Wrestling With Love

by Whitney Shope

  “You know that I love you, don't you Mila?” Trevor suddenly said.

  “Of course. And I hope you know I love you so much.”

  “I do. So, you have to believe me when I say that I will never let anything bad happen to you or our daughter. I'll die before I'll let that happen!”

  Trevor let out a slight chuckle.

  “You know it's funny. I've spent my whole life trying to be enough. Just to be good enough to be worthy. Busting my ass to be the best at whatever I do, looking for anything that felt like acceptance. I told myself it was to carry on for my Mom's sake, to make her proud. But the truth I've had to face in these last few days is...”

  He took a deep, shaky breath.

  “All along it's been his approval I've battled for, his acceptance, to be seen as enough to him. But then, I realized somewhere in there I stopped trying for his approval. It just didn't matter anymore. And that was when I met you.”

  Mila brushed a stray hair out of his face, and he leaned into her touch.

  “See this, this right here is the only approval I need now. To know that I'm enough for you, that you still want me, still need me. So, when you said that -”

  “Trevor-”

  “I guess it just opened up old wounds that I should've just been honest with you about, but I didn't know how to say, ‘hey I'm desperate for the approval and acceptance I never got from my father’ without sending you running screaming in the other direction!”

  Mila took his face in both of her hands and turned his head, so he was looking right into her eyes.

  “Please believe me when I say that you are more than enough; you are everything and you always will be. I don't know why I said what I said. I guess you're not the only one walking around here with reopened wounds. I thought I’d lost my world, lost my identity, any chance at happiness. You gave that back to me, and I promise you Trevor that you're always accepted and loved by me. Always.”

  Trevor slid a hand up to cup Mila's cheek and leaned in and kissed her passionately. Pulling away, breathless, he looked into her eyes as if they held the answers to all the questions in the universe.

  “We'll get through this”, he said, “They've tried to take us both down so many times, but they've never succeeded. And they never will. Not as long as we’re fighting together on the same team.”

  “Oh!” Mila gasped.

  “What is it, what's wrong?”

  “No, apparently the baby agrees with you, she just started kicking the crap out of me!”

  Trevor smiled and put his hand on her belly.

  “That's Daddy's girl! Can you say frog splash? Hurricanrana?”

  Mila laughed at the child-like tone in his voice.

  “We need to settle on a name for her soon!” she said.

  “I've been thinking about that and maybe giving her my Mom's name as her middle name is too much. She needs to have her own identity.”

  “But your Mom is a part of her identity, baby.”

  “I know, I just don't want her to be saddled with responsibilities from birth.”

  “How about we come up with a middle name and we can give her 2 middle names? It's done quite often these days.” Mila said.

  “I don't know, maybe. What do you say we sleep on it?”

  “Lead the way... right after you help me up off this swing!”

  The next morning saw Trevor and Uncle Sammy sitting at the kitchen table, every inch of it covered in papers.

  Meanwhile upstairs, Mila and Aunt Ellen were taking some measurements and scrolling through Pinterest pages for ideas on how to fix up the nursery.

  That is until Trevor suddenly yelled from downstairs.

  “Mila! Aunt Ellen!”

  Both women ran downstairs just in time to find a chuckling Uncle Sammy and a practically giddy Trevor.

  “What?! What the hell is going on?” Mila asked frantically.

  “Tell them Uncle Sammy!”

  Aunt Ellen folded her arms across her chest, tapping her foot impatiently.

  “Yes Samuel, dear brother, please tell us what's so important it warranted giving us heart attacks!”

  “Well, I was pouring over certain aspects of the paperwork here for days, racking my brain as to why this name Carano seemed so familiar. Then I remembered the boy who lived around the corner from our house as kids Ellen, Daniel Carano?”

  “Oh yes, he had an older sister, what was her name, Angela? Beautiful girl!”

  “That's them. Danny and I were inseparable in grade school days, but then the family up and moved suddenly and I lost touch with him. That is until Trevor here found him on Facebook, right next to his son, Lorenzo.”

