Badger the Mystical Mutt and the Enchanting Exchange

by Lyn McNicol

  “Did you see a big beast with two horns and chunky boots a moment ago?” Pickle shouted to Badger.

  “Er … no. Not round here. I think I would have noticed that,” fibbed the Mystical Mutt.

  “Come on, Pickle,” urged Pogo Paws. “It’s late and I need to go to bed. Let’s just leave it tonight.”

  Pickle sighed, and grumbling about disappearing minotaurs, she followed Pogo Paws further up the lane to their box, a little miffed, but still with her collar displayed proudly. However, as they lay down to sleep, Pickle could not forget the vision of the escaped minotaur, and decided to alert the circus ringmaster first thing in the morning.

  Back in Badger’s garden, an invisible minotaur was exasperated.

  “Sorry!” said Badger sheepishly “That went a bit skew-whiff. I got my invisible spell mixed up with my shrinking spell. Don’t worry, I’ll fix it. Where are you exactly?”

  Minty groaned and shook his invisible head.

  The next morning, Pogo Paws awoke with a long yawn and a stretch. He rubbed his eyes and turned around to speak to Pickle, but there was an empty space where she usually lay.

  I wonder where she’s gone, thought Pogo Paws, peering up and down the lane. She’s normally a sleepy head in the morning.

  While Pogo Paws gave himself a good scratch and pondered on his pal’s whereabouts, Pickle was already at the circus tent talking to the ringmaster.

  “I saw it. I definitely saw it up the lane, outside Badger the Mystical Mutt’s garden,” said Pickle urgently.

  “Are you sure? It’s really big with two horns, chunky boots and a cape,” said the ringmaster doubtfully.

  “I’m three million times sure. The minotaur was right here in the lane. And I’ll bet Badger the Mystical Mutt has something to do with it,” she blustered.

  “Okay then, but we’ve searched the lane. However, I’ll round up the clowns again, and send them in.”

  “Follow me,” said Pickle. “Then, when I’m proved right, do I get my reward?”

  “If what you say is true, then you can have your reward gladly,” said the ringmaster.

  Yum yum, thought Pickle.

  In Badger’s garden, the Mystical Mutt was still trying to make Minty visible when Pogo Paws arrived in a fluster.

  “Have you seen Pickle this morning, Badger?” asked Pogo Paws anxiously.

  “Not since last night, when she thought she’d seen the minotaur. Speaking of which, I have a rather urgent spell to do right now. So, if you’ll excuse me?” Badger turned his back on Pogo Paws and said:

  “Right, Minty, concentrate. Here goes:

  With saffron rice, sugary mice,

  And a droplet of some honeydew,

  Reverse, unwind, twist and find,

  And bring my friend here into view.”

  Badger stepped backwards and turned around three times to face where he thought Minty was. Sparkles of light appeared around him, and suddenly he was knee-high to the minotaur. Pogo Paws gasped.

  “It worked, it worked!” yelled Badger happily.

  “Uh oh!” said Minty, pointing to a row of bright red noses lining the top of the fence behind Badger.

  Badger turned around to see the clowns’ hooters and Pickle peering through.

  “Told you he was there!” she shouted gleefully. Pogo Paws closed his eyes in despair.

  Suddenly, six clowns, one ringmaster, three acrobatic cats and a ten-legged Cockerpoo rampaged through Badger’s garden with a huge net, and attempted to throw it over the minotaur, who was trembling next to the sundial.

  But Badger was ready with his next plan.

  “Show koo ray, show koo ray,

  Make these intruders go away,

  ’Chief, chief, do your stuff,

  Make the minotaur tough enough.

  Let him soar in the sky above,

  And glide along like a peaceful dove.”

  Badger’s red neckerchief unfurled immediately from his neck, transforming itself into a sturdy helicopter propeller. It attached itself to Minty’s backbone, and soon the enormous beast was hovering in the air.

  The clowns flapped their feet, the ringmaster bellowed and swiped, the acrobatic cats leapt and the Cockerpoo yelped, but no one could catch Minty.

  The ringmaster huddled with his crew and then emerged with a stack of Minty’s favourite snack: delicious alfalfa hay.

  “It’s a sucker for this hay. This should do the trick. Stand back and watch!”

