Duly Noted

by H. M. Shander

  “You stay here, hon, and I’ll send Nate over. He likes watching the IMCAs.”

  Whatever those are. “Fine.” She couldn’t move anyways. Her chest hurt, from not breathing properly and thinking of all the what-ifs. Seriously how was she going to make it through two more races? She sat on the floor of the cage, her legs dangling over the edge, watching as Nate extracted himself from the car. He waved in her direction, but was engrossed in a conversation with his mom and sister. Aurora had the sneaking suspicion they were talking about her. She needed to get a grip on herself although it was so hard. It was damn near instinctual.

  After a few minutes, Nate climbed up the ladder and joined her on the floor. “What did you think?”

  “Great job,” Lucas said.

  She sighed and kept her eyes on Nate who, although upset with his overall placing, was definitely, thankfully, alive. However, her anger revealed itself. “I think Marissa’s a bitch.”

  Nate chuckled. “Yeah. I figured she’d pull something like that.”

  “Really?” She covered her mouth in horror.

  Nate’s hand on her thigh did little to re-assure her. “Sure, that’s her style. If she’s not number one, she’ll try to remove those that stand in her way. It’s nothing personal.” As an afterthought, he added, “Not always.”

  She leaned into his shoulder, the heat from the black suit warming her body but the smell of it made her pull back. It was a scary, familiar scent of gas and oil. Her stomach soured once again. “I need to be honest with you. I don’t know if I can handle this. If something were to happen–”

  “Nothing will happen.”

  “It’s one thing watching you race around the track on your own, it’s entirely different seeing you race against eight others. There’s not enough space for that.”

  He sighed. “Is there anything I can say or do to prove to you that this is okay?”

  The cars were a blur on the track as they ripped on by. “I don’t know.” Too many what-ifs played out again in her mind. The tears welled up, but she wasn’t about to let him see.

  His voice sounded torn apart. “Do you want me to take you home?”

  Turning, she stared into his handsome face, knowing she’d be the most selfish person in the world if she said yes. And she couldn’t do that to him. Couldn’t take him away from his love because of her. She shook her head. “No, I don’t.” She reached for his hand, running her fingers between his. “But I need another Xanax, or I’ll never make it through the night.” She didn’t need his permission, but dammit, he had to know what this was doing to her. And he must’ve understood as he nodded, while she popped one into her mouth.

  “Would it be easier if you sat down by the car, and not up here for the next heat? Or would you like me to see if Max has something stronger?” Although his face bore concern, he sounded upset.

  And she hated herself for that. “No,” she said with determination. “Please don’t ask.” She released a buildup of air as she turned her head and rested it against the metal railing whispering, “Fuck.”

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  As relief swam in Aurora’s mind, she sat in a chair beside Brenda, under Chris’ watchful stance. Nate may have mentioned her pill popping as there were hushed discussions and glances thrown in her direction. At the moment though, she couldn’t have cared less. Her heart rate was steady, and she could breathe again.

  It didn’t take long before Heat Two started, and she watched Nate’s preparations, cemented in the confines of her chair.

  “You’ll be okay?” Nate squatted in front of her.

  The Xanax had kicked in, and the headphones hung on her armrest, so she nodded. “Totally fine. Go and… have fun.”

  He looked at her quizzically before he bent over her, his sexy grin inches from her face. “I’ll be right back.”

  “I’ll be right here,” she said before kissing him.

  Once he gave the thumbs up to Lucas, she turned to look in Brenda’s direction. Chris paced a few feet away but always within view. As she placed the headphones on, the sounds from the cars and crowd faded away. Now she could hear her thoughts clearly, and she wasn’t sure she liked that any better. The what-ifs tickled the edge of her mind. He said he’ll be right back. She focused on his voice as it played over and over. Her eyes shut tight, she pictured him lying on the picnic blanket, smiling up at her. He’ll be right back.

  It must’ve been a clean race, as the heat ended before she knew it. The setting sun reflected off Nate’s glittering car as it pulled into its spot beside her. Relief washed over her as he upheld his promise. He came back.