  Mila was pretty sure her jaw had hit the floor at that point and she just couldn’t feel it yet.

  “Star's Grandpa?” she asked.

  “Yes indeed. So, I got a hold of him, talked for a little over an hour, with Lorenzo on the line as well.”

  Mila was in absolute shock.

  “No!”

  Uncle Sammy flashed a smile that made him look as though he’d just solved the biggest case in the world.

  “Yep, turns out, being one of PEW'S biggest investors just wasn't proving to be very lucrative for him, no matter how well the company did. He's been suspecting Dominic of skimming off the books for some time now. Of course, hearing that his old buddy had also bedded his daughter, went over like a lead fart!”

  Trevor let out a combination laugh and snort.

  “A lead fart? Really Uncle Sammy?”

  “Anyway”, Uncle Sammy continued, rolling his eyes at Trevor, “in light of all this information, he's agreed to sign papers to move to throw Dominic out and let Trevor take over the role of CEO. I faxed him the papers and he said he'll have his attorney look over them, which is pretty standard, and then sign them and get them back to me.”

  “Okay, but one, he's got known ties to the mafia, how do we know we can trust him? And two, he's still only one of 3 big investors in PEW that all have to agree in order to overthrow Mr. Dona-Dominic!” Mila said.

  “The girl makes valid points Samuel.” said Aunt Ellen.

  “Oh, I wouldn't worry too much about them. One of them is Danny's brother-in-law and the other is currently sporting an orange jumpsuit and would be all too happy to rat out Dominic in exchange for a little time shaved off his sentence!”

  Trevor wrapped Mila up in a tight hug, “Isn’t this great news?!”

  “Okay, okay, put US down! Yes, it's good news!”

  “Just as long as the other shoe doesn't drop...” she thought.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  I t had been a couple of weeks since the revelations brought forth by Uncle Sammy. He and Aunt Ellen had left 2 days after the news. Uncle Sammy needed to drive back to Rochester with Aunt Ellen so he could catch his flight back to D.C. Truth be told, he was supposed to be retired but he could never trust his law firm with anyone else.

  Shockingly, true to his word, Mr. Carano signed the papers and faxed them back to Uncle Sammy. They now had his signature as well as his brother-in-law's on the documents needed to file. All they had left was to get was the signature of the third guy, Michael Mileno, which would require a visit to prison.

  But for the time being, Mila was out for dinner with the girls: Britani, Violet and Phoebe. Without work, Mila really missed her day-to-day interactions with this group of crazies that had, along the way, become her family.

  Violet sat pouting in their corner booth.

  “I can't believe you guys dragged me out to freaking Applebee's!”

  Britani face-palmed herself before looking at Violet.

  “Vi, honey what did you think, we were going to go out clubbing?”

  “Maybe...”

  “Vi, take a look at Mila.” Britani said, gesturing towards her as she spoke.

  “Hey! I'm pregnant, I didn't turn into a float in the Macy's Day Parade!”

  “And Auntie Brit Brit loves you both... but seriously Vi, does that scream ‘
night out on the town’ to you? That doesn’t say paint the town red, it barely even says paint the town beige!”

  “Dude, I am RIGHT here!” Mila said.

  Everyone had a hearty laugh, and it was almost as if you could physically feel everyone relax from their hard day.

  “So, what's the latest on the baby?” Phoebe asked.

  “Hold on, lemme check the app!”

  Mila reached in her purse and pulled out her phone.

  “Let's see, I'm 27 weeks tomorrow, so basically 6 months. It says the baby is the size of a head of lettuce -”

  Violet groaned and dropped her fork onto her plate.

  “Seriously dude, right as I'm biting into my salad?”

  After the laughter calmed down Mila continued, “Anyway, she weighs about 1.9 pounds and is getting smarter!”

  “Then she's definitely not taking after Trevor!”

  Mila glared at Violet from over the top of her phone.

