Quit Bein' Ugly

by Vale, Lani Lynn

  A grunt and a curse had me blinking my eyes open to see a brick landing on the mat beside my head.

  I stared at it, then looked over my shoulder just in time to see Karen hurrying through the window as if she broke them every day to get into where she was going.

  She all but stepped on me in her haste to get through, and I slipped sideways on the mat, falling between the wall and the thick mat that everyone liked to use as a bed.

  As I did, I ended up concealing myself mostly, if inadvertently.

  Everything in the room went silent as all movement stopped.

  “I cannot believe you, Croft,” Karen hissed, standing on the mat as if she did it every day. “How could you do this to me?”

  I saw Croft scan the room for me but not find me, and I popped up a bit more to show him where I was.

  He saw me, tagged me, then swiftly looked away.

  “I don’t think I know what you’re going on about, Karen,” Croft said. “Would you care to share?”

  Karen snorted. “You don’t know… you lost me my job! Both of them!”

  Croft looked over at Flint, then back to Karen. “Karen…”

  “I asked for my job back because I didn’t get what I needed from you, and then you wouldn’t give it to me. Is it because of her?” Karen demanded to know.

  “Who is her?” Croft asked.

  “Her being that bitch that you couldn’t take your eyes off of. She asked you to fire me, didn’t she?” Karen snarled. “That stupid fat gym owner that could never compete against me. But no, Croft has to find the ugly duckling appealing. Her! Not me. How does that make any sense?”

  What a bitch!

  I was not an ugly duckling!

  So rude.

  “Umm,” Croft said. “I happen to think that she’s beautiful. She’s intelligent, calls people when they’re needed, and ultimately makes my heart smile. You do none of those things, Karen.”

  Calls people when they’re needed.

  Doh!

  I quickly dialed 911 and hoped that she wouldn’t hear the call that was placed.

  If I didn’t talk, would they send someone to my location?

  “I’m everything that she’s not. I have a degree. I’m successful. I won beauty pageants!” she cried. “I bet you can’t say the same thing about your ugly duckling.”

  I rolled my eyes hard and set my phone up slightly so that the person on the other end of the line could hear what was being said.

  “Flint Stone is an officer, Karen,” Croft said, trying to relay information to the cops. “You should leave. Go to a police station and turn yourself in for stealing my computer.”

  “Why did you steal the computer?” Flint asked. “What was in it for you?”

  Karen shifted on the mat, causing it to squeak.

  “There’s nothing really in it for me right now. But in a few years, when the partners that I was working with decided to add me in, I would jump to the front of the line,” Karen explained.

  “Partners?” Flint asked.

  “Partners Law Firm,” Croft guessed. “You’re working for the enemy?”

  If I remembered correctly, Partners didn’t have ‘innocent’ clientele. They were criminal defense attorneys. And, from what I’d heard, always out for the buck. They’d represent anyone. Even a child killer.

  “Sure.” Karen shrugged. “If you want to call it that. But then I was ‘caught’ with your computer, and they said that I was too much of a liability and they let me go. After all that I’d done for them!”

  “Is that who Alfie worked for, too?” Croft asked. “He shot me, you know.”

  “He wasn’t supposed to do that.” Karen shook her head. “He was supposed to just get the computer. He was fired, too. Because he shot you. Though they are representing him. Which I’ve been told is not a conflict of interest.”

  I wanted to thunk my head against the mat. I would have had she not sounded so utterly confident in her words.

  Was this woman serious?

  “Why did he shoot me?” Croft asked, his eyes going to something over Karen’s shoulder, then back down.

  “Because you pissed him off. Took his girl.” Karen shrugged. “He has a crush on the ugly duckling, too. I’m not sure what in the hell there is about that woman that draws everyone’s attention, but it’s really getting old.”

  I rolled my eyes.

  To have Alfie’s attention fixed on me wasn’t a good thing.