  Standing and placing the headphones on top the toolbox, she watched him extract himself from his car and jump to the ground, air punching the entire time. “You are my good luck charm, Aurora,” he said as he grabbed her and twirled her around in a racing fuel scented embrace. “I got first.”

  “You won? That’s awesome.”

  “I got first in the heat which means for the feature tonight, I’ll be in second spot. That’s a great spot to be in.”

  Nodding, because she didn’t understand how that all worked, she said, “Good job?”

  “Yeah, it is. I hope you’ll want to watch it.” His fingers intertwined in hers.

  Nervous and afraid, she wasn’t sure how she’d could. Part of her wanted to, but another begged her not to. Thirty laps for the feature was a hell of a lot longer than for the heats. What if Little Miss Aggressive was too aggressive, and he got hurt? She wasn’t sure how she’d cope with that what-if.

  They hung out in the chairs, hand in hand, neither speaking until the last of the heats ended.

  Lucas parked in his spot, opposite of Nate and hopped over. “I got first!”

  Pride etched itself on Nate’s face. “Excellent job. That’ll give you a huge advantage in features.” They high-fived each other. “Don’t you worry, I’ll be watching.” She didn’t miss the quick glance in her direction. “One way or another.”

  “Okay, who’s hungry?” Lucas said after a few breaths of tension-filled air hung around them.

  “Me.” She stood and stretched. “I haven’t eaten since–” Morning? Really?

  “So let’s go.” Nate opened a drawer in the toolbox and removed his wallet. “Let’s eat up at the main concession. Better selection.”

  Lucas joined her and Nate as they crossed the track. Lucas hopped up and stood at the gate. “I’ll meet you guys in a bit. There’s someone I’m going to say hi to.”

  She waved bye and stood perplexed where the stairs should be. “You expect me to hop up?” The wall had to be at least four feet tall. Her hips ached just looking at it. “I can’t do that.” Unable to jump since the accident, or if she were being honest, she didn’t want to jump, afraid of what the jostle would do to her hip.

  “I’ll help you.”

  “You just want to touch my ass,” she said giggling.

  Nate laughed. “Yeah, that too.” He lifted her with ease on to the wall, and waved her to the side while he jumped. “They only put the stairs out for the racers at the beginning and at the end of the night. Anytime in between, we’re on our own.”

  “I’ll keep that in mind next time, and I’ll wear my dirty clothes.”

  “It’s probably better you do. Your nice clothes could end up wrecked.”

  “Well, with a little warning, I could’ve planned better.”

  “Touché.” He led her past the grandstand and over to the concession. “What do you want?”

  After ordering their food, Aurora spun around when a kid of eight or nine whispered, “Dad, that’s the number fifteen driver. Nate Johnson.”

  Nate turned around, smiling. “Hey, little buddy.”

  “You’re so awesome.”

  He squatted to eye level with the little man. “Thanks. You coming down into the pit afterwards?”

  The little boy looked up to his father. “Oh can we, Dad? Can we?”

  The dad nodded. The boy cheered. />
  “Great,” Nate said, “I’ll see you after the show.” He gave him a high five.

  “Good luck, Nate.”

  Aurora observed the conversation between the little boy and Nate, but waited until they were out of earshot from them before she said anything. “That was pretty cool.”

  “How’s that?”

  “That boy was shaking with excitement. I think you made his night just by talking to him.” Aurora beamed as she spoke.

  “It’s no big deal, really.”

  “Yeah it is. You’re a celebrity to him.” She smiled a big, toothy grin. “And I’m dating a celebrity,” she said as she playfully punched him.

  “Hey, watch the food.” He laughed as the guard opened the gate and let them through. He set their goodies on the wall and hopped down, extending his hands for her. Helping her to the track, they were inseparable as they ate beside his car.

  Nate’s race was the last of the night, but Lucas raced first. They waved goodbye and good luck as Nate escorted her back to the cage.

  “Do you need any pills for his race?” There was no disgust in his voice.