  “Glass houses Vi, have you IQ tested your man lately?”

  Violet stuck her tongue out at Mila and winked as they all laughed.

  “Speaking of”, Phoebe asked, “how are things going with you and Randall?”

  “A little bumpy at times but it's been surprisingly good!”

  “You guys have been sharing his apartment for a couple months now, have you given any thought to getting your own place together?” asked Mila.

  “He's brought it up a couple times, but I shut that shit down fast!”

  “Why? Aren't you in it for the long haul with Randall?” Britani asked, looking genuinely shocked. Violet, however, appeared to be completely done with the conversation.

  “Can we change the subject please; Phoebe how are things with you and Nicole?”

  “Umm, fine. I mean we've only been together for like three weeks.”

  Phoebe had met Nicole about a month and a half ago. She was Phoebe's first serious girlfriend. Being bisexual, Phoebe had gone out with women here and there but had primarily dated men. Until Nicole, that is.

  “I thought she was joining us tonight for girl's night?” asked Britani.

  “Oh, she is, she should be here soon!” Phoebe replied.

  About 5 minutes later Nicole arrived, looking absolutely stunning! Her jet-black hair fell in waves down her caramel-colored shoulders. Her brown eyes were intense but warm and friendly at the same time.

  “Hello, hello ladies!” she said, bubbly personality on full display.

  “Hey Nicole!” Mila greeted.

  “What's up girl?” said Britani.

  Violet watched as Nicole greeted Phoebe with a quick kiss before taking her seat.

  “Okay, even I might consider switching teams for you, damn girl!”

  Britani nearly choked on her iced tea as Nicole blushed and Phoebe cracked up laughing. Mila just shook her head, a smile playing on her face the whole time.

  “Well, thank you, I think?” Nicole replied before quickly moving on.

  “Sorry I'm late, work was an absolute nightmare! Why do people suddenly become interested in art at 5 o'clock on a Friday?! I mean, you can't frequent my gallery any other time?”

  Nicole was a buyer for an art gallery in Manhattan that she co-owned with her Mom, an amazing painter in her own right.

  “No problem”, said Mila, “we were just discussing Vi's neurotic need to jeopardize every relationship she gets involved in!”

  “Yes, join us!” Britani added.

  Violet simply stabbed her last few bites of salad with her fork.

  “You guys suck!”

  The rest of dinner went by entirely too quickly. Mila hadn't realized how much she’d missed her girls. She was used to being one of the guys, but she relished her girly time.

  On the car ride home with Britani she could sense something was off with her.

  “So, are you going to tell me what's wrong or do I have to treat you to a rousing chorus of ‘We Are the World’ until you break?”

  “Oh, please God not that!” Britani answered.

  “Then start talking!”

  “Okay, so promise you won't freak out...”

  “Well, there's a comforting sentence!” Mila said.

  “I think Lucas may be about to propose!”

  Mila sat in stunned silence.

  “Mila? Mila? Well for God's sake say something!”

  Mila remained silent, internally enjoying watching Britani freak out.

  “What the hell Mila, did you malfunction?”

  “Oh. My. God. AHHHHHH!!”

  “Immediately I'm regretting this decision to tell you.”

  “Brit!! This is amazing! Wait. . .we are happy about this, right?”

  “I...”

  “Oh, dear God Brit, don't pull a Violet on me!”

  “I'm not!”

  “Then what's the problem? Don't you love Lucas?”

  Britani looked shocked that Mila would even think to ask such a thing.

  “Of course, I love him Mila!”

  “Then what?”

  “I'm scared, okay?”

  “Scared?”

  “This isn't something many people know. I even managed to keep it from the press...”

  By now the girls were parked in Mila's driveway. From the sheer look of fear on her face, Mila knew whatever Britani was about to say, it was big.

  “I've... been... I was married before, ok?”

  Mila was shocked, but not enough to understand how this was going to be a problem with Lucas. Unless...

  “Does Lucas know this?”

  Britani was gazing out the driver's side window.