  Not after learning that he was an almost-murderer. Would have been an actual murderer had he been a better shot.

  “But that’s neither here nor there…” She squeaked when she was all of a sudden tackled to the ground.

  That’s when I saw Schultz make use of the mat that usually was reserved for passing out on. Not tackling women on.

  That was also when I saw the gun that she had in her waistband.

  “She has a gun, Schultz!” I called out.

  Schultz, having no idea where I was, ultimately listened and went up onto his knees. He easily pulled the gun free of her waistband and tossed it in the direction of the wall.

  It hit with a resounding thud.

  Flint went over to it and kicked it farther into the corner while he watched.

  I stayed exactly where I was until Schultz was done and moving off the mat. And even then I stayed because I didn’t want to startle him.

  “You can come out now, baby,” Croft said softly.

  He stepped onto the mat and held out his hand.

  I took it, and he hauled me up as if I weighed nothing.

  “Why do you think you’re able to move better than I do when I’m not hurt?” I grumbled under my breath. “I just seriously watched you do thirty minutes on that assault bike, using only your legs. You should be dead right now.”

  He chuckled, but then pressed his face into my neck and blew out a deep breath. “That could’ve been so bad.”

  I silently concurred. I didn’t agree, though, because I really didn’t want him to know that I’d been deeply scared.

  “You have blood running down your neck, sis,” Flint said.

  Croft pulled back so fast that I stumbled.

  “What?” he asked, concerned.

  “I’m okay,” I promised.

  “You’ve got blood,” he growled. “That doesn’t mean you’re okay.”

  I sighed. “I was cut by the glass. Don’t freak out.”

  Except, apparently, I was a little more hurt than I realized, because in the next second, I passed the hell out.

  Luckily, I had a big padded mat to break my fall.

  CHAPTER 19

  Hit me baby one s’more time.

  -Text from Carmichael to Croft

  CROFT

  Seeing her pass out in my arms, I thought, was the scariest thing that had ever happened to me.

  “I’m okay!” Carmichael growled.

  “I know,” I lied. “But we’re getting you checked out anyway. I think that cut on the back of your neck needs stitches.”

  There was no thinking about it. Just looking at it I knew that she did.

  “I’m. Fine,” she hissed as she tried to pull away from me.

  I gently placed both of my hands on either side of her face to force her to look at me, and she stilled.

  “Baby,” I growled. “You have a gash on the back of your neck that’s so big I can see your spine.”

  Okay, so maybe it wasn’t that big. But it was freakin’ deep, and I hadn’t actually looked too closely at it once I had the gauze in place. I didn’t want to.

  Seeing her skin broken open like that was nauseating. Not because I wasn’t able to handle that kind of thing, but because I couldn’t handle seeing Carmichael hurt.

  “Listen, Mikey,” Flint said. “Don’t be a little bitch. Go to the hospital. Get checked out.”

  Carmichael rolled her eyes. “I was going to go before you called me a little bitch, thank you very much.”

  “Good,” Flint snapped. “Now go.”<
br />
  “What about class?” she asked.

  I caught her by the hand.

  “This place will likely be a little busy for a couple of classes. I’ll hold them outside once the morning hits,” he said. “And you don’t have to come tomorrow. I have it handled.”

  “Of course, you do,” she grumbled. “Let’s go before I change my mind.”

  It was only when we were at the hospital that I realized what the problem really was.

  She didn’t like needles.

  “How did I not know that you don’t like needles?” I asked as she was poked for the third time as they numbed the area.

  She shot me a disgusted look. “I don’t like to advertise.”

  “You are so adorable,” I grinned.

  She flipped me the bird, and the doctor pressed the needle into her flesh one last time.

  “We’ll give that fifteen minutes to work,” the doctor said. “Then I’ll be back.”

  When he left, I was left staring at my girl.

  “You know,” I said. “I think I changed my mind.”

  Her brows rose. “About what?”