  She sighed and forced a smile. “I don’t think so,” she said, “it’s just yours that gets my heart beating extra fast.”

  As he wrapped his arms around her, he said, “You have no idea how much I love having you here tonight.”

  In trying to be respectable and decent, she kissed him. Not a prolonged we’re-all-alone type kiss, but a nice full kiss-on-the-lips that lasted a few seconds. When they broke apart, she saw Marissa Montgomery staring up at them, disgust smeared on her face. Feeling jovial, Aurora waved at her and grinned as she stomped away.

  “Stop that,” Nate said as he pushed her hands down to her sides.

  “Fine. I don’t want her to inflict revenge on you and hurt you in the race.”

  “She’ll be ahead of me, so it’s her back she’ll need to watch.” He winked.

  “Oh goody.” Even though she wasn’t a fan of Marissa’s, she didn’t want to see her get hurt any more than Nate. “Just be nice. No crashing into her.”

  He ignored her. “Lucas is about to start.” Nate pointed as the cars drove out. “Go Lucas,” he yelled.

  Lucas raced hard, and Nate filled her in on the lingo she was sure she’d never remember. It was impossible to not get caught up in Nate’s enthusiasm and she cheered along. Lucas raced clean and placed second on the podium.

  Nate jumped off the cage, helping her down as he raced to the edge of the pit to congratulate Lucas. Standing beside him, she hollered with pride as Lucas received his second place trophy from the announcer.

  They coasted back to Nate’s car. “Pose with me,” she said. Nate’s arm hung over her shoulder, and she took a selfie of the two of them in front of the orange and yellow striped car.

  Aurora: Guess what Nate does on the weekends?

  She attached the picture and hit send, wishing she could see her friend’s face when she read it.

  Kaitlyn (A half-second later): WTF?

  She laughed and typed. Nate’s a race driver and that’s his car we’re in front of.

  Kaitlyn: STFU! Really? We’re doing lunch, girl. I need the 411 on this.

  She laughed again, imagining her friend’s face. Utter shock, no doubt.

  Until it was time for Nate’s final race of the night, they huddled together. His hand on her knee, her head rested perfectly on his shoulder. Safe and secure. For a moment, there was peace. And Chris broke it when she said, “You’re up, dude.”

  The prospect of him out on the track had her heart rate jump again. A cool wave of sweat beaded across her neck.

  “Take one,” he said, and she wasted no time in popping it in her mouth.

  She studied him, and saw how nervous he looked. Was he upset she needed this? Or was he nervous about going into the race in second spot, having to fight Marissa for the win? For a moment, she wanted to offer him a Xanax.

  “You’ll watch me?” Nate asked as he pulled his fire suit up and over his shoulders.

  Without a lot of confidence, she nodded and glanced around wondering if anyone would join her. “Good luck.” She gave him another kiss and stepped back, allowing him to finish his preparations. A huge sigh escaped her lips, and she turned with her head hung to walk to the cage.

  A tap on her shoulder made her spin around. Nate stood there, holding his helmet in his hand. “I’ll be right back.” He leaned down and with his free hand wrapped tightly around her, pulled her in for a kiss. His lips parted as if he wanted to say something, but held back. Something flashed behind his eyes, but she couldn’t figure out what it was. Whatever it was, it was sexy as fuck.

  “Good luck,” she said breathless. Stumbling, she headed for the cage, pleased to see Brenda after she ascended the ladder.

  “You going to be okay?” A motherly concern crossed her face.

  “Already took my pill, so I should be fine.” She sighed and leaned against the rail. “This will be a long race.”

  The super stocks roared to life once again, and the cars made several laps to get everyone in their proper spot. The longer it took, however, the more relaxed she became thanks to the Xanax.

  Marissa’s green car held the pole position, with Nate in second. She took a deep breath as the flag dropped. Thirty laps to go. Marissa and Nate raced side by side, going two wide in the corners, Nate on the outside as he tried to overtake her on the straightaways, gaining inches only to lose them as he slowed in the turns. Five laps completed, and no change to the race order. Marissa still out front, Nate holding tight beside her. The other cars almost seemed to hold back and fight for third, rather than take those two on. Both had a huge lead on the others.