  “Oh, Minty,” shouted the ringmaster affectionately, fluttering his eyelashes and smiling sweetly. “Look what I’ve got?” He waved the hay above him, just under the minotaur’s nose.

  Badger put his paws over his eyes. He couldn’t bear to look, as he’d already discovered how much minotaurs loved hay.

  “Let me down, ’Chief’,” pleaded the minotaur as he reached to sniff the tasty hay.

  ’Chief hovered lower.

  “It’s the good stuff — alfalfa — isn’t it?” the minotaur asked in disbelief. “I only usually get that when we’ve had a sell-out.”

  “But we will have a sell-out if you come back to us, Minty,” pleaded the ringmaster. “And you can have this every day, because we love you.”

  ’Chief sighed, stopped flapping and returned to Badger’s neck, as Minty landed on the ground. The clowns surged forward and threw the huge net around the minotaur.

  “Great! Now, you’ll be in time for the next show. Back to work!” yelled the ringmaster, yanking the hay out of reach.

  The minotaur, not quite sure how he’d actually managed to enter Badger’s garden in the first place, followed his captors to the fence, his shoulders slumped.

  “Oh, before I forget, here’s your reward,” cackled the ringmaster, throwing Pickle a measly few crunchy-munchy chewy chops.

  Badger and Pogo Paws glared at Pickle as Minty bust his way through the fence towards the circus, leaving a minotaur-sized gaping hole.

  “So it was you who betrayed us?” said Pogo Paws angrily.

  “I didn’t betray you,” said Pickle defensively, “There was a reward for catching the minotaur, although this is hardly a year’s supply,” she added, looking scornfully at the couple of chewy chops in her paw.

  “I am so disappointed, Pickle,” frowned Pogo Paws. “How could you do that to Badger?”

  Pickle shrugged.

  “Pickle, the minotaur isn’t happy in the circus. He desperately wants to go home, and came to me for help,” said Badger gently.

  “Well,” said Pickle defiantly, “how on earth, was I supposed to know that?”

  “You weren’t,” said Pogo Paws, “but now you do. I understand how it feels to be homesick, so we need to help the minotaur get back home. And in order to do that, we have to help it escape again. Are you up for it, Pickle?”

  Pickle shimmied uncomfortably. “Is that allowed? After I’ve just picked up the reward for his capture?”

  “Well, I won’t tell if you won’t,” chuckled Badger.

  But at the far end of the lane, posters were already appearing about the circus’s forthcoming final performance.

  The touring troupe was moving on at noon the next day.

  Badger, Pogo Paws and Pickle didn’t have long to form a plan to rescue Minty, and get him home to Esterious.

  Back in Badger’s garden, the three dogs looked forlornly at the minotaur-shaped hole in the fence, and scratched their heads.

  “If I could just perfect my shrinking spell, I could help the minotaur find his way home,” said Badger.

  “But we don’t actually know where home is for him, apart from the fact it’s in a labyrinth,” said Pogo Paws.

  “A labby rinse? Is that not where labradors have their baths?” asked a puzzled Pickle.

  Badger sighed. “It’s a Labyrinth, Pickle, and we’re not likely to find one of them on the lane or anywhere nearby, because Minty said it was located in a parallel universe. Somewhere in Esterious, wherever that is!”

  “A pally-well yoo
ni verse? What’s that then, rhyming friends?” asked an even more bewildered Pickle.

  Badger smirked and explained: “A parallel universe, Pickle, is like another world that exists separately from ours … but at the same time.”

  Pickle scratched her head.

  They all sat and thought very, very hard.

  Suddenly, Badger jumped up.

  “I know who might be able to help me! Baby Unicorn! He knows about stuff like this. Plus,” said Badger, trying to remember, “I’m sure Minty mentioned something about the Enchanted Forest and my unicorn.”

  “Ah!” said Pogo Paws. “Does this involve your famous Wim-Wim?”

  “Indeed, it does, so I have to leave right now,” said Badger.

  “Can we come with you?” asked Pogo Paws and Pickle excitedly.

  “Not this time, chums. You two need to go and see what’s happening backstage at the circus. So scarper!”

  Pogo Paws and Pickle left Badger’s garden and headed for the circus.

