Duly Noted

by H. M. Shander

  “But you don’t know him.”

  “No, but I see what he’s doing.”

  Aurora cocked her head. “What’s he doing?”

  “Something that shitty therapist of yours should’ve tried.” She took a long drink from her coffee. “Don’t you see? He’s trying to make the car less scary by putting positive images into your head about it. Kissing you on the hood of the car is fucking brilliant.”

  “What? It is not.”

  “Yeah, keep denying it.” Kaitlyn snatched another piece of bread. With her mouth full, she said, “We so need to get you some lingerie, honey.”

  “I’m not having sex in his car.”

  “Perhaps not, but, well, you certainly can’t sleep with him in that?”

  “Kait, I changed into this.” Leggings and an old, worn out shirt did not constitute pajamas.

  “We’re going shopping. Can I borrow some clothes and makeup?”

  “Have at ‘er. I’ll clean up, you can shower first.”

  She watched her best friend saunter down the hall. After cleaning up, she retrieved her laptop, but only stared at it. The name like a beacon on top. Hoping Kaitlyn was still in the bedroom, Aurora lifted up the tray of cutlery and pulled out the card that Matthew had written his number on. She desperately wanted to talk to him as she had so many questions. A loud bang as the closet door rolled shut, and she quickly tossed the card back under. It’d be better later, when Kaitlyn wasn’t around. She made a mental note to call him tonight.

  Chapter Thirteen

  The girls stood in visitor parking beside Kaitlyn’s car after some time spent shopping at the mall. “That’s a longer walk back than I expected.” Kaitlyn opened her car door.

  “That’s why I don’t do it every day.” She shifted her weight between her feet. Her back and hips started to throb, and the Percocets called her name. She could hear them from the parking lot below her suite.

  “No kidding. Well, you got some nice things for Nate. I’m sure he’ll love seeing you in them.”

  “Well he won’t for quite some time. I don’t shack up that quickly.” She hugged her friend goodbye.

  “If you change your mind about tonight, join Jessica and me. We’ll be at the club.”

  Aurora balanced her bags between her two hands. “I’m good. Going to phone my dad, and get some studying done, otherwise I’ll never catch up before the fall session.”

  “Bor-ing,” Kaitlyn said, getting into her car. “Ciao.”

  Her friend drove away, and she hauled her few bags up to the apartment. After setting them on her bed, she grabbed her pills and headed to the kitchen to chase them down with a cool drink of water. The laptop remained on the table, where she’d left it last. Sighing, she once again retrieved the number hidden beneath the cutlery tray.

  With trembling fingers, she dialled the first five digits. Her heart raced until she hung up. Taking a deep breath, she redialed, hanging up once more. She shook out her hands and paced nervously around the living room. Finally, feeling a wave of courage, she dialled all the numbers and waited, holding her breath. She hoped he wouldn’t answer but if he did, what would she say? Be all casual? Like, ‘Hey, it’s Aurora?’ Maybe voicemail would answer. Yeah, that’d be better. Easier.

  Her breathing nearly stopped when he said, “Hello?”

  Jump right in. “It’s Aurora.”

  The line was silent for a moment, and then she heard him breathe. “Just a sec.” She curled up on her couch, looking guiltily around her apartment as if she had her hand in the cookie jar. His mumbling in the background was indiscernible to her. He spoke after a moment. “My lady. You finally called.”

  “Yeah, I did.”

  “I figured I’d never hear from you again.”

  “Yeah, well, that was sort of my plan, but curiosity took over and I Googled. So, well, here I am.” Grabbing a nearby pad of paper and a pen, she started doodling.

  “And that’s why you’re calling?”

  A heart scrawled out from the tip of her pen. “Do you know who I am?”

  “Excuse me?”

  “I mean, you know my name. But why did you tell me to look up your wife’s name?”

  “So you will understand I’m married. That joking behaviour, like I said, it’s all an act. I’ve always remained true to my wife.”

  The pen continued to draw of its own accord, distracting her momentarily. “But she’s been gone for almost two years.”