  “No. I told you, I don't tell anybody. Only person in our lives who knows is Violet and that's just because she was around then.” she said.

  “What about Trevor? You guys are like siblings.”

  “Trevor was still living in Mexico at the time.”

  “Okay so, just because you were married before doesn't mean it won't work with Lucas.” Mila said as she watched tears form in Britani's eyes.

  “You don't get it Mila. My first marriage ended because of me! I did everything possible to screw it up, but worst of all, I cheated on him.”

  Unsure of what to say, Mila was silent for a moment before finally asking.

  “How did that end up happening?”

  “It wasn't like some long, drawn out affair. It was one night. But I knew, I knew what I was doing was wrong and I still didn't stop. And I actually enjoyed it Mila. Like, during it I completely forgot about my husband's existence.”

  She paused a beat before practically yelling.

  “What if that's the real me? What if that's just how I am, Mila? I couldn't do that to Lucas! I love him too much!”

  Mila cracked a knowing smile at her.

  “I believe you just answered your own question Britani.”

  “What?”

  “If you couldn't do that to Lucas because you love him too much, then what does that say about your love for him vs. your love for your ex-husband?”

  “I -”

  “Lemme ask you, were you happy in your marriage at the time you cheated?”

  “Not... really. He hated me being a wrestler, even though he knew who I was when he married me.” Britani said.

  “And you resented him for it because you felt like if he didn't love you being a wrestler then he must not love you because wrestling is such a major part of who you are. And so, you wanted to hurt him. You enjoyed doing what you did because you just wanted him to hurt half as much as he hurt you.”

  By now, Britani's tears were flowing. Through sniffles she finally said; “Since when did you get a frigging PhD?”

  Mila’s face turned serious.

  “Since I watched my parents do the same thing.”

  “What?! I thought your family was so uppity.”

  “They are, it covers up a lot of the truth. Which is, my Mom cheated on my Dad. Mom wanted to be an artist; she is a hell of a sculptor I'll give her that. But she wanted to be
an artist, travel the globe. Dad thought once they married, she'd settle down and stop wanting that. But she didn't.”

  Britani listened intently. “So, what happened?”

  “So, she became miserable and wound up cheating on my Dad with some painter guy. Only, instead of realizing that obviously neither of them was happy and just ending it, they bowed to social and familial pressures and stayed married. . .and miserable. But you got out Brit. You got out of the misery and found a wonderful guy who loves you for you, craziness and all!”

  Both girls laughed lightly.

  “Don't let him get away Brit. You deserve to be happy!”

  “Oh, come here Dr. Phil!”

  Britani stretched her arms out for a hug as both girls laughed through their tears.

  “Thank you, Mila. I love you.”

  “I love you too girl. Now I better get in the house before Trevor sends out a search party!”

  After saying their goodbyes, Mila made her way into the house. It was completely dark except for a slight glow coming from the family room.

  “Trevor?”

  She slowly rounded the corner to the family room - only to find Trevor, sweatpants hanging dangerously low on his waist, standing there, candles lit around the room.

  “I was beginning to think you were going to leave me hanging here!” he said.

  “Trevor what's all this?”

  “Well, you've been carrying so much stress, not to mention my child, and I know it's not good for you to keep that all bottled up. So, I thought I'd give you a spa night at home.” he said, bowing dramatically.

  “My name is Trevor; I'll be your masseuse madam.”

  “Oh, well hello Trevor but I'm afraid you can't be my masseuse.”

  “Why?”

  “Well, I have this extremely jealous professional wrestler fiancé and if he saw you with your hands on me there's no telling what he would do.”

  After a thoughtful moment, Trevor walked up and wrapped his arms around Mila.

  “I can take him!”

  Mila stood in front of the full-length mirror just staring at her belly.

  She had officially hit the 30-week mark and quite frankly, she was tired as hell!

  “I swear to God Brit, I never knew skin could stretch this far! It's like my belly's a rubber band pulled back ready to snap at any minute!”