  When they arrived, there was hustle and bustle all around them. The performers were practising their act for the finale performance: jugglers juggled; acrobatic cats tumbled; clowns ruffled their collars and filled up their water squirters; baton-twirlers on stilts teetered; unicyclists raced; plate-spinners spun; trapeze artists swung; tightrope walkers balanced; and the rola-bolas see-sawed. As the brass band tuned up, a glockenspiel tinkled and the ringmaster, at the centre of it all, cracked his whip and twirled his handle-bar moustache.

  Pogo Paws stood quietly watching it all. His heart ached to be part of it again, and to be back with his family.

  “The smell of the greasepaint and the sawdust brings back so many memories, Pickle,” said Pogo Paws, as a tear rolled down his face.

  “Oh, pull yourself together!” said Pickle sharply. “This isn’t the same circus you came from. You said it has never returned. It’s probably in the same place as Minty’s labby rinse, so get a grip. We’ve got work to do.”

  Pogo Paws sighed and muttered to himself. “I’d love to go home too.”

  Pickle ignored him, marched forward and shouted: “Follow me!”

  They crept into the wooden benches for the audience, and crawled out of view on their tummies, towards the curtained stage entrance.

  “Oh no!” said Pogo Paws. “They’ve got guard dogs at the backstage curtain. We’ll never get past them.”

  “Right,” said Pickle, “what we need is a disguise.” Pogo Paws followed as Pickle crawled back to where the clowns were practising their slapstick routine. “Stay there,” she whispered.

  While Pogo Paws hid in the shadows, Pickle picked up a nearby juggler’s ball and threw it as hard as she could. It landed just to the side of the clowns and rolled forward. Startled, the clowns stumbled towards the ball, leaving Pickle free to rush towards a trunk she’d spied. She dragged it back towards Pogo Paws.

  “Let’s see what we’ve got here.” Pickle opened the lid of the clowns’ dressing-up box.

  “Wow!” said Pogo Paws, pulling out a multi-coloured spiky wig, a red nose, a bow tie and two huge flipper-shaped yellow shoes.

  “Epic!” said Pickle, finding a wonky top hat with a squirty flower, a long fat neck tie, a harlequin jacket and a massive pair of spectacles.

  “This should do the trick. Quick, put them on,” instructed Pickle.

  Meanwhile, in the Enchanted Forest, Badger had already arrived in the Crystal Cave and was explaining Minty’s problem to his friend, Baby Unicorn.

  “Badger, as Minty hinted, there’s a portal right here for the labyrinth, but it only opens during a very rare total solar eclipse. The Big Folk call it a ‘ring of fire’. But first, let me show you something,” said Baby Unicorn.

  The unicorn pointed its horn at the back wall of the cave, where a screen flickered into life. On it, Badger saw Pogo Paws as a pup, performing happily in a circus, and surrounded by his family. Then he saw Minty bumbling about his maze contentedly.

  “So Pogo Paws really did come from a circus, and he really is homesick,” said Badger. “But Minty is desperate to go home and I really want to help him.”

  Baby Unicorn sighed and said: “So, there has to be an Enchanting Exchange.”

  Badger stared at Baby Unicorn with his eyebrows twitching. He was well and truly flummoxed.

  The unicorn continued: “An Enchanting Exchange is a bit like a Swap Shop. In order to get something you want, you have to give something away. Which means that for the minotaur to go back to his labyrinth, Pogo Paws must leave Pickle forever, and go back to his long-lost circus. Once the Exchange happens, it cannot be altered. It calls for some extremely powerful magic, as well as that all-important eclipse.”

  “But I can’t even do a shrinking spell properly, never mind an Enchanting Exchange,” said Badger apprehensively. Back at the circus, Pogo Paws and Pickle could not stop giggling. They had now decided to call themselves “the Tumble Twins”, and were enjoying their clown disguises. They walked straight through the stage curtains, undetected by the guard dogs.

  Everything was in darkness. In a corner, they heard sobbing, and found the minotaur shackled inside his cage.

  “Pssssssssssssssst! We’re Badger’s pals, Pogo Paws and Pickle. Look over here,” whispered Pickle.

  The minotaur lifted his head wearily and looked towards the whispered voice.

