by H. D. Gordon
When I got there, I was feeling mildly disoriented. I couldn’t take my mind off of the village and the people who called it home. Soraya’s little face was stuck in my memory like a fly in a spider web. The shoeless people, whose faces had held no hope, haunted my mind in an almost agonizing way. I couldn’t help but feel responsible for them. I wanted so badly to do something to help them. I wanted so badly to help her. To hold her tiny body in my arms and tell her over and over how wonderful she was. Her words replayed in my head a thousand times: I’m damaged. They made me want to lash out and hit someone, to hurt anyone who dare tell her that she was anything less than perfect. I wanted blood.
I wanted to march up the steps of the Council building and demand an explanation from the Queen herself. I wanted to slap the owners of the fancy cars that cruised up the streets and scream at the people living in the mansions that seemed to be on every corner of this city.
However, the longer I sat on my bed and thought about the village, the less I could seem to recall. It was like trying to hold water in my hands, only to have it slip through my fingers at the last moment. I felt confused and my mind muddled, like I couldn’t think straight. I felt like I should just go to sleep, and I would wake up and find that I had imagined it all.
Instead, I pulled the small compass out of my pocket and stared down it. I took in its circular shape and studied the letters that marked the directions. Soraya had given me this, and it was no dream. I wouldn’t let myself forget her, I refused to. I would write everything I had seen down in a journal right now if that’s what it took to-The journal.
I still hadn’t looked at the journal that the librarian had given me. I glanced over at the clock on my nightstand. It was just after four pm, if I read quickly enough, I could still return it to the library before they closed for the night.
I stood up and went to go retrieve it from the bathroom, and a knock sounded at my door. I had a good idea of who it might be.
I opened the door. “Hey, Nell.”
She studied me for a moment. “What’s wrong?”
I ushered her in and closed the door. “Nothing that you’re not already aware of.” I hated lying to her, but thought it was best to keep Soraya and the village to myself for now, at least until I could gather more information.
She looked at me like she couldn’t decide if she believed me. “Yeah,” she said slowly, “I can’t believe Victoria had the nerve to do that. Are you okay? Where did you go?” I sat down on my bed. “I’m fine. I just went for a run to burn off some energy.” Nelly sat down next to me. “I hope it helped. I was a little worried back there. I thought you might lose control. Your soul was burning brighter than I’d ever seen it before. It was scary… I think Victoria learned her lesson though.”
“You Searched me again?” My tone was a little more accusing than I had intended.
She cringed a little. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to. Really, I didn’t even try to, it just happened. The rage was so intense that it sent me a, like, a shock wave. It even hurt a little bit. I was afraid you were going to… I was afraid you might kill her.” Her hazel eyes were filled with worry and what I thought was fear. I hoped it wasn’t fear of me. I took a deep breath to calm myself. Nelly wasn’t the one I was mad at. I didn’t really know who I was mad at.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to sound harsh. I’ve just had a long day. I don’t really care if you Search me.” I thought about Soraya and the village and corrected myself. “Just try not to, okay? Or at least tell me when you’re going to do it.” She nodded. “Okay.”
I glanced uneasily at the clock. “Would you mind letting me rest for a little bit? I just feel like I need to sleep it off.” I hoped that sounded believable.
“Of course.” She kissed my forehead and moved toward the door, but she stopped and turned back to me. “You sure there’s nothing else you want to talk about?” I just shook my head.
She opened the door. “Okay, I’ll see you later then.”
Alone at last, I retrieved the book from the bathroom and sat back on my bed.
Opening it up, I found that it was indeed a hand-written journal.
The first entry was dated over three-hundred years ago:
This dream I’ve been having has haunted me in the worst of ways. I’m beginning this journal so that I may remember that which haunts me. The dream shows me things that I fear have yet to come. Why I have been plagued with this knowledge is a mystery to me as of yet. That which has been revealed is so horrible that I pray I am wrong, and these things will not come to pass.
In my dream, I am shown a world of great wonders, a world where technology that has not yet been discovered rules over every creature. A world in which the tyrants of my own time pale in comparison to those that rule in this future time. Those who are unfit will be discarded and sent to live in horrid conditions. Though the motives are unclear to me as of yet, I do know that there will be great suffrage and dear losses.
The most frightening part of this new world is that there seems to be no Warriors present. The tyrants of this time have killed them off and the race becomes extinct. Without Warriors, my race is certain to perish as well, as we depend on one another for our existence.
I have seen one thing that gives me hope. A girl, whose strength is unparalleled by those of her time. She is a fighter. The only one of her kind, and so, it will fall upon her to free the people and stop the tyrants that plague this dark future. I only pray that she will be strong enough to take on this task; for in my dream, she is all alone, a single soul who holds the lives of so many in her hands.
The worst part is that I can see the fire inside of her; a fire so similar to my own. I can see the monster she struggles to contain, and I can see that it is a losing battle. And if the pain of the fire in my dreams is any indication, I cannot see how she will possibly succeed.
I read every page of the journal, from cover to cover, and on the last page, I found the answers to many of the questions I had had since I’d first arrived here.