  “Seeing you today, squeezed behind that mat, made me realize something,” I said.

  Her eyebrows went upward.

  “And that was…” she urged.

  “Well, I don’t really want you to move in with me,” I mused.

  Her mouth fell open.

  And before she could start getting really bent out of shape, I continued talking.

  “I want you to marry me. Then I want to buy a bigger house that we can plant some babies in,” I continued. “Maybe we can find one that is ours. Not yours or mine.”

  Her shoulders slumped.

  “And maybe we can find one with a bigger yard that can support all the dogs that you can’t help but bring home,” I continued. “Speaking of, Schultz said something about you pairing him with a dog. I think you should pair us with a dog. Give Lion a playmate.”

  She started to cry.

  “Don’t cry.” I reached forward and wiped away a few stray tears. “Is that a yes?”

  She sniffled and wiped at her eyes. “I think I’d really, really like that.”

  • • •

  When we arrived home, it was to find Flint, Camryn, my parents, Ezra and Raleigh, and their son in my house.

  When we walked inside, the smell of lasagna filled my nose.

  “Oh, God,” Carmichael breathed. “That smells so freakin’ good.”

  “Good, you’re home,” Mom cooed. “It’s time to eat. I literally just took the garlic bread out of the oven.”

  Carmichael groaned as she made her way to the kitchen.

  “So, what’s the damage?” Raleigh asked as we moved into the room.

  “Seven stitches,” I answered. “There was still a piece of glass that was imbedded in her neck. That was the white I saw before we covered it up.”

  Raleigh gagged. “Gross.”

  “Agreed.” Camryn looked green.

  “So did y’all find anything else out?” I asked curiously as I held out a chair for Carmichael to take.

  “Yes and no.” Flint grinned. “We got the two of them, Alfie and Karen, into the same interrogation room. And I accidentally let it drop that Carmichael was in the hospital thanks to what Karen had done. And Alfie all but flipped his lid.” He turned to look at his sister. “Seems like you have an admirer.”

  “What happened?” she asked quietly.

  “Alfie exposed all. Like, I’m talking, told everything,” he continued. “Apparently, Alfie works for Partners as a computer analyst. When he got a job at the school, Carmichael mentioned needing a computer. And they got to talking. Apparently, the next day, she came in with Croft’s computer. At some point, Partners discussed needing an advantage, and Alfie suggested using the computer that used to be Croft’s. They’d already planted Karen into their law firm to get intel that way, but they thought that this would be perfect, too.”

  “Meaning that they’re being complete douchebags, breaking the law, all to get a leg up and let criminals go free,” I found myself saying.

  “Essentially,” Flint agreed. “Karen wasn’t accomplishing much on her end, either. So they were pulling her out. That’s why she put in her notice.” He paused. “As for Alfie’s something extra, i.e. shooting you, that was all him. He didn’t like that you were taking his girl.”

  “I’m not Alfie’s anything,” Carmichael snarled.

  “Well, he thought you were.” Raleigh plated up some lasagna and handed it to her.

  Carmichael started cutting into it almost the second it was placed in front of her.

  I went and got my own food, coming back with four pieces of garlic bread before saying, “What else?”

  “Partners will now be answering some really uncomfortable questions. Alfie will go to trial for attempted murder, and Karen will likely be disbarred.” Flint shrugged. “Along with being charged with assault, destruction of property, and whatever else that we can find to pin on her.”

  “Aces,” Carmichael said between bites.

  Camryn snorted. “Well, on that note, I guess this would be a great time to tell you that tomorrow I’m being induced to have this baby.”

  Everyone squealed.

  Flint looked downright flabbergasted.

  “Well, since we’re sharing good news, I should probably announce that Ezra and I are going to have another baby.” Raleigh clapped.

  Everyone cheered all over again.

  Then all eyes turned to Carmichael and me. “Don’t look at us. We’re not having any babies just yet. We only got engaged today.”