  Ten laps down. Aurora gripped the railing as a wave of nausea pitted in her stomach. A third of the way through, and the race was going okay. Nothing aggressive, so no cautions to slow everything down and delay the race from finishing. If the race stayed at this pace, she figured she’d be fine. Only twenty more laps to go. She breathed out her bad feelings as Nate and Marissa zoomed around the track.

  Fifteen laps completed, then twenty.

  “How you doing, honey?”

  “I’m okay.” And she was. For the most part. Although her heart rate climbed a little, and her breathing was shallower, she was still in control and not overwhelmed.

  “This is not an exciting race,” Brenda said.

  Says you.

  “There should be more going on between those two,” Lucas said from behind her. “What the hell is he doing?”

  She returned her gaze to the track, where Nate and Marissa maintained their considerable lead over the others. Twenty-five laps down, and no change. Every inch Nate gained on Marissa, he lost in the turns. If she was frustrated for him, he must be losing his mind.

  “Come on, Nate,” Lucas yelled, startling her.

  Then it happened. Nate trailed microseconds behind Marissa until the third to last lap where he pulled a slick maneuver in corner two and managed to overtake her on the straightaway into corner three. Side by side, he was against the outside wall when she slowed. Not much, but enough that Nate floored it coming out of the turn and inched ahead of her. By corner four it looked as if Nate had the lead as he zoomed the straightaway.

  “He needs to stop driving beside her and get in front of her,” Lucas said. “And he may do it on the next straight.”

  They crossed the start line. The boards flashed and #15 was in first place, but barely. Two laps remained.

  Unable to take her eyes off Nate’s car, she breathed hard as Nate inched ahead in corner one, and in corner two. Again Marissa slowed enough in the corners that on the straightaway, Nate took back the lead. Coming out of corner four, his bumper just inches ahead of hers proved how close the race was, and it would be a photo finish at this rate.

  Last lap. Nate sped through corner one and corner two, and on the straightaway, he pulled in front of Marissa’s car, securing his lead.

  “Tw
o turns and it’s his,” Lucas yelled.

  As Nate came out of corner four, he gassed it. When the checkered flag dropped, Nate drove over the line first. Brenda and Lucas both squealed beside her and she would’ve been startled, except she was screaming as well.

  They waited along the infield wall on the edge of the pit as Nate parked his car on the track and exited. She waved when he turned and searched for her. His smile a mile wide as he gave her a big thumbs up. He collected his trophy from the announcer and after thanking his sponsors and family, he thanked her for being here with him tonight and for trusting him. Her cheeks burned with heat, and she inched into the shadows.

  With the racing finished for the evening, she helped pack up what she could, folding chairs and tidying the immediate area. Nate tucked the headphones discreetly into an empty drawer of the toolbox. Fans from the grandstand came into the pit to greet the drivers and admire their cars. The father and son from earlier came over and the little one stared in awe up at Nate, congratulating him on his big win. Nate asked if he wanted to sit in his car and Aurora thought he’d pass out from sheer joy. The little boy smiled the entire time and couldn’t squeak out a thank you, much less anything else. After a few minutes, they left.

  “Okay, everything’s packed up,” he said to her. “I’m going to put the car on the trailer, and then I’ll take you home.” He kissed her. “I’ll be five minutes.”

  Lucas rolled the toolbox out of sight.

  Chris and Max stood beside her as Nate took off with his car.

  “I’m glad you came out tonight,” Chris said. “It was great meeting you.”

  “I’m glad too,” she said, shuffling her feet. “It wasn’t at all what I was expecting.”

  “Good. And you did better than I hoped.” She smiled, and it wasn’t a forced smile, but one of genuine warmth. “I’m sure Nate told you what I do, and I’d really love the chance to sit down and discuss everything with you. The things he’s attempting with you. How you’re coping with it. I’d be able to help you out, and it’d be great research for me. Think about it.” She patted her arm. “Here’s my card if you’ll consider it.”