by Ron Foster
“If Slim was coming, I imagine they would have already gotten here by now. Most likely Crick is halfway home and thinking about breaking for lunch. What the hell is a ‘corn dodger’ anyway, Clem? I saw Bertha give him a small bag of them this morning.” Loomis said finally getting the nut off the rusted threads of the tractors’ wheel.
“They are kind of like fried corn nuggets or hushpuppies. Traveling food, Bertha calls them. Basically they are made with sugar, salt, cornmeal, flour and lard. They will fill you up and last a longtime without refrigeration. I like mine’s with Tobasco sauce.” Clem advised and changed the subject to inquire about the other two men that were sent out rafting from the castaway’s campgrounds.
“Well, like I told you, Crick and I went right and they went left a bit upstream to look for a usable boat or get some help. They are supposed to stay near the shoreline and backtrack this way if they can’t find anything useful or any help. What’s down that way anyway, Clem?” Loomis asked trying to wrestle another nut off the wheels.
“Not much as far as I know, haven’t been down that way in years. Used to be a couple fish camps scattered about, a boat landing and a wooden cabin or two. Rich folks been buying up plots and building lake houses on this end of the lake, I don’t know if they have been doing the same down that way. Most of it is paper company land or National forest. Maybe when Crick gets back we can take my truck and go looking for your friends.” Clem said mulling the situation over.
“That would be most appreciated; let’s get that chain hoist hooked to this paddle wheel, Clem. I only have 3 bolts left on this side and one
I already got loosened.” Loomis said wiping the sweat off his face with a bandana.
THE END BOOK TWO OF THE PREPPER ADRIFT SERIES
1
MAKING READY
“Bertha is you about ready to go down to the landing? Crick and Loomis have finished putting them paddle wheels on his tractor and are just cleaning up.” Clem asked through the screen door on the front of Bertha’s porch.
“In just a minute Clem, I just got to finish putting our lunch together. Rossy Ross brought me three rabbits just after breakfast I fried up. Told her you would replace the shotgun shells for them and that she could come along for the trip. Did you fuel the truck up yet with that gas Crick brought you?” Bertha said bustling back to the kitchen to get a jar of her homemade sweet bread and butter pickles to add to her grapevine basket full of lunch fixings.
“That sounds good! We sure have been putting on a nice spread and eating well since we got visitors down this way. I hope they don’t come to expect such fine meals out of us all the time though.” Clem said only half joking and not voicing all his concerns for the future state of affairs of their dinner table.
“Yes we sure enough have! I wouldn’t worry yourself none though Clem. Them boys has got lots of common sense and no city folk airs or misconceptions about them concerning what it takes to live through hard times...” Bertha began before Clem started to object and came on into the house.
“Wipe your feet first Clem! Land sakes you can keep a body busy! Your boots are dusty and me and Rossy got my place all swept up and clean to receive company.” Bertha scolded and then handed him the wicker basket holding their picnic lunch for the day and then began to sort of push and herd him back out the door.
“Dang it, now Bertha I ain`t dirtying nothing up in here. Besides old woman, I done told you that we aren’t going to get no newcomers today. We are just going to be going to the river and trying out one of my inventions to see how good it does.” Clem complained looking around for Crick and Loomis to see if they were within ear shot so he could finish what it was he wanted to talk to Bertha about.
“Now Clem, what’s got you so antsy and looking like your boots are pinching’ at your toes? You look like you going to bust at the seams. Bertha asked, adjusting her little house on the prairie looking bonnet instead of her normal red bandana on her head.
“What’s got a hold of me? Girl what’s got a hold of you today? What’s got you wearing that Sunnybrook farm bonnet anyway; you decide we are going to have Sunday go to meeting service today? What are you thinking over there? You too good for your regular old bandana now that we got ourselves some new city folk visitors here abouts? Land sakes old women, you putting on your Sunday best for folks we don’t even know yet that will probably be all looking like death warmed over and not caring a hoot if you were even bald headed. Now Loomis and Crick we already seen they’s are nothing more than some down to earth good ol country boys at heart and what do we care anyway if half them other folks on that island they have been talking about are the city slicker types coming over here? No need to put on airs for none of them neither I say! They going to have to learn to be farmers now and the closet thing they going to see to a office cubicle is cleaning out a horse stall around here. Why Bertha, You the one that said yourself that you only wanted certain types of people allowed in your house and now you want to get all duded and frilled up and let just any kind of folks come sit on your front porch and access your kitchen? Hell you don’t want even me coming in here half the time. I am telling you, you might want to look the bunch over real good before you get too friendly with any of them.” Clem said, grabbing one side of his overall suspenders and holding the basket on the other side body in a casual but aggressive stance, wanting to have this argument out and over here and now.
“What you talking about, Clem? You said they’s going to be sharecropping over here, is there something you need to be tellingly me about them people from that island? You tell that Crick to leave any of them bad type boys over there far away from the shacks or we ain`t got no room for none of them! You tell him that good now you hear?” Bertha said, loosening the tie downs on her bonnet so she could hear Clem`s response better and probably also to let the steam of her anger out from under it.