Today, is the last day I shall be able to write here. I have lost my beloved Susan, my Warrior. It brings me great pain to even mention her name, and the pain that is now within me, the pain that she once took away, is going to destroy me at last.
Though, I feel an obligation to finish what I have started, and so, I write my final entry. The future has constantly become clearer and clearer in my dream since I first began these writings. Things in the world of my dream have become much worse than I had at first realized. The Accursed ones are in league with those who rule in this world I see. They conduct business with one another in a way that is quite sickening. They make deals and trades that are paid for in blood. There is no honor to be found here, there is no loyalty, no love.
But this girl I have seen has honor. She knows loyalty and love. She is worthy of the task that the Gods will place before her, and she will pay dearly to right the wrongs of her time. She will struggle greatly, but in the end, she will succeed. She will give all that she has to save those who need deliverance, but it will cost her everything. It will cost her her life.
Just as the loss of my Warrior will cost me mine. For we are not whole without the other, we cannot deal with the pain without the balance the other brings. So, I shall destroy myself, throw myself into the fire, before it has a chance to escape, and destroy everything in its path.
Shutting the journal, I stood up off the bed and tucked it under my jacket. I had been reading for about four hours, lost in the tales of this unknown prophet. The library would still be open for another hour, and I needed to return the book as I had promised.
As I walked toward the direction of the library, the darkness that had fallen seemed to envelope me in a way that was almost suffocating. I was trying really hard not to think about what I’d just learned. I was trying really hard not to believe it. There was no way that I was the girl that was mentioned. Absolutely no way.
When I reached the library, I found it empty. I s
tood by the front desk and rang the little silver bell that sat on its surface. After about my third ring, the librarian I had met the other day came out of the door that stood behind the desk.
She smiled when she saw me. “Warrior, I was worried you had forgotten.” I handed her the journal and she slipped it in the desk drawer. “Did you find the answers you were looking for?” she asked.
I released a heavy breath. “I can’t honestly say. I… I don’t know what I found.”
“Yes, I believe you do.”
I glanced around me and lowered my voice. “You don’t… you don’t think it’s me, do you? The girl mentioned in the journal? I mean, it can’t be, right?”
“Do you think it is?” she asked.
“No. I don’t. It can’t be.”
“And why not?”
I shrugged lamely. “It just can’t.”
Her face took on a disappointed look. “Then, there is no hope for any of us.” I turned around and left without another word. I refused to believe that just because some nutcase had a dream three hundred years ago, I was supposed to be some kind of savior. I was just a kid. I hadn’t even graduated high school yet. I was not that person. It wasn’t true. It couldn’t be.
Maybe the journal was a fake, a cruel, not-funny joke of some kind. Still, it raised a lot of questions; questions I had no answers for.
Besides, most of it made no sense. Like the parts about this other race that was dependent on Warriors for their survival, and vice-versa. I didn’t have that dependence on anyone. At least, I didn’t think I did. Also, the mentioning of the Lamias being in league with the people who ruled couldn’t be true; everyone I had met was deathly afraid of them. They’d built an enormous wall and a city that sat between two rivers to make sure that the “Accursed” were kept away.
But some of it, some of it had been dead-on. Like the way he’d described the fire inside of himself, the pain, it so closely matched my own. And the part about the horrid conditions that the people who weren’t fit lived in, that was extremely close to what I’d witnessed earlier today.
But honestly, my brain was too overloaded with information to even make any more comparisons at the moment. And truth be told, I was scared too. Because as much as I kept telling myself that I didn’t believe in prophecies, part of me wondered. I was seriously afraid to listen to that part, seriously afraid of what it meant if it was right, if the man’s dreams had been right. Hadn’t I just promised Soraya earlier today that I would make things right, just like the journal had said I would? Hadn’t I vowed to fix things for her and the people of her village? Had I been fulfilling the prophecy without even knowing about it? That was a scary thought.
But the scariest part of all had been the last entry. If it was true, if I was this girl, this savior, then I would pay for it. I would pay for it with my life. But that’s not what worried me, the truth of something else did. I knew, I knew that if I had to make a choice between my life and Soraya’s, I would choose to die. I didn’t even really know her, yet I would give my life for her. Not because I’m altruistic, but because it was who I was; who I had always been. I suppose that is what made me a true Warrior.
I just hoped like hell that the journal was wrong. I just hoped like hell.
Chapter 46
On the walk back to my dorm, I had to pass the Council building. I glared up at it in disdain. The statues of the robed people that lined the steps loomed over me in way that made me want to pick up some rocks and start throwing them at them. The trees that littered the well-manicured grounds cast shadows that seemed to be hiding secrets; secrets of bad deeds and wrongdoings, secrets that only things like trees were privy to.
Of the all buildings I had seen in this city, the Council building was by far the most imposing. I wondered what kind of sacrifice it took to build something so opulent, so supreme.
It had a way of making me feel small, insignificant. The large silver doors reminded me of enormous jaws that might reach out and swallow me whole at any moment. Even the mural of the silver sun, so much like the one on my shoulder, felt wrong being there. Its beauty shouldn’t have been placed on a structure that housed such lies and traitors.