  “You can’t make me any more miserable than I already am. Hang on … wasn’t it you, Pickle, who told them where I was? And now I’m back here again.”

  “I’m really sorry,” said Pickle, “But we’re here to help you now. Look.”

  Pogo Paws and Pickle stepped closer till the minotaur could see them more clearly. Minty guffawed with laughter. “Really? Dressed like that? What are you going to do? Boggle me with your buffoonery?”

  “Badger is on the case. He’s gone to see Baby Unicorn,” whispered Pogo Paws. “So hang in there. We’ll be back.”

  Minty shook his head in despair.

  Back in the lane, Badger had returned to his garden. Time was running out.

  I know exactly what I need, thought Badger.

  At the back of his shed lay a pile of old spell books. He rummaged through them, and then spotted it: his book of Potions, Planets and Plots. He blew off the dust and carefully turned its ancient pages.

  To his amazement, he discovered that there was a total solar eclipse scheduled for the very next day.

  Pogo Paws and Pickle scurried through the minotaur-shaped hole in Badger’s fence. They were still dressed as the Tumble Twins, and startled the Mystical Mutt, who was busy working on his shrinking spell.

  “It’s us, it’s us!” said Pickle excitedly. “Can’t you tell? Gosh, these disguises really are awesome.”

  “Can you at least remove your snazzy spectacles and stop your flower from squirting water please, Pickle,” said Badger, rubbing his eyes and shaking his head.

  “Oops, sorry, of course!” grinned Pickle. “But we’ve had such fun, haven’t we, Pogo Paws? I quite like being a clown.”

  “Good. Perhaps you can see now why Pogo Paws loved being in the circus.” Badger looked at Pickle pointedly. “Now, tell me, did you find Minty?”

  “We did,” said Pogo Paws proudly. “And we told him you were planning his escape. How did you get on with your pal, Baby Unicorn?”

  “The portal for the labyrinth is in the Crystal Cave, and we can get Minty home. But it’s not going to be easy. And there’s one other tiny detail as well …”

  Pogo Paws and Pickle looked at Badger expectantly as he continued: “Pogo Paws must also return home.”

  Pogo Paws clapped his paws together, but Pickle looked confused.

  “I don’t understand, Badger. Pogo Paws is already home … here on the lane.”

  “Not really,” said Badger softly. “This isn’t your true home, is it, Pogo Paws? Your home is in the circus, where your family is too.”

  Pogo Paws nodded sadly and patted Pickle’s paw. Pickle turned and r
an off.

  “You’ll have to talk to her, Pogo Paws, because if you go back to your circus, it won’t be easy to come back here to see Pickle,” said Badger seriously.

  “I understand,” said Pogo Paws. “I’ll go and find her and explain.”

  As Pogo Paws turned to go after Pickle, he said, “Thank you, Badger. You’ve no idea how much this chance to go home means to me.”

  Badger nodded and walked over to his sundial to summon his Wim-Wim. He had another urgent trip to make. He had to get to the Ring of Brodgar to meet Captain Bravebark, for only he could tell him the spell required for the Enchanting Exchange. Out in the lane, Pogo Paws searched high and low for his best friend, Pickle, but she was nowhere to be found. He sat down wearily in his box and looked fondly up and down the lane.

  This had been his home for so long, since he’d been left behind by his beloved circus. He’d had great times here, and Pickle, although she scolded him constantly, had supported him through thick and thin. What if life wasn’t better in the circus of his childhood, even though he would be back with his family? What if his life here on the lane, with Pickle, really was happier?

  Under the shadow of the old oak tree, Pickle was hiding. She was crying. Pickle had never cried before, but she couldn’t believe that her best friend, Pogo Paws, annoying as he was, was willing to abandon her forever.

  Badger and his Wim-Wim had reached the Ring of Brodgar in record time, and Captain Bravebark was waiting to greet him.

  “I got your p-mail, Badger. Everything is ready,” shouted Bravebark. “Follow me.”

  Badger followed the Captain to a big, tall, sloping standing stone.

  “Now, here is where we can ignite the spell, which will activate at exactly the right moment of the solar eclipse. Repeat after me:

  With pebbles from Pluto,

  And red dust from Mars,