“Now Bertha, you silly old thing, you know that there are all kinds of people in this here world and in the worst of times the bad often times comes out in people as you well know! What might be your friends today could be your enemy tomorrow when you get down to the last pickle in the barrel, if you know what I mean?” Clem said, trying to warn the old woman about having too much of an open door and faith policy for the unknown guests that were soon to be arriving.
“I knows that Clem! I still want to know if they told you ‘bout anybody particular to look out for, they can leave them over on that there island till later, you know?” Bertha said, opening the screen door reaching around into her umbrella stand to get what she called her pokey stick.
Pokey sticks are any kind of strong wooden stick or sometimes vine curled canes or staffs country folks use to go investigate something they don’t know too much about what it might be that drew their attention.
Before diving into a blackberry patch to do some picking, you poke around to make sure there isn’t a snake or some kind of snarly creature in there to mess with you first. If Clem hollers, then you had better grab your pokey stick to come help him cause you never know what it is you might be up against, could be a fox, snake, possum or other country critter you might need to help him poke at. Also it is a point of conversation of many a kid, you got to go poke something creepy with a stick and talk about it! I don’t know why poking things with a stick becomes the point of conversation, but that’s the way it is, if you don’t know what it is, poke it with a stick and then talk about it later!
Clem eyed Bertha studiously for a moment and then thought about just what her getting out a pokey stick meant and that he hoped she wouldn’t be poking at him with it today. Clem reckoned that like with the old family and the lobster she mistook for a dragon once that they might be needing them a pokey stick for defense. And if Clem didn’t calm her down some and quit funning her he might get her all spooked like when she was a girl and then she might end up just starting to spin around and start whomping everything in sight like that danged old mule of hers did when it had a fit!
As B
ertha raised her pokey stick like she was going to do an attitude adjustment on someone or something, Clem raised a hand and soothingly said, “Bertha, as far as I know there ain`t nobody in particular at all in that bunch we got to worry about. But then again they’s starving folks just the same. They are just like starving dogs that wouldn’t normally bite you on a better day but those folks are starving and bone tired weary by now and ain`t got their good sense or wits and manners about them. I just as soon you leave that stick at home today Bertha, but we’s going to be around the river and weeds. You remember now, you don’t be going whopping no two-legged critters, you hear me? I promise I won’t fun you or try to scare you with no dead snakes neither and upset you. What I’m trying to tell you is sort of like when I tried to teach you playing poker one time, you got to keep your poker face on and not show your hand to people! We don’t want to be showing them everything we got at first and they’re going to be trying to figure out what we might have put back anyway. There’s fifty or more of them folks that we ain`t never met yet and from what Crick and Loomis been telling us they all got guns or knives they are going to be toting’, and they could take anything we got if they wanted to I reckon.” Clem said.
“Oh so I should go get my gun instead Clem?” Bertha turning toward the door to head for her rifle instead of her pokey stick.
“No Bertha I ain`t saying that at all, you just leave your rifle home where its at and take your stick, Knowing you. You got yourself a straight razor in your garter belt as backup anyway!” Clem said making her uncomfortable, underwear in her opinion was only supposed to be referred to in a hat and not on your person in polite conversation.
“Look here Bertha; I see that Loomis and Crick are heading down here now so we got to cut this conversation a might short. I’m only just advising you that we only tell them folks everything they know, not everything that we know about the goings on at this place. We are just a pair of old dirt farmers but we got more cards than they do for winning this here survival game we find ourselves in.” Clem said letting the warning sink in.
“I ain`t never understood all the rules ‘bout them poker games of yours, you always seems to be changing the rules on me! I am going to have to get Crick to pull out that Holt’s book of rules while he is here so’s I can keep up with you and your shenagins. Every time we’re disagreeing about them rules, you pull out that durn book and read off sometimes a sentence or two in your favor that just sounds different from what you told me before and I think you might have been pulling my leg so you could win!” Bertha said to try to see if Clem had been up to something sneaky or not.
“Have them check those dice your Uncle Luke left you Bertha while you’re at it. Them’s loaded dice, I swear Bertha and you knows it!” Clem reminded her
Thankfully Crick and Loomis came up the red dusty clay dirt road within what was considered earshot by the pair of old porch-sitters and ended their little fray they were about to have over who’s more apt to be cheating who.
“Hi Bertha, that’s is a fine bonnet you got on today! Very pretty!” Loomis said remembering his manners and what to say to get on the old girls good side.
“Fine indeed Miss Bertha! You’re looking well today!” Crick said wondering if she had just changed the underwear recently in that hat and if it might have been the mule’s bonnet at one time or another and stifling a grin at the thought.
“Hey Crick, Loomis, Ya’ll ready to fire everything up and go on down to the landing now? I can’t wait for you to see my invention in all its glory a paddling along” Clem said with his eyes sparkling and boots twitching to get on down to the river and let the show and fun begin.
“Now Clem, you said we were going to discuss this first even though we are going down there to the river bank directly. What about those boys Ben and Beauregard you looking for, that Ben feller is, what did you call him, a bonding man?” Bertha said.