  “Doesn’t mean I’ve stopped being faithful to her.”

  “Her accident. Who was that with her?” She cringed asking. It wasn’t really any of her business, but her inquiring mind wanted answers.

  “That was her… lover.” Matthew’s voice fell.

  Sadness overwhelmed Aurora. “Oh geez, I’m really sorry.”

  “I’ve gotten over it. I think. I have no use for cheaters, but she was still my wife.”

  The air hung stagnant between them. “So, even though she did that to you, you? You?” Where was she going with this? “You, act like a jerk? But you’re not really?”

  “Well, I am, but not in the way you think.”

  “Huh? I’ve seen your needs for the stage setup. The number of plants and all that.”

  He laughed, and it relaxed her a bit. “Yeah, again at the request of my manager. He’s huge into Feng Shui and everything needs to be a certain way. I personally, couldn’t care less. Just let me hang out with my fans. Let me get them hooked on reading and expanding their minds, that’s all I care about now. Well, except–”

  “What?”

  “You. Something about you, calls out to me. A familiarity almost. I can’t put my finger on it though, but it’s like I’ve met you before.”

  She snorted. “You’re fucking joking right?” Her cheeks burned all the way over to her ears.

  “I’m sorry?”

  “Listen, Matthew,” she stopped herself from saying something vulgar in place of his name. “Do you know who I am?” Her hands shook, and she kicked the edge of the couch.

  “Yes,” he sighed again, “the girl from the library.”

  “Glad you think of me as a girl. That’s reassuring.” She switched the phone to her other ear, her right hand clenched tight in a fist. “Do you know I’m connected to your wife?”

  “You knew her?” He sounded uptight and tense.

  “No, not at all. She was killed alongside my mother and sister,” she cried into the phone, “I was fucking there that night. I was driving the car he smashed into.” Red hot tears streaked down her face.

  “What?? No–” The line was quiet. Too quiet. No one spoke as the air crackled between them.

  Aurora couldn’t move as she quivered in place and made no attempt to wipe the wet trail careening down her cheeks, soaking her shirt.

  “I never put it together,” he finally said after a few minutes. “Never. Although I remember now where I’ve seen you.”

  “Oh yeah? Where?”

  A loud sigh. “That night, I flew to the hospital. The nurse said Rebecca had come out of surgery and sent me over to the recovery area. I pulled back the curtain and saw the person on the bed. But it wasn’t her. It must’ve been you. You looked like you were in a lot of pain, even though you were sleeping.”

  “My fucking pelvis was shattered. That’s not a pain you can escape from, even in sleep.”

  “I’m familiar with pain, Aurora.” Pretentiousness aside, the anger rang clear in his voice.

  She settled down and answered, “Yeah, because emotional pain is the same as physical pain. Your heart may have broken in the figurative sense, but my body broke in the literal sense.” A quick peek at her doodling showed her she’d drawn Matthew’s name. In anger, she scribbled it out. The air cracked between them as the silence grew. “So what now?”

  “That’s what I’m wondering too.” He took an audible breath. “I’d really like to see you again. I think we should meet, in person, and discuss this. I didn’t realise that there was that connectio
n between us.”

  “I don’t know, Matthew, that’s a big deal.”

  “That’s why I think we should talk. I want to know more about you, my lady. There must be a reason I am drawn to you.”

  “Because you feel sorry for me?”

  “Why would I feel sorry for you?”

  “Because I was involved in the crash? And now you want more details.”

  “I do want more details, if you’ll share them with me. But there was something before knowing that. I need to know you more.”

  Forcing herself to think of something else, she drew hearts on the paper, writing Nate’s name in the middle. “You’re what? Thirty-seven? I’m nineteen. That’s too big an age gap for me.”

  “All I’m asking for is dinner, to talk. Nothing more.”

  Why in hell was she thinking of agreeing to this? She wanted nothing further from him. “Matthew, I can’t. I have a boyfriend.” Which was mostly true. They were dating although she didn’t know if they’d achieved couple status or not.