  Flint turned a dirty look toward me. “You were supposed to ask me for her hand in marriage.”

  “I did,” I said. “Today, actually.”

  “Well.” Flint shrugged. “You never got your answer.”

  “I took the silence as a yes.” I snorted.

  “That silence was supposed to appear as if I didn’t want to give you permission,” he countered.

  “Oh?” I laughed. “Imagine that.”

  “I’m so glad that we’re all going to somehow, in a convoluted way, all be sisters.” Raleigh clapped again. “I hope that we all have babies together.”

  When Carmichael’s eyes met mine in silent question, I couldn’t help the smile that lit my face.

  “I’m down if you are.”

  CHAPTER 20

  Treat me like a princess and choke me.

  -Text from Carmichael to Croft

  CROFT

  Two months later

  The wedding march started to play, and I snapped my head up to look in the direction of the double doors at the back of the gym.

  Raleigh, who was my best man, stood at my side, sniffling.

  The doors opened, and my breath caught in my throat.

  Tears threatened my eyes, and it took everything I had to hold them back.

  Why didn’t I cry? Because I didn’t want the tears to interrupt my view.

  Because, goddamn, was Carmichael in her wedding dress the best thing that I’d ever seen.

  The dress she was wearing was white, skin-tight at the top, and flowy at the bottom. There were what had to be a hundred thousand crystals all over her top half, and each time she moved or breathed, the light from above her would catch one and cause it to sparkle.

  But though her dress was beautiful, it was her eyes that had me staring in awe.

  They were directed solely on me, and they were filled with so much love that I was finding it hard to breathe.

  “Damn,” Raleigh gasped. “I don’t know what she sees in you.”

  I snorted, my grin widening.

  “Me neither,” I admitted.

  I’d always felt like that, though.

  Each time she looked at me, it felt like I would grow an inch taller.

  Flint, who was walking her down the aisle, said something in her ear to make her laugh, and I felt my heart literally stop in my chest.

&n
bsp; When it resumed, it was at a much faster beat.

  “Congrats, brother,” Raleigh whispered.

  Then Flint was there, stopping in front of me, unaware of just what he was giving me.

  “Who gives this woman?” the preacher asked behind me.

  “I do.” Flint’s voice cracked halfway through.

  I licked my suddenly dry lips and reached for her hand.

  We’d bucked the traditional wedding vows, and instead decided to write our own.

  “You okay?” I asked just as she was about to listen to me recite mine.

  “Yes,” she whispered.

  Winking at her, I started.

  “I choose you. I choose you through good times and bad. I choose you through the pressures of the present and the uncertainties of the future. I promise to give you the best of myself. I promise to always choose you first. I promise to always cheer you on during a CrossFit competition, and never no-rep you. Within reason, anyway. You can’t be cheating blatantly and expect me to give you that,” I teased.

  She threw her head back and laughed.

  And, while she was laughing, I said, “I promise to always be there for you if you need me. I promise to always come home to you every night. I promise that, when you are no longer of this Earth, there will never be anyone else…”

  “Croft,” she whispered.

  “Because you’re it for me, Carmichael. You’re my sun and my moon. The stars in my sky. The freakin’ weights to my barbell. I choose you to be my wife.”

  At that, she started to cry, wiping away the tears as she laughed so hard.

  Once she’d gained control of herself again, she looked into my eyes.

  “Croft,” she whispered. “I take you to be my husband. From this day forward, I will forever be there every morning when you wake up. I will never go to bed without you. There will never be another for me, and I’ll have and hold you from this day forward.” She licked her lips. “I promise to never hit you too hard when you’re snoring at night. I promise to never purposefully tempt you with bad food, and always attend every single CrossFit competition you make it into.” She wiped at her eyes that were still leaking tears. “I promise to always listen to you when I want to, and always support you through your grumpy moods after a bad day at the office. I promise that from this day forward, we will always be swole mates.”