“No, a bondsman, you know the guy that puts up money when you got to get out of jail! A bonded man is kinda like a slave or indentured servant.” Loomis began before Bertha said “I’m taking my gun with me now instead of this stick, there ain`t nobody making no slave out of me, bonded with dentures or not!” Bertha exclaimed and hustled to go get her gun before Crick put a calming hand on her shoulder and slowed her down before things got out of hand with her ideas about bonded and unbonded dentures.
About that time Rossy Ross rounded the corner with her venerable old single shot 20 gauge shotgun, declaring she ain`t going to be no dentures servant either and that them city folks could stay on that island whether she had herself a sore tooth or not!
“Now ya’ll settle down, ain`t nobody talking anything about indentured servants or slaves! All we got here to be concerned with is to go out and look for this Ben the Bondsman and a fellow they call Beauregard that took themselves a raft ride over here to also escape that island and find some help who we ain`t seen hide nor hair from yet. They are supposed to be somewhere downstream as far as Crick and Loomis knows. But Crick said if they didn’t find any help down that way they’re supposed to be coming back up this way.” Clem explained.
“Them bondsmen, are they like them slave hunters of old like my Grandmamma told me about?” Bertha said looking around worriedly.
“No Bertha they the money guys you got to go see like when we had to get Jebediah out of the cross bar motel. Course if they gets you out of jail, they also make sure that you show up at court whether you want to or not so they don’t lose no money.” Clem said jogging her memory.
“Oh yeah, I know what they talking about Miss Bertha! My Momma has to get one of them fellas once in a while, but they always seem to want something more than money when they come around!” Rossy said scowling and holding her gun a little tighter.
“Now there are good ones and bad ones just like in everything. Think about them like money changers in the Bible, Bertha. They exchange a little bit of money for freedom, you don’t have the money then they share it with you but you beholding, it’s more like sharecropping: you ain`t got it, I lend it to you then you got to work it off till you pay it back with interest.” Clem said.
“Oh we going to be like bail bondsman’s now then!” Bertha said puffing out her ample bosom a bit, imagining something new.
“Well I understand sharecroppers foreman gets a piece of the crop you make, but the bail bondsmen they get you out of jail it’s like they own a piece of your body!” Rossy said remembering her Momma’s experiences.
“That not what it is at all, the worlds full of haves and have nots and people that profit from saying that they’re helping somebody out but sometimes abusing others by overcharging for the right to do so. Might be what you call a necessary evil. Now you remember Bertha around here, payment for shares of the crop were always fair, nobody had their finger on the scales to cheat you of money so you could afford to take your young un to the doctor, The McCloud plantation always been fair, we going to carry on that tradition! We don’t need no bondsmen no more, according to Crick there ain`t no jails around here, no more bonds, no fines, no rich folks trying to get no richer, it’s just us and the little bit we have and those less fortunate we trying to help to replace what’s lost, ain`t that right Crick?” Clem said.
“Well yeah, but we need to talk about that a bit more. I would like to find my two friends first before going to the river, like Crick said he’s one of the good ones, have no fears about him!” Loomis declared.
“I know me and ma needed a hand out or help up sometime. If someone wanted to help us out they wasn’t always in it for the profit. We used to call that being a good Christian, guess they got names for it all nowadays what with no government food stamps nor such things anymore. I don’t know about being Christian all the time though, that holier than thou preacher down at the four lane there got kinda handsy with me and my Ma when we needed some donated clothes from down there once.” Rossy said not sure about what intentions were sometimes represented as always.
“I fi
xed him good for you Rossy. I don’t think anybody’s heard about him in five counties have they?” Clem said before spitting on the ground.
Loomis and Crick eyed each other with a bit of sorrow over the ways of the world and how these families had survived so long without society around to help them for so long and now these good souls were going to be the salvation for so many.
“Now when the hell do I get to go see my brainy contraption work? I’ll explain everything later about how to find your friends, do we have to go gallivanting off to find your two friends first or can we go ahead on down to the landing? Hey Crick, you better keep that tractor close to the shore, that paddle wheeler thing is older than the hills; keep you and it close to shore in case it decides to show its age and come apart at a seam! Why don’t we honk our horns along the way to the landing and maybe them two will hear and come see what all the commotion’s about!” Clem said not to be put off any longer than necessary today, from what he called ‘floating the boat”
“How about me and you Clem just take ourselves a run up and down the highway a mile or two in each direction and see if those two made it up here that far? If they made it past this access road then they might be trying their hand at hitch hiking, you know, we will just take us a quick little look see around the general area before we take off and test the machine! I gave you enough gas for that little jaunt, didn’t I? I might be able to spare a bit more if not”” Crick said thinking about what was best thing to do at the moment.
Well I suppose we could, but it’s gonna cost you a tiny might though. If I agree that we are gonna ride a few miles up and down the road looking for your lost friends Frick and Frack the Fresno twins first, then we gotta come to some terms, do you agree?” Clem said speculatively.