  “So what? I’m not asking for your hand in marriage. Just dinner.”

  She sighed. “Fine.” It can’t hurt, right? “When? Your schedule’s busier than mine.”

  “Okay, give me a sec.” She heard him flip through some papers, and imagined he was checking his hectic calendar. “I have an appointment I can reschedule if you want to meet tomorrow?”

  Tomorrow? She had a date with Nate. At one. Would they be finished their date in time for her to have dinner with someone else that night? No, it wouldn’t be right. “I can’t.”

  “Fine, figured you’d say no to the first suggestion anyway. How about next Saturday night?”

  Don’t couples usually go out on Saturdays? She didn’t know. She and Derek went out all the time. And she didn’t know Nate well enough yet to know if he was particular about a certain day of the week being an official date night. She could always tell him that she had these plans booked for a while now. What to do, what to say? With a loud sigh she agreed.

  A sound of relief came from the other end of the line. “Great. Thank you. I’ll pick you up where?”

  “I’ll meet you. Brewster’s. Seven o’clock.”

  “Okay. I will meet you there. You won’t stand me up?”

  “If I do, you have permission to track me down.”

  A small laugh. “Well that’s interesting.”

  “Saturday, seven, Brewster’s.”

  “Perfect.”

  She hung up the phone and asked herself, “What in hell am I doing?”

  Chapter Fourteen

  Aurora stomach tightened and flipped after hanging up the phone. She’d accepted a dinner date with Matthew James. Matthew James, for crying out loud. Needing to clear him and their conversation from her mind, she grabbed her purse and headed out for the grocery store. She needed to pick up the picnic supplies for her real date. Tomorrow. With Nate. The one who made her smile and not scowl in anger. Fucking Matthew James.

  She had no idea what to purchase because she didn’t know much about his likes and dislikes. It’s not like he presented her with a rider or anything. She chuckled at the thought. No, Nate wasn’t like that. He wasn’t a ‘somebody’ and any Google search on him would likely be less than what she’d find on herself. She made a mental note to check later, for the hell of it. Playing it safe, she grabbed a few buns, fresh veggies and cold cuts, some snack foods and a couple bottles of iced tea.

  After returning home, she attempted to study chemistry. But it wasn’t working. Her thoughts drifted between Nate and his sexy smile to Matthew and the way he pulled at her, almost as if by magic. At least she was honest with Matthew about having a boyfriend. She really needed to open up to Nate although he did say he liked a girl with a little mystery to her. Well, hiding a supper date was mysterious, wasn’t it? And it’s not like she’s hooking up with Matthew James. He’s way too old for her anyways. It’s an innocent dinner date. To connect over his dead wife who was there when her family was killed.

  She shook her head, and stepped out onto the balcony for some much needed fresh air. The air was warm, and soothing and she inhaled, debated her choice of returning to her schoolwork or heading out to the mall. The dull throb in her back reminded her she needed another pill. She’d done too much walking today, and she agreed.

  The pill-popping diary open, she sat with it in hand, and tried to remember what pills she had taken and when and for what reason. She’d been horrible with the upkeep lately, and there were several of each pill unaccounted for. Not good. Not good at all. She scribbled down the two she took after her trek from the mall and one for tonight that she was about to take for the hip pain. It still left fifteen Percocets, four Flexeril and thirteen Xanax unaccounted for. Shit. She vowed to be better.

  The next morning she rose excited for her picnic. She showered and shaved her legs although she would never wear a skirt or capris or shorts. There were way too many scars on her legs, and it was easier, no better, to hide them all away beneath leggings or jeans or whatever clean pants she had. She only wore a dress when she heading out to the bar, and that was a fancy dress that fell to the floor with pantyhose or something similar covering her legs.

  It had been so long since she’d been on an official date, she debated what to wear. After calling and waking Kaitlyn from a drunken sleep, she concluded that jeans and a nice top would be fine for a picnic.