I shook my head at those thoughts and stared up at the building. I really had no verification to feel that way. I wasn’t absolutely sure that the Queen and the Council were responsible for Soraya’s village. I still wasn’t sure what to think of that at all. And I also had decided that the journal was full of crap. I’d already said that the girl it mentioned couldn’t be me, so what would make me think that the parts about the “rulers of this time” being evil were true. Still, I found myself full of animosity. Maybe I was just upset about something being so luxurious while there were people living in poverty so nearby. I didn’t know what I thought.
Someone came out of the large silver doors as I was continuing my walk past the Council building. I stopped when I realized who it was. There was no mistaking the hair color and flannel shirt.
“What are you doing here, Jack?”
His face looked shocked for a moment before turning into a smile. “Actually, I was looking for you,” he said.
“In the Council building?”
He shrugged. “Well, I went by your room, and you weren’t there, so I checked Nelly’s room and you weren’t there either, so then I thought that maybe the Queen had called you in for another meeting or something.”
I hadn’t told Jackson about that meeting. I narrowed my eyes a little. “Jack, I never told you about my meeting with the Queen.”
He didn’t miss a beat. “I know. Nelly did.”
I would be verifying that with Nelly later.
I paused for a moment, shocked that that was my first thought. Why was I acting suspicious? This was Jackson, he wouldn’t lie to me; he was my best friend. He was my boyfriend.
“Oh,” I said stupidly. “Why did you need to find me so bad? What’s wrong?”
“Because I wanted to give you this,” he replied, handing me what he was holding.
My hand flew up to my neck and I gasped as I saw what it was. “Where did you find this?” It was my Mother’s necklace.
He smiled. “I Turned and went for a run earlier tonight, and I found it on the ground in the forest.”
I gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. I hadn’t felt it, but it must’ve fallen off on my journey through the forest today. I was glad he’d found it, because I would have been really upset when I realized it was gone. “Thank you, Jackson.” He took my hand. “You’re quite welcome, darling. Come on, I’ll walk you back.” As we began heading back toward my dorm, I felt my mood lighten a little.
Jackson always made me happy, and with so much mysterious drama going on in my life at the moment, I had almost forgotten that I had a boyfriend now. Jackson was my boyfriend, and even though I was still confused about my feelings for Kayden, I liked being with Jack.
His hand was warm in mine and I found myself enjoying the moment. Being with Jackson, holding his hand as we walked together under the stars was simple; simple and easy and even a little beautiful. In a world where everything had become so complicated and dyer, this was normal; this was peaceful.
I looked over at him and he looked down at me and smiled. It made his green eyes twinkle and I was reminded of how handsome he was. It’s not like I’d forgotten; everyone who saw Jackson thought he was good-looking. I guess I just hadn’t been paying attention lately with so much going on, but I was paying attention right now. I was paying a lot of attention.
“You’re kind of hot, you know that?” I said.
One corner of his mouth pulled up in a crooked smile. “You’re just noticing this?” I laughed and slapped his arm. “Yeah, you must have gotten cuter somehow all of a sudden.”
He chuckled. “Well, darling, I guess if I were you, it would be hard to consider anyone attractive when I got to see such beauty in the mirror in every morning. It’s hard to compete with that.”
I giggled and pulled h
im closer so that I could rest my head on his arm as we walked. He was too tall for me to reach his shoulder. “Do you ever run out of cheesy lines?” His face went thoughtful as I looked up him. “No, I don’t think so. But they’re not lines if they’re true, and you like them anyway.”
I considered the fact that I was still smiling. “Yeah, I do.”
“You know,” he continued. “Your scent was pretty strong in the forest today, that’s what led me to your necklace.”
I stiffened a little and my heart jumped, but I tried to play it cool. “You don’t say.” Oh, yeah, real cool.
He raised an eyebrow at that stupid line. “I do say. Why were you so far out in the trees? It can be dangerous out there.”
I tried not to sound defensive. “I was looking for big-foot, and I’m pretty confident I can take care of myself.”
He let the big-foot comment slide. “I’m sure you can, but be careful, the wolves Turn and run in those trees. I’m not sure what I’d do if you got hurt.” I gave his hand a light squeeze. “I will be… what’s it like when you Turn into your wolf form?” Not the most subtle change of subject, but whatever, I was curious.
He looked up and sighed. “Its… amazing. The most incredible thing I’ve ever experienced. My senses are so much sharper and I’m so much stronger and faster, I feel powerful. It also always makes me want to see you.”
“Why is that?”
“Because when I’m in my wolf form, the animal side of me is in the most control,” he hesitated, then added, “and wolves like to be with their mates all the time.” I almost stopped in my tracks. “Their what?”
He gave me a nervous smile. “I guess I should have told you a long time ago… My wolf chose you as its mate… that’s why I’ve always been so protective over you.” If I remembered my facts correctly from my animal science class back in the human world, wolves mated for life. I swallowed hard. “How similar are werewolves to real wolves.”