do you get there each day?”

  “Oh.” Her shoulders slumped. “Well, I was living in the dorms on campus, so everything was within walking distance.”

  “But you’re not now.” She shook her head. “So, how will you get to campus?”

  “I won’t.”

  “You’re giving up?”

  “No!” She leaned forward towards him, squinting her eyes. “I’m doing most of it online, and when I have to attend in person, I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it.” The tension in her neck gave her the start of a headache.

  “Hmm.”

  “What?” she said, slamming her palm against the table. A table of two turned in her direction.

  “You’re cute when you’re angry.” He laughed and rested against the back of the booth, a devilish grin teased her.

  It softened her, but she needed to turn away. “You haven’t seen me angry yet.”

  “I’m sure someday I will, and it’ll still be cute.”

  “You’re a jerk.”

  “I know.” He winked at her. “My brother tells me all the time. You should meet him.”

  “Why? Is he a jerk too?”

  “Actually no. He’s the total opposite of me.” He twiddled his thumbs. “Reddish hair, blue eyes. Total babe magnet. Super smart, can do anything he wants. He’ll graduate this year, top of his class with tens of thousands of dollars in scholarships.”

  “Doesn’t sound like my type at all.” She huffed.

  In a low and husky voice, he said, “And once again, we’re back to what it is you look for in a man.”

  “Haha.” She played with the straw in her drink their waiter had dropped off. “As long as he doesn’t give up on me, then it’s all good.”

  “Is that what happened with your last boyfriend?” He leaned closer, appearing ready to take in every detail she wasn’t going to share with him. Not today.

  She glared at him and then softened. “Yeah, something like that. He couldn’t handle the changes.”

  “What, do you turn into a werewolf or something?”

  “I wish. No. After the accident, I was immobile for weeks and then had to wear a pelvic external fixator while my smashed pelvis healed.”

  “What’s that? The pelvic thing.”

  “A fucking nasty device. It had pins extending out of my skin, attached to rods across my pelvis. Very attractive. I took first place in the Miss Pin Cushion Competition. Mind you I was the only competitor around.”

  He scrunched up his face. “That… thing… sounds terrible.”

  “It was, I won’t lie.” She paused when the waiter appeared, resuming after they’d given their orders. “I didn’t want to go out with this ginormous device sticking out. I looked like fucking Frankenstein. And then I realised I couldn’t go out. I was terrified of ever leaving. He couldn’t handle any part of that, so he ended it.”

  “Wow. He sounds like a jerk.”

  “Not really. Just immature. I mean, I was seventeen, he was a year older. I figured it wasn’t going to last anyway as he wasn’t the one. May as well kick me when I was down.”

  “I’m so sorry.” The atmosphere changed between them. Now a dark grey cloud hung over them.

  “Whatever, fuck him. I didn’t need him anyways. He was simply a toy.”

  Nate gasped. “What?”

  “Oh come on. You heard me. He was a plaything, and damn good at it.” Those brown eyes of his bored into her, many questions behind the stare, including curiosity. The truth of the matter was it hurt when Derek left, it made her feel worthless and unattractive. Who leaves someone twenty-three days after losing half her family? Even though she knew he wasn’t her forever, she’d still loved him, and wanted him to stay. A small sigh of heartache as she remembered. “It was like I knew something major was coming and I’d need to get in all the hot sex beforehand. Because it sure as hell wasn’t happening afterwards.” Not for a long while, anyways.

  His cheeks flushed, and he fiddled with the napkin.

  “It’s not like I’m a slut or anything.”

  “I never said that.”

  “You have that look. There have only been two, no three, that I’ve been with.”

  “That’s not obscene.”

  “Clearly, it must be if you use that phrase. So you must be less than that.”

  “And what makes you think that? Maybe I’ve been with dozens of ladies.”

  “Perhaps, but your expression spoke volumes. And that’s okay, I like a man that’s selective.” She reached out to touch his hand.