  With everything packed up into a cooler bag, she headed downstairs and across the street to the park. The blanket spread out over a nice grassy spot, and she placed the bag on the corner. Plopping down, she stretched herself out, and enjoyed the rays of sunshine warming her face.

  “Cute,” a voice said as Aurora opened her eyes in the shadow of a gorgeous man who, with the sun outlining him, looked like an angel.

  “Nate,” she said, gesturing to the blanket as she curled herself up into a sitting position. “Glad you made it.”

  “Of course.” Dressed in jeans and a plain white tee, he was hotter than usual. The white highlighted the bronze of his sun-kissed skin. He sat on the edge of the checkered blanket. “How was your weekend?”

  “Good. Girls’ night on Friday, shopping all-day yesterday. Studying last night. Yours?”

  “Good. Busy. Hung out with family and friends. Typical weekend.”

  “Oh yeah, what do you typically do?” She leaned on her knees.

  His eyes trailed over her while he paused. “Just things. Talk cars and such.”

  “With your family?”

  “Why not? We’re all big NASCAR fans.”

  “Isn’t everybody?” she said sarcastically.

  “Well, not everyone clearly.”

  “Yeah, no. Not a fan of death-mobiles racing around in circles at stupid high speeds, waiting to plow into each other.”

  He laughed. “That’s not the goal. It’s being first across the finish line.”

  “I know that. It’s just… crazy and stupid.”

  He lost his smile. “I don’t think so. Not at all. In fact, quite the opposite.”

  She stared at him, bewildered. She knew he liked cars, but NASCAR? Really? It defied her logic that someone could enjoy watching cars race at such high speeds. When they crashed, people died.

  “What are you thinking?” His forehead crinkled with the question.

  “Everyone who crashes at that speed, dies.”

  “Not true. In fact, race cars are designed to protect the drivers. For example, a few months ago, Austin Dillon got into a high-speed spin, and flipped his car over and then was run into. He walked away from the crash without a scratch. There’s so much protection put into those cars. You’re safer in them than you are in a street car. Even those that come with the highest safety ratings.” He nodded. “It’s true. Look it up.”

  “Not interested. I still think all vehicles are unsafe.”

  “And that’s where I enter. To help you with that. To teach you that they’re not.”

  “But you just allude
d that street cars are unsafe.”

  He sighed. “Not what I meant. I simply meant with a race car, you are strapped in; harnessed in really. You wear a HANS – a head and neck support system, so that in the event you do crash, your head doesn’t snap forward and cause brain damage. There are roll bars all around you, and safety systems put in place so that you can escape a vehicle with ease. You’re quite protected, trust me.”

  “And yet, you want me to eventually get into a car?”

  “Eventually, yes. But you won’t be travelling at two-hundred miles per hour like Jeff Gordon does. More like sixty miles an hour, and that’s only if you’re on the highways.”

  She studied him, admiring his stupid determination to break her of her fear. But it couldn’t be broke.

  “So,” he said, breaking the silence, “what’s lunch? I’m starving.”

  She pulled out the sandwiches, and passed him a bottle of iced tea. “Fancy, I know.” Chuckling as she set everything out. “I’m a much better cook than this. Someday I’ll have you over.”

  “Someday soon, I hope.”

  Her eyebrow raised, and a smile stretched across her face. “So eager to see my place, are you? I did invite you over once, but you shot me down.”

  “Not a mistake I’ll make again.” He beamed his crooked little smile and moved closer to her.

  Dampness settled into the seat of her pants. He needed to stop looking at her like that, or she won’t be able to finish her lunch. She’d lunge at him and take him right there in the park. Clearing her throat, she wiped her sweaty hands on her jeans.

  “Well, my apartment’s right across the road. I even did a little shopping for something special yesterday.” She caught his eye as she flipped her hair off her shoulder.

  “Now I’m intrigued. What did you get?” He shuffled closer, the heat from the sun warmed up his skin and in doing so, released the aroma of a nice cologne.

  Aurora scooted closer as well. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

  “Oh, I would.” His face moved closer to hers.

  “It’s green and slippery.”