  The chill from his hands shocked her although she wasn’t sure why. And she liked the rough texture, and imagined what those strong hands would feel like touched against the softest parts of her. Her desire for this man flared up from deep within her core, spreading like wildfire to the tips of her extremities and then pooling in her pelvis. The way he stared at her, like he was doing right now, fanned the flames, keeping her hot. And wet. Oh so wet. She was afraid to move for fear it would be noticeable on her seat. Grabbing a napkin, she tried to cool herself down.

  “You okay?”

  “Yeah, it suddenly got real hot in here.”

  “I noticed that you flushed.” He smiled a knowing smile.

  She closed her eyes briefly, trying to imagine his cool hands caressing her flaming cheeks, his fingertips sliding down, drawing across her collarbone. Take me a sultry voice said. “What?” she asked.

  “I didn’t say anything.”

  She narrowed her eyes. “For real?”

  “Yeah.”

  “Hmm.” Aurora gazed at him, attraction pushing her to him. But was it only carnal desire, or was it more? She’d certainly have no issues whatsoever jumping into the sack with him to see how he worked. She imagined it would be a helluva ride.

  Chapter Twelve

  Friday rolled around, and Aurora skipped with excitement at seeing Nate after work. As he had for the past couple of days, he perched on the hood of his car waiting for her, wearing a pair of beige overalls, and a skin-tight black tee underneath. Fuck if he wasn’t sex on a stick.

  Smiling impishly, she sauntered over to him as he slipped off the hood. “So, what’s the game plan for me today?” Yesterday, she touched the outside of the car for sixty seconds before a wave of panic hit her from the insides, beating out the destruction her mind threw at her. The smells, the sounds, the fear – they were ready to close in on her when Nate pulled her back.

  “Something a little diffe
rent.”

  With each step back, her smile fell. “How so?”

  “I want you to sit on the car.”

  “I can’t sit in it.” Repulsed by the mere thought of sitting in the car, enclosed by the metal and plastic that killed her momma, she sneered in the car’s direction.

  “You’re right, that’s why I said sit ON it. I’ll lift you up, hold you close.” His eyes twinkled.

  She shook her head. “Not going to happen.”

  “Which part?” He smiled. “Although I do love a good challenge,” he said, whispering under his breath.

  It made her heart flutter. “Come again?”

  “Do you trust me?”

  “It’s not you I have the problem with, Nate, it’s me and my mind.”

  “Yes, I get that. Still, do you trust me?”

  Body trembling, she attempted a weak nod and dropped her purse to the ground.

  Nate walked over, closing the distance between them in a heartbeat and slipped his hands around her waist. “Ready?”

  “Not in a lifetime,” she breathed out. She clutched onto his strong, well-defined arms, holding on for dear life. He didn’t make a move to lift her, so she leaned her cheek against his chest. She could swear his heart raced as much as hers. “Was this just a ruse so you could touch me?” She tried laughing, hoping it would push her swelling fear away, but it failed. Miserably.

  “No, but I’ll admit it feels good holding you this close.” His chest rattled as he spoke.

  Suddenly weightless, she instinctively wrapped her legs around his waist. Like a cat about to be dunked in water, she clawed at him and tried climbing over his shoulder.

  “Easy there. We’re not even near the car.” He cocked his head and following his gaze, he was correct. They were still a good few feet away. Relaxing the tiniest bit, she pressed into him, and his hands readjusted, moving to under her bottom.

  “Excuse me?” She arched her eyebrow.

  “You’ll slip out of my hands otherwise.”

  With his face so close, she saw a glimpse of fear reflected in his eyes. Was he afraid he’d drop her or was there more to it than that? She stared at his full lips, seeing the faded hint of a scar above the right side. Her eyes washed over his face, taking in every detail from the unfair length of his lashes to the way his eyebrows would be almost one if it weren’t for the lightest hairs between. His cheeks devoid of facial hair as if he’d shaved before leaving work. She threaded her fingers together behind his neck, and pulled herself tighter into him, her breasts flattening against him.